Is your BF addicted to online gaming too?

[sofistikada_1230]

I don't mind if my boyfriend plays online games because I also play games like 2048, candy crush and sims. What I mind is that he spends way too much time in gaming considering that he's already 37 y/o.

Every Saturday he goes out to meet his friends to play pen and paper RPG and spends around 5 hours minimum. Kinausap ko na siya about it pero palaging nauuwi sa away... i'm thinking that the only way to solve it is to break up with him. I'm starting to feel hopeless and unappreciated.

Is your boyfriend addicted to online games too and how do you deal with it?

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

^sis eto lang issue ko sa asawa ko. hehe. akala ko kasi magbabago siya if mag-asawa na kami pero ganun pa rin siya. sa bahay lang siya naglalaro pero mga 2hours siya every weeknight (pero pinapatulog niya muna ako, hehe), tapos pagweekend mga 5hours per day. nagcompromise na lang din kami (pero it took us years ha kasi gaya sainyo, nagaaway din kami pagnamemention yung paglalaro niya). dapat pagmaglalaro siya, may gagawin din ako (like dapat DL niya ako ng mga series/movies na pang-chicks) tapos dapat may makakakain ako (dahil umiinit ulo ko sakanya paggutom ako).

ang concern ko lang ngayon, yung mata niya. laging namumula tsaka walang pahinga (pc sa work, nood anime sa cellphone during commute, paguwi laro sa ps vita, tapos nood pa kami ng movies) minsan nadadaan naman sa lambing na i-off muna namin lahat ng gadgets para lang magusap or minsan nagbabaraha na lang kami.

if eto lang issue mo sakanya sis and sa opinion mo, his good traits outweigh this, baka pwedeng pagtiisan.

[Raserei]

My boyfriend is a gamer, so am I. Nagkakaron ng time na we're side by side but we hold our own consoles. Sa umpisa pa lang, napag-usapan na namin yan. He calls it his "me time" where he gets a pass from texting or calling me so he can play. No time period set. Just a simple good morning then he'll set my expectations that he'll be playing then that's it. I go with my own biz - watch TV or movies. When he is done, then saka na kame usap what happened sa mga buhay buhay.
 
Hindi naman sya naging big issue kase I know that it is his way to get his mind off things.

What I can suggest is to have your own game you both play. Besides naaaliw kayo, it's another topic you both can relate to. Plus. Just let them boys play. 

[sofistikada_1230]

Hi sis. Thanks a lot for your response. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone. I just feel that he needs to grow up and siguro I'm trying to push him to spend more time in valuable things like reading/ learning how he can do better in his career. Tsaka magkasama nga kami pero nasa gaming naman yung attention niya. I just can't imagine having a family with a guy who spends his free time playing gamies.

In your experience it took years? wow. bilib ako sa patience mo sis.

^sis eto lang issue ko sa asawa ko. hehe. akala ko kasi magbabago siya if mag-asawa na kami pero ganun pa rin siya. sa bahay lang siya naglalaro pero mga 2hours siya every weeknight (pero pinapatulog niya muna ako, hehe), tapos pagweekend mga 5hours per day. nagcompromise na lang din kami (pero it took us years ha kasi gaya sainyo, nagaaway din kami pagnamemention yung paglalaro niya). dapat pagmaglalaro siya, may gagawin din ako (like dapat DL niya ako ng mga series/movies na pang-chicks) tapos dapat may makakakain ako (dahil umiinit ulo ko sakanya paggutom ako).

ang concern ko lang ngayon, yung mata niya. laging namumula tsaka walang pahinga (pc sa work, nood anime sa cellphone during commute, paguwi laro sa ps vita, tapos nood pa kami ng movies) minsan nadadaan naman sa lambing na i-off muna namin lahat ng gadgets para lang magusap or minsan nagbabaraha na lang kami.

if eto lang issue mo sakanya sis and sa opinion mo, his good traits outweigh this, baka pwedeng pagtiisan.

[sofistikada_1230]

we haven't tried playing games together because his type of games doesn't interest me but it's a good idea to find games which we can play and enjoy together. pero sis hindi ba nakakabother na he's already 37 y/o but still spends so much time gaming? parang hindi nag ggrow?

My boyfriend is a gamer, so am I. Nagkakaron ng time na we're side by side but we hold our own consoles. Sa umpisa pa lang, napag-usapan na namin yan. He calls it his "me time" where he gets a pass from texting or calling me so he can play. No time period set. Just a simple good morning then he'll set my expectations that he'll be playing then that's it. I go with my own biz - watch TV or movies. When he is done, then saka na kame usap what happened sa mga buhay buhay.
 
Hindi naman sya naging big issue kase I know that it is his way to get his mind off things.

What I can suggest is to have your own game you both play. Besides naaaliw kayo, it's another topic you both can relate to. Plus. Just let them boys play. 

[Raserei]

I am 31 while the boyfriend is 32. And from what I can see, we won't be outgrowing our gamer sides anytime soon. Baka pag hindi na kami makakita or makarinig baka dun pa lang kami magstop haha. Wala sa age yun sis. Kahit umabot pa sya ng 40 or 50 basta capable pa sya of doing what he needs to do then he won't stop. It's a matter of keeping the communication open, make him understand lang na pag time ninyo dapat kayo lang. Wala nang gaming shiznits. Not unless he can convert you to a more "mature" gamer. Meaning he got you interested in something he plays.

[blackgreen]

Ganito din boyfriend ko, dati nag-usap na kami na dapat pag friday and saturday no games. Ginagawa naman niya. Pero pag may tournament, nagpapaalam naman siya pero sandali lang.

[det060403]

i think my husband's sort of addicted to an online game too. hahaha... hmmm "sort of"  kasi he can still function normally naman. LOL! pagising niya, bago matulog, kapag naaalimpungatan siya from sleep dadamputin niya yung cellphone niya para maglaro ng COC. Minsan nakakatulugan niya pa nga yung cellphone niya pero yung tipong feeling ko inaantok na siya kaso pinipigilan niyang makatulog kasi gusto niya maglaro. hahaha! He plays the game while eating at the dinning table, while doing chores... sometimes I'd yell at him kapag antagal niyang lumabas ng banyo dahil malamang na pirme na naman yun kakalaro habang nakaupo sa toilet. hahaha!
So far i can still cope with it. I'm enabling him because i think yun din yung stress reliever niya nowadays. Hopefully mapagsawaan niya soon bago ko mapikon. LOL!

[cescilay]

My husband plays dota at least two hours every weekdays and more than that kung weekend. Buti na nga lang at na disable account niya sa WoW kaya medyo nagtampo siya doon kasi nasasayangan siya sa items na binili niya. Imagine he spent a few thousands sa games niya.

However, it's not a big issue for me kasi it's the only bisyo he has. No drinking, smoking, womanizing, etc. Yun lang talaga so I'd rather accept that than worry that he'll turn to something else. We have talked about it and sabi niya it's his reward for working hard during the day, which is true naman. Besides, tumutulong naman siya sa mga gawaing bahay and hindi naman nagkulang sa pag-spend time sa akin, our family and friends so we're good.

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

I'm trying to push him to spend more time in valuable things like reading/learning how he can do better in his career.

sis, ganito din feeling ko dati. while this is ideal, nagopen up hubby ko na paghindi na oras ng trabaho, ayaw na niya magisip na anything work-related. sometimes feeling ko he can do more, be more pero di ko na minemention. ayoko na din dumagdag sa stress niya, baka lalo siya kumapit sa games. hehe!

[quinone]

I just feel that he needs to grow up and siguro I'm trying to push him to spend more time in valuable things like reading/ learning how he can do better in his career.

it's a hobby just like reading or any other. for me walang pagkakaiba, so it is not something you outgrow. may narinig nga ako sa radio before na japanese yung grandmother niya, at kahit matanda na naglalaro pa rin ng games.

Tsaka magkasama nga kami pero nasa gaming naman yung attention niya. I just can't imagine having a family with a guy who spends his free time playing gamies.

ano hobby mo? baka you miss him lang kasi may idle time ka?

i am in my 30s pero naglalaro pa rin ako although late na ako nagstart sa games...mga late 20s. my husband and i spend time together by watching movies at home, going out to eat, window shopping, traveling, etc.

i think basta may time together at hindi unreasonably addicted oks lang. si hubby he goes out 2-3 days per week to play sports with friends tapos kakain or iinom sa labas. ang oras na nacoconsume niya is anywhere between 6-10 hours. aalis siya ng 6pm babalik siya ng 12midnight-4am. so parang pareho lang with your guys 5-hour gaming time.

si hubby kasi he tells me everything na nangyari sa araw niya at laging may dala sa akin paguwi, so i don't feel neglected at all.

[sofistikada_1230]

nakailang usap na kami sis about this. he would ditch playing for a week or two tapos balik nanaman sa dating habit... parang cycle na lang... pero i'll try to look for games that we both could play together.

Ganito din boyfriend ko, dati nag-usap na kami na dapat pag friday and saturday no games. Ginagawa naman niya. Pero pag may tournament, nagpapaalam naman siya pero sandali lang.

[sofistikada_1230]

this sounds like my bf na parang extension na ng katawan niya yung phone and nexus tablet niya playing games and it's really annoying! buti ka pa sis mahaba patience mo...

i think my husband's sort of addicted to an online game too. hahaha... hmmm "sort of"  kasi he can still function normally naman. LOL! pagising niya, bago matulog, kapag naaalimpungatan siya from sleep dadamputin niya yung cellphone niya para maglaro ng COC. Minsan nakakatulugan niya pa nga yung cellphone niya pero yung tipong feeling ko inaantok na siya kaso pinipigilan niyang makatulog kasi gusto niya maglaro. hahaha! He plays the game while eating at the dinning table, while doing chores... sometimes I'd yell at him kapag antagal niyang lumabas ng banyo dahil malamang na pirme na naman yun kakalaro habang nakaupo sa toilet. hahaha!
So far i can still cope with it. I'm enabling him because i think yun din yung stress reliever niya nowadays. Hopefully mapagsawaan niya soon bago ko mapikon. LOL!

[sofistikada_1230]

i see... so i guess the problem is with me too kasi parang ang controlling ko... just a realization...
my bf doesnt have any bisyo as well. doesnt drink, smoke and not cheating. nahihinayangan lang talaga ko sa time na he spends in playing instead of productive activities like going to the gym and trying to stay fit.

My husband plays dota at least two hours every weekdays and more than that kung weekend. Buti na nga lang at na disable account niya sa WoW kaya medyo nagtampo siya doon kasi nasasayangan siya sa items na binili niya. Imagine he spent a few thousands sa games niya.

However, it's not a big issue for me kasi it's the only bisyo he has. No drinking, smoking, womanizing, etc. Yun lang talaga so I'd rather accept that than worry that he'll turn to something else. We have talked about it and sabi niya it's his reward for working hard during the day, which is true naman. Besides, tumutulong naman siya sa mga gawaing bahay and hindi naman nagkulang sa pag-spend time sa akin, our family and friends so we're good.

[Raserei]

There are fitness games available for consoles sis. To at least promote activity sa mga gamers para naman hindi stationary. We play Kinect Sports and Dance Central. Fun cardio! Pagpapawisan ka din.

[nene1117]

I can say that my partner is an online game addict.
kaya nia magpuyat ng hanggang madaling araw kakalaro, lalo na kung weekends mula paggising hangang gabi na yun kain at toilet lang ata pahinga nia..
di ko siya pinipigilan sa paglalaro nia kasi alam ko yun lang ang libangan nia, wala siyang bisyo or barkada, di rin mahilig lumbas or lalabas lang siya pag kasama ako or kung may need lang siguro siyang bilhin sa mall.. PERO kung feeling ko sobra na ang paglalaro nia like pati ako nappuyat na lalo na kung may pasok kinabukasan, pinagsasabihan ko na siya to stop..as in malumanay pa ang pagsabi ko kasi if I yell, isasadya niang di pa rin tapusin ang game...
Responsible siya sa lahat ng bagay kaya wala ako maireklamo, basta pag naapektuhan lang yung pagtulog ko..
parang yun ang stress reliever nia..

[j.adore]

"Women hope that men will change for them while men hope that women will stay the same."

My dad is a gamer and it's his stress reliever. My mom leaves him alone kasi wala namang bisyo although like you, nagtatampo siya minsan pag gusto maglambing. Pero ang ending, she will still understand lalo na pag grabe ang pressure sa work.

My husband is a gamer as in not just online games, PC games, console, phone, tablet, you name it It's also his stress reliever and he has a high-pressure job din. Wala din siyang bisyo.

I'm also a gamer pero not full fledged as in pili lang at minsan lang mag-addict.

What we do is set time for when both of us will play, have play dates, o kaya habang naglalaro siya, maghahanap ako ng kalilibangan ko kung di ko trip yung game niya.
We also set date time na bawal maglaro as in bonding lang kami dapat and this works for us.

Age doesn't matter. Don't take games away from gamers kasi it's part of who they are. If it's something that you cannot take, don't go into the relationship hoping to change them.

[sofistikada_1230]

I do enjoy cooking for him and reading. true, i do miss him if i have nothing else to do and wish that we could do something together. so i get annoyed pag nagawa ko na lahat ng gusto kong gawin pero di parin siya tapos mag game...

ano hobby mo? baka you miss him lang kasi may idle time ka?

si hubby kasi he tells me everything na nangyari sa araw niya at laging may dala sa akin paguwi, so i don't feel neglected at all.

[sofistikada_1230]

Thanks for this... mejo nagising ako sa reality na you cant change someone who's life has revolved in gaming... i'll talk to him and see how we can compromise.

"Women hope that men will change for them while men hope that women will stay the same."

Age doesn't matter. Don't take games away from gamers kasi it's part of who they are. If it's something that you cannot take, don't go into the relationship hoping to change them.

[Girltalker2]

I think there is nothing wrong with playing games. Kaso if responsibilities are being compromised (ie late sa trabaho, laging inaantok, missing dates, tinatamad lumabas), parang may mali na. The guy is not ready for a relationship or to be a husband/family man.  And I don't think it is something that you can force him to not do.  Kung gusto nya, kahit anong usap pa ninyo, wala kang magagawa.

Parang bisyo din iyan - like pag inom, pambababae or pagsugal. Kahit ayaw mo, wala kang magagawa kung gusto nya.