Author Topic: I am a Frustrated Wife  (Read 2226 times)

maya_3

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I am a Frustrated Wife
« on: November 14, 2014, 12:06:47 pm »
Mga Sis I really need to get this off my chest kasi sasabog na please bear with me.

Me and my hubby started dating year 2000 and got married 2011. We live overseas with our 2 year old daughter. Nung preggy ako okay naman magkasama na din kami overseas pero my problem began nung napabarkada sya sa mga nag babanda dito... First, lagi na sya busy sa music instrument nya, may mga weekly practices minsn weekends din. Pag nasa bahay naman sya nasa computer with his instrument nagpapractice pa din..then one shocker to me is may facebook account pala sya accidentally ko nalaman na hindi man lang ako naka add although married naman ang status. We had a big fight about this kasi nakita ko may mga kachat siyang mga babae na nagpupurihan sila like: Idol ang galing nyo, sasabot naman sya ng hindi kayo nga super mega idol ko etc etc...I mean babae din ako sa ganyan nag uumpisa yan...When they have their gigs naman sinasama nya ako but what is fishy to me is that these girls na kachat nya sa fb eh nandun pero pag nandun ako sa gig they act as if they don't know each other..alam nyo yun dedma..so bakit hindi sila mag usap ng casual diba nakakapag isip eh...tapos hindi rin nya ako introduce sa mga girls dun sa mga boys lang....ito ang isa sa pinakamasakit na part mga sis simula ng nawili sya dun kahit ilabas man [textspeak!] ako hindi nya ginagawa i even begged him to watch movie pero ayaw nya..before nung hindi ko pa alam about fb nya pag nasa CR grabe halos 1 hr dun yata sya nag ffb...Yung anak namin ni ndi man lang nya masamahan sa labas whereas sa baba ng tinitirahan namin playground na...
I have been neglected long enough...ang sakit sakit na...
May maipapayo ba kayo sakin to feel better man lang kasi sobrang low maral nako...
To top it all dahil wala syang time sakin at sa anak namin ako yung nagpupuno ng kulang na oras...like I will run fast back home after work kasi wala kasama baby ko yaya lang..i need to make her feel na may parents sya...i can't even do what I want na minsan I want to hang with friends kasi nga naawa ako sa baby ko pag aalis ako as if wala naman yung daddy nya, I am so frustrated sa nangyayari samin.
Please help me mga sis...

ArtemisChie

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2014, 12:38:48 pm »
Hi sis maya, sad to here your story..
may i ask, have you already discussed these things with him? yung usap talaga na sinabi mo sakanya yung nararamdaman mo about sa mga nangyayari?

cussler

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2014, 03:05:14 pm »
guy here TS, really, there is something fishy going on.

sa story mo palang maraming signs si hubby of being infedil... siguro kelangan nyong dalawa ng masinsinang paguusap. talk about the issues wag mo lang diretsahin kasi talagang mag dedeny yan.

na experience ko na yan. may nakilala ako pero hindi namn to the extend na i neglected my responsibilities as a husband and father. pero yung may mga ninja FB account, mag tetext sa CR. lalabas ng bahay pag may tumatawag sa phone. done that. the best thing lang i stopped without being caught. so, parang walang milagro.

Talk to your hubby.

prettyysa

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2014, 03:40:39 pm »
Did you tried telling him about your concerns? I don't know if this will also apply sa situation mo but you can try it anyway. Ask him out or if ayaw nya talaga, prepare something different for dinner at home. Try to tell him your concerns or observations, kapag itinanggi niya, dont be furious. Its normal na itatanggi nya un and when you get mad, ibabalik niya yung galit sayo to cover up the guilt. When he say there's nothing going on, wag mo na lang ipilit. Just tell him that you are his wife and if may problem kayo, you need to talk and fix it bago pa lumala ang lahat. And you are always ready to hear what he have to say. Medyo masochist ba? :) Sometimes kasi it takes an understanding wife para bumalik sa dati yung relationship niyo. As much as possible try to understand where his actions are coming from. Im not saying na may problem sayo or sa bahay nyo kaya he's acting as such. But it's the first step.

Sometimes kasi we are too secured that we don't realize something is already wrong. Possibilities? We don't take care of ourselves just like before, pwede rin naman that we are not that sweet compared before and the likes.. Isa lang, don't ever blame yourself sa actions nya. If you realise na may pagkukulang karin (if ever lang naman, i'm not saying na meron :) ), dont be mad at yourself. Instead try to be better. :)

aquacharly

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2014, 08:27:20 pm »
MAYA3, IMO - your husband is into flirting around already.  Sadly, IMO,  he is opening  himself up to monkey business/infidelity. Sorry.  But talagang andon na sya -- konting tulak na lang  -- he will be effing  around.  Pwes, hwag ikaw ang tutulak sa kanya to eff around.

Cheating is a Choice -- his choice; unfortunately, it is beyond your control.
BUT you can do a lot to prevent it, or minimize it, or stop it if he has started on it.
How?  Be The Best  you are & can be. 
Instead of getting stressed out because of his flirting, FB & texting -- chill  & concentrate on playing your cards well.   
Think back & be the GF he had fun times with.  The GF na he was all hot and bothered over. 
Easier said than done, lalo na kung grrrrr ka inside & distracted by his dis-connect.  But how else can you be proactive?  You wanna fight this out as the majadera, suspetchosa (though your suspicions are true, naku he will turn the tables on you), constipated/uptight controlling wife?  You can do better than that.

Give this marriage your ALL, BUT set a Deadline.     Ikaw lang maka set kung kelan Deadline: depends on your capacity to wait, pray, hope & yes, suffer.  But there MUST be a Deadline para you do not just drift, parang ghost na floating around lang.  Hwag mong antayin "till Death do you part" -- if dumating ka sa point your heart is already very tired.   

Be The Best you are & can be. Be light, happy & sparkle. 
Sino ba may gusto kasama ang sad, galit, suya or pala reklamo.  Yeah, I know --  normal lang to be like that sa dis-connect nya sa inyong mag-Ina.   But the situation calls for more-than-normal effort.   
So i-sugal mo na lahat, gawin mo na  lahat  - pati pag tumbling at kain ng apoy (just kidding).  Dapat ma throwback mo sya sa Past -- na he remembers the reasons he fell in love with you.   Tapos, dagdagan mo pa.  Para ma-Boink! sya na:  Teka,  his Best Life pala is with you!

Hwag ka pa down sa flirting nya, sa deadma deadma ng mga ka FB FB nya. 
If you can't beat them, join them.
Pag sumama ka sa gig -- be the sexist one there.  Nakukuha yan sa aura, sa projection, sa visualization. Go and enjoy!  Be friendly with all -- men & women, lalo na men.  Peg mo si Sunshine Cruz. Why not?married but desirable, independent (why not, may sarili kang work di ba), & won't take crap.  Kelangan sweet na sweet ka, very nurturing, very connected ka with him (kahit he ignores you) --  but give him the feeling puede ka din manipa, or mawala.  Make him realize:  You can do better. 

What have you got to lose? If you live The Best you can be -- how can you lose?  Mawala man sya:  well, you can do better or  live an even more Beautiful Life.  Be bold;   hwag mo hatakin sarili mo pababa by getting scared, lost, depressed. 
Malay mo, tulad ng mga ibang Sis dito --  sila mismo nang-iwan   sa mga philandering husbands nila.  Got fed up & kicked them out or left them. 
Sis, isipin mo hindi ka lang mabubuhay without him;  but you can be more successful kung hindi ka naiistorbo at na de-depress or natatakot  dahil sa mga  gawain  nya. 

You can never control him. He will choose, as you will choose, at ang ganda or pagka walang aasenso ng bawa't buhay nyo ay dahil sa choices you each make.  So, best you make Good Choices FOR YOURSELF ---  yang work on yourself to be attractive, to advance your career, to make more money, to be a very interesting person, etc.   Tapangan   mo sarili mo, at mag sipag ka --  para mag improve ka.  At the end, mawala man sya:  Belat nya. 

You gonna fight positively, or cry miserably?    Your Choice. 

Take best care of yourself, Sis. 


EYESCREAM

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2014, 09:02:56 pm »
Napakaganda at napakagaling mag advice ni sis aquacharly. :-) meaningful!

donzski_doinks

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2014, 09:23:47 pm »
dami ko natutunan sa advice ni sis aquacharly. :)

EYESCREAM

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2014, 10:55:44 pm »
True :)

maya_3

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2014, 03:44:31 pm »
Oo mga sis naitanong ko anh sagot lang nya kasi daw magseselos ako..ang sabi ko naman may dpat ba ako ipagselos sa fb mo eh ako mga may fb din...sinabi ko na sa kanya mga frustrations ko alam nyo ba na 1 week pa inabot bago nya ako inadd sa fb na yun parang ako pa ang nagmamakaawa na maiadd man lang nya. =(

aquacharly

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Re: I am a Frustrated Wife
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2014, 07:52:21 am »
It will be hard to get far in this world if you will subject yourself to stress and wear over little things like that FB.  He is being inconsiderate, & that may be just the tip of the iceberg.  Tignan  mo -- sya yung inconsiderate about your feelings over his  FB, tapos ikaw itong mali: selosa ka. 

Hindi ko sinasabi na marami pang gagawing monkey business yang husband mo --  hopefully, his self discipline & appreciation for an orderly life kicks in before he makes the Move of No Return.  Hopefully, you have enough patience & love so you overlook his little inadequacies /neglect before he takes the Move of No Redemption.   
In short, stay sparkling, loving & do not nag nor whine, nor be needy. 

But I advise you to keep your eyes wide open, and play your cards well.  Keep a tight hold on your emotions,  para hindi ka matalo sa petty tugs-of-war nyo.  These things add up until I day you do not recognize each other na, including yourselves. 
Strive to always be the better person in your relationship. That's the only way to win with wanna-be or certified philanderers:  be the better, stronger person.    Walang takot mga yan sa nanay nila, sa priest, sa anak nila, sa  buong Republic of the Phils.  Pero takot yan pag think & feel nila you are strong enough na to walk out &  that their Best Life is with you.  So focus on that. He chose to marry you, he should recall that & stop all that nonsense, hopefully, sooner than later.  Dapat ikaw yung hinahabol, hindi ikaw yung naghahabol.    Something like: What you can do, I can do better.  But I am NOT telling you to be unfaithful or to be a flirt --  I am just saying, hwag ka paiiwan, na tulad ng mga tawag eh: losyang. 

Chill.  Yes, it's almost impossible, but how else can you think clearly to fight for your relationship na hindi ka mukhang  nega or a loser?
« Last Edit: November 16, 2014, 10:45:43 am by aquacharly »

 

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