Natatangahan lang ako sa sarili ko. Lol!
So I am friends with this guy. We are a group of friends. Barkada. And in that group, kami yun closest. Nothing romantic, really. Wala kaming gusto sa isa't isa. Pure friends lang. Actually, para ko syang kapatid. Our friendship, though, is a bit different from how we are friends with the other people in the group. Since kami yun closest, kami yun laging share sa food, share sa bottled drinks, (indirect kiss daw yun Lol!), laging magkatabi, laging nagpplan ng mga lakad, et cetera. He even farts in front of me! Ganun na kami kacomfortable. Akala nga ng iba may something pero ang totoo wala. There were times when I assessed myself kung wala ba talaga ko nafefeel, and I'd always say wala talaga.
He is my friend, yes, and because of that, I know that he is not my ideal boyfriend. He is my friend, yet we fight all the time. As in fight. Lagi kami di magkasundo sa mga ideas. Palagi nya binabara mga sinasabi ko, but at the the end of the day, we stick together. Kami pa din ang magkasama. Minsan nga sa sobrang inis ko na sa kanya, ayoko na sya kasama. Pero pag dumating sya and inaya ako somewhere or simpleng tambay lang, sama naman ako.
Nakakainis lang kasi lately, I've been thinking of him more quite often. It started when the group went out for a few drinks a couple of weeks ago. Di naman lasingan, tamang few bottles lang. And he attempted to kiss me. Pero yun parang joke lang. I don't know. Di ko naman pinatulan. Pero that night he was extra sweet and caring. Maalaga. Eh hindi naman sya ganun talaga. Kaya nga kami lagi nag aaway kasi madalas parang wala naman sya pakialam. So I was surprised when he showed me that side of him. The following day, di namin pinag usapan yun nangyari nung gabi. Pero it was brought up kasi inaasar namin sya na lasing sya. He insisted he wasn't. Tapos sabi nya sakin, "Bakit pinipilit mo na lasing ako? Dahil ba pinagtripan kita?" The term! Tapos tawa sya. Di ko na lang pinahalata na nainis ako. Nakitawa na lang din ako kasi parang no big deal pala. Ako naman si t****, kung ano ano na inisip ko, like, what if pinatulan ko yun. What if nagkiss kami. What if ganyan.
At nababaliw ako kasi parang feeling ko nagkakafeelings ako na ewan!