What else can i do to my husband...

[EYESCREAM]

Mga sis, ano pa kayang dapat kong gawin para mapasaya ko pa si hubby? Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko! TTC kami ni husband but no luck. I'm on my 2nd cycle na pero i know hindi siya successful ulit. Hindi pala ganun kadali lalo na kapag nalaman mo na ikaw may problema. I have PCOS! At alam ko kung gaano kagusto na ng asawa ko magkaanak.
Wala naman kaming problema, masaya kame kapag magkasama, andun parin ang love, pero alam ko may kulang parin.
Kasama ko sa house sister ko with her 2 lovely kids and my other niece na anak naman ng kuya ko. Parents namin sa province na nakatira so pinaubaya samin yung house.
Masaya kami magkakasama, ang wala lang yung husband ng sister ko na dapat nandito din para makatulong naman sa pag aalaga ng mga anak niya. Kung wala ako dito, kawawa ate ko kasi may maliit pa siya. 1yr old! Andun siya palagi sa nanay niya, wala namang trabaho. Pupunta pero mga ilang araw lang uuwi din.
At yun na nga, ngaun napapansin ko na parang yung asawa ko na yung nagiging tatay ng mga anak niya. Lalo na sa baby kong pamangkin, everytime na nakikita ko na nilalaro niya, kinakarga, niyayakap at hinahalikan niya, kitang kita ko yung saya sa mukha niya na hindi ko matumbasan dahil iyon ang hindi ko pa maibigay sakanya ngayon, ang sariling anak..
Mga sis, masama na ba ko? Masyado ba kong paranoid na pati pamangkin ko pinagseselosan ko na? :-( o naawa ako sa asawa ko kasi hindi ko siya mabigyan pa ng anak? :-( ewan mga sis, hindi ko na alam kung papaano ko pa siya pasasayahin at maramdaman niya kumpleto kami at hindi ako ipagpalit sa iba.

Salamat :-(

[GeminiTiger]

Hi sis ! Dont lose hope . It Took us almost 2 years bago kami nagkababy . Yung group of friends ko , ako na lang ang walang baby and grabe sila mang asar . But in God's perfect time , ibibigay niya din sa inyo yung angel niyo . Meron thread dito sis yung mga TTC din , most of them PCOS din . Nakakatuwa kasi after few months , nagsshare sila na may little angel na din sila ! Im sure kayo din !

And I know love mo naman mga pamangkin mo , sabihin mo sa kanila sabihin kay Papa Jesus padalhan ka na din ng baby ! 

[EYESCREAM]

Thank you sis GeminiTiger. Yes, i love all my pamangkins. Lalo na sa baby boy ng ate ko :-) kaya tuwang tuwa din asawa ko! And yes, palagi din ako sa ttc thread, paulit ulit ko binabasa mga success stories nila! Pero ngayon gusto ko lang malaman as a wife kung ano pang mga bagay na makakapagpasaya kay hubby even without a baby. Baka kasi sa sobrang enjoy niya sa pamangkin ko, mawalan na siya ng gana naman sakin. :-(

[glamorosa_09]

-  hindi ko na alam kung papaano ko pa siya pasasayahin at maramdaman niya kumpleto kami at hindi ako ipagpalit sa iba.

- Baka kasi sa sobrang enjoy niya sa pamangkin ko, mawalan na siya ng gana naman sakin. :-(

So this is your fear. You fear that one day might come when your husband start to ignore you, take you for granted, or worse ipagpalit ka sa iba. All because you cannot give a child that he is longing for. Seems like you don't feel emotionally secured at all.

You're looking for ways to serve your husband, which in turn can improve your marriage, that's commendable. I know you love your husband that's why you're doing this. However, doing so, pleasing your husband will not ease your fear. Your insecurity will continue to feed your fear.

Your way of thinking na baka ipagpalit ka ng husband mo because you cannot give him a child, shows lack of trust sa pagmamahal and loyalty nya sayo. Actually, ke may anak ka man o wala, kung magchicheat yan magchicheat yan. As far as I know, hindi naman presence or absence ng anak ang batayan kung maghahanap ng iba ang lalaki.

I suggest, before you look for ways to please your husband, why not address your insecurities and your fears first. For as long as you don't have a baby, it would seem like that fear will not leave you. How do you make peace with your situation? How do you make peace with yourself? I believe that for as long as you're not at peace with yourself and with this situation, you will not be at peace with your husband.

And as for your thread title, I suggest you read Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. Nandito lang sya sa Marriage section. For sure a lot can answer your questions, but your intention is different, your intention, based from your post, is coming from fear and insecurity. Magandang intention is because you want to be a better wife and have a better married life. But anyways, nasa sayo naman yan, nagcomment lang ako.

[EYESCREAM]

Sis glamorous_09, thank you! Tama ka, maybe insecurities and fears involved. I so much love my husband, that's why I'm worried that maybe one day he might ignore or leave me as well having not a child. I'm sorry for my lack of trust in him, for my doubts yet insecurities. I just want him to be happy with me everyday. Ayoko mawala yun. Although lahat naman ginagawa ko for him to be satisfied.
Natakot lang siguro ako na baka mawala na yung attention niya sakin.

[glamorosa_09]

Have you shared with your husband about your insecurity for not bearing a child yet, your sadness about it, and your fear na baka mawala yung love nya because of it?

If not yet, I think you should share it and be transparent with himy. Wag mong solohin yung mga nararamdaman mong yan - insecurity, sadness, fear. Allow him to comfort and secure you.

You can also read the stories of other married people who can't have kids. Meron ba sa kanila na tinake for granted ng husband dahil di sila magkaanak? Sometimes we create our own multo, and we scare ourselves with our self-created multo.

With your open mind, I think you could be the best wife that you can, you can be the best woman that your husband could ever have. Yung fear and insecurity mo lang, baka madalas ka atakihin. Mas maganda ring you're coping with it, and encouraging yourself, hindi lang sa husband mo nakadepende yung emotional security mo. Maybe you can pray to God and find in Him the comfort and security that you need.

Also, it seems like you're ready to do everything to make your husband happy. Kaya lang baka sa takot, eh makalimutan mo sarili mo, puro sa kanya na lang nakaikot yung efforts mo. So balance lang.

[aquacharly]

Mind your fears, baseless ones can poison your mind.
Keep your aura and mindset positive & light.

A child  does not foolproof a marriage from philandering.

IMO, relax relax relax.  Go through your prescribed protocols, but relax.  Stress has been proven to delay pregnancies.
Pray to the Higher Being you believe in, for the gift of children.  Do not become impatient, The Wait may be the period for you both to observe, so you both turn into better parents. 

[yndy]

Hello sis, we're on the same boat, we're almost 4 years TTC and I had PCOS too and yes I completely understand your fears because like you I have been there and I admit I still feel the same way sometimes. I agree with what aquacharly and glamorosa_09. You cannot do anything about your husband but YOU can DO something for YOURSELF.

Talk to your husband, let him know your fears, but make sure that you don't come across as whining or something. It helps when you know that your husband understands and accept your current situation. Spend more time together, set dates on weekends and travel. Enjoy the time you have for yourselves. You may not have it when you already have a child/children.

Don't lose hope sis. Pray. In time God will give us our little angels. God Bless.

[EYESCREAM]

Thank you for the warmth comforts mga sis!! I truly appreciate it thankful for having this opportunity to vent out about myself.. Tama kayo mga sis! I need to follow your advice for my husband especially for myself.. Nag usap kami kagabi in bed time.. Kasi Gawain namin na mag chikkahan muna hanggang sa antukin kami! I'll ask him what if's, for having not a child, for taking lots of meds but still not successful, if were going to the next step which is hsg and found out that my tubes are block, pinapaliwanag ko sakanya lahat kapag nagkaganun ang chance nalang namin is thru ivf..and hindi namin siya afford talaga pero nagdadasal ako sa Panginoon na huwag na sana umabot pa sa ganun..shineshare ko sa asawa ko yung nalalaman at natututunan ko dito sa fm.. Ayun na nga i'll ask him if he still love me the way he loved me before we got married, if he gonna leave me to find other woman etc.. And he said, ofcourse NOT.. Ako parin daw ang mahal niya at mamahalin niya, siguro daw hindi will ni Lord na maging parent kami if ever at kailangan daw namin yun tanggapin.. Kung ibibigay, ibibigay daw kung hindi, Hindi daw fun natatapos any pagsasama namin.. tsaka wag daw kami mag pa stress kasi masyado pa daw maaga..
Haaay , sobrang saya ko na nasabi yun ng asawa ko... Parang natanggal yung tinik sa lalamunan ko! At nag share pa siya sakin ng story tungkol sa  kakilala niya daw before..   

 Worry free Sana Hindi magbago kapag tumagal tagal na Mahal na mahal ko siya!! And thank you talaga mga sis.. I love you mga sis :*

[Cat Meaw]

Glad to read na nakapag usap kayo ng maayos ni hubby mo TS. Any new update? Sana either preggy ka na