Not happy with my wedding

[margasyjuco]

Hi sis! As a bride preparing for her big big day a year before it, i can just imagine the frustration id feel kung hindi din mangyari accdg to plan ang mga bagay bagay. But surely your day was happy? i agree with the other sisses to that you should tell your husband exactly how you feel. In fact i guess it's towards him you should feel super free to open up about what you feel may be "petty" for other people. To any bride, nothing is too petty and your husband will understand that. Hugs and i hope nacomfort ka namin here!

[sakura30]

I'm sorry about your wedding Sis. I don't know what to say. In time, magiging okay din yan. I understand how you feel and I don't think it's petty at all. May mild OCPD ako so I understand how even the smallest thing can be stressful pag di nasunod. It took time to plan eh tapos babaliwalian lang ng iba.

Anyway, I hope you can share it with your husband.

[tealover]

Speaking as a former bride, things will really not always go as planned. Even if you have the top suppliers, there will be sablays along the way. I wish my gown had more skin showing sa back so the back detail can be more obvious pero hindi e. Pero guests and friends say maganda talaga.

Food was superb, pero sana guests gave gifts that will more or less write off kahit the cost of the food Lang pero hindi. Lugi pa kami unlike other couples who spent less in their wedding, na mas malaki cash gifts.

Dami din late so we had to start late hindi na maximize Yung photobooth. Wedding pictures namin wala pa din kc super busy kami to choose picture. So there, wala talagang perfect. 😔

[whatswithjuly]

thanks for all your support. dito ko lang talaga sa GT nafeel na pwede ko mag-open up. thank you very much again for all the comforting words. gusto ko na rin matapos 'to and move on.

about discussing this with my hubby..i don't want to paint a bad picture of him.. but when i started to "slightly" discuss about this.. iba yun naging reaction nya. he felt that parang di ako masaya dun sa day na yun. bakit ko daw sinasabi yan ang tingin nya the event was successful. so i just stopped and decided na wag na ituloy yun usapan and asked him to forget about it. 

@bettebette: my OTD coordinator has good feedbacks. also, referral sya ng friend ko kasi bestfriend nya yun kaya talagang binilin nya na wag kami papabayaan. even that friend na nagrefer, talked to us the day after the wedding at sobrang nagsorry sya kasi she was not expecting as well..kasi kung alam nya lang di nya na daw irerefer. wala naman sya commission or anything. she used to work for that event coord kaya she witnessed how this coordinator handled weddings kaya nagulat sya sa ginawa sa akin. sobrang nag-aplogize nga sya sakin at halos di daw sya halos makatulog.nilibre nya na nga yun wedding album namin sa sobrang hiya nya sa akin (sila kasi wedding album supplier namin). happy naman ako kasi i know pinilit nya bumawi though wala naman sya kasalanan. kahit naman referral nya yun, the decision is still on us. kaya hindi ko naman sya sinisisi for what happened. unfortunately, kahit naubos ang oras ko kakabasa sa blogs, forum, etc., there are very limited info for suppliers within our area #buhayprobinsya. photog and caterer lang ang supplier namin na coming from manila because i don't want to pay OOT fee for everyone. with regards to our videographer, he's one of the best in our area kaya i can't say na hindi ako nagbasa ng reviews, or anything. yun ang masakit eh. nagresearch na ng todo.. nagtanong tanong.. but ganun pa din

[castledoll]

whatswithjuly, you can't blame your husband if he reacted the way he reacted. Kasi it's his day too and it's also his money and effort that was put in. Siguro lang he felt hurt and embarrassed that while he thought it was the bestest day ever, the feeling wasn't mutual on your part. Sa isang banda, maganda na din yung ginawa mo na you decided to open up here in GT. Do whatever you need to do para hinde ka lang masyado mag isip.

Our first videographers also did not have the best day ever. Wala sila decent videos that day. He decided that he'll be a videographer and make someone else's day memorable. something that they did not have. our first videographer did not worked out well for us kasi they filed for bankruptcy. Our second videographers had the same story, their wedding video was ruined, walang sound and static-y. Pictures lang ang meron sila nung araw na yun. And same thing, he decided to give other couples the memories that they did not have-- and I must say, they are amazing! We lost our down payment from the first videographers when they filed for bankruptcy but it did not matter. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's ok to be sad but also learn to move forward. I clicked your siggy and based on your Twitter profile picture, you're into photography. Take beautiful pictures! Create new memories. Someday, you'll find happiness and contentment like Ken, our videographer, by making other people happy.

[mooncake and leaves]

If you're not happy about your wedding, you're not. Maybe it's petty but if that's how you feel about it, it's ok. It's ok to be disappointed. Kung ang laki nga naman ng ginasta and to you, this is the one day in your life that needed to be perfect, mahirap to get over that. So acknowledge that you're unhappy. Set a deadline for until when you will indulge feeling bad. Dwell on it, be pissed, be sad. Then make your peace with it.

Also, it always helps to have something to look forward to. Maybe you can plan a trip. Or you can even plan a renewal. Part of your misery is your thinking that, that's it, you can't do it again. Maybe you can't have the exact same level of wedding production, same grand scale but you can always plan an event and it will always mean something.

The important thing is to not let this disappointment get in the way of the most important thing-- you married the love of your life. And that is all there is to it, end of the day.

[juwie]

Hi whatswithjuly, been reading this thread but I don't know what else to say kasi nasabi na lahat ng sisses natin dito lahat ng gusto ko sabihin..

But I came across this article today and I hope you'd read it. i hope it will somehow help you re-align your thoughts about your wedding:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/april-davis/2015/02/why-i-dont-regret-getting-married-but-i-regret-having-a-wedding/

[aNgelofThEMorning]

sis whatswithjuly katatapos lang din ng wedding ko, until now naiisip ko pa rin yung mga flaws nung wedding day ko. Tapos maiisip ko sana pala ganito ginawa ko etc. Hinde ka nag-iisa  hugs sis! Ginagawa ko nagfo-focus na lang ako sa magagandang nangyari nung araw na yun. Like, I thanked the Lord na si Fr. Allen ang naging priest ko pero ang kapalit nun mabilisang picture taking sa church since ang tagal ng sermon nya. I prayed for a sunny weather and binigay naman nya, malaking bagay na hinde umulan since open yung reception venue namin.

I guess there's no such thing as perfect wedding, but at least we got the privilege to walked down the aisle at nakasal tayo sa taong pinakamamahal natin

[smile22]

^yay on Fr Allen brides!

tama sis whatswithjuly nasabi na nila lahat. its your right to be frustrated and sad. this will be hard but try to focus on the positive side. this is a cliche, pero its true. focus on the fact that you are now MRS <insert hubbys last name here>. The fact that you walked down the aisle and married the man of your dreams, whatever disaster may come, yun ang panghawakan mo. it may take a while, but you know eventually we have to move on and let go. take some time off, plan a vacation and do something that you'd look forward to. that way it'll be easier to get it off. *hugs*

[castledoll]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/april-davis/2015/02/why-i-dont-regret-getting-married-but-i-regret-having-a-wedding/

very nice article!

[syzny]

 sis *hugs* yan nalang masasabi ko. i couldn't  find words to comfort you i could only imagine the horror haisst! but tulad ng sabi nila just think of the positive  sides and dun ka magfocus..

[bettebette]

ttp://thoughtcatalog.com/april-davis/2015/02/why-i-dont-regret-getting-married-but-i-regret-having-a-wedding/

Love this article! Next week na ang kasal ko and yes, super distraught na nga talaga ako lalo nat papalapit ang wedding. Sana matapos na tong wedding na to nang ma experience ko na ang married life... hirap kasi talaga.. prob na nga financial, prob pa [textspeak!] mga tao sa paligid mo. Hay.

[imprincessfiona]

^sis bettebette dont stress yourself chillax lang para radiant bride ka on your wedding day. at kung may flaws man ignore na lang, ang importante mairaos nyo ang wedding ng maayos. Congrats in advance!

[angelzero]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/april-davis/2015/02/why-i-dont-regret-getting-married-but-i-regret-having-a-wedding/

I can relate just a bit but not to the point that I regret having a wedding. It was tough. I thought I knew everything that was gonna come at me. Ang dami pang nangyaring aberya na tipong 3 weeks before the wedding I was crying to my sister. I told her this whole wedding thing is too much and I'm never gonna do something like this ever again. Everything and everyone was being difficult. I was thinking I just want to be married to the man I love! I just went back to the day we decided we want to have a wedding. Then I became calm. I accepted that not everything will be perfect. I just let go. I always found myself singing "Let It Go" during unguarded moments hehe...

I empathize with you sis whatswithjuly. I can only imagine half of what you went through. Yung mga sumablay kasi sayo mga important suppliers pa. Sa kin may mga sumablay din pero minor suppliers lang. Dun pa lang kumirot na puso ko sa pag ka disappointed. What if something even worse happened to me? baka napaiyak nako sa CR nyan sa reception. I hope you can get over this soon sis. Try to talk to a very close friend whom you think won't judge you for feeling like this. I don't think this is petty. Pinagkagastusan nyo ito and it's sort of a big deal to get married. Ok lang kung 1 or 2 suppliers messed up. Sayo kasi may mga iba pang nangyari. I understand your frustration. I'm sure even one friend of yours would feel the same. *hugs*

[belle_v2g]

sis whatswithjuly, sorry to hear about your disappointment on your wedding. just focus na lang on the positive things that happened.. according to your hubby, it's okay for him, so maybe you guys can share those beautiful thoughts together best wishes..

[Maxim04]

very nice article!

If i will interpret it parang hindi siya happy overall sa wedding, she only wants to be married.. Anyway, iba iba naman ng point of view dun sis. I agree with the article na mdaming guest na hindi kilala ng couple, but surely the couple are happy naman on the day!

Madami ako kilala personally na, mahal ang wedding, pero sabi nila, mas masaya daw kung sa honeymoon mas nagbudget. Kasi naeenjoy ninyong dalawa ang moment. Compared sa one day event na kayo ang highlight.. Sabi nila! Hehe. Pero based naman dito sa GT, madami ring satisfied sa wedding day nila. Ayun lang! Pero bakit ba tayo naghahanda in the first place, hindi naman to impress diba, to celebrate day 1 of being a married couple naman. Maybe the article just focused on the nega side ng wedding. hehe.

[castledoll]

^ True. But I guess, couple invest in wedding so they could share their happiness to the closest people in their lives. Kaya din siguro "uso" na ngayon yung wedding with minimal guests. Unlike before, especially in provinces talagang invited lahat ng kapitbahay at kamag-anak ng kapitbahay.

[myserenity]

Hi sis whatswithjuly

Let me start off by saying it's ok. Don't feel guilty for feeling that way, it's alright to be disappointed in someway. It's your wedding, you prepared for it, and you payed for it.
I understand you kasi I kind of felt that too after my wedding.
Why wouldn't I? eh
1.) mag nalalakad nalang ako sa aisle, ako pa nag uutos na they assist the sponsors, at ako pa nag pa pila sa kanila. (literal bumaba ako ng kotse and assisted)
2.) My guests were scattered all over the place.
3.) late yung dalawang bridesmaid ko reception na dumating.. and all other unfortunate disaster. (yung isa wala, hindi talaga sya nakadating)
4.) sde song ko dapat "once in a lifetime - landon austin" pinalitan ng videographer ng "home- chris daughtry" (pero inisip ko to ok lang, kamag-anak kasi ni hubby)
5.) nawalan ako ng ampao (pag review ko sa video, mukhang alam ko na sino kumuha.)
6.)yung center piece lights sa table ng female principal sponsors napunde
7.)minadali ng host yung program, di na kami nakakain ni hubby (pero ok lang kasi umulan 5 minutes after mag end yung program)
8.) hindi ako nakasama sa swimming after party, i was dead tired. (hangang 10pm lang gumana si Stresstabs)
9.) hindi na ipamigay yung giveaways
10.) my mom, brothers and sisters hindi naka-attend ng wedding ko (except 1 brother sya naghatid sakin since patay na papa ko.)
and many more ayoko nalang balikan pa.. haha (yes, sis, it was that bad.)

but guess what sis? I was sure glad it was all over.
It sure was FAR from Perfect, but I looked at the bright side of things,
I am now a Mrs. and married to my bestfriend/occasional enemy.
In the end, there was a silver lining.
I have great photos to look back to, I felt beautiful.
Tapos hindi man ako naka-kain nung wedding ko but I'm sure na satisfied ang guests ko sa pagkain.
I love my make up artist, ang galing at ma-aalaga kahit bihira sya mag weddings.
busog ang suppliers namin, ang bait ng AE ko sa catering.
yung Judge na nagkasal samin super LOVE him talaga (garden wedding kasi kami kaya judge)
RTW lang ang gown ko, hindi perfect fit, pero love ko sya.

then yung mga palpak sa kasal ko? tinatawanan ko nalang and now consider them as a lesson learned. (the hard way) I told myself na sa silver wedding anniv namin ni hubby I'll make sure alam ko na gagawin ko. You have to slowly move on sis, In a way that you'll replace the bad memories with the good, reminisce on the kilig moments on your wedding day, in short replace the bad and count all the good things.

to you my sissies, specially kay sis whatswithjuly
an inspirational qoute i live by
"I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."

have a happy life mga sis,

[imbisibol_]

kill the OTD coordinator with bad online reviews, not out of spite but to warn other couples.  earn back the money you lost.  get a quote for video editing using the song you like.  cost should not be as prohibitive because he will already have the raw files.  a talented editor can get this done beautifully.  just keep on following up with your photographer about the edited photos.  my sister-in-law never got any of her photos- raw or edited.  they are still in court fighting it out 4 years after the wedding.  the red dress and wrong headpiece are stunts pulled by people who are insecure and want the spotlight on themselves.  the disorder is on their end; not yours.  choose not to be bothered by people you can't control.  that thing on your shoulder?  brush it off. 

your wedding gown and your aura on the day of, those you can't help anymore.  i have misgivings about my wedding gown as well, but 3 years into the marriage, i haven't been really traumatically scarred.  you'll get there one day too.

BUT the defective door, i would've raised some hell about that.  if the church knew beforehand that the door was broken that they even had time to inform you about it, then they should have fixed it. it's a door, for chrissake.  how many parts does a door have: panel, hinges, what else?  a door is not an engineering feat that takes a rocket scientist to fix.  what, they never close their doors 24x7?  they're not scared of thieves?  at any rate, they should have managed it better like perhaps putting a curtain which can be drawn to reveal you when you're ready for your walk.

and yes, whatswithjuly, you can mope and pine and regret all you want here.  no one will judge you.  a bride has license and free rein to feel and be all that. 

[gi_jane101112]

awww..sis myserenity, thank you sa mga sinabi mo..i am enlightened and at the same time inspired..i know lots of things might not go on the way we like it to be on our wedding day but with what you've shared, i am sure that we, bride to be's will be equipped and prepared for the unfortunate things..gaya ng shinare mo, ang importante we marry the man that we love the most..