Symptoms of a Break-up

[zelda]

Workers and I had this topic over lunch. One of us (not me, swear) is totally going ga** over her bf's apparent "coldness" to her. Most guys said, just give the guy a break but the ladies are not buying it.

According to this co-worker:
1. It takes him gazillion years before he replies to her messages.
2. The usual 1-hour phone call they had before at night turned into a less than 10-minute talk, mostly about their work.
3. He doesn't initiate "text exchanges" anymore.
4. When they're out, he always finds reasons to cut their "spending-time-together" short.
5. Medyo madali ng uminit ang ulo. Like simple things have become major deals for him.

etc.

She swears nafi-feel na nya, anytime soon, he'll ask for space. Meron nga bang symptoms of break-ups? Pwede bang wala sa mood lang?

[muymuy]

Hehe. Ang kyut ng thread na to..

Pero imposibleng wala sa mood lang si bf.. Kung wala sa mood, dapat after ilang days balik na ulit sa dati.. Yung about sa phone calls, normal lang yun na naLessen na ang talkathon. Sa una shempre kilig kilig pa kaya unli.. Pero pag matagal na, medyo ilang mins lang ok na. Pero bakit di na lang kausapin ni friend mo yung guy? Balitaan mo na lang kami sis kung ano mangyayari sa kanila..

[17glut]

Based from the "signs" na ni-layout mo, the guy is definitely getting burned out with their relationship na. Madami possible reasons yan pero syempre hindi lahat kasalanan ng guy, possible din na nagbigay ng dahilan si girl kaya maging ganun si guy towards her.

Those symptoms is about to get worst pag hindi naagapan and there is only one cure: communication.

[lovely_carrot]

Hehe, eto yung topic kanina sa The Morning Rush (RX 93.1)

Most likely ayaw na nung guy.

Add ko lang based from my experience:

My partner used to spoon me while sleeping, as in sya yung yayakap sa akin pero a few weeks before we separated, parang ako lagi, ayaw nya na humarap sa akin. He also doesn't kulit me during sexy time, nagbago talaga tapos he changed my name sa phone book nya, from endearment to my first name, ouch..

If he suddenly becomes disinterested, malaki ang chance goodbye na next nun.

[donzski_doinks]

Ang tagal naman nya mawala sa mood. Hehe... usually kasi pag wala sa mood di ba dapat after ilang araw e balik na sa dati... e kung araw araw wala sa mood, aba parang nakakaloko na yun.

Let me share some signs that I noticed (and chose to ignore) with my ex bf.

1. He doesn't text me anymore. Pag hindi ako magtext, hindi siya magtetext. I remember, sinubukan ko di magtext talaga. Apat na araw ang inabot pero walang text talaga. Ako din ang sumuko at nagtext sa kanya.
2. Tamad mag reply. Yung tipong nagtext ka ngayon, bukas pa siya sasagot.
3. Ayaw niya makipagkita sa akin. Kesyo busy sa ganito, busy sa ganyan, next time nalang. Mga ganun.
4. Hindi sinasagot ang tawag ko.
5. Kung sagutin man nya tawag ko, yun e para pagalitan ako. Nagagalit sya pag tumatawag ako.

[angelzero]

Actually, TS mentioned all of the symptoms na  I got those symptoms myself in the past. Harsh talaga.

For the girl, it's just a matter of when to realize they are indeed break-up symptoms and just get rid of the guy already! Don't linger anymore... Many guys I know have proven that they do that on purpose so that the girl will just initiate the break-up. Para daw "gentleman-like" pa rin to let the girl break it off and not them. Douche move but it's a reality.

[Girltalker2]

TS, di ba naiinis ang co-worker mo kung di sumasagot sa text nya yung bf nya?

I think it is common courtesy na sumagot di ba? Kung hindi sumagot ng ke tagal tagal tapos pagsagot nya days after eh parang walang nangyari, hindi iyan puede palampasin. Need to ask him - why di mo sinagot text ko before? Is something wrong?

Kapag ginagawa nya iyan, e di gawin mo din sa kanya. Kung humabol man sya, di ok, sulit tiniis mo sya. Pero kung nawili, hanap ka nalang ng iba. Bf lang naman e.

[zelda]

Update: Sorry, now lang ulit nadaan sa thread. My co-worker is not really madaldal about her lovelife kaya we were surprised na biglang nagshare. Well, that's what heartbreak can do.

@Lovely_carrot: True this was the RX topic that day. I guess, listening to that ep made her realize things.

Okies, update. Well, maiksi lang kwento nya. She broke up with her bf. She tried hard naman daw to fight for him but the guy was acting not interested already. Although it breaks her heart, sya na nag-initiate. I guess, there are guys, who for the sake of bein a gentleman kuno, would rather act like a jerk than confront his gf. So, totoo rin na di lahat nang nakikipagbreak ay hindi na nagmamahal. Chos!

Anyway, break-ups always make me sad.

[purple.strawberry]

Possibly din may iba na yan.

A lot of guys are cowards and don't have the b*lls to initiate a breakup so they become cold and wait for the girl to call it quits.

^Good for your friend.

[tomatostellar]

How about symptoms from women? Or we don't do it dahil sinasabi agad?

[zelda]

Hmm good question. I think women are more into keeping the spark alive. So, we actually do things/steps to rekindle the fire. Mas given ata tayo na magbigay ng chance or time. Tama ba?

[princessgladies]

reagarding #5 Medyo madali ng uminit ang ulo. Like simple things have become major deals for him.

i've read this is one of the symptoms of cheating. although hindi naman siguro all the time yun.

while the #1-4, seems to me that the guy isn't interested or excited about the relationship anymore.

[purple.strawberry]

^^^I think pag sa women kasi nagbibigay pa ng allowance.. For example 1 month-1 year and see if things will improve. Nag-eeffort pa din. But I'm not sure if this applies to all.

[Queen Chokolah]

1. It takes him gazillion years before he replies to her messages.
2. The usual 1-hour phone call they had before at night turned into a less than 10-minute talk, mostly about their work.
3. He doesn't initiate "text exchanges" anymore.
4. When they're out, he always finds reasons to cut their "spending-time-together" short.
5. Medyo madali ng uminit ang ulo. Like simple things have become major deals for him.

etc.

yeah, these are all symptoms. though number 2 is quite normal kung medyo matagal na sa relationship. In our case, we were never that couple who telebabad. So wala akong nakitang pagbabago dito. Pero sa text, nung una walang isang oras na dadaan na walang text (kahit busy sa work), ngayon, ang text na lang, office na, lunch na, uwian na. Minsan may random things na napag uusapan. Both ways naman ganyan so okay lang. By the way, sabay kami pumasok, mag lunch at umuwi so diba. hahaha nakaka umay, magtetext pa ba?

Number 1 MAY be normal, kung busy sa work. And how long is this "gazillion years" ba? Ang lalake, kahit anong busy, pag may free time na, mag rereply at mag rereply yan. Kung dumaan na ang break at lunch na walang sagot, red flag na yun.

Numbers 3-5 are definite signs.

I agree, may mga lalake talagang hihintayin pa ang gf makipag break. What was his reaction nung nakipag break si officemate? Hulaan ko. Wala! or worse, relief. Kasi kung mahal pa nya talaga, pipigilin nya ang break up. Babawi, and everything. Pag wala syang ginawa, alam na.

[mimiku]

My ex bf was a total contrast - he was extra caring and sweet. Hatid sundo sa office kahit pagod, to the point na ako na nagsasabi na huwag na niya akong sunduin kasi nagaalala ako sa kanya. The only different about him was he never initiated to make love to me na. Noon madikit lang kami, sige go. Pero noong ayaw na niya sa akin, kahit pilitin kong magsex kami, sasabihin niya pagod siya. Yung paghatid and sundo pala niya is a sign of his guilt. Then I caught him, and that was the time that he asked for a break up. Matagal na niyang gustong gawin kaso nahihirapan siya.

I have a guy friend who was cheated on by his ex. Ganito naman ang sa babae - hindi na siya sumasagot sa tawag. Matagal bago magreply sa message. Laging busy daw sa studies. So napagod si guy friend. Hinamon niyang magbreak sila which unexpectedly tinanggap nung ex kaagad agad walang kaabog abog. Nagtext lang siya na kailangan niyang magconcentrate sa studies niya and sa board exams niya. Yada yada. Yun pala meron na siyang ibang boyfriend. Hinintay lang niyang maginitiate si guy para hindi siya ang lumabas na masama. So basing from my experience and my friend's, there is a high probability that you friend's ex bf has someone new. Naniniwala ako diyan. Hindi ka manlalamig sa mahal mo kapag wala kang pinagiinitang bago.

[zelda]

Hi girls! 
So far, I can't give any updates na. She's remained sooo quiet na after the break-up. I think she's taking her time to move on. Pero at least wala na yun sumisinghot-singhot sa office.  Wala akong balita if the guy is tryin to win her back. Baka wala talaga

Yep, I've heard of that too. Yun di manlalamig unless may pinag-iinitang bago. Sabagay if you've been for years, di ka naman magdedecide agad na "uy break na tayo." For us, girls, we talk to our guys. We let them know. Pero sa guys, ewan ko. LOL Basta ang alam ko,super sakit din daw sa ego ng guy pag yun girl ang nakipag-break sa case na mahal pa nya talaga ang girl.

[pikapika2501]

late comer lang po. gusto ko pong makahingi ng update sa post na'to. sana mabalitaan tayo ulit ate zelda, pakitanong, musta na si Ate? ano na nangyari?

ako kasi, napapabasa ako sa relationship boards specifically about breakups.

siguro, pahabol ko lang sa thead na to, di ka naman iiwan ng guy or gurl kung mahal ka nya. may mas mahal na kasi...

[khaleesiCersei]

Napaisip tuloy dun pano ba makipag break ang babae. There were A couple of times na i didn't give out symptoms kasi ang hirap makasakit d ba? So i did the disappearing act. I know that was much worse pero i didn't know how to break it off. And until now one of those exes i did that to, hate my guts hehe. And that was 10 years ago. But with my first love. After years of feeling suffocated by his love. I acted out.. i mean the usual, masungit, starting fights.. Etc.  then i cheated on him hoping he would find out but he didn't so because i was feeling guilty. I decided to give it another try, back to normal pero i knew in myself that i really wanted out. Until he cheated on me. Karma hehe. So there we broke up. Prayer answered na hindi ako ang bad guy sa story namin. He never found out about my cheating.

[Queen Chokolah]

Disappearing act din ako. hehe. But I think there was one (or two) na I told them talaga na break na kami. He wanted to talk pa, but of course I never answered his calls and texts na. He was actually begging pero that's me when wala na. Wala na talaga.

[Girltalker2]

siguro, pahabol ko lang sa thead na to, di ka naman iiwan ng guy or gurl kung mahal ka nya. may mas mahal na kasi...

Not necessarily. Puede mag break because alam mo walang patutunguhan ang relationship nyo. Say LDR, or you know he is not good enough for you and you can still find a much much better person than him.

Napaisip tuloy dun pano ba makipag break ang babae. There were A couple of times na i didn't give out symptoms kasi ang hirap makasakit d ba?

Tell him. That's the best way how to treat a person na kahit papano may pinagsamahan din naman kayo. It is simply respect sa kapwa. Mukhang hirap Pinoy mag deal sa mga ganitong bagay. Lagi nalang nawawala para hindi harapin ang problema, naduduwag, magtatago. Pero di din makatanggi, know what you want and stand firm with your decision.