My BF is Unfortunately Married

[CityHunter]

I would agree with many here dahil if thread starter (TS) limited the background shared ay generally people would opt to advise on what they do know.  Seemingly from all angles ay you, TS, is simply making an excuse na hindi masabing kabit.

On another angle (na rarely focused on) pwedeng arranged marriage yun sa kanila.  Na hindi nila kagustuhan na makasal sa isa't isa.  Yes, it does happen even on this modern day.  Pwede rin napilitan lang dahil nabuntis, etc.  Some would even pass off gayuma as the reason.  The thing is not until the real story is shared kahit on the important points lang ay you can't hope to be understood properly.

[bluish_mommy]

Hello Sisses,
This is exactly my point, jumping into conclusion without getting into the details first

ano bang sinabi ko that made you think I jumped into conclusion? kung babasahin mo ulit ang post ko merong word dun na KUNG. that means, kung matutuloy yang plan na yan with this situation right now, that would complicate things.

tsaka sa natatandaan ko parang wala ka namang kwento na binanggit when the "maayos pa ang relasyon namin" at "balikan issue" happened. walang timing eh, kaya walang idea talaga ang mga tao dito kung ano talaga. if you don't want to be misunderstood, maybe its worth sharing the whole story as well, otherwise di mo rin masisisi ang iba kung mag-iisip ng maling info kasi nga kulang ang info.

[Pink_Sugar]

Pag bulag ka talaga sa pag ibig, magiging in denial ka na kabit ka. Dyan usually nahihirapan kumalas sa relasyon kasi nag fefeeling legal wife.

[nathanielle]

^Niloko si TS, sis. Kailangan natin tulungan si TS na marealize na kailangan nyang layuan yung lalake na yun. The fact that TS shared to us her predicament meant na she's aware that what she's doing is wrong. She just needs strength to go "no contact" with that man-whore.

TS never said in any of her posts that niloko sya. Sige ka sis ikaw naman masabihan na "jumping to conclusions" Lol.

Honestly onefineapril, what was the point of giving a very vague and general statement, which opens up to so many misinterpretations, AND THEN calling out those who replied precisely for misinterpreting you? It's like asking, "Where to go in Europe?" Then when girls suggest Paris, you suddenly tell them, "How could you suggest that! I got mugged in Paris and I hate it there and I'm never going back!"

Lol.  But whatever sis. Maybe you just really enjoy sitting back and watching people earnestly make an effort to reply to your post, all the while knowing na mali naman sila. Siguro ganun lang ang trip mo at ika nga ni aquacharly, walang basagan ng trip diba? Good luck to you TS, baby or no baby, annulment or no annulment.

[bluish_mommy]

^parang ganito lang yan eh... posting a status in FB, then sitting back and watching every minute sino ang magla-like or magco-comment sa post nya... kalurkey! 

[hedonista]

I took time to read the thread.
At first it opened a floodgate of the things I'd like to tell to the TS. Shempre involved ang personal experience being the WIFE.
Aliw ako sa thread napakadami ko natutunan!

kanta na lang ako:
 
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, darling
You give love a bad name

An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
Chains of love, got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free

You're a loaded gun, yeah
There's nowhere to run
No-one can save me, the damage is done

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

[caterpillar-girl]

Sis nathanielle: she doesn't want to be judged daw kaya she didn't give her full story. Which I can understand, kasi sino nga naman ba ang gustong mapagsabihan ng mga masasakit na bagay? Hehe.

But onefineapril, you gave a generic overview of your situation and you STILL got judged (if you call the very logical advice here "judging") so in effect parang, sayang lang yung effort mo sa pagpost at sayang din effort ng mga tao dito sa pag reply.

To me, the only one who doesn't judge me is my dog, really. So sometimes I sit beside him and talk to him at kahit ano pang sabihin ko, love pa rin nya ako hehe.

[momentum]

parang yung title ng thread eh linya lang ni Anne curtis sa No Other Woman bar scene with her friends...
"anong gagawin niyo if the only man you love is unfortunately married?!" 

Lahat ng advices dito, maganda. But there is a saying that goes...You can only lead a horse to water, but you can't force/make him drink

I guess TS will only realize this once the day comes na hindi pala siya ang pipiliin, or once the guy starts taking her for granted na
Then and only then nya marerealize ito..then and only then siya mag-sisisi. Hindi pa matatapos lang diyan yan. Once she becomes a wife, this memory will haunt her.

[bluish_mommy]

^kagabi yan ang palabas sa PBO hehe.. natatandaan ko nga ang linyang yan! haha naalala ko tuloy si TS 

[momentum]

^ wahahaha! sis napanuod ko din kagabi and I remembered TS din!  tagal na ako reading this thread but now lang nagcomment

at yun nga..marerealize nalang lahat nito ni TS kapag in the end hindi siya ang pipiliin, or when the guy slowly tries to disconnect na with her..either because he has found a new woman nanaman, o dahil nagkabalikan na sila ni wife.

Up to you TS should you wish to learn this lesson the hard way. buhay mo naman yan.
but we all know where this will all end..you yourself know where exactly this would end.

[nathanielle]

To me, the only one who doesn't judge me is my dog, really. So sometimes I sit beside him and talk to him at kahit ano pang sabihin ko, love pa rin nya ako hehe.

Lol. Dog lover here too, sis. High five! Buti nga sa alagang aso nalang natin tayo maglabas ng sama ng loob para siguradong walang judgment!

[insanelypurpleprincess]

And so, I have posted here in the past and I kept coming back for updates --- with the hope of seeing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Regardless, my only hope is that TS ends up making a decision that she can live with for the rest of her life. It doesn't matter if IT IS the right thing to do, but at least, it is one she can commit to bear for the remainder of her life.

Truly, I wanted to reply because I so totally agree with what caterpillar-girl and nathanielle said - about dogs and all. I am a Mummy to 5 doggy babies, so I can relate speaking to them and just pouring out stuff to them. Though unlike you guys, I feel that my babies are too smart, so nakikita ko na judgy din sila... pero super amusing because who knows, right? If only may thought bubble sila na nakikita natin para we know what's on their mind. Anyhow, thanks for bringing up the discussion of dogs to take off the heat on the situation.

[Pink_Sugar]

^sya ngayon ang "BALIW" sis.

[bluish_mommy]

^^sorry pero ang friend mo nabaliw na.

[maria helga]

@purple tips: Siguro di talaga magkasundo yung friend mo tsaka yung parents nya kaya ganun. Feeling nya nakatagpo sya ng "kakampi"sa guy na yun. Kulang lang siguro sa pagmamahal si friend mo. And I think narcissist yung guy. Have you read about narcissistic men and how they love to have a harem of women? Maraming babae ang nasira ang buhay, nasiraan ng bait, at nawalan ng dignidad all because nakatagpo sila ng isang narcissistic guy. Maybe your friend should do some reading about how narcissists triangulate with their exes to create an illusion na in demand sila and swerte ka kasi you're the one he's with. Kaya pa naman sigurong iligtas ng friend mo yung sarili nya from that toxic man. Tulungan mo na lang siya to open her eyes.

[wildorchid]

If i were in your shoes, isusuko ko yung relasyon namin. Respeto na lang para sa sarili ko sis.. and chance para mabuo pamilya nila.

[maria helga]

Ginagawa ng NORM ang infidelity these days. My brother who had just tied the knot with his girlfriend for 11 years defends his philandering ways by saying "Walang lalakeng perpekto. Lahat ng lalake may kabit. Nature na ng lalake yan. Wag mo kong pakialaman." Ayun.

Habang nasa ibang bansa asawa nya, sya dito kung sinu-sino kinakalantari. Take note, bf-gf pa lang sila nung asawa nya, may mga other women na sya. Consistent nga yung mga other women. Kahit kasal na yung kapatid ko, hala sige pa rin sila sa pakikipagrelasyon sa kuya ko. Parang tanggap na nila sa sarili nila na forever na silang kabit.

Aware naman yung girlfriend ng kuya ko sa ginagawa nya pero still nagbulag-bulagan kahit hara-harapan na syang ginag*go. Gusto ko nga sabihan yun na Äno bang nakita mo sa kapatid ko eh sampung taon ka ng niloloko pero sya pa rin pinakasalan mo? Gusto mo ba talaga na habambuhay kang iniiputan sa ulo? Na habangbuhay kang may kahati? Na habambuhay kang mapapraning tuwing wala sa bahay at di umuuwi ng maaga asawa mo? "

Ayoko maniwala na lahat ng lalake unfaithful. Pero parang 98% ng mga nangyayari sa mga kakilala ko at pati na rin dito sa mga stories sa GT, ganun yung case. Bakit makakati mga lalake? Bakit madali silang maboring? Ano bang gusto nila? Lagi silang pinapakitaan ng something new? something amusing? Kailangan ba kumain ng apoy para ma-sustain yung attention nila? Pag nanliligaw sila akala mo matino tapos pag naging kayo na at nagkaroon na ng commitment, magdadahilan na nakakasakal, na nakakasawa, na natukso lang ako, na lalake lang ako? Wala ba silang integrity? Aso ba sila? Kung kani-kanino kumakabit kapag nalingat ka.

Tapos yung ibang babae naman, malandi talaga at walang respeto sa kapwa nila babae. Manglalandi at manglalandi pa rin tapos idadahilan na yung "guy yung lumalapit kaya wala silang kasalanan"? Di ba sila natatakot sa karma? Feeling ba nila ang ganda nila kasi nagawa nilang mang-agaw?

These people don't know a thing anymore about love. Puro sila EGO. Ginagawa nila yun kasi naghihingalo EGO nila. Kailangan nilang i-feed.

Hanga ako sa mga babaeng niloko ng asawa at nagdecide na makipaghiwalay katulad ni Sunshine Cruz. Sana lahat ng babaeng niloko at tinanggalan ng dignidad ng asawa nilang hayop eh katulad ni Sunshine Cruz. 

[purple.strawberry]

Kaloka naman mga stories dito. Yung women e old enough na to have a relationship, with married guys pa, pero umaasa pa din for financial support from parents? Some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way talaga.

^Sis madami pa din naman faithful na mga lalake. Basta wag lang sa GT lang titingin kasi madami talaga ditong hindi matino. Haha. Makikipagrelasyon sa may asawa ipagyayabang pa with *wink-wink* emoticon, kala mo naman nakakadagdag sa pagkalalake nila.

[Girltalker2]

I salute the mom of your friend because she doesn't give in and holds on strongly to her values. Hindi talaga siya pumapayag na magsama yung friend mo and yung married guy, kahit may anak na sila.

Depende nga sa mom, pero malamang ang sakit sakit sakit nyan. Makita mo ang anak mo na pinalaki mo ng maayos and to the best of your abilities, only to become a mistress.

Yung sis in law ko (sis ng ex ko) kasi mistress din. Kaya alam ko ano ang pinagdadaagan ng mom in law (ex).  Pero syempre yung mom in law, sa anak lang nya ng babae nasasaktan, but tolerates her son (my ex) kasi wala naman daw syang magagawa. 


@ maria helga - naaliw ako sobra sa post mo hehe

Ayoko maniwala na lahat ng lalake unfaithful. Pero parang 98% ng mga nangyayari sa mga kakilala ko at pati na rin dito sa mga stories sa GT, ganun yung case.

Well, I used to believe 99.9% of men are unfaithful (sa dinanas ko sa ex ko - mind you, nagwala lang sya after the wedding and up til now, I really cannot comprehend why hindi nya ginawa yun with our 10+ years na BF/GF). 

But after meeting my current BF, sige sis, agree nako sayo, 98% are faithful. 

Bakit makakati mga lalake? Bakit madali silang maboring? Ano bang gusto nila? Lagi silang pinapakitaan ng something new? something amusing? Kailangan ba kumain ng apoy para ma-sustain yung attention nila? Pag nanliligaw sila akala mo matino tapos pag naging kayo na at nagkaroon na ng commitment, magdadahilan na nakakasakal, na nakakasawa, na natukso lang ako, na lalake lang ako? Wala ba silang integrity? Aso ba sila? Kung kani-kanino kumakabit kapag nalingat ka.

Yes, marami sa kanila parang aso na walang utak. Kung anong feel nila gawin, kung feel nila maki-siping sa iba, they will do it.

Pero really, IMO, there is fundamentally wrong with our culture in Pinas.
Most men are egoistic pigs with a poor sense of security and judgement.  Maaga nagsisipag asawa only to find themselves unfaithful kasi may nakitang girl na mas exciting or mas something kesa sa asawa.
And to make the matter worse, ang dali dali dali dali dali (1000x dali) makakuha ng babae, pokpok, kabit, prosti, escort, FUBU. 

At higit sa lahat OK lang sa wife ni lalaki, SUPER OK sa mga friends and officemates nya (lalo pa sya hahangaan), at OK lang din sa family nya. So san ka pa?

[Pink_Sugar]

nakakungkot ang mga ganyang pangyayari kasi nababalewala na ang importance ng relationship. Sabi nga nung judge wag kalimutan ang love, respect and fidelity.