Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 6)

[dismembered]

He told me before he had girlfriend of four years na he got pregnant din. Apparently, Same outcome.
The reason why he wanted me to use cytotec kasi his previous girlfriend used it and it worked on her.
By that story, Alam ko na. The reason why it was too easy for him kasi nagawa nya na pala dati.
I feel very bad na naulit pa sakin. I know I'm stupid.

Dito pa lang, enough na ang reason para iwan mo ang lalakeng yan. Sakit sa ulo lang ang ibibigay sayo nyan. Unang una, nagkamali na pala sya dati, tapos di pa rin marunong mag-ingat? Tapos gagawin nya ulit ang pagkakamaling nagawa nya dati? Iwan mo na yan ngayon din! Madaming lalake jan sa tabi tabi. Hay nako.

[baliwsayo]

introvertpixie, wow.. can't believe you're having a hard time ditching this jerk. So sorry for you. Sobrang pangit mo ba, sobrang taba at feeling mo wala ka ng pag-asa makahanap ng ibang lalake na papatol sa yo? I'm sorry for the harsh words but I think it's what you need right now para matauhan ka na. Kawawa naman yung baby.. nadamay pa.. minalas siya nagkaron siya ng parents na mga genius. Sigh.

[introvertpixie]

Thank you so much for your messages. Naappreciate ko po yun. I was a little busy kaya Hindi po ko nakasagot agad.

Hindi ko Alam kung postpartum depression ba to because of what I did. I honestly can't afford to have a consultation sa psychiatrist whatsoever.

Thursday night, bigla na lang ako nagiiyak. I was with him noon. I can't speak ng maayos and sobrang Hindi ako makahinga. dati wala naman along ganitong nararamdaman. so akala ko sa hormone changes lang dahil sa pill. Pinakalma nya ko ng pinakalma magdamag and stayed with me until I can talk. it took me more than an hour to tell him bakit bigla na lang ako umiiyak and nauubusan ng hininga. He stayed up the whole night and tucked me in and make sure that I'm okay. I don't feel the need to go sa hospital nun pero I know I need someone to be with me at that point.

 I know mababaw to some and definitely it sounds stupid that I'm still with him. truth is, I need someone to be with me at this point eh.

I'm sorry if I'm not yet strong enough to leave and go through this on my own..

[may12]

@Introvertpixie, I know the feeling of holding on to someone kahit alam mong mali na dahil lang you feel so alone. Napagdaanan ko din yan. Yung tipong alam mong ang t**** mo na, pero hindi ka talaga maka-let go ng tuluyan.

Keep on praying lang, sis. And try to find friends na alam mong mapapagkatiwalaan mo talaga para may iba kang matakbuhan pag feeling mo eh ang lungkot-lungkot mo na. Discover new hobbies din. At ipangako mo sa sarili mo na sa first chance na magkaroon ka na kaya mo na talaga siya iwan, wag ka na magdalawang isip. Wag mong kalimutan ang mga rason kung bakit kailangan mo na siyang iwan.

[dismembered]

Thank you so much for your messages. Naappreciate ko po yun. I was a little busy kaya Hindi po ko nakasagot agad.

Hindi ko Alam kung postpartum depression ba to because of what I did. I honestly can't afford to have a consultation sa psychiatrist whatsoever.

Thursday night, bigla na lang ako nagiiyak. I was with him noon. I can't speak ng maayos and sobrang Hindi ako makahinga. dati wala naman along ganitong nararamdaman. so akala ko sa hormone changes lang dahil sa pill. Pinakalma nya ko ng pinakalma magdamag and stayed with me until I can talk. it took me more than an hour to tell him bakit bigla na lang ako umiiyak and nauubusan ng hininga. He stayed up the whole night and tucked me in and make sure that I'm okay. I don't feel the need to go sa hospital nun pero I know I need someone to be with me at that point.

 I know mababaw to some and definitely it sounds stupid that I'm still with him. truth is, I need someone to be with me at this point eh.

I'm sorry if I'm not yet strong enough to leave and go through this on my own..

Oh I wish we could be there for you. Bakit kasi ang hirap iwan ng isang tao kahit alam mo nang mali ang ginagawa sayo.

Yeah it could be the side effects of the pill, pero, effect din yan ng mga nangyari sayo before. You need someone by your side. Sana lang hindi lang si G@gong lalake ang pwede mo lapitan.

[iamlili]

Hi everyone. Sorry for posting this dilemma, wala kasi ako makita sa engagement thread.

My friend got engaged recently. Pero nag open up sya sakin, she told me na parang "too early" pa to get married. 2 years pa lang sila. Sinabi ko then bakit nya pa tinanggap proposal ni guy? She said ayaw nya lang daw mapahiya si bf. She told me naman na she loves him, okay sila both, wala naman problems. Pero for her, parang nakukulangan pa siya sa time. Ideal nya kasi to get married after 3-5 years. Kumbaga, ang reason nya, mas gusto niya pa makilala si guy ng lubusan, explore other places, etc. In short, marami pa siyang plano.

Ano bang magandang sabihin (of course in a nice way) dun sa bf nya na hindi ma ooffend? Ang gusto niya kasi mapa intindi sa bf nya eh kung pwedeng wag muna magpakasal agad?

[honeybunny]

^engaged pa lang naman,, u can just tell her to tell the BF to get married after 2-3 years pa saying u wanna do other stuff muna before settling down. i guess wala naman masama dun...

[simang]

^^i know a couple who had a 4-yr engagement. Si girl din ang nagpatagal kase she wants to build up her career muna. Nagtravel muna sila together, and then when the girl finally decided na gusto na nya ituloy ang wedding Eventually kinasal din naman sila, parang 4-5 months lang yata sila nagprepare.

what im saying is, it's okay to delay the wedding. Di naman kelangan pag naengaged eh kasalan na agad agad. But my concern with your friend is that ang iniisip nya is hindi nya pa ganun kakilala yung guy. That means, may hinahanap pa sya. That's a sign of doubt kase. The best thing for your friend to do is really assess kung gusto nya talaga makasama tong guy habang buhay. It's not even a question of when eh. Kase for me if you're certain about a person you wouldn't even ask yourself if it's right na tinanggap mo yung proposal. Ang siste kase eh they're on different pages -- the guy proposed coz he wants to marry the girl at this point in his life. The girl said yes but she doesn't want to marry the guy right now. Ang mahirap dyan, what if nakikala nya ng husto si guy and narealize nya na hindi nya pala gusto sya mapang asawa? Diba? When it comes to these things.. I'd say, doubt means no.

[j.adore]

ayaw nya lang daw mapahiya si bf.

mas gusto niya pa makilala si guy ng lubusan, explore other places



When in doubt, don't.
If at this point she's having trouble communicating with her fiancé, there's something wrong with her, the guy, or the relationship.

Pwede magbackfire yang delaying tactic of long engagement if she finds out later on that it's not about wanting more time rather it was just wrong to begin with.

Sorry.. Super red flag kasi na kakaengage pa lang eh jitters na agad tapos wrong reason pa to say yes. Then she talks to friends and not the fiancé so...

[budzwhiz]

If it really is just about time then wala namang masama mag-open up sya sa fiance nya. Hindi naman porket engaged na kelangan na ikasal agad agad. Ang dapat iaddress na issue ng friend is kung sure na ba sya doon sa guy. May point si sis simang, I THINK kasi kapag sure ka na talaga dun sa lalake, it wouldn't matter how long you've been together, or you've had plans of getting married year xxxx pa or what. Lahat yan ma-scratch out kasi ang maiisip mo na once he pops the question (and-- you say YES) e yung future nyo together. So kung may doubts pa si friend dun sa engagement thing, e baka it's not really about 'when'...
But if she's super sure na panahon lang talaga, then there shouldn't be any problem discussing it with the fiance. Again, hindi naman kailangan ikasal agad. Mahalaga na yung couple e parehong komportable sa kung kelan nila balak magpakasal. Wala naman atang namppressure sa engaged couple na magpakasal agad agad eh.

[iamlili]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. It's a big help especially for my friend. 

what im saying is, it's okay to delay the wedding. Di naman kelangan pag naengaged eh kasalan na agad agad. But my concern with your friend is that ang iniisip nya is hindi nya pa ganun kakilala yung guy. That means, may hinahanap pa sya. That's a sign of doubt kase.

Yes sis. Actually that's the plan that she was expecting nung una. I wasn't there nung surprise engagement party nila btw, but then her bf talked to her and he wants to get married within this year or early next year na daw. Medyo dun kasi na surprise si friend. She told me na para hindi ma spoil yung party, she kept mum na lang muna. Of course she was happy naman with the engagement, maybe it just so happen na nabigla lang sya? Honestly I don't know what to say to her. Iniisip ko na lang din na baka nabigla lang sya sa lahat ng nangyari, na baka hindi niya ineexpect yung mga ganun bagay.

When in doubt, don't.
If at this point she's having trouble communicating with her fiancé, there's something wrong with her, the guy, or the relationship.

Sorry.. Super red flag kasi na kakaengage pa lang eh jitters na agad tapos wrong reason pa to say yes. Then she talks to friends and not the fiancé so...

It's not that she's having trouble communicating. Right after kasi nung proposal nila, her bf told her he wants to get married this year or early next year. Ayaw nya lang ma spoil yung party that time so pinalipas niya na lang muna yun. The day after that dun niya kasi ako nakausap, syempre ako tanong to the max and super excited, tapos dun niya na namention yung mga bagay na yun. Ang nasabi ko na lang sa kanya, kausapin niya si bf since I'm sure maiintindihan naman din ng bf nya yun.

If it really is just about time then wala namang masama mag-open up sya sa fiance nya. Hindi naman porket engaged na kelangan na ikasal agad agad. Ang dapat iaddress na issue ng friend is kung sure na ba sya doon sa guy.
But if she's super sure na panahon lang talaga, then there shouldn't be any problem discussing it with the fiance. Again, hindi naman kailangan ikasal agad.

Tama sis. Medyo dun din kasi ako na bother, na nung nabanggit nya "mas gusto ko pa kilalanin din" dun na rin ako nag alala para sa kanya. That's what I want to tell her, kung aside sa panahon e sure na sure na rin ba siya kay guy. Btw she's 25 and the guy is 32 na.


Again, thank you so much mga sis. 

[Cheonsa.Maggie]

Question: nagseself pity rin ba ang mga lalaki? What I mean yung tipong may nagawa nga na kasalanan. Pinatawad mo naman kasi mahal mo sya. Mahal ka rin nya pero sasabihin nya na ayaw na nya makasakit. Naguguluhan ako kung instead of fixing things bakit nagseself pity pa. Wala lang tanong lang po.

[17glut]

^oo, mga pa-drama epek na parang mga bata na nagmamaktol para makuha ang gusto at hindi na humaba usapan/away.

[dismembered]

Question: nagseself pity rin ba ang mga lalaki? What I mean yung tipong may nagawa nga na kasalanan. Pinatawad mo naman kasi mahal mo sya. Mahal ka rin nya pero sasabihin nya na ayaw na nya makasakit. Naguguluhan ako kung instead of fixing things bakit nagseself pity pa. Wala lang tanong lang po.

Pwede din namang sobrang bait mo kasi. Gusto nya na magalit ka kahit papano sa kanya para naman hindi sya maguilty.

[Girltalker2]

Para sakin, naiinis ako sa self pity na wala sa lugar. Nakaka turn off at nakakatamad kasama/kausap.

[Cheonsa.Maggie]

@dismembered

Sabi nga nya, dapat sigawan ko sya, magalit ako, magmura ako sa kanya. Pero lahat kabaligtaran eh, inintindi ko sya, sinusuportahan ko sya kung anong gusto nya. Siguro nga naguguilty sya pero anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko kaya magalit eh. Although naiinis ako sa pagseself pity nya.


@girltaker2

Nakakainis nga pero mas nangingibabaw yung pagmamahal ko eh.. Lol

[dismembered]

Sabi nga nya, dapat sigawan ko sya, magalit ako, magmura ako sa kanya. Pero lahat kabaligtaran eh, inintindi ko sya, sinusuportahan ko sya kung anong gusto nya. Siguro nga naguguilty sya pero anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko kaya magalit eh. Although naiinis ako sa pagseself pity nya.

Question: Yung self-pity nya ba eh umaabot na sa point na gusto ka na nyang hiwalayan dahil feeling nya hindi nya ikaw deserve? Kung hindi pa naman umaabot sa ganung level, you can considered that as an annoyance lang. Makakalimutan nya din yan basta wag mo na lang i-bring up ulit yung pagkakamali sa future at limutin mo na kung gusto mo ding malimutan nya. Minsan nagagawa ng guy yan kasi gusto nya ipakita din kung gaano nya pinagsisisihan yung nagawa nya.

Wala ka magagawa kung ganyan sya. Kausapin mo na lang. Sabihin mo mas masasaktan ka kung mawala sya sayo kesa sa nagawa nyang kasalanan sayo kaya hindi mo kayang magalit. Sabihin mo na sana intindihin ka din nya at ayaw mo syang mag self-pity kasi feel bad ka din kapag ganun ang ginagawa nya. Sakyan mo lang ang drama!

[misslovelyjoy]

If the girl let someone, who isn't her boyfriend, kiss her mukha na ba siyang cheap? Though sa panahon ngayon eh casual nalang ang makipagkiss, the girl is conservative kasi. No kiss, no touch lalo na hindi naman sila ni guy at wala silang commitment.

[simang]

^yes

[red_yesha]

^^which part ba? haha charot!
Oo ang sagot