Problems you encounter while preparing for your wedding (Part 6)

[bzbee]

Sis bzbee, my coord advised me na wag muna magorder ng crew meal in advance. Usually caterers have 10% buffers and since we had guests na hindi dumating, sa suppliers na lang pinakain. In case daw di kasya buffet for suppliers dapat si coord na magestimate ilan ang iorder for the suppliers meal during reception. However, Im not sure if pwede to sa well known caterers like KbyC, Hizon's, etc.

thanks sis! confirm ko ito with my coordinator and caterer. medyo confused kasi ako. sayang naman kasi [textspeak!] bayad sa crew meals kung d makakain, mahal din yun, or baka magutom naman ang suppliers pag hindi na pala kasya sa buffet.

[aNgelofThEMorning]

One thing I realized after my wedding, guests problems arise when we chose guests that are not really that close to the couple. Sila yung walang concern at nagta-take for granted. Yung mga hinde dumating nung wedding, late nagsabi na hinde na makakapunta, totally dedma bat hinde nakapunta. Sila yung mga hinde talaga namin ganun ka-close pero need invite. Boss ni hubby, ininvite ng parents ni groom at mga nakakahiya pag hinde ininvite.

[j.adore]

Kaya din siguro dumadami ang intimate weddings kasi ganyan talaga mangyayari if you invite non-close persons.

[donya_dyosa]

sa guests namin may team a and team b.
team a muna sinabihan namin, tapos sa team b.nagsabi rin ako ansabi ko shortlisted sila.... I told them wait kami ng relatives from abroad na di makakauwi na magcacancel ng seat. (best way to say na reserve lang sila) pati gfs at bfs at anak ng nasa team a sabi ko shortlisted rin.. nung nagcancel na yung iba (unfriended din on fb lol) now ok na lahat naipasok ko na ang team b ko.. day before the wedding... isang abay nagkabulutong. yung abay na yun sa table number 8 together with the whole college barkada ni husband. ayun hindi narin nagsipunta isang mesa rin yun.. how much rin ang perang nasayang nila... nakakainis sila. ang pinagawa ko sa caterer yung isang table di ko na pinasetup para di halatang bakante gee arr arr.

[blackgreen]

Na-sstress ako sa family ni h2b. Nag-comment wag daw namin ipapakita sa mga relatives nila na may mga seats reserved lang at ma-ooffend daw. Eh anong gusto nila mag-baloon guests namin eh hindi naman kaya i-accommodate ng venue? One of the major reasons nga kung bakit kami nag destination wedding dahil ayaw namin ng super daming tao tapos ngayun eto kakaalam ko lang ang dami na daw nag self invite sa wedding namin. Meron na nga wedding dun sa province nila to accommodate the family relatives na lahat gusto pumunta sa kasal, sana naman respetuhin nila yun kagustuhan namin na ayaw madaming tao sa wedding. Hay naku..

[sparklingjewel]

One thing I realized after my wedding, guests problems arise when we chose guests that are not really that close to the couple. Sila yung walang concern at nagta-take for granted. Yung mga hinde dumating nung wedding, late nagsabi na hinde na makakapunta, totally dedma bat hinde nakapunta. Sila yung mga hinde talaga namin ganun ka-close pero need invite. Boss ni hubby, ininvite ng parents ni groom at mga nakakahiya pag hinde ininvite.

Thank you sooo much for this piece of advice. I had to show fiance. Going to convince him to keep our wedding intimate and lessen those guests of his (parents) that we don't even know!

[caleeice]

Hi sis blackgreen, maybe you can ask your h2b to nicely discuss things with his family. Be firm when you say that you want to keep the number of guests at a certain number. That's what we did. Both our parents inaaway kami noon bakit ang onti ng guests. My fiancé would nicely tell his mom that we just want to keep it intimate and besides we'll have 2nd and 3rd celebrations where we can invite everybody else. It worked on his side, pero mine, lagi pa rin kami nag-aargue ng parents ko about it. I've cried buckets of tears over the guest list issue, but I remained firm and told them this is the max number of guests you can invite.

If that doesn't work on his side, maybe you can ask the help of a Tita who can talk to his parents about it. My Tita talked to my parents last weekend because I'm super stressed out na. My parents listened to her. So maybe that can help in your case

[120515]

hi blackgreen, i agree with caleeice, you should talk to both your fiance and his parents about your request to have a small wedding. i also think it would be good for you to take a break from your wedding preparations - maybe a week or two of not having to talk about it at all with anyone and just focus on yourself or do some stress-relieving exercises 

[blackgreen]

Thank you sis caleeice and 120515. Actually mula nung makapagdownpayment kami sa lahat ng suppliers dina muna ako nag-aasikaso ng sa wedding preps. Pero dahil mas mauuna yun wedding namin sa province nila kaya paminsan minsan may mga tinatanong or inaask sila sa amin. Like kahapon kaya ako super na-stress dahil inaask nila yun full names ng relatives ko na ilalagay sa invite so sabi ko ke h2b ipakita yun draft invite namin for October wedding para if ever di magkaroon ng similarity, tapos ayun nga nagcomment na sila na wag ipakita yun seats reserved, etc.

If hindi pa rin sila mapasunod ni h2b kahit kausapin nila, I will talk to them. Nag-agree kasi kami ni h2b na si h2b ang makikipag-usap since iba mag-isip family niya. Tsaka ayaw niya na isipin ng family niya na ako lang may gusto nito kasi we have a feeling na yun na iniisip nila.

Sabi ko nga ke h2b, I stood on our ground with my relatives nung sila ang nag-cocomment na imbitahin si ganito si ganyan, kaya I expected na siya rin kaya niya kausapin family niya.

If hindi pa rin mag-work, I think I will try your advise sis caleeice na I will ask for help from a Tita. Maybe I will ask one of my Auntie na kausapin parents niya na eto ang gusto namin.

[caleeice]

Sis blackgreen, yes stand your ground. Kailangan kasi maging firm tayo, especially with guest list. Otherwise, we won't be able to properly manage the number of guests if we allow our parents/relatives to invite everybody they want. For me, this is one of the most stressful parts of wedding preps. As in! Ako, ilang beses na talaga akong umiyak because of stress over this. Hehe!

About the Tita/Tito, better siguro if relative ni h2b mo, so his parents/relatives will listen and understand where you're coming from. Kapag side mo kasi, baka magkaroon pa ng bad blood pa between both sides.

[belle_v2g]

Isa pang mahirap tanggihan are the relatives na may kasamang bata.. or PS na may mga anak.. na nakakahiyang tanggihan or PS na may PLUS 2 (plus 2 agad) na di ko kilala at all. dilemma of a bride to be.

[blackgreen]

^^diyan ata ako sis mahihirapan. Ang kumausap ng Tita na papanig sa gusto namin. Dahil lahat sila against na magpakasal kami ng small and intimate lang. Kaya nga nagkaroon ng wedding sa province nila to give in to his family and relatives wants. Super nakakastress talaga. Gustong gusto ko na nga sumagot sa kanila na lahat na pinakialaman nila sa wedding. Una gusto lang nila magkaroon ng traditional doon, ngayun lumalabas mas bongga pa yun wedding dun sa province nila kesa sa gusto namin na wedding. (I have nothing against them kung mas bongga pa wedding dun pero pinagbigyan na nga namin sila na magkaroon dun wag na nila pakialaman yun gusto namin na wedding)

Sis belle, grabe talaga yun mga guests na ganyan. Nakakaiyak sa inis!

[belle_v2g]

Ang coordinator ko ang shock absorber ko sis. Sa kanya ako nagrereklamo lol!!!

[bzbee]

sis belle yung mga plus 1 (or in your case, plus 2) ba ng mga PS kailangan nasa VIP table din? OMG wag naman sana. nahirapan nga din ako sa kids kasi right now we have 30 kids sa guest list namin. iniisip ko pa lang naiiyak na ko kasi sobrang gulo nun. kung ako nga lang masusunod ayoko na ng kids sa wedding pero hindi daw pwede sabi ni h2b.

[caleeice]

Sis blackgreen, maybe your h2b can help. He might know someone from his family who can help. The Tita who talked to my parents is someone who went through RSVP woes herself. She was one of the organizers of our grandparents' 70th wedding anniversary. Having been there herself, she understands what I am going through right now, so she explained that to my parents.

If wala talaga, then let h2b talk to his family and explain everything until they understand. If they don't, hayaan na lang, but stand your ground. For me kasi, I compromised with future in-laws with small things, but I remained firm with the non-negotiable stuff.

Sis belle and bzbee, my dad was the one who talked to our relatives about the kids. He told them adults' affair ito, so the kids can come during our 3rd celebration na lang. Maybe any of your parents can help with that. Sa PS, wala masyadong magawa. Ako, I had to accommodate plus 3 pa nga. Hinayaan ko na lang kasi they will be flying from U.S. So that's my way of thanking them na lang for the effort.

Hay nako, basta very stressful talaga usapang guest list. Pero maayos din yan one way or another. Hehe.

[belle_v2g]

We have similar situation sis caleeice. My ninang is flying from Australia too. Nasa Philippines sya last month but then babalik sya dito then uuwi ulit sa wedding ko.. di ba nakakahiya naman kung tanggihan ko ang plus 2 nya.. compare sa expenses nya just to attend our wedding.
Sis bzbee no sis.hindi ko nilagay sa vip.. yung mga plus 2 ng dalawang PS nasa Table 20..last table. Lol!! (But true) nilagay ko sa dulo kase di ko sila kilala.

[caleeice]

Yes, wala na tayong pwede magawa in cases like that sis belle. Hehe. So I just found other names to remove bwahaha! Those who didn't reply to our messages in FB have been purged from the list. 

Ang plus 3 ng VIP namin will be seated elsewhere. Hehe. Only the spouse will be seated together with the VIP

[blackgreen]

Yes sis caleeice, kelangan talaga maipaintindi ni h2b etong gusto namin mangyari. Bago kasi sa kanila ang ganito sa wedding, pag wedding sa kanila kelangan bongga, kelangan lahat invited. Eh hindi nga ganun gusto namin. Ang hirap ba intindihin yun? Hayy.. Eto talaga pinaka-stressful sa wedding preps. Ilang beses na namin sinabi sa kanila na ang venue namin limited number lang sila etong hindi makaintindi.

Help mga sis, anong gagawin ko if marami pa rin pumunta sa wedding namin na nag self invite kahit ba destination wedding na kami? Hindi kaya i-accommodate ng venue namin ang super daming tao. Kaya nga eto napili namin kasi gusto namin intimate lang.

[imprincessfiona]

Based on my experience out of 100 guests that I invited, only 80 guests came. Yung iba the day before nagsabi na hindi makakarating. Good for us kasi di kami nag-exceed at nagbayad ng extra. Sa renewal of vows destination wedding na para immediate fam lang ang kasama at very intimate sya. Sa bagay 80 guest naman intimate na yun. We invited close fam and friends only. Wala naman gate crashers or uninvited guests.

[belle_v2g]

I'm still waiting for other guests to back out e.. hahaha I'll start sending messages to them this week.