Living with the in laws

[120515]

thanks for the tip! i have been monitoring my cycle through an app, to better understand myself

[lalawhoopsy]

parang sabi ni Vice Ganda kanina don sa audience na nagtanong para sa AdviceGanda- Kung nakikitira ka sa magulang matuto ka sumunod at makinig sa magulang mo, dahil alam nila kung anong mabuti para sayo. kung kaya mo ng mamuhay ng solo ng di umaasa bakit ka pa nakikitira. At dahil nga sa nakikitira ka sa kanila,parang pinatunayan mo sa magulang mo na di mo pa kayang mag isa..

Those are not the exact words pero related ito sa mga nakikitira sa parents na may pamilya na. Pero nasa 20's lang yung kausap naman niya. Nag sink in lang sa utak ko kasi naalala ko mabuti kami ng hubby ko kahit umuupa lang di kami nakikitira. Yun nga bumisita ka sa kanila may ilang di ka nagustuhan,yun pang araw araw kasama? Kaya masaya ako kahit na umuupa lang kami malayo kami sa kanila, malayo sa gulo haha!

Naalala ko sana nanood kanina sa Showtime yung bilas ko at bayaw kasi mga free loaders kay MIL mga yon tapos mga di nakikisama. mga walang trabaho sila pa itong choosy. Oo nga naman ikaw itong nakikitira gusto mo ikaw pa ang pakikisamahan eh wala naman sila ma-contribute kahit 1 basong bigas buti sana kung may mga trabaho.

[juwie]

I saw my SILs live here in our house before and I must say medyo naawa ako sa kanila. Not because masama ang parents ko sa kanila but because hindi sila makagalaw ng mabuti, nahihiya, etc. So I try to make them as comfortable as possible, living with us.

[mrs_mcta]

Right after the wedding, we stayed with my family for about a week. We've been married for 1 year and 4 months and we live in my husband's house (with his parents and brothers - siya pa lang ang married). Bagong tayo yung house nila and we were in mind when my MIL was having the house built. We're both very thankful that mabait ang in laws ko kase to be blunt about it, hindi naman kame pinapaalis. Hubby started a business of his own and it helps him and us that we don't pay for rent kase we need all the money we can get to invest in the business. I'm just thankful everyday that my in laws are nice.

[gil12]

Pasensya na, I'm here to rant. We've been living with my in laws for 2 years na. Actually, mas nabbwisit ako sa asawa ko. We have a source of income, meron kaming pinapa-rent na house and condo unit so kahit papano may pumapasok naman pera. Ilang beses ko kinakausap asawa ko na dapat magstart na kami ng business para may isa pa kaming source of income. Dami ko nang sinuggest sa kanya, oo naman siya ng oo pero walang nasisimulan. Tinutulungan ko naman siya, lagi ako nagssuggest kaso hindi siya kumikilos. We're lucky kasi well off naman talaga ang in laws ko, sila pa nga tumutulong pa rin samin financially kahit na okay naman kami. My husband is getting too comfortable with the set up and nabbwisit na ko. The reason why we're living with my in laws kasi nakakabuti sa kanila dahil nandito apo nila, yung son ko. Ang sakin lang, I really want to move out and have our own place ASAP. Fear ko kasi na baka kapag tumagal pa kami nakikitira dito, bigla ako mahirapan mag budget kapag bumukod na kami. Isa pa, nakakawalan ng gana dito sa bahay. Wala kaming privacy. My in laws enter our room without knocking, dire-diretso lang sila. Minsan pa naiisip ko, my in laws doesn't believe na kakayanin naman mamuhay ng nakabukod sa kanila. Tapos, saka ko na-realize na sobrang may pagka mama's boy asawa ko, he doesn't make any decisions without consulting my mother in law. Hayy

[hyder0926]

i have been living with my inlaws since i gave birth. i used to live in Makati where i work and i transferred to QC as they requested.

thinking back they offered me to live with them sa rented unit nila kase ayaw nila makisama anak nila at hinde pa kami kaya buhayin ng asawa ko nun.

at that time i was living with hubby's siblings. 1 boy and 1 girl and MIL pero based talaga sya sa province and 1 maid.

after almost 2 yrs they siblings moved out to live with their own partners. parang kami ang care-taker ng apt while the inlaws are in the province or ngayon out of the country.

siempre nakikisama ako and  i move around. its best that you do things on your own na hinde asa sa maid kahit available sila para wala masabi. its true that lahat may comment whether you live the inlaws or not. libre naman un opinion eh. i cook, clean, do the laundry and other stuff pag kailangan. we share in the utilities now because we have our AC, share din kami sa internet at cable. food naman is kanya-kanya. i retreat to our room most of the time kase hinde sila pasok ng rm namin.

iba-iba nga lang ugali at moods ng tao so dun ako hirap mag adjust. iba din kase training at palaki sakin so eto major issues ko. like respeto, clean ups at gamit ng common stuff. i just make it a pt not to throw my weight around because im was not raised that way. but i dream of moving out soon or sila move away.. haha

[donzski_doinks]

dati nakatira kami ni hubby with his family. wala akong problem kay MIL kasi she is super bait lagi pa naka-kampi sa akin tapos hindi din siya pakialamerang biyenan. pag nag-aaway kami ni hubby, never sya nakikialam. ang naging problem ko lang doon is yung SIL ko. masyado siyang bossy. hindi ko talaga kinaya ugali nya so when my father asked me nung 2013 if I want to study again (BSBA grad na ako but I wanted to pursue a career in teaching) I grabbed that opportunity and moved out of their house. tumira naman kami ni hubby with my mom (papa is working abroad), 4 bros and 1 sis. akala ko magiging okay since they are my family kaso hindi din pala. si mama, pakialamera. pag nag-argue kami ni hubby, lagi siya nakikialam. hindi naman siya sinasagot ni hubby kasi mabait si hubby, ako yung madalas sumagot pag nakikialam na sya.

then May last year, nagka-work si hubby and i also started teaching sa private school, gumaan ng konti buhag namin. nakaipon kami ng konti ni hubby. enough to rent our own place. heaven yung may sarili kang lugar. gawin mo kahit ano gusto mo wala makikialam. so the best pa din talaga for me yung nakabukod.

eto share ko lang, my MIL passed away last Feb.13... i just felt so guilty. had I known na di na pala siya magtatagal, di ko n sana inilayo anak nya. paborito pa naman nya si hubby. nung umalis kami doon malakas pa sya e, tapos early 2014 nanghina na sya. naging bed ridden. nakaka-guilty. had I known lang talaga... kaso sabi nga ni hubby, wala naman daw nakakaalam na hanggang dun nalang mother nya...

[blushberry]

If makikitira ka sa in laws, you will really need to adjust and do what they want and expect you to do kasi nakikitira ka lang.  If you feel strongly about certain things, you have to work and make sure may money ka na nga to live on your own whether ikaw yung guy or yung girl dahil sa panahon ngayon, hindi nalang naman inaasa lahat sa guy.  Kung hindi mo  kaya mag adjust sa in laws mo, don't get married and since you are, matuto ka to appreciate what you have and respect your husband.

[mikaela325]

My in laws live with us for a few weeks in a year dito sa Manila kapag wala silang pasok sa work. In a couple of years mapapadalas sila sa pag stay sa amin after they retire. They have a big house sa province and dun kami tumutuloy pag nagbabakasyon dun. I don't know kasi it's hard to make a reason not to allow them to live in our house pag nasa Manila naman sila. Mababait sila and my kids love them. They're like second parents to me na din. Sa budget it's not a problem kasi their sweldo/pension are more than enough for them and my husband is a very good provider to me, our kids and our extended families.

[kikaygimikera]

Sis, we stayed at our inlaws house for a year. Mabait sila pero eventually makikita ang differences. Hindi ka makakagalaw ng gusto mo eh. Like ako, Im used to waking up with our helpers around, who makes my bed, fixes my clothes. Pero sa inlaws ko, obviously wala. Konting magising lang sila ng mas maaga sayo, pwede kang sabihan ng "tamad". They have helpers pero hindi yung personal helper mo and you cannot ask for their help (unless friends na kayo), kasi iisipin nila hindi ka nila amo. Pero our lives there are far more easier and relaxed kasi may taga - luto, laba, etc. You dont have to pay the bills din. Pero kapag lalabas ako ng bahay, parang anak lang nila ako na they need to know where I am going and hindi pa ako nakakarating sa pupuntahan ko, they will call me what time I am going home. Eh I am used to doing things on my own. I know nakikisama ka but there are times na papasok si MIL sa room eh nagpapahinga ka na. Or there are times you just dont want to talk to anyone pero maingay sa bahay. And I am used to having a big breakfast everyday pero --- sa inlaws ko, they dont eat breakfast. Ayun, ang hirap magluto kasi hindi mo alam if you are going to cook for one lang or for everyone. I tried cooking for everyone tapos wala namang kumain.

5 pala sila sa house inc. helpers.

[sarsingkit]

When I moved in with my husband, we have to live with his family first. So parents yun and 2 siblings. Ok naman. It took about 8 months before we finally moved to our own place. Basta, ang sakin lang, hindi ko naman bahay yun so pinapakiramdaman ko lang kung ano yung mga rules nila sa house. I make extra effort sa chores. Nag-ooffer ako lagi maghugas ng plato, maglinis, etc,. Kung may nasasabi man si MIL, laging sa amin pareho ni hubby. Syempre may mga times na hindi ka makagalaw ng maayos diba. Lagi ako umuuwi ng maaga nun unless kami ni hubby ang magkasama. Hindi ako makapanood ng gusto ko sa tv pero I try to watch tv with my MIL. Sya lang kasi nanonood ng tv. The  2 siblings lagi lang nasa kwarto. Nafeel ko naghahanap ng kasama MIL ko kasi nga may tao sa bahay pero lagi naman nasa kwarto. So sinasamahan ko sya manood ng tv kahit hindi naman talaga ako nanonood ng Ch2. Kunwari na lang gusto ko din si Kris Aquino. Hehe. Kahit paulit ulit na topic eh nakikipag chika ako sa kanya. Hindi ko nga alam kung napapansin nya na puro skin care saka showbiz na lang pinag-uusapan namin eh. Hehe

I would say ok naman naging relationship namin kaya no bad blood nung lumipat na kami ng bahay. Tinulungan pa kami ng in laws to move. Hindi ko masasabi na close kami pero at least maayos relationship namin.

[candhie]

we are living with my inlaws for 5 years and so far naman ok naman... siguro dahil mabait nanay niya.. asikaso kami sa food... natutuwa pa pag pinagbabaon niya ako ng food sa office...

minsan lang ang rant ko, pag umaalis kami ni hubby at kate na umuuwi or pag may lakad ako na ginagabi ako, nahihiya lang ako...