please delete

[Mai]

Hi sis, di ko
Nabasa all comments of other girltalkers, but based on your post, i have the impression that your husband feels inferior, insecure sa yo, and that alone nag rereflect na sa financial aspect (you having a house of your own, kaya nag memention pa sya na gusto nya makabili house--what for?! E meron ka na nga) proves na di okay sa kanya na tumira kayo sa house "mo". Tapos di ka pa dependent sa kanya for financial reasons, you can buy your own things.
Now, para magka harmonious relationship kayo,  it is up to you if you can live with the character of your husband, play with it, ang key sa ganyan e pa feel important mo sya, pa feel superior mo sya, etc. kung kaya mo hehe kase ako di ko kaya pero yan kase ang tamang ipayo, useless ipilit natin sarili/character natin na maintindihan ng husband... Because they won't.

[j.adore]

what if magloko siya ulit? -- Could this be it? He's doing it again and he's acting out by raising concerns about money and neglecting his family?
Kung hindi man, baka none of you have moved on from it? Like you don't trust him enough for him to have access to your money kaya siya ganyan.

Sa initiative sa anak niyo, baka pwede mo siya i-"force" by dividing the tasks related to your child. Let's say ikaw ang gumawa ng ganito ngayon, siya naman next time para fair and hopefully mabuild yung habit from there.

Sa iyo naman, I see you're an independent woman so maybe he doesn't feel needed so he doesn't bother anymore. Try mo kaya magpaka damsel-in-distress minsan hehe. Make him your knight in shining armor or depend on him for something.

Pwede rin na it's because he doesn't have any say in the decisions - house, family (child niyo), business, money, lifestyle, etc. You involve him pero ending, yung preference mo o kaya yung "PRO" sayo ang pipiliin niyo.

Agree ako sayo na since meron nang bahay, walang point na kumuha pa ng isa pa. Kung walang sentimental value yang bahay, pwede din option na pagawa siya tapos benta niyo yung current house o kaya parent. Or how about him getting a new house for investment or vacation house?
Parang find a way to compromise or meet halfway sa gusto niyo.

Yung sa business, given na kasi kailangan ka diyan and I also agree that you shouldn't give it up because that's your father's life's work.
Ang hirap naman magcompromise dito sa point na ito kung ikaw yung magaling magnegosyo at siya magaling sa corporate world. Baka kailangan lang ng validation for you guys to stick with what you know. Unless sawa na siya sa ginagawa niya at gusto niya magswitch kayo? Baka inggit kasi mas may free time ka?

Sa expenses, hindi kaya he never bothered kasi hindi naman kailangan? Provided na kasi ng business eh o kaya baka feel niya maliit lang source of income niya compared sa family business niyo.

About sharing money, medyo torn ako dito.
On one hand, it should be fair since both of you are earning money. Doesn't necessarily have to be same amount pero you can make it percentage depending on the difference in income (meron sa internet na formula proposal di ko lang sure kung ay Oprah ko ba nakita yun or what).
On the other other, kailangan nga yung sense of security if he's cheated on you before. Siguro make them "AND" accounts or what.

May I ask pala how was your Valentine's Day? Do you guys celebrate it even before? I wanted to get a feel kasi yung pakitungo sayo.

Another suggestion para di magkagulatan na may issue pala, you can set a monthly date/dialogue with your husband. Questions to ask each other: masaya ka ba? may dapat ba baguhin (and what? how?)? Like a checkpoint of your relationship.

Nakatulong ba ito o nanggulo lang hehe. Hope it will turn out well for everyone!

[Girltalker2]

Sis, why once a week lang ang time nya with you?

Malamang pagod nga sya and he just wants to relax. You can make plans din if you want to talk to him, like schedule a dinner date na kayong dalawa lang para makapag usap kayo.

You have to tell him - may serious kang topic na kailangan mo sa kanya i-discuss.
Sometimes kasi kahit kating kati ka na to discuss an issue, timing is still important in terms of having an open discussion with him, especially kung hindi nyo madalas iyan gawin.

[Girltalker2]

^ I see. So you have to plan in advance. Tell him it is important you talk.
 

[glamorosa_09]

Sis, if you want to give your marriage an overhaul or a total makeover, you could try reading the Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. Just pick the principles that you think are applicable to your situation. It will guide you on what to do first.

Marriage is somewhat like playing table tennis. If you keep on using the same stroke, your husband will  respond in his own stroke consistently. However, if either one of you will use a different stroke for a change, the other one will respond differently from his/her previous response. This is how you view the marriage dynamics. If one will change, the other will also change. Unless na lang if your partner has a character problem na kahit kumain ka ng apoy, the marriage will not change.

Another suggestion para di magkagulatan na may issue pala, you can set a monthly date/dialogue with your husband. Questions to ask each other: masaya ka ba? may dapat ba baguhin (and what? how?)? Like a checkpoint of your relationship.

Siguro what I can add about this is, use these regular dates to update each other of your individual lives. Actually kahit hindi sa formal dates. Like you can share things about what made you excited, stressed, new discoveries, etc. The goal is to maintain the friendship and increase quality time with each other.

 When you and your husband have a solid friendship, mas manageable yung ibang aspect ng marriage. If you're great friends, you can communicate from trivial to deeper matters. Pag strong ang communication, mag-mamanifest ito sa conflict resolution ninyo or with working around things that can't be changed. Pag walang masyadong stressing conflicts or hidden resentments dahil free flowing ang communication nyo, madaling maging emotionally intimate.

With regards to infidelity, I noticed that you were not entertaining questions thrown at you about it. The couples I know who have experienced this, would usually try to make up in the best way that they can, especially the wayward spouse.

But anyways, since you're the one who is more aware, and you very well know that you cannot change your husband, ikaw na lang  siguro yung mag-initiate ng change. You can try the book, and see if it's for you.

[quinone]

baka you can make more time? can you cut office hours? maybe 1-2 days a week he can take a cab, or something like that, papuntang office niya tapos fetch him from work and have dinner out?

[Girltalker2]

^ puede, assuming hubby is willing to cancel his daily night outs/gym/basketball or kung anuman. According to TS, once a week lang libre hubby nya.

[tjmax]

Or pwedeng idagdag na magcoffee sa bahay pag tulog na ang baby nyo? para me alone time everyday.