Sooo....I am back in our original house before I decided to move and join him in another state, and we have filed for divorce just the week before Thanksgiving. Let me tell you the full story, and how the advices of our sissies here helped me.
So after reading the posts, I heeded your advices: be calm, play smart, play my cards right, reign in my emotions, etc. I layed low, I acted as if I have forgotten about the whole thing but I let him feel that I was hurt. I know he will become careless again, and true enough, that moment came. As usual, lasing ulit. We went out for dinner, went back home, then he wants to go out for drinks daw. Alone. I felt bad, pero sige, go. Little did he know that I followed him. I saw him enter the bar, barely half a block away from our condo. I dared not enter because pano kung nasa bukana lang siya diba. I waited in the bitter cold for 15 or so minutes then lumabas sya, cellphone on hand, looking from left to right. Punches something in his phone, then looked left and right as if waiting for someone. Suddenly, a cab pulled up to where he was standing, a woman was there, and he happily went in with her. I swear mga sis, if only may bridge that time, baka tumalon na ko. Ang sakit. I went home to calm down, because I need more evidences. He came home after an hour and a half, drunk. Very chatty. When he passed out, I hacked his phone, and he was not able to erase the text exchange between him and the b*tch. I screened shot those texts and sent them to my own phone, then erased any indication of my snooping. The following day, he came home from work with the printed messages laid out on the kitchen counter. Aba soya pa galit. Until I started to tear up and told him that I saw everything too. Hindi na nakatanggi. I said that's it. It's over. He won't let me go, we spent 3 weeks in torture, kept on saying that he loves me and can't live without me. Hindi pa natapos, those same words that he's telling me? Well, nahuli ko lang naman na sinasabi din niya sa kabitch niya thru text. I called on him the very moment kasi akala niya siguro I was sleeping. Eh kiting-kita ko mga messages nila.
I did not hurt him, although he deserves slashed tires on his brand new car, o mabato ng pots and pans sa ulo. I did not say mean things to him. I was sensible and calm, if not teary lang because of the pain. He finally let me go, and we divided the properties to have a clean-cut, uncontested, and un-nasty divorce. I get the 2 houses in the Philippines, I co-own the house that I live in now, he pays for everything. I did not go after his other properties especially those that he owns before we got married.
Both our families already know, and surprisingly, they did not take any sides. I think my calm demeanor and our civil relationship made the difference. He is really a good person, as long as you are not married to him. And I don't think it is not right to damay pa our families and friends.
My former boss, our lawyer, while so sad, jokingly said that I probably am the nicest ex-wife in the history of divorce, lol!
So now? I am alone. Very few friends of mine know what I am going thru. I am no longer angry or vengeful, what for pa diba? But I am still very very sad. I have my own savings, so I am still good while finishing school and looking for a job if ever I cannot have my old job back. I don't want to rely on the soon to be ex's promises kasi of support. Mahirap na. I did not ask for any alimony. I know this will sound strange pero our relationship improved when we decided that the only thing that we can salvage is a good friendship, nothing more.
And in conclusion, I want to share this bible verse: 1 Peter 5:10 - "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
