Still NBSB at 30

[sprinkledust]

Hello,

Do you have some advice for girls who are already in their 30's and are still nbsb?

How can they find confidence and hope that there's still someone out there for them with this situation?

What can they do to remove the fear, panic and worry of finding someone when they're still nbsb?

Thanks in advance.

[hedonista]

I don't know sis exactly what to advise. All I know is that, I used to think I will never get married. I am very strong, independent woman, I intimidate guys --- yan sabi nila. One day may naglakas ng loob. He is my husband now. I even used to dub myself as the sinister spinster.

Well, what I can impart though is, whatever vocation or calling na italaga sa iyo, accept and be thankful. While being comfortable with that idea, love yourself more everyday. If mahilig magbasa or open minded, I suggest, reading or listening to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. There is one chapter about relationships. It will help you get positive affirmation and get the confidence you long for and hope. Yes, hope and remove the feelings of panic, fear and worry.

[purple.strawberry]

Some people find their life-long partners in their 30s or later. Believe it or not.

What are you doing ba sis? Baka naman lagi kang nasa bahay. For me ha, the best way to find someone - kahit dates lang - is to expand your circle. Join different activity groups, go out more, get out of your comfort zone. And don't be gloomy hehe. Enjoy your pagiging single muna, baka naman may mameet ka nga pero yung aura mo is gloomy naman. :p

[inday101]

There are still good men around the problem is we don't get to cross paths with them. don't lose hope in finding your one true love, if you're really meant to be married in time you will definitely get married. i know women married late in their 30's and 40's.  Rissa Singson-Kawpeng author of impatient bride married at the age of 39. 

[matangpusa]

MMM
magpaganda
magpayaman
magpasexy

[guia01]

Yung isa kong tita 37 na nung ikinasal tapos both of her daughters nasa early 30s na pero both NBSB.  Ako turning 28 na pero naging single ulit recently.  Ipinagdadasal ko na lang at saka syempre kailangan din iimprove ang sarili para naman makahanap ng potential dates.  Anyway, I think there is hope no matter how old you are.  Sabi nga there are many fish in the sea.

[TomHansen]

Try joining forums about your hobbies, at least there makakahanap ka ng mga taong kapareho mo ng hilig and it's easier to make conversations.. Sa social media always be positive sa mga posts mas madaling maattract ang tao sayo..

Wala bang nanliligaw sayo @sprinkledust or mapili ka lang?

[unsophisticatedme]

Yes! I  am one of them. Im turning 31 this year, and I never had a bf. When I was in highschool we're all  girls, hiwalay ang campus ng boys sa girls. Ok lang naman kahit di pa ko nagkakabf nung highschool my focus is my studies. Same when I was in college. But when I graduated and Im already in a real world, wala pa din. I told o myself ok lang yan. But you reach the age of 30 mag start ka na magworry talaga. Im losing hope na actually. Pano ba ko magkakalovelife even my friends are all single NBSB din to be exact. Asan na ang mga guys? Hello we're here! Nanawagan?! Haha. Nakakalungkot lang maging single. I wanna know the feeling of being in love and loved by someone. Naiisip ko din baka tumanda talaga ako mag isa na never ko naexperience ang love. Ang saklap lang!!!

[120515]

don't worry too much about it
i was an nbsb til i was 29 then i met my husband. everything just fell into place.
growing up, i was independent and anti-social (thinking about it, i feel very lucky to even have friends being the way i am). being alone doesn't really bother me like it does most people. i'm comfortable with it. in one of paulo coelho's books, he said that we should get to know ourselves in our solitude. he's right. when you're comfortable with yourself, it's easier to be comfortable with other people.
then i turned 29 and wanted to make a change in my life. i read about the bold moves october challenge from a tumblr blog i was following and decided that my bold move would be to join a dating site. that's where i met my husband. i was only there a few days when i saw his profile. i messaged him, we chatted, we hit it off and a week later we had our first date at a bookstore and spent about 8 hours just talking. now, we're married!
so don't lose hope at all! enjoy singlehood! your time for romance will come soon enough

[unsophisticatedme]

Its nice to hear story like yours..at least kahit sa iba may love pa nag eexist. Actually i tried online dating before, kaso wala nangyari para kasi mga guys i met there are just after sex. Kainis lang kaya ayun tinigil ko na. I am enjoying my singlehood but there come a time na malulungkot ka talaga. Lalo na yung mga batchmates mo, childhood friends mo mga nagsisipag asawa na..ako heto nganga. Tingin ko may problema sakin dahil ba sobrang tahimik ako? Or because im so simple not a typical girl a guy would want?

[120515]

i am also the last among my friends to get married. there is nothing wrong with you! you just need to get yourself out there - have you tried joining church groups or a club? my husband was the only guy i talked to in my online dating experience. i thoroughly checked his profile to make sure he's serious and not just in it to have some fun. he had a well-written profile and he mentioned there that he loved to read - that was the main thing that drew me to him because i loved books, too. maybe you can give online dating a second try, as well?

[angelzero]

go out more! go with friends who are more outgoing than you. they might have connections. don't be afraid to meet new people. just have fun and things will happen. don't try too hard. kung meron, meron. kung wala, ok lang din. 

[unsophisticatedme]

120515 and angelzero thanks for the advises. Problem is even my friends are not outgoing. I think mamamana ko yata ang sumpa pagiging oldmaid. Haha. Pero what is the best thing to do maghintay na lang kung meron darating sya or make a way din? Kadepressed! Haha.

[cecilydee]

Ako mailap din noon ang lovelife and thankful ako na at 27 nagka bf na ako sa wakas haha. But I always advise my single friends not to rush for the sake of "ako nalang magisang single sa mundo". its a nice feeling to have someone you can call your bf and somebody you say "i love you's" pero sabi nga ni Maroon 5, its not always rainbows and butterflies. Haha. I must admit, I idealized love too much and when the time came, Love surprised me. But i thought I was fully prepared for it. I became so addicted to my 1st bf tipong I control him so much and its so unhealthy. So I realized, even the intellectual one can have a low EQ when it comes to Love lol. Kaya I always say, better prepare yourself to compromise to your partner especially if you are a strong willed woman. nowadays kasi, ibang klase na ang pinapalabas sa media about relationship. Nawawala na ang essence of loving. So better to find someone who has the same values as you, willing to compromise and gives you kilig at the same time. Expand your male friends then skim the ones that fit your personality. This takes time....and pray na sana ibigay sayo ni Lord in the right time yung hindi mo nirush para hindi ka magkamali. I am lucky that my 1st bf is now my hubby and he is so much in love with me kahit na macontrol ako haha. But I also read somewhere here na unfortunately, they broke up with their 1st ex bf at 27 or 30? My point is...mahirap masaktan kaya dapat ready ka talaga sa Love. Hindi lang ready to be kilig.

[120515]

120515 and angelzero thanks for the advises. Problem is even my friends are not outgoing. I think mamamana ko yata ang sumpa pagiging oldmaid. Haha. Pero what is the best thing to do maghintay na lang kung meron darating sya or make a way din? Kadepressed! Haha.

according to brother bo, you won't meet too many people in the distance between your sofa and your ref  so go out there!

[angelzero]

120515 and angelzero thanks for the advises. Problem is even my friends are not outgoing. I think mamamana ko yata ang sumpa pagiging oldmaid. Haha. Pero what is the best thing to do maghintay na lang kung meron darating sya or make a way din? Kadepressed! Haha.

sadly common denominator ng mga 20 to 30-something nbsb's ay di sila lumalabas gaano at takot magpa-blind date. late bloomer din ako sis. nameet ko asawa ko just by going out more haha! di rin kasi ako ligawin.

[unsophisticatedme]

120515 and cecilydee, thanks to your words of inspiration? Haha kahit papano na lighten ang feelings ko. I'll take your advise sana soon may maishare din akong story like yours.

[~ anna ~]

Don't lose hope and try na wag mainip.  I know it's hard, but isipin mo na lang na it's so much better to be NBSB at 30 than being in a relationship just for the sake of being able to say na you're not single.  I've known people who went into relationships para lang masabi na they're in one, even if they don't really love the person.  That's sad, and highly unfair to both parties.

Use this time to get to know yourself better and to improve yourself.  Is there a promotion or a job that you've always wanted?  Are there places you want to travel to, hobbies or skills that you want to learn?  Then careerin mo na, pour your soul into it, itodo mo na ang effort, best time ito lalo na wala ka pang distractions/obligations like a family to raise or a significant other.

While you're out there making the best life for yourself, you're bound to meet people, and who knows, one of them might just turn out to be your Mr. Right.  Wag magmadali, don't sell yourself short.  It is worth the wait.

[unsophisticatedme]

Thank you so much anna for your advise.Yeah tama ka I will use my time toimprove myself and do whatever I want to do when Im still singleand waiting. Just enjoy life maistress lang ako at papangit kung masyado ko didibdibin ang pagiging single baka lalo wala magkagusto sakin. Haha.

[reann787]

^hi sis unsophisticatedme hmm anyway nasa late twenties ako, but i can certainly relate sa nararamdaman mo.. hindi man ako NBSB, i admit i got into a relationship for the heck of it, like i practically jumped at the first guy that showed interest in me LOL, which i really regret right now.. ito nalang isipin mo sis marami pang katulad mo, kahit na wala sa circle of friends mo.. tahimik lang din ako, im the real definition of an introvert, and i exude the kind of ere na unapproachable, and im not much to look at.. ngayon palang iniisip ko  siguro hindi na ko makakapag bf ulit which is kind of alarming diba? lalo pag iniisip mo yung possibility na baka hindi ka magka anak.. pero ayun din iniisip ko, ill invest in myself na muna.. pero you know what, ayoko yung masyado ako mag effort magpaganda kase alam mo yun, i dont want a person na manotice ako on how i look on the outside, if ever magka bf ako i want them to be attracted to who i really am..  i hope na makatagpo ka ng kagaya nun sis, the kind na mag eefort talaga to get to know you, and will accept what you really are