Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 6)

[amethyst028]

need your pov in this one:

met a guy, we dated for 2 months things were going great then bigla na lang hindi na siya nagparamdam. in short he disappeared. we go to the same gym so nagkikita kame minsan mga 4x hi and hello then bye. as if we are strangers.

after a month of no communication bigla siya nangamusta sa text. i replied naman. then every now and then he would text me. sa gym naman he always teases me and pag may grouping lagi niya ako pinipili ka group. pero hanggang ganun lang interaction namin.

we went out one time to catch up. the reason why he disappeared daw is madami siyang problem and kailangan niya muna sort out. after that he hasn't asked me out again. pero nagkikita kame sa gym and we are training under the same coach for a competition.

ano kaya trip niya sa buhay? does he even like me. o baka naghahanap siya ng ka friends with benefits. im ok with friends lang since we are in the same industry, we have plans of working together next year, then we are training together now sa sports. pero ayoko ng anything sexual kasi hindi ko carry mga ganung set up.

thanks in advance sa mga mag re-reply. and happy holidays na din sa inyo mga gt members. 

[jtansanco]

^ You're probably not his type and it took him two months to weigh it in his mind. FWB setup? I don't think so. Like you said, you guys see each other all the time. I doubt that's his intention. Sad to say but, in my opinion, you got friendzoned.

[fredprinz]

Hi amethyst028!

Jtansanco is right. Best guess is he went out with you to determine if he's gonna be attracted to you or not. If his intentions are something sexual, he would've given hints or made advances. Yes, sad to say, you are in his friend zone now.

Besides, kung may problem nga siya, won't you be the best person to talk to about it? Kahit hindi siya magbigay ng details, ikaw 'yung best person na pwede niya makausap and the best shoulder to cry on, ika nga.

He likes you, kasi friends kayo, but he doesn't like you in a romantic manner. Kung may nagustuhan man siya sa'yo before at tumagal ng 2 months yung pagde-date niyo, there's probably something about you (ugali mo man or ginawa or what have you) that made him feel you're unattractive na.

Don't think about it and move on. 

[dismembered]

need your pov in this one:

met a guy, we dated for 2 months things were going great then bigla na lang hindi na siya nagparamdam. in short he disappeared. we go to the same gym so nagkikita kame minsan mga 4x hi and hello then bye. as if we are strangers.

after a month of no communication bigla siya nangamusta sa text. i replied naman. then every now and then he would text me. sa gym naman he always teases me and pag may grouping lagi niya ako pinipili ka group. pero hanggang ganun lang interaction namin.

we went out one time to catch up. the reason why he disappeared daw is madami siyang problem and kailangan niya muna sort out. after that he hasn't asked me out again. pero nagkikita kame sa gym and we are training under the same coach for a competition.

ano kaya trip niya sa buhay? does he even like me. o baka naghahanap siya ng ka friends with benefits. im ok with friends lang since we are in the same industry, we have plans of working together next year, then we are training together now sa sports. pero ayoko ng anything sexual kasi hindi ko carry mga ganung set up.

thanks in advance sa mga mag re-reply. and happy holidays na din sa inyo mga gt members. 

Did he found out na gusto mo sya? May nang-asar ba o natsismis ba kayo? Or may nagawa ka bang nag-cause sa kanya para medyo mag-stay away para mag lay low dahil na-feel nya na baka umasa ka at masaktan ka nya?

Pwedeng hindi pa sya ready for commitment or anything else. He just want to be friends with you pero baka during those times na sabi mo "we're doing great" eh medyo na-pressure sya sa iyo na baka umasa ka or something. Alam mo yun?

[fredprinz]

Possible din yung sinabi ni Dismembered.

Were you guys dating exclusively? Maraming factors eh. Pero one thing is for sure, if he likes you A LOT, NOTHING can make him stay away from you. Rare ang complicated guy sa ganyang stage, magrereklamo usually ang girls pag naging boyfriend niyo na kame. =P

So yeah, it may be something you did or did not do OR probably something about the way you looked that made him think twice about being romantically linked with you.

My suggestion, huwag mo nang isipin, don't complicate things. If you like him, well that's life, not everything you want/need is given to you. But always stay POSITIVE.

[amethyst028]

thanks sa mga replies guys. but why is he still texting me? when we went out he kissed me many times sa car, i kept pushing him away.  gusto niya may mangyari but i don't want to kaya ko nasabi na fwb lang ata gusto niya. he was also saying na mag boracay kame next year kasi may free room siya then magka baby,  maybe to lead me on or something. he also says that he missed me. pero tingin ko he is only saying that para maka score. and when i declined hindi na siya nag invite ulit lumabas.

he often stares at me sa gym and he also keeps looking at my legs pag naka shorts ako. he would touch my hand or shoulder and would ask kung ok lang ako pag intense yung workout.

Possible din yung sinabi ni Dismembered.
My suggestion, huwag mo nang isipin, don't complicate things. If you like him, well that's life, not everything you want/need is given to you. But always stay POSITIVE.

i guess i should not overthink and let things be na lang. i would be ok kung friends lang kame. that's so much easier. lagi niya kasi ako tine-text ng kamusta?, for me i already got over  him when he disappeared wala nako paki alam sa kanya. but then he had to come back para guluhin na naman isip ko.

one more question: is it possible na maging close friend niyo yung tao na naka date niyo pero hindi nag work? for me kasi i want us to be friends. and we have a better chance kung wala talagang attraction right? also in-add niya ko sa fb pero dati nung nag de-date kame hindi. does it mean friendzoned?

[dismembered]

thanks sa mga replies guys. but why is he still texting me? when we went out he kissed me many times sa car, i kept pushing him away.  gusto niya may mangyari but i don't want to kaya ko nasabi na fwb lang ata gusto niya. he was also saying na mag boracay kame next year kasi may free room siya then magka baby,  maybe to lead me on or something. he also says that he missed me. pero tingin ko he is only saying that para maka score. and when i declined hindi na siya nag invite ulit lumabas.

he often stares at me sa gym and he also keeps looking at my legs pag naka shorts ako. he would touch my hand or shoulder and would ask kung ok lang ako pag intense yung workout.

i guess i should not overthink and let things be na lang. i would be ok kung friends lang kame. that's so much easier. lagi niya kasi ako tine-text ng kamusta?, for me i already got over  him when he disappeared wala nako paki alam sa kanya. but then he had to come back para guluhin na naman isip ko.

one more question: is it possible na maging close friend niyo yung tao na naka date niyo pero hindi nag work? for me kasi i want us to be friends. and we have a better chance kung wala talagang attraction right? also in-add niya ko sa fb pero dati nung nag de-date kame hindi. does it mean friendzoned?

If that's how you view what happened, then I think I should congratulate you for dodging the bullet. It may or may not be part of his game, but what's more important here is that, you didn't fall for that and you didn't regret your choice.

To be fair with him,siguro he disappeared kasi nahiya sa mga pinaggagagawa nya and now tingin nya nakalimutan mo na? Pero syempre, given na inalis mo yung hope nya na makaka score sayo, eh hindi na gagawa yun ng effort ulit para magbakasakali. Hanggang pangarap na lang. Lol.

[jtansanco]

@amethyst028 - Bed action habol niyan for sure. You rejected him and he keeps on bugging you. That's how guys are. He sees you as a challenge that's why he keeps on trying until he can score. I guess he'll always fantasize about you in the gym. 

[simang]

^true. Yan ang hirap pag live-in situation. No matter how long you've been together, you have no guarantee. You have no security. Anytime the guy can just up and leave. Unlike if you're married na, at least may iisipin na legal implications

But i'd rather be with a guy who actually wants and chooses to be with me than to have someone who stays just because of the legalities. Same with the guy who can just go and leave anytime, pwede din naman yun gawin ng babae in this situation.

To answer the question, yes the guy is thinking of leaving. Hindi necessary na may ibang babae. Pwedeng nagsasawa lang.

[dismembered]

But i'd rather be with a guy who actually wants and chooses to be with me than to have someone who stays just because of the legalities. Same with the guy who can just go and leave anytime, pwede din naman yun gawin ng babae in this situation.

To answer the question, yes the guy is thinking of leaving. Hindi necessary na may ibang babae. Pwedeng nagsasawa lang.

Proteksyon din kasi yung legality na meron sa marriage. Lahat ng tao may capability magloko. At least madadagdagan yung reasons nya para mapigilan sya mag loko. Practically, pag kasal ka at nagloko yung lalake, need nya pa din magbigay ng sustento, at syempre conjugal property. There will always be a phase in a relationship na parang ayaw mo na or wala kang gana. Looking back on this legalities, help the guy resolves his issues. Kaya ginawang batas para sa both party magbenefit, unless sa umpisa pa lang eh plano mo naman talaga magloko, eh di wag nga magpakasal.

[wanderbrewha]

@amethyst028 please don't waste your time with someone who keeps you hanging, no one has the right to do that to anyone. the guy is probably keeping you under his radar just in case (i presume) someone drop him. you know the mean time girl.

[Girltalker2]

Naku magandang debate iyan. Totoo bang marriage keep couples together? Maybe true. But does it keep couples HAPPY together? Most often, hindi.

Napansin ko lang, pag kasal na, madalas nagiging complacent yung couple. Mas madalas yung guy din. Kasi kahit magloko sya, alam nya di sya iiwan ng wife kasi kasal sila. Kaya ok lang din mambabae. Ang hirap kaya makipag hiwalay.

While may katotohanan sa argument ni poisonivy - marriage keeps couples from separating, it also promotes loveless marriages full of deceit/anger/resentment - especially if one or both are not ready.  Kaya minsan mas mabuti na huwag ikasal lalo na kung di siguro ang isa, kesa kinasal nga, hiwalayan din or pagka suklam sa isa't isa naman ang ending.

[dismembered]

Naku magandang debate iyan. Totoo bang marriage keep couples together? Maybe true. But does it keep couples HAPPY together? Most often, hindi.

Napansin ko lang, pag kasal na, madalas nagiging complacent yung couple. Mas madalas yung guy din. Kasi kahit magloko sya, alam nya di sya iiwan ng wife kasi kasal sila. Kaya ok lang din mambabae. Ang hirap kaya makipag hiwalay.

While may katotohanan sa argument ni poisonivy - marriage keeps couples from separating, it also promotes loveless marriages full of deceit/anger/resentment - especially if one or both are not ready.  Kaya minsan mas mabuti na huwag ikasal lalo na kung di siguro ang isa, kesa kinasal nga, hiwalayan din or pagka suklam sa isa't isa naman ang ending.

Define LOVE and HAPPINESS???

Iba iba kasi ang pananaw ng tao, iba iba din ang reasons ng marriage. So tama ka, kung di ka sure sa partner mo, wag mong pakasalan, pero unfair din. Wag naman bakuran. Hanap na lang ng iba. Baka kasi merong nakapila at naghihintay na willing ibigay lahat at pakasalan ang babae, pero ikaw, bilang lalaki, todo bakod wala naman balak pakasalan tapos naghihintay pa si babae.

May statistics ba tayo? Ilabas na yan! Pero ako, dun talaga ako sa marriage, mas mabuti yung tanggapin ang consequences ng legality, katulad ng pag reap ng benefits nito.

[melle17]

^^ I definitely agree with you sis! hirap talaga makipaghiwalay kaya sobrang sisi ko na nagpakasal ako sa isang a**hole!

[dismembered]

^^ bro! I'm not a sis!

Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat. People can still change. Sana mauntog na sya, at baka sakali magbago at marealize ang mga responsibilities nya. Pag hindi, sana mauntog lang ng mauntog hanggang tumino.

[simang]

^bro dismembered i believe sis melle was replyin to sis Girltalker. And if i'm not mistaken sis melle is already annuled (or separated, i'm not very sure hehe)

Iba iba kasi ang pananaw ng tao, iba iba din ang reasons ng marriage. So tama ka, kung di ka sure sa partner mo, wag mong pakasalan, pero unfair din. Wag naman bakuran. Hanap na lang ng iba. Baka kasi merong nakapila at naghihintay na willing ibigay lahat at pakasalan ang babae, pero ikaw, bilang lalaki, todo bakod wala naman balak pakasalan tapos naghihintay pa si babae.

May statistics ba tayo? Ilabas na yan! Pero ako, dun talaga ako sa marriage, mas mabuti yung tanggapin ang consequences ng legality, katulad ng pag reap ng benefits nito.

I think ganito ang situation then ni sis girltalker. May issue na ng infidelity mag bf/gf pa lang, but just to prove na magbabago si guy, nagyaya pa ng kasal. As if it was the way to stop the philandering. Unfortunately, everything got worse after the marriage. Nagcontinue ang pangbababae, so mas mahirap kumawala, mas matagal, mas magastos. Sorry sis girltalker, ako talaga nagkwemto ng story mo lol

I am all for marriage. I am in fact engaged, and am excited to build a life with my partner. I just don't see the point of holding on to the legalities of it just because. Yung tipong napakamiserable mo na pero you can't leave dahil mahal mag pa annul, or mas convenient kung magkasama kayo, or kung anuman. I am all for marriage, of a union and partnership that is built on love and trust and respect and all the good happy stuff.

[Girltalker2]

I think ganito ang situation then ni sis girltalker. May issue na ng infidelity mag bf/gf pa lang, but just to prove na magbabago si guy, nagyaya pa ng kasal. As if it was the way to stop the philandering. Unfortunately, everything got worse after the marriage. Nagcontinue ang pangbababae, so mas mahirap kumawala, mas matagal, mas magastos. Sorry sis girltalker, ako talaga nagkwemto ng story mo lol

Hi sis, nope. Di iyan ako hehe

When we were bf/gf of more than 10 years, walang signs of philandering. My friends even boto sa kanya na he is a good catch. It was only staying in one roof, yun na prove nya na sa kanya ako, tsaka sya nagkaron ng babae. 

Though BF/GF, there could have signs of "love of self" na hindi ko pinansin. 

But to be honest, sa pinas, parang walang benefits ang legalities ng marriage.  Kasi ina-allow din nman nya maglipana ng anak sa labas yung lalaki, to the point pa na ibigay nya ang sirname nya sa mga anak sa labas.  Anong laban ng wife - wala. Ang tanging laban nya is to walk away, even empty handed at times, or worse, baka ikaw pa hinuthutan nung lalaki. Tingnan mo ng si James Yap, lalo pang yumaman after separating with Kris, eh sya nga dyan ang nambabae e.

[simang]

^lol jk di pala ikaw yun haha

[pretty_B]

hi guy talkers! ask lang po. paano nyo nasasabi na PSYCHO ang girl? O.o

[dismembered]

^bro dismembered i believe sis melle was replyin to sis Girltalker. And if i'm not mistaken sis melle is already annuled (or separated, i'm not very sure hehe)

Bakit ba sa dinami dami ng pwedeng nick, girltalker din ang nick? Look at my avi, nakasulat na din na girltalker ako 

I am all for marriage. I am in fact engaged, and am excited to build a life with my partner. I just don't see the point of holding on to the legalities of it just because. Yung tipong napakamiserable mo na pero you can't leave dahil mahal mag pa annul, or mas convenient kung magkasama kayo, or kung anuman. I am all for marriage, of a union and partnership that is built on love and trust and respect and all the good happy stuff.

Same tayo sis (ang awkward tumawag ng sis) medyo. Lubusin na dapat habang bf/gf days pa lang. If may makita kayong ayaw nyo or hindi tugma sa gusto nyo, wag nyong asahan na mababago yun someday. You marry someone for who he is today not for who he is going to be.

Pero like what I've said, pag kasal na, parang sa chess, touch move na eh. You all have the options to probe during bf/gf days, at kung may tendency talagang magloko si lalake, o alam mong t******* talaga, eh sana di na tinuloy. Minsan kasi fault din talaga natin, mahirap talaga, dahil umibig tayo at hindi na natin iniisip ang possibilities. Pero katulad ng ang lahat ng bagay may good at consequences, I think part din ng consequences ng maling choices natin yung miserable marriage dahil sa pinili natin yung maling tao. We promised na til death do us part eh. bilang lalake, kapag yung asawa ko, hindi maibigay ang gusto ko, like hindi magkaanak? or frigid? Unfair din naman pag iiwan ko yung girl. ahhhh ewan, bakit ko ba sinasabi ito? Kaya ako hindi magasa-asawa agad dahil sinisigurado ko eh. Kaya wag kayo siguraduhin nyo din muna.

But to be honest, sa pinas, parang walang benefits ang legalities ng marriage.  Kasi ina-allow din nman nya maglipana ng anak sa labas yung lalaki, to the point pa na ibigay nya ang sirname nya sa mga anak sa labas.  Anong laban ng wife - wala. Ang tanging laban nya is to walk away, even empty handed at times, or worse, baka ikaw pa hinuthutan nung lalaki. Tingnan mo ng si James Yap, lalo pang yumaman after separating with Kris, eh sya nga dyan ang nambabae e.

Sad but true! Kainis na gobyerno ito eh. Kaya madaming single moms din, kahit gusto maghabol ng sustento sa asawa, hindi na din magawa dahil sa hirap ng proseso. Kaya ang mga tar@ntadong lalake, uulit at uulit lang ng kalokohan nila kasi hindi sila na penalized.