Mausyoso at nakikialam na ina

[kinkytinch]

Mga sis and bro, I just need another opinion.

I'm a private person. I'm the type who gets really offended if you open my mail, credit card bills, and everything addressed to me.

Recently I learned that my mother opened my cc bill. Galit na naiinis ako. Told her na 'Mahirap ba bigyan ako ng konting privacy?'. Btw, this is not the 1st time na ginawa nya ito.

All cards on the table..I'm still living at their house but pay my own bills.

Am I overreacting? Do my parents have the right to do that to me? May right ba ako magalit?

If you were in my position, what would you have done? If it did happen to you na, how did you handle it?

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

sis, are you working na ba? baka pwedeng sa office mo na lang ipasend mail/bills mo na ayaw mo mabasa ng mama mo?

matigas ulo ko, ayaw ko nang napagsasabihan at nauutusan kaya umalis kagad din ako sa bahay shortly after graduation. yes mahirap magrent and i miss my mom always pero i prioritize my peace of mind and kesa naman nasa isang bahay nga kami pero away kami ng away.

[kinkytinch]

^Just to clarify sis, are you saying that 'Their house, Their rules' applies to this situation as well?

[chicafabulosa]

To begin with di ka overreacting. Its normal to get pissed specially if someone tried invade your privacy. Pero maybe your mom thinks since you live in their house, their rules. Lets face it, until now maraming parents ang ganun mag isip. For them if you live in their house, they can invade your privacy. If ganun napi feel mo why not just send all your bills sa office nyo in that way di nya napapakialaman right. And number two, if you can afford, why not live on your own para talagang di ka na nila mapapakialaman. I am telling you this because i was once like you. Even I pay every bills sa house, my mom used to think she can dictate me and even invade my own space. So now I am living alone with my family di na nya ako mapakialaman. Sometimes, we just need to do something drastic in order for us to solve our problems. In your case, ayaw mo pinakikialaman ka, then you can just either move out of your house or talk to your mom about it. Let her know na you dont like her opening your letters, mails and bills. Be honest. But he ready for emotional attack from her. Normally parents would do that in order to make us feel guilty if we call their attention about their wrong doings. Anyways only few parents will admit they did something wrong.

Hope this helps.

[Priceless]

Did your mom open it deliberately? Or nagkamali lang sya ng open? What did she say after you told her to not open your stuff? If she imposes "her house, her rules" sa iyo, then you don't really have much choice, do you. You can huff and puff, but, again, it's their house, and unless you're prepared to move out to your own space, you can't really control them.

Now, there's that option of sending it to your company. If you were in certain companies, they would open ALL mails even if it's addressed to you personally. Some companies have strict security policies and if you don't want to abide by it, they will clearly state din naman for you not to send personal-related mails and documents to the company address. So hindi ka din assured na your mails will not be screened opened by the mailing room. Mas malala pa nga kasi strangers (people unrelated to you) will be able to see your mails and who knows, baka maging chismis material pa sa office ang mga credit card utang mo.

I think you should choose your battles well. I understand where you're coming from and from a point of principle, nakakainis nga na ma-invade ang privacy mo. Pero think about your own personal circumstances (nakikitira ka sa bahay ng parents mo, you don't own your own company or you're not in a position to dictate company policy) and see where you can compromise.

[aquacharly]

Your query: What would I do if I were in your shoes?

Since, Mom is a repeat offender , I will re-route my  statements to my office.  Same thing with my bank statements. 

But I agree with this: 

I think you should choose your battles well. I understand where you're coming from and from a point of principle, nakakainis nga na ma-invade ang privacy mo. Pero think about your own personal circumstances (nakikitira ka sa bahay ng parents mo, you don't own your own company or you're not in a position to dictate company policy) and see where you can compromise.

If you have no choice but have it sent to your house, well -- kulitin mo Mom mo. It just may take her longer to overcome her habit of opening everybody's mail.   

[TysLolakins]

Tell your mom that if she opens your bill, that she better pay it too, in full! 
That should get her attention and make her aware that you don't appreciate it.  Kidding aside, her house, her rules and there ain't much you can do about it.  Most moms will try to get into their kids' business no matter how old the kids get.  And they will always be curious of your financial status, the reason for opening your bills.  Moms of adult children worry that they may not make it well into this world by themselves, so she's just checking on you and if you're not,  most probably she'll help you and bail you out, just so it won't be too much for you to deal right now.  Any edge she can give you she will.
Above advice is brought to you by another mom who has grown children.   

[kinkytinch]

Thank you all for that tap on my nape and funny remarks I've spoken to her about this even before the most recent incident. Well...I guess you're right. I'll just have to suck it up until I get my own place.. Many thanks again

[theshopaholicprincess]

Naku it happened to me when I was still single, just started working and still living with my parents... Just like what everyone is telling you better to re-route your bank/bill statements nalang sa office. Ako kasi medyo umabot na sukdulan na nag away kami noon ng mom ko kasi yung kababata ko sa US nagpadala ng letter at goods na specifically addressed to me... ay naku nabadtrip ako kasi nauna na nila nabuksan yung package then they ate the chocolates without telling me and read the letter... ayun after that lahat ng specifically addressed letters to me are sent in my office or dun sa apartment where I stay.