nakakainggit yung mga couples na masaya, na complete. alam mo naman na i longed for a complete family.
i love you. you know that. i gave you everything, my life, myself, my everything. i did not save anything for me or for the people around me. i made you my priority. my world revolved around you. you hurt me the first time but i still chose to love you even if everybody told me not to because they saw me devastated, they saw me change, they saw me almost die... but i chose to ignore them and be my stubborn self... after all, it is still my decision, this is still my heart.
there was uncertainty but i learned to be contented to what you where just giving me. i learned not to ask even if i wanted to. i tried to be happy and for everytime you spent with me, i was so happy. you saw that i always chose you. you know that i would always be here for you. there were so many questions in my mind but i chose not to ask. i chose to ignore them or sometimes just answer them. i always made excuses for you for your behavior.
remember, i kept on asking you, but you always said no and none. i know you were lying but i never got the courage to confront you. why? coz it scared the hell out of me that you might just disappear just like what you did before... leave me hanging. i cannot afford that anymore, i cannot afford to have my heart broken again, i cannot afford to die again.
but what did you do? you hurt me again. just like that. you chose to do that. you chose to betray my trust or whatever's left of it. you didn't even think about our child. that is pure selfishness. you know that what you did was not normal, let alone right. when i found out, i was trembling. i could not sleep. i could not eat. well. until now i still cannot eat.
it's like you destroyed me all over again. you broke my heart. yes, you destroyed me all over again. unlike before, this time i just cried. cried so hard. i just told a few close friends... their advise was for me to forget about you. you know, they are right. i am smart, pretty and still have a life to live, a future to build. you, on the other hand, do not know what you want, i do not know what you want. it really hurts. i am running out of words on how to express what i feel. where am i going to start? i try to smile, i need to smile but i cant force myself to.
i cannot feel anything anymore but i am wondering why tears just automatically falls down. i thought i already ran out of tears... i guess i was wrong.
