My daughter committed suicide..

[lisse]

^Naku sis, for me ha I think your mom is not kidding. She's right, you're still young, you're a strong, kind-hearted woman and I am sure some deserving man will love you. Eh yung "asawa" mo, who will love a person like that? Maybe now surrounded siya ng mga tao na "nagmamahal" kuno sa kanya, pero kung mga sarili nga niyang anak nagawa niyang i-abandon hindi din sila pakakasiguro na this person will be dependable when it matters most.

You are in the right direction, I admire your strength. I don't think kakayanin ko ang pasan mo ngayon, you are amazing. The mere fact that you are able to talk it all out here means you are not withdrawing from it all, you're facing it and that's the key and most important step to moving on.

You will always be in my prayers, sis. Actually since I saw your post and replied, you have been always in my prayers. Since I don't know your name, I just say, "Lord, please continue to guide and hold close the amazing mom and woman posting under the username ejxtwo".

[aNgelofThEMorning]

I will pray for you sis. Hugs.

[Girltalker2]

Sis, condolences sa daughter mo. Walang katumbas na sakit malamang ang nararamdaman mo.
For now, alagaan mo mabuti si baby Ezekiel and yourself, and just count your blessings.

Nung nakwento ko kay BF ang situation mo, he just told me if it is for real. Hindi din ako makapaniwala how these things can happen. But with prayers, I always believe they happen for a reason, and wishing you and your son a bright future and a lot of happier days to come.

May God be always with you and your baby.

[sistah!]

i just want to share also, a few years ago, a good friend of my brother committed suicide. it devastated my brother and it manifested physically sa kanya. he went into a form of depression. kaya hindi namin ma-imagine ang pinagdaanan ng parents ng friend nya. i think of them sometimes and wonder if they have ever recovered or like the words others use - they have found a new normal. apparently, they have somehow found their way out of that grief and life has gone on. im sure it's still sad but there is a lot of life left to be lived. please be strong and know that there's always something better to look forward to.

[Zea88]

Sorry to hear that. . Be strong I will be praying for you. We are all connected, we feel you.

Just be still, if you want to cry just do it everything will be alright in the end. This will pass.

God Bless you with strength and guidance that you need. Take care of yourself 

[wifey]

Sis I can't imagine the pain you feel...you are in my prayers sis in Jesus name, be strong and find comfort in the Lord....sya lang ang makakapagpawi ng lahat ng sakit ng pinagdadaanan mo. Naalala ko yung story ni Job sa Bible, he did not lose faith in God even nawala sa kanya lahat instantly and later he was blessed double fold. God bless and guide you!

[ejxtwo]

Thank you so much, everyone. Sobrang nakaka-gaan ng loob yung mga replies nyo. Again, thank you. God bless us!

[GABJUMZ]

Hi sis. Condolence. My time na dumarating ang matinding dagok sa buhay ng tao to the point na gusto natin isipin na nanaginip lang tayo, may time pa na gusto mong bumuka na lang ang lupa at lamunin ka na lang to avoid the pain. Pero kahit gaano pa kahirap tanggapin ang lahat prayer will really help, cry if you must at don't keep everything inside. I suggest magconsult ka sa professional for counselling.

I will include the soul of your daughter in my prayers so she can be at peace, I will also pray na maovercome mo lahat ng ito..

[castledoll]

I'm sure Mikee is taking care of Kito right now. Like you said sis, they are your angels. I'm sure they're watching over you and Ezekiel and they want you to keep fighting. Mahirap, pero I'm sure matatag ang support system mo. I believe you're a strong person kaya makakayanan mo ito.

[ejxtwo]

And once again, thank you so much for the concerns and sympathy! I really appreciated them all

Still can't get my angels out of my mind. Almost every night nasa dreams ko sila, especially my daughter Mikee, lagi syang nagso-sorry sakin. I just found out my problems sya sa school na kahit kanino samin hindi nya nasabi, since nag start yung issue about her dad and his family, lagi pala syang tini-tease ng classmates nya about that. She's from an all-girls school kaya parang madalas yung mga ganun. Nakita ko din notes nya sa laptop about sa mga pinagdadaanan nya. Ang last line sa last note nya is "The truth is, I still wanna live my life that much... please tell me a reason not to."

I feel so bad not knowing anything about that. Sana mas natulungan ko sya sa mga problems nya, sana naging nandun ako para sa kanya. Sobrang nakakalungkot lang because it's too late. I cannot do anything about it anymore. Oh God, I love my daughter so much.

[quennna]

sis naiyak namana ako sa post mo..
sa dreams na lang talaga way nyo para makipag communicate sya sa inyo..
kung pwede nga lang iremind buhay natin...
kasama mo na ba yung isang twin boy mo?

[Annalizaempleo_05]

When i reading your post, im touching my daughter's forehead.iniisip ko kung gaano kabigat  yung pain na nararamdaman ng anak mo during those hard times na nabubuhay pa siya. i cant blame you kasi family dapat eh, dapat dalawa kayong nanjan sa tabi niya, i dont know what to say. All i felt is sadness in my heart..

[castledoll]

^^  at least even in dreams, you're somehow finding closure. Siguro Mikee will be at peace na din when you learn to forgive what she did. when you slowly learn to accept what happened. Ok lang ang umiyak sis pero wag mo gawin  hobby ha? take care of yourself kasi wala gagawa nun kundi ikaw lang.

[baliwsayo]

Naiyak ako sis. Hug na lang kita. Will pray for her. Be strong for your bunso.

[twelvth_goddess]

I have no words to describe the kind of pain you're going through now, sis. Be strong, take it one day at a time. And pray. Remember that there are people like us here who are also praying for you and your children.

[nettai]

I'm out of words to describe what I feel about your situation there sis. Sana malampasan mo lahat ng yan.

I'm sure your daughter will always watch over you.

[mslcgrey]

Condolence sis... wag mong sisihin ang sarili, none of this is your fault. Mahirap isipin but use this as a reason to get closer to God, only through Him you can find complete fulfillment and peace in life. I pray that your son will be better now.

[ejxtwo]

kasama mo na ba yung isang twin boy mo?

Yes sis, he's finally with me. God is really good.

Couldn't thank everyone enough for everything! Thank you very much, sissies. I really did the right thing na mag-share dito... Here I am, trying to start a new beginning with my son. Sobrang hirap pala, before I dreamed of having a happy family with my husband and 3 kids but now dalawa nalang kami... Every night lagi ko binabasa yung notes ni Mikee and because of that, mas nakikilala ko sya ngayon kesa dati. Tuwing nakikita ko yung pictures namin, lagi akong naiiyak, ngayon ko lang naisip na behind her bright smile, may tinatagong pain. Wala pa syang one month na wala pero feeling ko sobrang tagal na... It's seems like yesterday when I last saw her face. I miss her so much, I miss everything about her. Yes, I felt better nung nakauwi na si Ezekiel but I can't bear the pain anymore. I go to church everyday to seek help from Him pero sobrang sakit pa rin pala talaga

PS. Sorry kung paulit-ulit ako dito. Bear with me please. Thank you.

[ysa.belle]

pray sis. aside kay baby ezekiel mo na nagpapagaan ng loob mo, talking to Him will make you feel better. sabihin mo sa Kanya lahat. God loves you, he will listen and di ka niya pababayaan.

kaya mo sis. you are strong. have faith. may God bless you and your little one always.

hugs.

[ejxtwo]

pray sis. aside kay baby ezekiel mo na nagpapagaan ng loob mo, talking to Him will make you feel better. sabihin mo sa Kanya lahat. God loves you, he will listen and di ka niya pababayaan.

kaya mo sis. you are strong. have faith. may God bless you and your little one always.

hugs.

Thank you so much sis! I hope so. I don't know kung may sasakit pa sa nararamdaman ko right now, but I really pray na kayanin ko pa, kahit for the sake of my son nalang. I want to be a better mom to him but I don't even know where to start talaga.