Symptoms of a Break-up

[yaone]

For me ito ang nakita kong signs (actually cool off na kami pero feeling ko dun na din papunta)

1. Mabigat na daw ang pakiramdam nya, hindi nya alam kung bakit
2. Kung may savings kayo together magtatanong sya kung magkano na nacontribute mo tapos pag tinanong mo kung bakit, wala lang sasagot sayo
3. Magbibigay sya ng situation and hihingi ng opinion sa yo tungkol sa pagiging single and befriending exes
4. At higit sa lahat (sinabi nya ng humahagulgol) kailangan nya ayusin ang sarili nya, hindi na daw sya ang lalaking minahal ko, kung hindi na daw ako makapaghintay mag move on na ako.

Ang sakit sakit mga sis.. nagbabasa na lang din muna ako ng threads here para maenlgihten.

[Marquita]

Im on the other side of the situation. I feel like i want to break up but honestly i dont have a solid reason to so im just here.
On going 6 years

All i know for a fact is that
I dont feel like cuddling or being sweet to my bf anymore since he betrayed me. But has now changed and is forgiven.

I feel like wala kaming future together kasi hindi sya stable financially at kung ano ano pa pinag ggastusan at hindi nagiipon.

I feel like di naman [textspeak!] kami connected aa isat isa. Para bang napaka kulang ng communication at deep talk.

Feeling ko rin di naman na ako ineeffortan or nililigawan kahit matagal na kami parang super comfortable na sya sa situation.

Our sex life is dwindling probably bec. Of how i feel and how he made me feel like he doesnt want it as much as before.

These are all my reasons why im starting to become cold. And i dont know what to do about them. To leave or to work it out...

[NeilRudecat]

Hi Marquita,

I have a somewhat similar situation so maybe I could help. 

Keep it short and simple for him.  What he did to you continues to affect you and your relationship.  Yes, he has changed and you have forgiven him...but each of us have our unique ways of dealing with situations.  You tell him what has happened to you and what continues to be happening.  If he truly loves you, he should have tried ko know the depth of that pain or suffering he has caused you and did a lot of extra efforts to help you heal.

Since he has not helped you heal.  You need to do it yourself...so you need to end your relationship with him.

He also has to be JOLTED to make him realize the impact of what he has done.  He needs to confront the consequences of his actions.  This break up is just a part of those consequences.

He has to undergo this process so he would truly learn from his mistake.

I believe the process is: (1) accept and be held responsible, (2) apologize, (3) make reparations, try to rectify or fix what can be fixed, (4) do some extra good because there're always areas that have been damaged and are beyond repair...and all this without any guarantee of being forgiven or that what was done will be forgotten.  We are human beings, we're not objects that are simply repaired.

(Actually, I based the above from a part of the Act of Contrition prayer..."I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life.")

Take care of yourself, okay.  You deserve to be loved with truth and faith.