Need help with my delinquent niece

[Girltalker2]

^ magka trabaho /officemates if meron.

Saya saya siguro ni kabit kasi puede na sya maging legal.

[donya_dyosa]

Hi t.s. Saw your post sa isangbthread. Did your sil died na? Omg.. Condolence sainyo, hows your niece?

[momentum]

yes sis, SIL passed away na..

finally was able to get in touch with my *censored* brother.
ayun, he doesn't want to have anything to do with the problem.
we went really deep into finding him and made sure the message was relayed to him about yung situation. no choice siya kundi magparamdam na talaga samin kasi we did it publicly na (FB)..he left us with no choice.

takot ako para sa kanya sa bigat na karma na haharapin niya. he and his kabitch. they deserve to rot in hell. kahit ano man pinagdadaanan niya sa buhay kaya di niya magawang magpakita and support his kids, wala sa level yun ng pinagdadaanan ng kids niya ngayon.

the mom of SIL already came from the U.S. pero kelangan parin niya umalis after some time.
for now siya yung nag ooversee ng kids while she is fixing legal stuff. kami ni mama bisi-bisita and mag-abot ng whatever we can help (usually in kind, home made or store bought stuff) sa mga baon nila sa school.

may ginawa wrong move itong mother ni SIL
she bought the latest Samsung phones for the 3 kids, enrolled them too on data plans
so many thoughts run through my mind..so many WHYs
~bakit nakapag labas siya ng ganun kalaking pera for that, and yet naghihirap the kids and SIL when she as still alive.
~bakit nakalabas niya ng ganun pera now, pero not when SIL needed therapy, needed more money to buy her meds and milk, to cure her bed soars etc
~bakit siya nakapaglabas ngayon ng pera, pero before she came the kids and the one holding the money was struggling to make ends meet, can't even pay their overdue landline na naputol na, pati kuryente etc etc
so many others.

napa -WTF nalang ako...I really was so angry and sakit sa dibdib when I found out.
maybe she did that para madivert attention ng mga kids from their loss?..and maybe so that she can talk to them via viber when she leaves? siya lang ang nakaka alam. kahit yung tagahawak ng budget ng kids nagulat sa purchase na ito. nanghinayang din sa pera.

my mom and I think it's a veryyyy bad idea..possible recipe for disaster.
i once chanced upon both my niece's open fb accounts when they borrowed my mom's iphone.
puro kabastusan mga posts ng friends nila..as in sexually bastos words.
and we all know ano effects the social media sa kids..lalo lately yung mga scandal etc na ngyari involving kids. okay lang if they had data, but DAPAT supervised lalo na't ang babata pa nila.
I don't know, pero I really think they are too young for that pa talaga.


haaayyyy..I just hope this is not another nightmare waiting to happen.

[Msfi]

^kung ganyan yung Lola nila I don't think she will sustain paying for that plan, sino na magbabayad after? Ayaw ba talaga ng brother mo namagbigay Kahit ng financial support? Responsibility nya mga anak nya, ipapasa nya sa iba? Naaawa naman ako sa mga pamangkin mo.

How about seeking the support legally? Kadema-demanda na yung ganyang AMA.

[momentum]

walang ibang magbabayad sis kundi siya. siya yung bumili ng phones and siya rin nagkuha ng plans. so siya magbabayad. she has 2 jobs sa U.S pero nakaka-awa narin kasi syempre matanda narin, she's 60+ narin just like my mom. she pays for the school of the 3 kids + yung graduating 1st son ni SIL na nasa U.S kasama niya. sana nga yung eldest brother na yun umuwi na dito para siya yung pinaka bantay sa kids when the lola goes back to the US. pero malamang duon rin siya magwowork.

about kay *censored* brother, kabitch mentioned 2 months ago na wala na siyang work for 3 months already. he took a break. nung una ok lang daw sa kanya na siya yung nagwowork pero siyempre after some time nahihirapan narin siya buhayin their kid and my brother. she works from home. and nung nacontact narin namin si brother mukang he just started working from home narin.

actually may kaso na talaga yang si brother, si mama ang nag file, si mama ang nagpush na i-file actually, this was the time na kakahiwalay palang ni SIL at brother. pero alam naman natin dito sa pinas. ang bagal. lalo na't free lawyer (PAO ba right term?) lang kinuha nila mama since we do not have that much funds.

[Msfi]

^ yun ang malungkot dito sa pinas, baka pag matapos yung case eh matanda na yung mga bata. You need to encourage the children to use all their experience sa positive way.  Maraming mga naging successful na tao na galing sa walang wala. It is now up to them kung ano ang magiging future nila.  From here onward magiging mahirap na talaga for them not just financially but emotionally.  Sana wag kayong magsawa ng mom na tulungan sila. God bless sis.

[evilwoman]

@momentum - naoverwhelm siguro ng guilt ang lola kaya napabili ng ganun.impulse buy kumbaga.yung nasampa sa brother mo, hindi ba criminal case? Kasi kung ganun mas lalo talaga hindi makakapagwork yan.magtiis na lang pagbuhay sa kanya si kabit.

[jidhel]

I thought problema na ang mga buhay magasawa dito sa GT. Jusko with TS situation, parang sinalo na lahat ng problema sa mundo. I feel so sad. I have my own problems din pero mas okay pa pala ako. I pray na sana better na situation ni TS by now and the pamangkins. Wala naman permanent daw sa mundo so sana nga. I wish you and the pamangkins better days and life. God will take care of you since you are helpful and carried the burden kahit Hindi kayo and immediate family.

[momentum]

I thought I would update this thread..

Just yesterday we all found out that si eldest pamangkin, who just turned 16yo last October.. is pregnant 

she said 2months na daw..but my mom said it seems like it is now 3-4months

Although I had warned her about this..and really had a gut feel this could happen if she doesn't change her ways, eto na, ngyari na and it has shocked us all. kung kelan naman nag imporove na siya. maybe kaya hindi na siya pala labas lately at nagbibigay ng sakit ng ulo is because ito na pala hinaharap niya now and tinatago.

kulang pa ginoo 

[momentum]

^I am not sure. Thanks for the recommended places..I wonder how much yung pagstay niya dun if ever..because I inquired na before sa mga homes for teenage troubled kids but they cost a lot..we cannot afford kasi I myself is a single mom and the grandma of the kids (mom's side) is supporting the schooling of 3 of her siblings pa..

I don't know sis sino mag aalaga..she cannot even work yet because she is just 16..and because hindi niya sineseryoso her schooling before, it will be hard for her to find a decent job.

told my mom we have to set-up a meeting with her bf (if sila pa) and his parents, baka kasi hindi pa alam ng parents. ang problema nito is what if the guy denies its his...si pamangkin kasi andami na naging bf ata 

[Msfi]

^mayron din sa may Cubao, Kaisang Buhay Foundation

[momentum]

^thanks for the recommended place sis..still thinking about this. matinding pagiisip to ano gagawin namin sa situation na ito. kasi baka naman she will feel na kung kelan kelangan na kelangan niya kami na family niya eh yun yung time we will send her away again. last time she was away fro 3 months was in DSWD.

[momentum]

5 months preggy na si pamangkin. this friday na first ultrasound nya and blood test.
I feel so overwhelmed and sad about this...I bet she feels that way 1000x more.
nagkakalabuan na sila ng lalake..ayaw na daw niya makita o macontact..magulo daw lagi usapan kapag sila lang naguusap so kami nalang daw makipag-usap.

ayaw niya rin na habulin namin yung parents if ever ayaw nila magsupport..ayaw na daw niya ng gulo.
kakayanin naman daw. hays 

I texted my brother as soon as we found out. deadma sa text. kahit active pa numbers.
I messaged him in fb a week after, he then blocked me and changed his name. I don't really know how he can stomach all this. ibang klase talaga

[Msfi]

^check mo lang din yung mga foundation mentioned so you'll know your options should need arises. Ang alam ko sa Kaisang buhay, they will help during pregnancy pero the decision na ipa-adopt ang bata or hindi ay nasa mom. Pwedeng hindi ipa adopt kung ayaw.  I think she will be better if maipasok dun para mas may matutunan sya sa nangyari sa kanya.  May mga counseling kasi sila dun.

Hindi naman nyo sya tinatalikuran, ever since naman andyan kayo ng mommy mo para sa kanila. Dapat na realize na nya yan by this time.

[momentum]

^tumawag ako sa Kalinga sis..got all the details pano. Will just have to tell my mom about this. It will still boil down kung papayag ba si pamangkin to be away from her siblings/us while going through this stage. yung sa Kalinga she can only stay there until after 1 month of giving birth.

[Msfi]

^tulong lang talaga naman sila sa pregnancy, pero at least by the time she gave birth eh. At least mayron pwedeng puntahan pag maging magulo ang situation. 

hindi ko sis maisip kung paano mangyayari sa pamangkin mo.  You and your mom can only do so much.  3 sila and you have your own responsibilities, paano nyo kakayanin yan? Tell your pamangkin that she should consider sharing the responsibilities with the father of her child.  Madali sabihin na kakayanin na lang pero how? Sa pag-aalaga pa lang ng baby baka sumuko sya. 

Hindi ko maintindihan talaga kung anong klaseng tao ang tatay ng mga pamangkin mo. Ipa-Tulfo mo na kaya.

[momentum]

^kahit ako sis hindi ko rin alam paano nagagawa mg half brother ko to turn a blind eye on them all.

Yes tama ka sis mahirap na iako talaga lahat. Iniisip ko palang jusko nanlalambot na ako. Im also thinking what if ipaadopt nalang kaya the baby? kaso mahirap din disisyunan coz we never experience yung scenario na magpa adopt at what if in the end mag sisi naman. :_(

[Msfi]

^mahirap talaga ng situation na yan at di pwede na ikaw ang magdecide.  Whatever she decides, there will always be a what if. 

[luliluli]

Your story is very disturbing, but this show the personality of the parents and the parents they grow up with, some people like to take chance kung makakalusot why not, very filipino thinking, i dont suggest to give the kids away, ur brother need to learn lesson if his past if he can not make his responsibility the u need to return the kids to their mom.

[donya_dyosa]

Hindi ba pwedeng ipapulis si half brother? Anak nya yan eh. Siya dapat ang magintindi.
On your side, nagawa niyo na lahat.

Sa pagaadopt naman.. Ok lang sana kaso katulad ng sa tita ko. Inadopt niya yung anak sa labas ng anak niya, ayun.. Naganak ulit hanggang sa naka 5 anak pa sa labas.
May sumasalo kasi kaya malakas loob magkamali..