Hi gtalkers it's been a while...
i need expert advice, kelangan ko sampalin ng realidad.
I have this situation, about my first love... exclusively dating kami for 4 years high-school to college, then relationship lasted for almost 3 years til college graduation, aside from that we have the same circle of friends.
Unfortunately we broke up by 2010 due to third party on his side, i was hurt badly that i asked my parents to move somewhere far, I had 2 short relationships that lasted for 6 months in 2011 and 2012 but i cant move forward to another level with those relationship because all i can think of is him. I even manage to send cupcakes on his birthday during those times, nagkita rin kami once or twice til 2013 whenever nasa pinas ako.
All my prayers since we broke up were to be with Him again, everyday of my life I prayed to God na ibalik siya but it didnt happened til sinukuan ko yung dasal na yun april 2013 when i learned that he has a current girlfriend na decent enough and i felt that time na i should move on with my life.
So it happened, I lost communication with my first love, deleted sa YM FB and every social media na... then our friends told me that live-in na nga daw kaya ako naman dahil masakit padin sakin, I diverted my frustration and heartbreak sa work, I accomplish many things, I even built an empire to protect my heart from being hurt again. I went back to MNL by july 2014, im so sure of myself that time na wala na.. wala na akong pakialam sa kanya, napatawad ko na at hindi na ako umaasa pang babalik siya. that vacation went by smoothly, never saw him that time though madami na ko naririnig sa mga friends namin bout his situation pero dinededma ko lang. sabi ko sa sarili ko wala akong naririnig, wala akong pakelam.
then came March2015, unexpectedly met him after 2 years because of our friends. we talked, said sorry for everything, kwinento niya yung situation niya with the live in, and his intention na bumalik sakin.. nasa kanya pa lahat ng singsing kwintas at yung scrapbook na ginawa ko nung first anniversary namin.. he swears to God na pinagsisisihan niya yung ginawa niya.
I was so confuse at that moment, i never saw this coming but
everything fell out of place, i felt excited for us,i lost focus, my great wall was shaken, i felt selfish so during my entire vacation i was with him knowing na at the end of the day may uuwian siya, he even managed to sneak out at hindi siya nahahalata na nakikipag kita sakin. nakapunta pa siya sa airport nung paalis na ako.
bumaliktad na yung mundo, kabit ako ngayon and im hurting someone else.. mapatawad sana ako nung girl someday.
we made plans already na susunod siya sakin, everyone we know is so supportive na magkabalikan kami ... i dont know if God is testing me or this is second chance.
pero im having doubts kung tama ba to, kung magtitiwala na ba ako ulit, kung dapat ko bang pairalin nanaman tong puso na to.
and one more thing, i dont know why he cant break up with the live in partner right now when he even swear na hindi na siya masaya.
now i dont know which way to go, kung ipagpapatuloy ko ba to or itigil ko na.
