Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 6)

[Girltalker2]

may kadate lagi yun guy friend ko. Masaya daw siya kapag kasama nya ang girl. Araw araw halos magkasama sila, pero kapag tinatanong ko un friend ko kung mahal nya ang babae, sabi niya hindi daw. Masaya lang daw siya kapag kasama nya yung babae. Bakit may ganon? Masaya ka with someone, you always want to be with that person, pero hanggang ganon lang. Hindi nadedevelop into love.

I think this is especially true for guys. Hindi naman basta basta ka-date, love na agad e.  For women kasi, puedeng hindi love at the start, pero may tendency kasi tayo ma-fall sa guy na lagi nating kasama. at least to my mind ha.  Kaya ending, kung yung guy hindi nagfall sayo, tapos ikaw lang ang nagkagusto sa kanya, labas mo heart broken ka. 

Kaya for single ladies, ang lagi kong payo is do multiple dating, nang sa gayon, mas makilala nyo sarili nyo (anong type mo etc), tapos ma compare nyo din different guys para masabi mo ano ang mas gusto ninyo character/trait, etc.  And in the end, hati ang attention mo therefore you won't easily fall for someone na hindi din naman ganun ang feelings for you.

[fredprinz]

Some guys are void of emotions, lalo na if they're seeing a lot of women na casual dating lang and not romantically going out with them.

That's normal and I don't see anything wrong with that as long as he's being straightforward and honest with you and the girl. Basta't 'wag lang magiging overly sweet 'yung guy. There's this saying a girl friend told me, "Don't be sweet to someone you can't love."

And your guy friend may be seeing other women; he may be a serial dater like me.

may kadate lagi yun guy friend ko. Masaya daw siya kapag kasama nya ang girl. Araw araw halos magkasama sila, pero kapag tinatanong ko un friend ko kung mahal nya ang babae, sabi niya hindi daw. Masaya lang daw siya kapag kasama nya yung babae. Bakit may ganon? Masaya ka with someone, you always want to be with that person, pero hanggang ganon lang. Hindi nadedevelop into love.

[slickchick]

may I ask bakit yon ibang guys nananakit ng partner nila physically or verbally? How could you? nakakainis lang yon mga ganon lalaki

my ex was like that sis.. as in nananakit physically and verbally.. andun nasampal ako and napilipit braso ko.. when his mom discovered, humingi sya ng apology at pasesya sa akin.. ang reason na sinabi nya sa akin, mainitin daw ulo ng anak dahil na-tipus (typhoid ata ito) daw.. of course, i don't think it's a valid reason.. yung physical and verbal abuse ang main reason why i broke up with him...

[simang]

^sis natawa ko sa na-tipus. Naalala ko kase joke to ng mga matatanda sa amin dati. Na pag malabo kausap or baliw baliwan yung tao, sasabihin nila na-tipus daw. Haha!

Anyway to answer the question, some guys are talagang hot tempered at impatient. Pwedeng sa kinalakihan, or pwedeng talagang nakakaimbyeran lang yung partner nya to the nth level.

I appreciate guys who tend to silence themselves during fights. Ibig sabihin he's trying to be more patient, and he's trying his best to not say or do anything hurtful.

[ohcmon]

Asking this for my officemate. Nakakasawa na paulit-ulit siya mag-whine sa amin dito, wala kasi kaming guy officemates masyado so I kind of need your POVs.

She's in a 10-year live-in relationship with her bf, tapos this year super rocky ng relationship nila. Puro away, etong si guy lagi ginagabi ng uwi, she's been suspecting na may ibang babae na. Last night daw he asks her what she's gonna do if he leaves her. Ibig daw bang sabihin nun nag-iisip na si guy na iwan siya, and I said maybe, but what do I know.

Opinions po, please. Para matahimik na siya dito sa opisina namin. Lol

[twix01]

@slickchick @simang hello sissies! grabe lang kasi lalo na yon psychological abuse.. feeling mo forever mo na maiisip yon sad lang.. nway speaking of tipus baka nga kasi sort of may pagkabipolar x ko.

[dismembered]

Asking this for my officemate. Nakakasawa na paulit-ulit siya mag-whine sa amin dito, wala kasi kaming guy officemates masyado so I kind of need your POVs.

She's in a 10-year live-in relationship with her bf, tapos this year super rocky ng relationship nila. Puro away, etong si guy lagi ginagabi ng uwi, she's been suspecting na may ibang babae na. Last night daw he asks her what she's gonna do if he leaves her. Ibig daw bang sabihin nun nag-iisip na si guy na iwan siya, and I said maybe, but what do I know.

Opinions po, please. Para matahimik na siya dito sa opisina namin. Lol

I'm afraid na yung mga hinala nyo ay totoo.

Maraming possibilities. Iba iba style din kasi ng mga lalake. Usually, tama yung mga hinala ng partner kapag ganyan. Kasi sila naman talaga ang nakakakilala.

Ang feeling ko, may possibility na humiwalay nga yung lalake. Dahil nandun na yung thought sa kanya (he even asks his partner about it). Siguro nahihirapan din si guy pano gawin yung kasi nga, 10 years na. Kung nanonood kayo ng "Two wives", merong katotohanan doon sa mga nangyayari sa lalake.

On the positive side, hangga't hindi nya pa nagagawang umalis, meron pang chance na hindi mangyari yun. Things could still be turned around. Wag lang panghinaan ng loob ang friend mo na merong thought na ganyan sa BF nya. Pumapasok lang talaga ang mga ganyan sa utak ng tao kahit girl naman eh. Pero ang mahalaga, despite the thought eh mag-stay sya at pigilan nyang wag mangyari yun. Baka phase lang or whatever.

[wanderbrewha]

@ochmon if that happens, ako unang matutuwa 

hmn. wait bago ako masita ng mods. 

parang wala akong masasabi na pwedeng ikatuwa officemate mo, pero maghanda na sya. 

or mag-initiate na sya na pag-usapan nila. 10 years is 10 years, though nangyayari naman na at one point naa-outgrow natin yung mga tao sa paligid natin, regardless kung may third party o wala.
hindi ba pumasok sa isip nila yung kasal? o magkaanak?

[p0isonIvy]

^true. Yan ang hirap pag live-in situation. No matter how long you've been together, you have no guarantee. You have no security. Anytime the guy can just up and leave. Unlike if you're married na, at least may iisipin na legal implications

I'm just wondering why the girl consented sa situation for so long. Sayang lang because if the guy leaves, gone are the ten years na din which could have been spent with some other guy who is willing to marry her.

[slickchick]

^sis natawa ko sa na-tipus. Naalala ko kase joke to ng mga matatanda sa amin dati. Na pag malabo kausap or baliw baliwan yung tao, sasabihin nila na-tipus daw. Haha!

ayy sis, i swear kung hindi lang may edad na yung mom ni ex, i would have told her "talaga lang po ahhh.. " ... with matching seesaw ng kilay.. hahaha! 

@slickchick @simang hello sissies! grabe lang kasi lalo na yon psychological abuse.. feeling mo forever mo na maiisip yon sad lang.. nway speaking of tipus baka nga kasi sort of may pagkabipolar x ko.

well sis.. nasa lakas ng loob at support system din naman ng girl yun.. if she knows naman na she did what she could for the relationship, and alam naman nya na hindi totoo yung mga sinasabi ng bf/partner nya whenever he verbally abuses her, i think naman makaka-recover agad yung girl nun.. gamitin nya yung inis or anger nya para maka-move on sya agad at kalimutan si guy.. heheh.. just my POV sis..   

[fredprinz]

The guy is thinking of leaving her.

For me, it's not about the length of the relationship or whether she's my fiance or live-in partner, pag ayoko na, ayoko na. May times na napupuno or nasasakal ang lalake - pwedeng kame ang mali, pwedeng partners namen.

Open communication is vital. Wala naman masama sa magandang usapan. It takes two to tango; you can't save a relationship if the other one is not willing to sacrifice/contribute.

[dismembered]

I agree


Pero sana yung communication na maganap eh hindi para sa decision na lang ng GUY na accept ng girl. Sana sa communication na magaganap eh open pa rin ang both party na mabago ang plans based sa usapan. Usually kasi pag ganito ang case, maguusap na lang dahil may gusto ng umalis ng GUY na dapat tanggapin na lang ng girl. Sana naman may choice pa din si girl na baguhin ang decision ni GUY. Unfair lang. Oh well, unfair naman yata talaga lahat ng breakup conversations.

[Girltalker2]

^true. Yan ang hirap pag live-in situation. No matter how long you've been together, you have no guarantee. You have no security. Anytime the guy can just up and leave. Unlike if you're married na, at least may iisipin na legal implications

I'm just wondering why the girl consented sa situation for so long. Sayang lang because if the guy leaves, gone are the ten years na din which could have been spent with some other guy who is willing to marry her.

Minsan kasi depende sa situation. May iba married before at walang pera pa-annul, so couples just decide to live in. 

Hindi sa jinu-justify ko ang live in, pero minsan parang better sya if things don't work out, kasi wala na kayong aasikasuhin kundi umiyak lang.  Pero kung kasal kayo and this happened, parang ang bigat bigat ng burden mo, at kelangan ka pa humanap ng lakas para ayusin ang legalities.

Pero sana yung communication na maganap eh hindi para sa decision na lang ng GUY na accept ng girl. Sana sa communication na magaganap eh open pa rin ang both party na mabago ang plans based sa usapan. Usually kasi pag ganito ang case, maguusap na lang dahil may gusto ng umalis ng GUY na dapat tanggapin na lang ng girl. Sana naman may choice pa din si girl na baguhin ang decision ni GUY. Unfair lang. Oh well, unfair naman yata talaga lahat ng breakup conversations.

I agree, pero this communication should have happened long before, before the guy even entertained the thought of being with another woman.

Communication should always be open. Ang hirap sa mga lalaki (well most of them sa Pinas), hirap mag express kung ano ang nararamdaman nila. Parang hindi na develop yung isang side ng brain nila habang lumalaki sila - to say what they feel and think. Kaya kapag may issue ang couples, lalayas nalang si lalaki at hahanap ng ibang babae na masarap kasama, where he can share his woes with his current partner, etc. Dun nagstart lahat mag develop. Then the only time magsasalita sya is kung aalis na talaga sya sa current relationship. 

This, I call, irresponsibility.  Being in a relationship, kelangan responsible ka to TAKE CARE of it. Hindi yung hahayaan mo lang na kung ano puede mangyari, wait for things to just unfold, hanggang sa maipit ka sa dalawang ilog at magcheat.

 

[jazzlawyer]

i get confused with the fact that some men like their partner to be submissive. ayaw ninyo din naman ng clingy and want your partner to be confident and independent. ano ba talaga kuya?  upto what extent ba ang submissiveness ang gusto ninyo?

[jtansanco]

^ Submissive... Someone who doesn't order the guy around. Someone who follows what the guy says and doesn't argue all the time. Someone who allows us to be a man show our masculinity in the relationship. Someone who's like a dog.... Wait, bad comparison ata. Haha

[graezieylicious]

Do guys really want a woman who can dominate them with her sexual and feminine  powers?

[jazzlawyer]

^ Submissive... Someone who doesn't order the guy around. Someone who follows what the guy says and doesn't argue all the time. Someone who allows us to be a man show our masculinity in the relationship. Someone who's like a dog.... Wait, bad comparison ata. Haha

meaning, a pushover? 

[fredprinz]

Tama ka JazzLawyer, some guys don't want clingy partners and ayaw ng ibang guys na parang kame na lang yung buhay ng babae.

My preference is a submissive woman in bed but confident and independent out of it, dominant kasi ako sa kama eh. If you'll listen to Ne-Yo's Miss Independent, that's the perfect description of my ideal woman.

i get confused with the fact that some men like their partner to be submissive. ayaw ninyo din naman ng clingy and want your partner to be confident and independent. ano ba talaga kuya?  upto what extent ba ang submissiveness ang gusto ninyo?

[jtansanco]

^^ Nah, just don't pick fights with us all the time. Maybe like 75% yes girl, 25% tell us something on your mind. Can't explain. Haha.

Do guys really want a woman who can dominate them with her sexual and feminine  powers?

Not for me. I don't mind if the girl is a dead fish as long as she's satisfied with my "service".

[simang]

i get confused with the fact that some men like their partner to be submissive. ayaw ninyo din naman ng clingy and want your partner to be confident and independent. ano ba talaga kuya?  upto what extent ba ang submissiveness ang gusto ninyo?

Hmm, feel ko pwede ka kasing maging independent and confident, at the same time make your man still feel needed. There are those modern independent women na may aura na cocky eh. Meron din naman na feminine and soft and gentle pa rin, hence a guy can still feel na they can be submissive to him. So maybe it's being both independent and feminine and submissive that they want