Help re: my cheating (almost) father-in-law

[iguessiamasimplejane]

Hello, this is my first post here.. I hope someone would be kind enough to give me an objective advice about my concern. thanks in advance.

So, first things first. This is my current setup para mas maintindihan niyo ang sitwasyon ko:

I am living at my boyfriend's house with his family because I am pursuing my after grad studies. Mas malapit kasi yung bahay nila sa school na pinapasukan ko and I also had my own issues at home (which is of course, another topic, so let's skip that.)

My boyfriend and I are in an long distance relationship 'cause he's working abroad and ipinagkatiwala nya ko sa family nya nung umalis sya. Lucky enough, hindi naman din nagdalawang isip na patuluyin ako ng pamilya niya sa tahanan nila.

My relationship with his family went well naman except for some minor concerns, until that very time I heard all the truth firsthand.

I was supposed to go back home right after Christmas break from my close friends' house. E kaso nagaway kami ni bf that I decided to extend my vacation longer. Of course, nagalala yung fam ni bf kasi hindi ko masabi na he almost broke up with me that time. But nung I had enough courage na, I informed them of our situation, and was glad naman na they're praying for us to work things out.

So nagkaayos naman kami and I decided to go back home na. Pagdating ko sa bahay, nadatnan ko si FILaw (father-in-law) and he was surprised that I went back there. He asked me how I was doing, what happened to me and his son, blahblah that I just realized I couldn't answer him straightaway and that I started crying na. So as a fatherly response, he hugged me and kiss me on the cheek to comfort me. (medyo awkward~) But then when I had enough courage to speak na, I assured him na okay na kami.

Then after the dramatic reunion, sabi nia sakin, "Nak, me ikukuwento ako sayo." Sabi ko, ano po yun. Then he answered, "Kaso baka ikwento mo ke ate mo (bf's sis) magagalit yun tsaka sasabihin nia din kay *** (bf). I responded, ano po ba yun? because I did not expect na what he'll tell me next is something I would regret knowing from then on.

He started confessing to me that he's womanizing. He told me the name, where the b1tch lives, what he likes most about her, and so on and so forth. He even told me how they met, what they did in private (ugh. so graphic that my ears were bleeding while I pretended that I cared listening to him) and even the fact that he bought a Robust one time and that he even dared that b1tch na magpakasal sa knya.

My heart was racing and I was in disbelief while hearing those confessions from FILaw. I was really struggling how not to be angry and disgusted at him (well, until now...)

So I gave him a chance. Naisip ko kasi na baka nagsisisi na sya. Kaya what I did nung una is syempre to totally discourage him from his deed. Na mali yung ginagawa nia, and obviously, piniperahan lang sya nung b1tch. I also told him na hindi sya aaalagaan nung b1tch for sure lalo na pagnagkasakit na sya unlike ng family nia which is tried and tested na dahil sila din ang umaruga sa kanya nung nagkasakit sya few years ago.

Nung mga araw na yun, I thought narealize nya yung mga sinabi ko. Kaso after a few days din, balik na naman sya sa babae nia dahil nalaman ko, nag-LQ lang pala sila kaya yung pagkakaconfess nya sakin that time e me halong galit sa b**** nya, and pagsisisi pa na mali nga un and that he agreed that hindi nya na daw itutuloy pa yung pambababae nia.

Actually nagsisisi ako bakit ko pa sya tinanong kung ano yung gusto niang ikwento sakin. But I felt that even when I didn't ask him, he's still more than willing to share his secrets with me.

Nakakaguilty lang talaga nang sobra kasi sobrang bait ni MIL (mother-in-law) sakin as well as kay FILaw.  Ang hirap tumingin ng diretso kay MIL sa twing naguusap kami nang hindi ko naiisip na iniiputan na sya sa ulo ng asawa nya. Lalo na sa boyfriend ko. Haaay. Feeling ko naiipit ako sa sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin masabi sa mga ate nya kasi panigurado magkaka-world war 3 and mapapalayas si FILaw. BTW, FILaw is already 60yo now and is not in perfect health condition anymore. So naaawa rin ako.

So friends, this is my question:

1.  Pwede ba talaga akong mangialam sa family affair nila? Do I have the right to spill all the beans given na nakikitira lang ako sa family ng bf ko?

2. I really wanted to let MIL and bf know the truth because I felt that they deserve it and malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kanila. But doing so would definitely 'cause havoc to this family and like what I said, FILaw would soon need their help because of his health condition kaya naaawa din ako. Tsaka natatakot din kasi ako na baka kapag dumating yung araw na nagkabukuhan na, e sabihin ni FILaw, ayan o alam ni "iguessiamasimplejane". Patay. What's the best thing to do kaya?

Tsaka kapag kasi bumibisita si FILaw sa b1tch nya, nagiisneak sya ng mga goods dito sa bahay kaya natatakot din kami ng kasambahay namen na baka eventually kami pagbintagan pa may nawala (goods or money) since kami-kami lang ang naiiwan dito sa bahay kapag pumapasok sa work si MIL and ang mga ate. BTW, alam na alam din pala ng kasambahay namen ang storya as well as ng mga kapitbahay dito na me b1tch si FILaw and we gave FILaw the same exact advice but am wondering din bakit no reaction sila ate and MIL kahit me nangaasar pa ke FILaw paminsan minsan about the b1tch.

Eto pa, the b1tch is calling here sa bahay and kapag hindi si FILaw ang nakakasagot, binababa yung phone. E this weekend, ilang beses nasasaktuhan na yung isang ate ni bf ang nakakasagot kaya eto galit na galit and she wants the number of the caller to be traced.

I also once directly asked my bf kung anong gagawin nya once maconfirm na nambababae yung tatay nya and he just answered na wala lang, relax lang.  Though I was not satisfied with his answer and I felt na nanghuhuli lang sya kung me alam ako, I did not push through na lang kasi baka makahalata agad and ayokong maipit.

I need your advice badly po.      

[aquacharly]

Given your circumstances, for practical reasons -- do not squeal.
1st:  if you reveal the sh1t, you will need to provide the details, and perhaps prove the veracity of such
He may deny and turn the tables on you: ikaw ang story-telling-lies
Do you think mag co-witness yang tsismosang kasambahay or mga tsismosang snickering madla?
Don't bank on the gallery for support.
Remember:    they shoot the messenger, ika nga

On the other hand,  are you sure your mother in law is clueless?
IF:   so many people already know;  and this is a long-playing affair already; & that kab1tch is confident enough to call and try to ferret your soon-to-be father in law out of his conjugal home... most probably, your MIL is in denial.  Or she doesn't wanna bother to face The Truth.  See, old couples have their own ways of coping with unhappy marriages they may have no desire and/or energy to end.  Truth sometimes is stranger than Fiction, just saying.

Everything is percolating towards some ending.
Sabi ng darling lola namin,  when a man allows himself to get caught guilty philandering -- 2 bagay lang gusto nya mangyari, choose which:

1.  He wants his wife to demand he end the affair.  Kasi wala syang balls to end it and admit that he lied to his kab1tch about his many promises he made to her (1 of which is most probably:  I will leave my wife for  you.)
OR
2.  He wants his wife to end their marriage.  Kasi wala syang balls to end it and admit he lied about keeping his marital vows.

Either way, this hilaw pa  father in law of yours has no balls.  Matters are percolating, he is even rushing it along by going into True Confessions with any warm body with the time to hear him out. 
So, do not be the Change Agent here, the family members may not take kindly to your upsetting their status quo.  Baka nga they all know or sense but do not want to change their comfort zones, no matter how pathetic.  So pabayaan mo sila to play out their scripts, until they reach or prevent the inevitable ending.

That's just my opinion, given your circumstances.  What do I know anyway?
Ako, if I see with my own eyes whatever is "off" -- I immediately call up my friend or relative or family member.   I relay it as it is:  walang dagdag, walang bawas.  Bahala sila to interpret or deny; bahala sila to excuse or whatever.  But that's my circumstances, wala babaril sa akin.  I think. 

[Girltalker2]

TS mahirap ang situation mo. Pero feeling ko you have to tell [textspeak!] to stop na letting you know. And since alam mo now, you're asking him to stop his non sense otherwise you are obliged to tell it to his family (threat lang).

Pag tumigil sya, good. Pag hindi, feeling ko you need to tell bf to just pry and investigate na parang meron. But not sure.... Hay hirap. Tell him to ask the maids and kapitbahay if he wants to confirm.

[mei-mei]

May I just comment that your FILaw giving you the graphic details of his affair is kinda creepy, especially right after he kissed you on the cheeks. Makes me think the FILaw is really a sleazeball who is maybe also testing if you'd have an affair with him. Yuck!