TS, I salute you for being able to keep it to yourself for days. Para sakin it is a sign of strength and whatever happens, kaya mo iyan harapin.
Happened to me rin before and if I were to turn back the clock, I wouldn't have confronted him immediately. Sakin kasi the minute I knew, confront agad. With all emotions etc and didn't even have time to evaluate the situation.
Para sakin, if you're not ready to face the consequences, you may want to wait muna while you compose yourself and think about your plans for each possible outcome (na desidido ka at buo ang loob mo to pursue).
Possible outcomes:
1. I-deny nya (MOST LIKELY)
2. Aminin nya but he wants to stay in the marriage
3. Aminin nya. Mag sorry but not sincere pala. Life goes on but itatago nya lalo ang affair from you. (LIKELY)
4. Aminin nya and wants out of the marriage. (Not likely sa start ng confrontation but eventually may happen once he knows you know na naman pala and as their relationship grows)
5. The Miracle. Mag sorry nang totoo, stop the affair and be faithful to you forever. (LEAST LIKELY)
Sa unang tingin, parang pinaka scariest is #4. Sa experience ko, #1 and eventually nag pingpong sa #2 and #3. And I tell you it was the worst thing for me to be stuck in a marriage with no peace of mind for several years.
Ang tanong ko lang sis, if you confront him, are you ready to accept any one of the consequences above? Lalo na if he wants out (#4), ano gagawin mo, just beg for his mercy? Or if he wants to stay in the marriage but continue the affair (#2), ano ang gagawin mo.
The first one - deny - will be the most likely reaction. Then it is either he will avoid you lalo or just be more careful on his moves. But ang issue is, this reaction cannot help salvage your marriage.
So so far, for 3 consequences - #1 deny, or #2 aminin but stay parin sa marriage at #4 he wants out - all these 3 may not be a good idea to confront him. Wala kang mapapala at nalagyan mo pa lalo ng lamat ang relationship nyo.
So for #3 mag sorry and tells you wala yun but continues the affair behind your back, ganun din. Not worth confronting kasi ang kakalabasan mo nyan ay para kayong nagpapatintero lagi. You won't trust him, neither would he. He will continue to lie to you na wala syang babae, but you will spend your time and energy investigating because you always want to find out what they are doing, what he/she is up to, where they went, etc. and each time may malaman ka, you will cry, breakdown, get angrier, etc. This will not lead you anywhere but simply the prolonged agony (on your part lang) and eventually the destruction of the marriage.
Now na he is unaware pa that you know, IMHO, it is best NOT to confront unless you're ready to face separation. Use this advantage to know what's happening and perhaps try to fix your marriage - if repairable ikanga. Baka naman fling lang talaga at next month wala na sya. Because it is only by NOT confronting him, you can compose yourself and think of your next plan.
For example, if you ask money from him, lalo sya mag-guilty, mas marami ka maitabi muna in preparation of your separation. Things like this. Mas may option karin gumalaw for him not to be suspicious - you can investigate further how deep their relationship is and formulate your plan from there. Or puede ka lalong maging mabait or malambing sa kanya (Kung kaya mo) para makonsyensya sya and wait it out kung uubra. More time din to pursue a career, ask for his support if you want to study again, hire helpers for the kids and house para you can do more sa business/career mo - lalo syang madali pumayag if guilty and not yet confronted.
But again, opinion ko lang, don't confront if you're not ready or haven't done your homework. Sorry for the long post (may pinaghuhugutan
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