Dear Sisses,
Thank you guys for the all the advice. It's already over. this time i made sure im the one who got away.
narealize ko kasi how miserable i am since bumalik ako ng mid.east. i could'nt function well kasi kelangan ko mag adjust sa oras ng availability niya and i dont think i deserve it.
it was 2nd week of april when i finally say to myself na napatawad ko na yung sarili ko for being so stupid enough na makasakit ng ibang tao just because i was hurt before, to the point na napapanaginipan ko pa yung situation and it bothers me a lot.
i tried to fight againts what im feeling is right pero mali eh inaassume ko lang na tama
[textspeak!] gusto ko. paulit ulit kong binabasa yung mga replies niyo then i talked to my family, honestly i was shaking at that time but i need their honest opinion and they deserve to know. madami akong narinig na pro's and cons and then my dad said to me "anak,we're not pressuring you to settle down why in a hurry? god will give you a man who will love you and will never hide you,i raised you like a princess you dont deserve to be just an option." it was those words that woke me up from this kahibangan.
i talked to him again, i said my thoughts and what my family's opinion about the situation and as usual, promises pa din na hihiwalayan na niya and magwait lang daw ako ng few days more kasi aalis na daw sa bahay nila yung girl. i never listen from that moment on, sabi ko sa sarili ko i gave him a month to sort it out and walang nangyare i wont waste any of my time anymore.
those sneaky dates we had while i was in manila, those times na we had to seat at the back of restaurant so that we can hide just in case may makakilala sa kanya, those sneaky phone calls he made to set up something with me, those excuses why he cant come out sa mga napagusaan namin... i will treasure it as a once in a lifetime adventure and it wil be the first and last time that i will do it. i will ask God everyday to forgive me for hurting the live-in partner.
and guess what sisses? i cried myself to sleep, then i just woke up the following day like nothing happened. maybe because i already decided to walk away and hindi na ganun kamahal, narealize ko baka namiss ko lang yung idea ng love between us but not the person. para akong nawalan ng baggage after that, hindi na ko nag iisip ng oras sa pinas at naghihintay ng attention niya na halos magmakaawa.
what i want to say is: THANK YOU EVERYONE. lesson learned for me. a love when its pure and true will not let you wait, he will be proud of you because he knows your worth. God will provide the right person at the right time.
till then sisses! thank you very much.
