I Fell IN Love With Another Man

[runaway_bridesmaid]

Please don’t get me wrong mga sisters. I know that this is not right. Hindi ko naman sinasadya na ma inlove sa iba. Kasama ko sya sa work, madalas ko nakakausap, hanggang sa nahulog loob ko sa kanya.

Of course I love my husband, pero di ko inaasahan na magkakagusto pa ako sa ibang lalaki. Hindi ko to ginusto, pero nangyari. Lagi ko sya iniisip, kinikilig ako sa kanya kasi feeling ko may crush din sya sakin, mukha parin po kasi akong dalaga.

Pero never ko yun sinabi or pinaramdam sa guy dahil di nga hindi tama at pinigilan ko sarili ko. Medyo guilty ako na nakipag flirt ng konti, pero hanggang dun lang. Buti na lang wala na sya ditto sa company kaya medyo malungkot ako, pero sana mawala na tong feelings na to asap kasi nga mali.

I feel so bad, and so sorry for myself and for my husband. I love him and will try to forget this.
Help me God.

[mrsonthego]

buti na lang wala na sya, mas madali mo makakalimutan sis.

[Girltalker2]

TS, don't you think it is too much of a word for you to say that you "fell in love" with another man?  Kasi for someone to fall, naniniwala ako dapat kilalang kilala mo na yung tao inside out. That means "close" kayo kahit papano, you know his thoughts, his values, etc. Kung hindi naman naging kayo, baka infatuated ka lang.

It's good that you know hindi makakabuti sa marriage mo kapag inentertain mo pa yung thought of having another man in your life. Flirting actually is a form of entertaining it, and before you know it, puede nga lumaki pa ang gulo.  Since mahal mo ang asawa mo, then try to do everything to forget about your "crush". There are many ways of doing it and you can try searching through the net - how to rekindle your love in your marriage, etc.

Ito yung sinasabi ko (especially sa mga mag-ka officemates), I believe it is important to keep a professional relationship with your colleagues, especially with the opposite gender. Mahirap maging chummy chummy with your colleagues lalo na with the opposite sex - yung masyadong maraming personal stories, barkada/akbayan, gimik na madalas and all. By keeping your distance, you are in a way protecting your relationship/marriage kasi hindi mo ito ino-open up sa sari saring mga temptations.

[imbisibol_]

i don't see a problem with the other guy since he already left the company.

i see a problem in you.  there will be another "kasama sa work, madalas nakakausap, hanggang sa nahulog loob ko" episodes in your life if you don't stop the pattern that brings that about. 

i agree with another poster- keep office relationships professional.  you're no longer in high school where you need to be hanging out socially with your peers. 

"hindi ko to ginusto, pero nangyari" is a cop-out.  you did want to talk to him, you did want to spend time with him, and you did want to flirt with him.  you are not as helpless  with the situation as you say you are. 

[Pink_Sugar]

Choice mo yan sis kaya ka nagkaka ganyan kahit alam mong mali, nagui-guilty ka kasi hinayaan mo ma fall ka dun sa ka work mo. Build a wall para maiwasan ang ganyang feeling. May choice lagi ang lahat ng bagay.

[marose17]

Ito yung sinasabi ko (especially sa mga mag-ka officemates), I believe it is important to keep a professional relationship with your colleagues, especially with the opposite gender. Mahirap maging chummy chummy with your colleagues lalo na with the opposite sex - yung masyadong maraming personal stories, barkada/akbayan, gimik na madalas and all. By keeping your distance, you are in a way protecting your relationship/marriage kasi hindi mo ito ino-open up sa sari saring mga temptations.

I agree.  A married lady should avoid developing close (and inappropriate) friendships with men.  I am not saying that you should not have male friends.  But you should know that once you are married, the friendship will not be the same.  You certainly should not be spending too much time with that male friend.  Allowing yourself to get that close to your male colleague is tempting the fates.  It is best to keep your distance.  Nip this in the bud, TS.  You can and you should.

[outandaboutph]

Tama silang lahat.. I know myself very well kaya after ko mag asawa hindi na ako "natitig" sa iba. Kasi for me, kapag mahal mo, mahal mo period. Ayoko din kasi dumating iyong point na ikakatwiran ni hubby sa akin na mahal kita pero may mahal pa akong iba.

[Girltalker2]

I agree.  A married lady should avoid developing close (and inappropriate) friendships with men.  I am not saying that you should not have male friends.  But you should know that once you are married, the friendship will not be the same.  You certainly should not be spending too much time with that male friend.  Allowing yourself to get that close to your male colleague is tempting the fates.  It is best to keep your distance.  Nip this in the bud, TS.  You can and you should.

I guess this also applies to men. Mga lalaki pa, ang hina minsan ng willpower against temptations. Pero ang dami kong nakikita sa office kung umasta akala mo single ang nakiki hawak hawak pa ng kamay/braso or sharing ng mga pagkain. 

[ri-anne]

I agree with the other sis, "fell in love" might be too strong a word to describe that...but anyway whatever it is or you think it is, at least umalis na sya.
Maybe TS was in a stage where there's routine and monotony in her marriage..it doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with it...pero there are times we as wives also sometimes miss the "kilig" and "falling in love" feeling...
But we have to remind ourselves na we should do it to with our husbands

[runaway_bridesmaid]

tama kayong lahat mga sis, alam kong mali ako for entertaining it from the very beginning pa lang dapat dinismiss ko na, wag nyo sana akong husgahan 

unang una, hindi kami naging kami, mali nga siguro na sabihin kong in love ako, siguro na crush lang. never ko naman pinaramdam kay guy na crush ko sya, yung kasing chat hindi yun maiwasan since kelangan namin mag usap ng madalas dahil sa trabaho, medyo higher level kasi ako, staff sya, ayoko laging serious pag kausap sya dahil baka matakot sya sakin lalong hindi magtanong, at lalo mag ka aberya kami sa trabaho, directly related ang mga trabaho namin.

ang flirting na sinasabi ko mga ganito lang:

guy: ma'am pano ba gagawin ko pag ganito ganyan?
me: i review mo, pag di mo makuha tumambling ka para mag balanse

o pag nagkakamali siya bibiruin ko ng "kamote ka na naman"

ganun lang, pero walang flirting na "hi ang pogi mo naman today!" wala pong ganun!

single siya pero may gf, married naman ako for 7 years, wala kaming anak kaya napapagkamalan pa ko na single, mas bata yung guy.

dito sa office may mga guy friends kami, close kasi kami ng department ko at meron two guys na parang kapatid na namin, kaya sa mga males medyo mabiro ako na parang one of the boys

sisses, I know I'm wrong, ang t**** ko kasi, kaya ito super guilty at pilit kong kakalimutan, ang t**** ko na hinayaan kong ma develop ako ng ganun

Sorry naman   


Salamat sa mga nag share, I appreciate all your opinion, iuntog nyo nga ako! please.........

[runaway_bridesmaid]

minsan kasi nakakapag chikahan kami, so marami na rin kaming na share sa isat isa tulad ng hobbies at kung ano ano na di related sa work, saka meron kaming parang yahoo messenger dito sa office, minsan nag me message sya ng "mam uwi kana po, gabi na" mga tipong ganun lang...

Never kami lumabas, nag date nag text,  at friends kami sa fb pero di kami active pareho, as in sa ganun kasimple nagka crush ako ng seryoso sa kanya,

malandi ba ko? sorry...

nabaitan lang kasi ako sa kanya, bihira kasi ako maka meet ng guy na ganun kabait, kahit tarayan ko parang wala lang, ganun kasi kabait husband ko parang nakita ko sa kanya...


I know this so shallow, parang talaga t**** lang, di ko rin alam bakit ako na develop. again please wag nyo ako husgahan hindi ako masamang asawa....

[caterpillar-girl]

^Yun naman pala sis. So what's the problem?  Do you WANT your officemate to return to your office? Do you WANT to keep seeing him? Because if that's the case, mahirap nga yan.

But, if you're just feeling guilty, I think you should just forgive yourself and carry on. You're lucky  walang nangyari sa inyo. I believe you when you say hindi ka masamang asawa. You don't stop being human when you're married. Just because you're married doesn't mean you stop seeing attractive men or you suddenly stop feeling things that other people might feel. Ideally, ganun nga sana. But still, to me, what matters is what you do with those uncomfortable feelings. You didn't allow your feelings to get the best of you. So don't beat yourself up too much. Turn your guilt into something positive. Use it to make your marriage stronger. What's the use of allowing it to eat you up inside? The important thing is that you learn from this. Now that you know how things happen, you can take steps to prevent it from happening again. Ganoon lang naman ang buhay

[aquacharly]

Good you did not cross the line.   

But well, if you don't keep away from the fire --  sabi nga, people who play with fire get burned.
Control  yourself.

It may just be an infatuation, given that he makes you feel special & he was very attentive yo you in the office before.
Coz if it was love -- lol, you would have had an affair.  IMO, but what do I know about affairs anyway. 

[mooncake and leaves]

^^ i agree. you're being too hard on yourself. i also think the more you dwell on your guilt or your feelings for the other guy, the stronger your attachment will seem to you. think about it--wala ka naman talagang problema because you didn't cheat. and you're married. the decision has already been made for you-- you can't do anything about your feelings so only thing you can do is move on, forget the guy and focus all that energy on your husband. learn from it and next time a similar situation occurs, you already know na you should distance yourself immediately.

[Girltalker2]

I know this so shallow, parang talaga t**** lang, di ko rin alam bakit ako na develop. again please wag nyo ako husgahan hindi ako masamang asawa....

Sis, sabi nila there is no point wallowing on this. Forgive yourself and learn from it.

Ang pinakamaganda na nakikita ko dito, you still have a conscience - alam mong mali.  Kasi sa mga alam kong nagkaka affair, their thinking is not straight na, trying to justify their actions na tama by saying mahal naman nila isa't isa, kesyo the marriage is not working na naman, etc etc.  At least in your case, wala ka pa sa delurio na ganun, kaya you know it has to stop.

You said hindi mo alam paano na develop. I guess you were just not conscious na nad-develop na.  In the future, you would know na kung na-d-develop na ang isang feeling and you will stop.  Ito din ang sinasabi ko, sa mga couples, it is important for each party to be conscious on their actions and feelings towards the opposite sex na hindi nila partner, kasi dito nagmumula lahat ng affairs.

[marose17]

Be careful and guard yourself from now on.  The way I see it, mabilis kang ma-attract at ma-develop sa mga ka-close mo.   Thus, the only way to fight this tendency is to not allow yourself to get too close to a male colleague, friend, buddy or whatever you wish to call it.

As others have said, there is nothing wrong in being attracted to other guys.  But attraction should stop there.  Huwag mo na hayaan mag-develop iyan into something else.  You will be sucked in a vortex where you will find it difficult to escape.

[KVsWahmmy]

sis runaway_bridesmaid, I think the best term to call what happened is 'loving the feeling of being in love'

And two good things about this is: You are aware that there is something wrong with what you're feeling. And that you want to avoid it.

Una sis, tao ka lang - vulnerable, may emotions, may mga pinagdadaanan. We don't know all about it, so don't be too hard on yourself - we all falter. What actually matters from this point forward is how you pick yourself up and move forward.

Naalala mo ba nung kabataan natin? (Teka ilang taon ka na ba sis? hehe) Yung crazy in love feeling? Think about those crazy days, and realize just how much more precious your current stable, loving relationship with your husband is. Gusto mo ba balikan na naman yung magulong mundo ng mag-BF GF, tapos with matching complications pa? Sakit sa ulo galore lang yan.

Mga bagay na bago, interesting talaga yan, attractive, irresistible.
PERO in the long run - nawawala din yung magic - don't sacrifice your family life for it dear

[runaway_bridesmaid]

sis catterpillar-girl of course not, mas ok na wala na sya dito sa work at di na kami magkasama. Yun lang nami miss ko sya, malungkot na life ko dito sa office kasi wala na siya, something na na gi guilty ako kasi di ko to dapat ma feel kasi nga mali

sis aquacharly, yes, i guess both of us did not cross the line. good thing kay guy hindi nya ko niligawan, hanggang flirt lang siya at he never asked for my number.

sis girltalker2 you are right, I need to forgive myself and move on, and totoo ang daming kong natutunan na life lessons dahil sa nangyari na to

sis marose17 sorry pero hindi po ako ganyang klase. sa totoo lang may ilan ilang na nag express sakin ng interest mas lalo nung nag asawa ko, may matanda, may mas bata, at may diretso niang sinabi na like ako, pero this is different. konti lang din male friends ko dito sa work at friends ko parin hanggang ngayon at wala po yung malice, as in parang mga kapatid na sila. first time to nangyari simula ng married ako. maybe special lang talaga yung friendship namin nitong guy na to.

sis KVsWahmmy I'm 33 the guy is 29. hanga ako kay guy kasi di niya ko niligawan though i know na like niya rin ako, tama ka siguro namiss ko nga yung ganung feeling kasi, crazy in love feeling ekek,


Thank you sa mga comments ko. I know maling mali talaga tong nararamdaman ko. Pinipilit kong wag isipin by being busy, pero na mi miss ko sya. Nun ngang last day niya, two weeks ago lang, umupo sya sa bakanteng table sa tabi ko, antagal niya dun, nagbibiruan pa kami, sabi ko "oy mami miss kita" iyon na rin yung huling flirting na gagawin ko promise! Wala na paramdam, hindi rin ako nag o online sa fb baka matiming kasi na online din siya..

Nami miss ko yung mag me message sakin ng "good morning" with smiles, yung biglang magbubukas ng drawer ko maghahalukay ng chips at ah basta.

Siguro last na to, di ko na lang siya iisipin kahit madalas maisip ko siya at di maiwasan kasi talagang nami miss ko sya dahil sa work kami talaga ang tandem!

Thank you sa lahat ng nag share, sa mga opinions niya mga sisters, nakatulong lahat to para maliwanag ako isip ko

Thank you sainyong lahat!

[Girltalker2]

Nami miss ko yung mag me message sakin ng "good morning" with smiles, yung biglang magbubukas ng drawer ko maghahalukay ng chips at ah basta.

Why not send message to your hubby naman every morning din, kapag nasa work ka na. Send hiim good morning with smiles.

Plan a vacation, kayong 2 lang mag asawa to rekindle your relationship. Madali lang sya makalimutan kung busy ka at marami kang pinagkakaabalahan. Think of ways of surprising your hubby narin - birthday nya, anniversary, etc. FOCUS - focus your attention sa asawa mo lang. In time malilimutan mo din iyan.

[glamorosa_09]

At least TS you're brave enough to raise your feelings  to your awareness and OWN it. Because when you're aware of your true emotions and you accept it as yours, you're more in control of it. We're all just human anyways...

I agree with girltalker2, I think this can be a reminder for you to reevaluate your marriage, it's present state (how's the quality and quantity time of your relationship now), and how do you want to improve it; lalo na't a chunk of your attention and fondness went to him instead na sa husband mo sana napunta...