Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 7)

[simang]

sis slickchick, maybe that's what you should do na lang, less words, more actions.

[Girltalker2]

Depends nga din sa style nyo as a couple.

I personally prefer syempre the daily I love you's.  Para sakin why ko pipigilin eh kung yun yung nararamdaman ko. Life is short. I just say it. Maumay man sya o hindi.

Luckily, my BF is also on the romantic side. Otherwise di kami magkakasundo. Parang holding hands din iyan eh, a form of expression of one's feelings.

Since Ito style ko, feeling ko if the guy is not expressive, sa umpisa palang mapapansin ko na and malamang I won't pursue na the relationship. I realise Kasi with my personality, importante na romantic at expressive yung lalaki. Otherwise I would lose interest siguro.

[j.adore]

I learned long ago that life's too short so as long as you feel it, say it out loud.

[slickchick]

thanks sooo much sa mga insights nyo mga sis - mindiegirl, simang, Girltalker2, and j.adore! i appreciate it.  it gives me a better insight on what may be going into my guy's mind, and how to balance it with my own way of expressing affection. para tamang expectations lang din.. 

sis mindiegirl and sis simang - alam nyo mga sis, a friend also told me about that "love language" thing, and baka daw hindi words ang love language ng bf ko kaya di sya yung expressive type - expressive in the sense na di mahilig magsabi ng "i love you"... may ilang types daw kasi yung love language na yan.. and baka daw my bf has his own way of expressing and feeling love... ang hirap lang kasi for the "more action" part is we only meet twice a week kasi busy rin sya sa work so medyo more on text and calls kme for those days na di kme makapag meet.. anyways, makapag research nga tungkol sa love language na yan.. baka naman dun nagkakatalo.. haha! the things we do for loooove.. hehe! 

[mindiegirl]

Yes sis slickchick, "in the name of L-O-V-E" I agree! Haha! Its actually very helpful in deciphering your significant other's personality. I even have that book waaay before I had a relationship. Hehe. It's very enlightening and applicable also even sa non romantic relationships. 

Anyways, it something like this: https://www.google.com.ph/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1008&bih=450&q=love+languages+by+gary+chapman&oq=love+languages+by+gary+chapman&gs_l=img.3..0i5i30l2j0i24l2.845.8738.0.9100.30.24.0.0.0.0.584.2924.2-3j3j1j1.8.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..22.8.2920.y6HXEwTv4pw#imgrc=u9eorEon8uCqvM%3A

[oshiawase]

RELATED TO MY PREVIOUS QUESTION:

Guys, do you often give "special treatment" to a girl you romantically like? If yes, how do you usually show it?

I have this guy friend who calls and texts me and rants about his work. I was the first person he called when he lost in this inter-department competition they had. First person he called when he found out he's being transferred to another office. He texts and calls generally to rant about work and his personal life and all. When in a group, he often asks if I am okay simply because I became quiet for a few minutes.

I know we're friends but I want to know if I am being given the "special treatment" here.

thank you!

[three8one]

^ yes, he is giving you an special treatment.

[oshiawase]

Guys, paano ninyo "binabakuran" ang isang girl?

[TomHansen]

^ Bakuran is doing things to make people around you think na "kayo" kahit hindi. Palagi siyang nasa tabi mo kapag nasa lugar ka na matao or maraming lalake. Madalas magppretend na bff..

[oshiawase]

^ by "bff" ba ibig sabihin, "best friend"? May kaibigan kasi ako na ako lang, sa lahat ng kaibigan niyang babae, ang iniintroduce niya as "best friend" sa mga kaibigan/office mates niya kahit na alam kong meron siyang ibang "best friend" (mas matagal nang mas kakilala) na ibang babae.

[wildchildd]

You've been together for a couple of years, may anak kayo.. pero yung pagsasama niyo din na parang dati, wala nang holding hands, wala nang kiss. Mag bf/gf kayo pero wala nang kahit anong sweetness. May Para sa inyong guys, anong ibig sabihin nito? Wala na? Bakit ayaw pa ng guy na makipaghiwalay?

[TomHansen]

^ pero hindi lang naman porke tinatawag ka niyang bestfriend e binabakuran ka na niya. Pwedeng sinasabi niya lang yun para ipaalam sa kanila na "hindi kayo" kahit close kayo sa isat-isa, ayaw niyang mamis-interpret ng iba.

[oshiawase]

^ pero hindi lang naman porke tinatawag ka niyang bestfriend e binabakuran ka na niya. Pwedeng sinasabi niya lang yun para ipaalam sa kanila na "hindi kayo" kahit close kayo sa isat-isa, ayaw niyang mamis-interpret ng iba.

tama! salamat!

[dismembered]

You've been together for a couple of years, may anak kayo.. pero yung pagsasama niyo din na parang dati, wala nang holding hands, wala nang kiss. Mag bf/gf kayo pero wala nang kahit anong sweetness. May Para sa inyong guys, anong ibig sabihin nito? Wala na? Bakit ayaw pa ng guy na makipaghiwalay?

I don't know... Pero I think minsan, may mga bagay na mas mahalaga kesa sa romance. Nagsasakitan ba sila? Nag cheat ba? I don't think na porket walang sweetness eh reason na para maghiwalay.

[Girltalker2]

^ importante ang romance sa isang relationship, otherwise bakit ka pa nakipag relasyon? Eh di humanap ka nalang ng kasama sa bahay or kaibigan/best friend.

Without romance, parang walang saysay ang pagsasama. Mas meaningful ang pagsasama tsaka ang buhay kung maayos at special at pakikitungo nyo sa isa't Isa.

Feeling ko dyan magaling ang karamihang mga Pinoy. Malandi lang pag nanliligaw. Pag kayo na, nababawasan ang caring at expression of love. Di mo tuloy alam kung talagang wala nang love or may babae or what.

[dismembered]

^ That's your opinion. Pero may anak na. Possible married din sila. Isn't that not enough para mag hold on? Pagpapalit lahat ng meron for the sake of romance? I don't know... Feelings change. Yung romance na sinasabi is something variable. May araw na bad mood may araw na good mood. What I'm saying is napaka unstable ng feelings ng tao. You really can't decide things like this based on feelings. Nababago ang feelings. May araw na down, may araw na oks naman.

Without romance walang saysay ang pagsasama? Romance lang ba ang reason para magsama? Again... mahirap mag decide na ang pagbabasehan ay feelings lang.

Feeling ko din strength ito ng mga pinoy. Kahit walang romance, o kahit hindi masaya nag stay. Tignan mo sa ibang bansa. Maliit na bagay hindi pagkasunduan, divorce agad. hanap agad ng kapalit.

[Girltalker2]

^ yes bro iba tayo ng opinion. But would also like to clarify some of your statements. Some di ko na inexplain at medyo na misinterpret.

^ That's your opinion. Pero may anak na. Possible married din sila. Isn't that not enough para mag hold on?

Para sakin no. Life is short. Yes selfish Pero is rather be in a loving relationship kesa matamlay na ganyan.

Tsaka wala naman akong sinabi na walang romance hiwalay na agad. Point ko lang, bilang mag asawa, obligation natin alagaan ang relationship.

If ganyang mag asawa na, importante mag usap at ayusin. Otherwise para ka namang nasa purgatory nyan.

Kaya kahit sa mga past posts Ko, lagi ko ina advise sa mga single na maging makilatis sa magiging partner or manliligaw. Make sure Pareho approach nyo otherwise sooner or later, this will be an issue - hanap ni Wife konting lambing, si hubby naman walang pake, so pano.

Pagpapalit lahat ng meron for the sake of romance? I don't know... Feelings change. Yung romance na sinasabi is something variable. May araw na bad mood may araw na good mood. What I'm saying is napaka unstable ng feelings ng tao. You really can't decide things like this based on feelings. Nababago ang feelings. May araw na down, may araw na oks naman.

Without romance walang saysay ang pagsasama? Romance lang ba ang reason para magsama? Again... mahirap mag decide na ang pagbabasehan ay feelings lang.

Romance is not like nakatitig kayo sa isa't Isa 24/7. Para sakin, it is being in a loving relationship whereby both of you continuously express your love for each other, and nourish your relationship as a couple and grow as a family.

Minsan may mood ka, I agree. But it doesn't give you a ticket to be bastos or dedmahin ang partner mo. Tao din sya with feelings. More so sya dapat Ang pinaka importanteng tao sa buhay mo. Therefore I believe both Husband and Wife should treat each other with love and care.
At di purkit may Anak Na kayo, hoy at hoy nalang ang tawagan.

Feeling ko din strength ito ng mga pinoy. Kahit walang romance, o kahit hindi masaya nag stay. Tignan mo sa ibang bansa. Maliit na bagay hindi pagkasunduan, divorce agad. hanap agad ng kapalit.

Kaya ba naglipana ang pangangaliwa at mistresses at mga anak sa labas?

[dismembered]

^ But then people change. Change is inevitable. May pagkakataon na mangyayari at mangyayari talaga yan. Unless selective tayo sa phrases na "for better or for worse". Lahat ng actions natin may consequences. Unfair but life is really unfair. May mga taong dumaan din sa ganyang phase. Some mas worse pa ang nangyari but they chose to stay. Dalawang bagay lang naman lagi... either you look at the glass half empty or half full. Some stayed not for what their partner can't provide, but for the other things that he can provide.

I agree with you na dapat alagaan ang relationship. Wives should subject to their husband and husband should love his wife.  Minsan may kulang talaga sa dalawang yan... pero yun nga... for better or for worse. no choice na. I believe hiwalayan is not an option.

Kaya kahit sa mga past posts Ko, lagi ko ina advise sa mga single na maging makilatis sa magiging partner or manliligaw. Make sure Pareho approach nyo otherwise sooner or later, this will be an issue - hanap ni Wife konting lambing, si hubby naman walang pake, so pano.

Super agree ako sayo dito. While single you really have to choose carefully. kasi nga I believe hiwalayan is not an option. If magkamali man ng decision, at mali pala ang napili, hindi ba part yun ng consequences ng previous actions natin? Dapat panindigan?

Kaya ba naglipana ang pangangaliwa at mistresses at mga anak sa labas?

Sa ibang bansa na 1 week lang kasal divorce agad? Yeah wala ngang mistresses pero madaming ex wife at anak din sa previous relationship.

[Girltalker2]

^ But then people change. Change is inevitable. May pagkakataon na mangyayari at mangyayari talaga yan.

Yes people CAN change. Pero if you grow 'together', somehow you accept each other's evolution and both of you are still one, despite the number of kids or years you've been together.

hindi yung after magka anak, bahala ka sa buhay mo at ako rin. Ni walang affection. Sooner or later, sure fire iyan na you will outgrow each other. Then what happens next? Tiisan nalang ba til death stop your suffering?

Something is fundamentally wrong in a relationship na walang affection. Kaya couples need to work on it, otherwise, I don't see why you need to maintain the relationship. Sayang lang effort mo sa kakaisip at sama ng loob. isipin mo life as it is is complicated enough, maghanap ka pa ng relationship na ganyan? Parang naghanap ka lang ng bato na ipukpok mo sa ulo mo.

For me you only have one life to live. Live it more meaningfully. Relationships are there to give Color (sana naman masasayang kulay). Huwag naman tiisan at patagalan at matira matibay. That really sounds like hell

[mindiegirl]

If I may, sorry oot. Always worth the read ang mga conversations ni gt2 and dismembered. Parehong may point at full of principles. Im learning a lot! Perfect example of a healthy debate!