Dating: Why some guys won't commit

[Fluffyheart]

Have you ever dated someone na ayaw naman ng commitment?
Bakit ba may mga guys na ayaw PA ng commitment? Hindi ba nila ganon kagusto yung girl?
What are the possible reasons?
Share your thoughts.

[p0isonIvy]

^ it just means theyre not ready yet. mas ok yang ganyang honest sis. kesa naman yung guy na bubulagin ka sa total love and commitment kuno, yun pala lima kayo.

[alice_alice]

Yep meron. Akshali nakakatawa nga kame nung ex ko. Kasi emotionally unavailable siya kaya di siya makapagcommit while i am emotionally damaged naman so ako rin di makapagcommit, marami kameng baggages pero we can't deny na pag nagsasama kame may spark may connection di lang naman gobil iyon kasi iba eh iba talaga kaso di pa enough para magkaroon kame ng relationship.

Ang reason naman ni ex ko dati gusto niya ako kaso since emotionally unavailable siya natatakot siya na maging gf ako tapos mapapabayaan niya lang ako so di na lang muna niya ako pinursue ang reason ko naman gusto ko rin siya kaso ayoko na maloko uli kaya ayoko muna siya manligaw.

Pero nagdedate kame madalas pa nga haha.

After ilang months na takot finally sinubukan na namen, gusto na namen maging exclusive at ayun okay naman tumagal naman kame, kung siguro naging faithful ako sa kanya eh engaged na kame kaso hindi eh pero okay lang naman din.

[aquacharly]

^ it just means theyre not ready yet. mas ok yang ganyang honest sis. kesa naman yung guy na bubulagin ka sa total love and commitment kuno, yun pala lima kayo.

Yes! 


Kaya it's best to go around in groups muna, or be friends lang muna. 
I tell my single friends who date:  be very very visible with your date.  Yung type na you do very public things, you come across lots of friends, colleagues, etc.  IMO, mga prefer  private/limited exposure dates eh -- yan ang mga may "secrets".  IMO, what do I know anyway?

[Tootsie31]

Thanks aquacharly, onga no mas ok na group muna para marami makakita ng intentions ni guy. Currently I'm in that situation. End of August nagstart na makasama sa group namin itong si guy. Sabi nya single sya, mukang totoo naman kasi sya pa mismo nag-aaya na magkita kita kame at pag inaya sya, available naman sya lagi. I want to know him better pero di ko magawang tanungin sya ng kung ano ano about him.

[aquacharly]

^just enjoy yourself, TOOTSIE.
Play it safe, play it light, play your cards well.

Let him be the 1 to need to reveal himself to you, layer by layer like an onion. 
That way, your eyes are always wide open to what he presents himself as. 
You are not blinded by your curiosity -- you can take him or leave him.

It pays to be careful nowadays. Guys can be crafty in their deceit. Hahahahaha. 
You gotta be careful, really -- you deserve only what's good. 

Take care of yourself, always. 

[simang]

Guys, just like us girls, want a stable relationship as well. When they tell you they don't want commitment, it means they don't want commitment with you. But once they find that person and they themselves are ready, they will want a commitment.

[stebsy]

Hmmmm... I'm not a guy, but maybe, the reason they don't want to commit is because they want to focus on something else instead, that would require their full attention. Pwedeng career, project, self, family, sports, or gf nila. If they can't commit on you, they must be preoccupied or commited with someone/something else.

[purple.strawberry]

He's just not that into you.

[Girltalker2]

And I think as women, the trick is NOT TO FALL.

It is only by not falling in love that you can enjoy dating.  In fact, it is best to date more than 1 guy at a time.  This way, your attention is divided, hindi mahuhulog ang loob mo sa iisang guy na isa ka lang din sa pinaglilibangan nya.

Only when he is ready to commit to you AND na-confirm mo ito (note, maraming nagsasabi pero kulang sa action at hindi totoo ha), is the only time you allow love to flow in.

Otherwise, if you keep on "assuming" na magiging BF mo na ang guy na nag ask lang ng date sayo, lagi kang mag-end up na luhaan.

[Tootsie31]

Thanks for your answers! Until now, ganun pa rin kame. Nag date na ako ng iba but sya pa rin ang gusto ko. Baka makipag speed dating na lang ako this valentines day para kalimutan muna uli sya.

[minatay91]

^ sige girl move on ka nalang. Because it seems na parang back pocket or meantime girl ka lang. Guys dont have an issue with commitment..they have an issue with commiting to YOU, and its about high time girls accept it (took me a deal of pride too haha!) For whatever reason he uses, fact of the matter is, ayaw pa rin mag.commit.

Why dont you ask him the reason why he wouldn't commit? If the reason actually changes anything.. If matakot sila kunin ka ng iba, they will want to have you for themselves. Be open and take it as it is.

Again, if gusto, may paraan, if ayaw, palaging may dahilan hehe

[Tootsie31]

^Thanks sis. Tama ka sis, kung gusto may paraan. Nabanggit nya nga sakin dati na nalalayuan sya sa bahay ko, ibig sabihin gusto nya pala ko puntahan. Pero yun nga, di sya into me that he can't make an effort to visit me at home. Sya pa mismo nag open ng topic na yun. Kaloka.

Recently, nagkaayaan barkada namin na pumunta somewhere near my place pero busy ako nun so di ako nagpakita sa kanila. Ayun pumunta sya kahit late kasi meron daw girl na andun na naka-short shorts

[minatay91]

^ lol so much BS sis. anyone can always (and guys for that matter) say they want to "but" .. positive scripting. haha. OA naman "malayo ang house mo" .. geez your house is as far from his as his house is as far from yours! same lang distance. he can always spew lies naman Dont forget that. Stop listening and start looking at his actions.

"I'd love to visit" .. but he doesnt. -__-

[17glut]

Sabi nga ng mga ninuno natin, pag gusto maraming paraan, pag ayaw maraming dahilan.

Para sa kin, bilang lalake, kung early on alam kong wala ako mapapala sa isang girl na target ko, kahit gaano ko pa sya ka-type, hindi na ko mag-aattempt na magpakita pa ng motibo. Ako na mismo iiwas.

Sample scenario dyan yung gandang-ganda ako kay girl pero may mga traits sya na medyo off sa panlasa ko (flirty kahit alam ng lahat ng may jowa na sya, unstable mag isip, etc) di bale na lang, mag-marathon na lang ako ng paborito kong tv series kesa gastusan pa ng pera o panahon ang girl na yun.

Now, kung si girl naman ang magpakita ng motibo sa kin like magpapansin ng todo (which happened to me alot of times from my last call center work) or sabihin sa ibang tropa na may thing sya sa kin, same thing applies, ako na mismo lalayo para iwas gulo na lang. I don't usually crap in my own backyard.

[minatay91]

^ wow girl must have turned you off somehow (usually the case) or you mustn't have liked the girl that much in the first place

[17glut]

^for some strange reason, I did like her kasi I've been eyeing her for quite sometime (a bit of stalking on my part I admit ) pero kasi may mga kilos sya tulad nung obvious na pagpaparamdam that DID really creeped me out. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Kung di marunong mag isip at dumiskarte yung guy na pinakitaan ng ganun, most likely papatusin nya yung ganung klaseng tao - sinong manok ba naman ang aayaw sa magandang palay na lumalapit, di ba?

Di kasi ako basta basta nagpapadala sa ganda lang, I quietly observe people around me muna lalo na pag girls na natipuhan ko on how they interact with others, dun pa lang makikitaan mo na kung worth it o hindi. In my case, it's literally asking for trouble. 

 

[huggykaye]

Based on my hard-learned lessons, it only means that they are not so into you and they're still looking for something better (in all aspects) than you.

In short, gusto pa nila magplay around.

totoo yan sis...
mas ok na din maging straightforward diba... yung isang naka date ko ang reason naman nya, he was not yet over with his ex daw... i bought that excuse, buti nagsabi ng totoo =)

[simang]

If you feel na a guy doesn't want to commit, it means he doesn't want to commit to you.

[Tootsie31]

Naguguluhan na talaga ako sa kanya. Isang araw lang nangyari tong lahat na ikkwento ko.

Una, kinausap nya ko tungkol sa tinext ko sa kanya the other day. Maiksi lang sagot ko kasi isang simple topic lang yun. Hindi na nya pinahaba yung usapan kung gusto nyang makausap pa nga ako..

Then, nakikita kong patingin tingin na lang sya sakin the next couple of hours pero di na nya ako kinakausap. Napatingin din sya sakin nung may guy na kumausap sakin.Nagaabang ako kung magseselos sya kasi may pumansin saking iba pero di sya nagpapansin sakin e.

Nung nagdinner kame, tumabi sya sakin. Then lumingon kunwari sa side ko para tingnan lang ata ako. Nung dumating na order nya pero wala pa yung order ko, inalok nya sakin yung side dish nya. Kumuha naman ako. Di naman nya ako kinausap after.

Nag aabang ako ng moves nya pero wala na hanggang sa naguwian kame.

Natutuwa lang syang tignan ako, ganun ba yun?