Moving on and starting a new life

[ejxtwo]

Hi GTs! I just want to know what are your "opinions" in my situation.

Here's a short backstory. 2014 was the worst year for me. My ex-husband left me and my daughter because may una na pala syang family. I was pregnant with twins that time. Then, I lost my kids. My daughter committed suicide maybe because hindi na nya kaya yung mga nangyari sa family namin and yung isang twin ko died because of complications. Nag-hiwalay na kami ni ex-hubby, okay na din yung case namin re our marriage. Hindi ko kinasuhan si ex-hubby, we became friends until now. Right now I have an 8-month old son.

Then there's this guy... Matagal na kaming magkakilala, he was there for me during the times na sobrang down ako. Last Valentine's, he admitted that he loves me. He is willing to wait naman daw and accepted naman nya yung son ko. I like him, he makes me happy, but of course natatakot na ako. There are people telling me na bigyan ko sya ng chance because bata pa naman daw ako, meron namang hindi in favor, may nagsabi malandi daw ako... I really don't know but syempre number one priority ko yung son ko. I keep asking myself kung dapat pa ba ako pumasok sa relationship, kung ready na ba talaga ako, kung masyado bang mabilis yung mga pangyayari, pangit ba tignan kung magkaka-"boyfriend" ako after what happened and a lot more.

What do you think, sissies? Opinion lang naman. Thank you soooo much!!

[17glut]

^to answer your question, no, don't get into another relationship. You like the guy kamo so why not just settle to remain as good friends na lang? we all know a stable friendship goes much, much longer than a bf/husband. You just miss the companionship of having someone next to you when you wake up in bed pero are you willing to go through the same trauma as you've had before? you can take your chances with him and no one here is going to stop you pero think about it, if you were really sure na you wanna be with this guy, you would have gone to already in the first place.

[ejxtwo]

Thanks for your reply, sis 17glut! I really appreciate it.

[Girltalker2]

Sis, good to hear from you. I thought familiar nga ang nick mo.

Anyway, for now, i-enjoy mo muna baby mo. Think about your 'ideal' guy and ano ano ba mga characteristics na gusto mo sa isang partner - at alin dyan ang negotiable at non negotiable.

Of course I'm sure pangarap mo rin naman to be with someone someday, so it is not wrong to think about the future. Kaso siguro now dapat mo gamitin din ang utak mo (not only heart) in such decisions kasi di lang Ikaw ang involved, pati anak mo.

Aside from asking ano klase ideal guy mo. You can also be friends muna with this guy and see if makapasa sya sa criteria mo. So take it slowly sana, the fact that you're bothered pa sa sasabihin ng ibang tao, that just means you're not yet ready to be in a relationship. For single moms, tingin ko imoortant na once you have a bf, you need to be sure at serious relationship iyan. Pov ko lang naman kasi mahirap na makilala ng mga bata sino sinong partner habang lumalaki sila, baka sila mismo eh malito.

Good luck sis and I wish this year and the years to come would be much much better for you!

[LGV]

I agree sa kanila sis. Nabasa ko na ang story mo sa other thread. I was also a single mom before and it took time for me na pumasok ulit sa isang serious relationship. I can say na kung nagmadali ako baka failed relationship ulit ang mangyayari. Right now I thank God everyday na mas naging okay ang buhay ko.

Okay yan na may nagpapasaya sayo pero hindi kailangan agad agad ng relasyon, if he really loves you Im sure makakaya ka nyang hintayin as soon as maging ready ka. Sa ngayon masyado pang maaga para masabi mong moved on ka na talaga, who are we to judge anyway? But, you have to take it easy. Enjoy nyo lang yung moments and kung talaga namang meant kayo whatever happens, kahit gaano pa katagal kayo bandang huli. Mahirap yung pinagdaanan mo, hindi ka lang basta naiwan ng asawa. Yung pagkawala ng kids mo hindi din biro yung mga naging reasons why they were out of your life now so you need a lot of time siguro sis. Nasasayo parin if susunod ka sa advise namin basta when in doubt, pray hard.

[freelancer_babe]

I could just imagine what you have gone through with regards to your loss.

It's actually good to have a friend who is there in times of your trouble and to help you with your recovery. But think well... like others mentioned above, don't enter yet into a relationship with your guy friend. Kasi there are guys na ume-eksena kapag nakita nilang down ang isang girl, they take advantage of the situation na vulnerable ang girl kasi kailangan nila ng "to-go" guy kapag malungkot sila, then these guys go for the "kill" (that is, they finally say they have feelings).

So ayun! Lumabas rin ang motibo nung lalake. Pagmamahal ang hanap kapalit ng pagiging nandoon siya kapag malungkot ka.

Take your time sis. May mas priority pa kesa sa relationship mo. Like others mentioned, alagaan mo muna ang kids mo. Mukhang they all need the attention kasi ang tragic din naman kasi ng nangyari (as your daughter decided to take her life away).

Also, since you are asking people about entering a relationship - seems like it's pretty much obvious that you are not ready for one.

[ejxtwo]

Hi sissies! Thank you very much for your all the advice 😄

My guy friend and I already talked about "us", and he's willing to wait naman daw. Feeling ko tuloy bagets na bagets ako lol! In God's perfect time siguro. I should focus to my son muna before anything/anyone else. Many many thanks again sissies!