My daughter committed suicide..

[kukii]

  this is really sad. My condolences sis, just be brave and keep your faith in God. Ang hirap mawalan ng loved one lalo na parehas na anak mo. I'm sure both of them will be your angels now watching over you and helping you every step of the way. Be brave sis and keep on praying.

[ysa.belle]

this is so heartbreaking. i am sorry for your loss sis. my deepest condolences.

alam ko masakit na masakit yung pinagdadaanan mo. please do not think it is your fault. your daughter loves you and her brothers. maybe hindi lang niya nakayanan yung mga sakit na dinaranas niyo as a family. god bless her soul and god bless you too...

the mere fact that you had the courage to post your stories here sa GT makes you a brave woman. i pray that the other surviving twin will get better.

please cry all you want. you need to vent out what you feel. andito lang ako, along with our GT sisters. please be strong for your baby ezekiel.

god bless you sis... please be strong...

[gharz412]

I'm really speechless. I'm crying now   Sis be strong I know that no words can ever take the pain that you feeling now but you just need to be strong. God is there sis. He will always be there so just leave it all to him.

[seven82]

my condolences to you sis.. Please be strong, do not lose hope. I will pray for you.

 

[ejxtwo]

Thank you for the sympathy and concern, my fellow GTs. To those who sent me private messages, thank you as well. I'm considering your suggestions and I will let you know very soon.

1. kanino siya naiiwan nung lagi ka asa hospital sis?

2. do you think you got too focused on your sorrow na you neglected her?

3. whom do you blame with her death?

First, nasa parents ko sya but then nung umuwi daddy nya, she chose to be with him. I visit her in school nung pumapasok na sya, and minsan nasa hospital din sya with me. Yes, feeling ko masyado akong naging focused sa twins kaya, hindi ko sinadya na mabigyan sya ng little attention, I know she understands our situation but I never thought na she will feel that way. I don't wanna blame anyone else but myself, alam ko may mga naging pagkukulang ako sa kanya. Sana mas naging better mom ako.

[annika]

Ang sakit naman... Sis anong sabi ni Ex husband mo? and si Baby Ezekiel kamusta na siya? Pray ka lang sis.. kapit lang

[JUDYLUV]

  My condolences sis...so sad..be strong..i will pray for you..hug sis

[CityHunter]

Hi, ejxtwo.

Condolences as to what happened.  You've lost a lot but you need to be strong not just for yourself but equally for the child you still have.

You cannot blame yourself for what happened.  If its about the father of your kids ay you did mentioned he was not truthful to you in saying he has another family. 

To fall in love with someone like that who could manipulate you through lies ay something many become victims of.  Heck even I who knows how to read body language and handwritings naloloko pa rin - when I let my guard down and simply give in to emotions.

If its about you being left behind by that man ay remember he started your relationship with a lie.  Kaya whatever he said and done ay rooted sa ganun.  Lies. 

Now, sa daughter mo who committed suicide I sure wished I was there to help you read the signs.  For not because a child appears she is seemingly understanding things ay that's what she is truly feeling.  More so teens na siya wherein emotions are in turmoil.  Hindi maganda ang timing na nangyari rin.

Being unable to read those signs ay hindi mo kasalanan.  Dahil it would even take a careful study by an expert to realize those signs.  It is not your fault na you lacked that ability dahil you were in turmoil rin from the events then. 

As it has happened all you can do is ask a priest to cleanse the place especially her room - even if she did not commit the act there.  Then consecrate the souls of your children as well as yourself to Him.  It is the first step you need to do towards recovery.

You can be a better mom as long as you will it to happen.  Do not let anger, sadness and such negative emotions take root within you dahil those will just weigh you down.  Act on the things you know will help you become a better person as well as realize a better future than dwell on things that are of no use naman. 

FYI.  If there is a family history of suicide cases happening ay you really need to consecrate yourself and your child at the very least to help avert that possibility from happening again.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

Thank you for the sympathy and concern, my fellow GTs. To those who sent me private messages, thank you as well. I'm considering your suggestions and I will let you know very soon.

First, nasa parents ko sya but then nung umuwi daddy nya, she chose to be with him. I visit her in school nung pumapasok na sya, and minsan nasa hospital din sya with me. Yes, feeling ko masyado akong naging focused sa twins kaya, hindi ko sinadya na mabigyan sya ng little attention, I know she understands our situation but I never thought na she will feel that way. I don't wanna blame anyone else but myself, alam ko may mga naging pagkukulang ako sa kanya. Sana mas naging better mom ako.

Ah so andun siya sa father niya nung nangyari? Apart from emotional seaparation/distance meron din physical?

Sis ikaw ba nakadiscover sa kanya?

You dont WANT to blame anyone, and you really dont in practice or may knee jerk blame din sa husband?
Nag-usap na kayo ni husband about it?

Sis did you ever have a sitdown with her and talked about sa lahat ng unfortunate events na nangyayari sa inyo? Naexplain mo ba ever or you just assumed?

How do you feel now sis? Do you keep relieving the event?

[ejxtwo]

^ Sis iwannabeasupermodel, yes nandun sya sa dad nya, but I always visit her in school, she's with me during weekends. No, according to her dad, she's home alone (aside from their helpers) when she did it. Tumawag lang sakin yung BIL ko na dinala nila sa hospital yung daughter ko. Pumunta ako agad but pagkadating ko sa hospital, she's already gone.

We (my husband and I) talked once just right after what happened, I don't even remember kung anong napag-usapan namin or may napag-usapan ba talaga kaming maayos because wala talaga ako sa sarili. But I know he's blaming me for what happened sa twin namin. Yes, nag-usap kami ng daughter ko about what's happening to our family. I tried my best to let her understand everything and it seems like kulang yung pag-explain ko sa kanya. The main reason that I know why she did it because of depression.

How do I really feel.. Hmm. I'm still coping up with everything, trying to be strong for my little Ezekiel but honestly, hindi pa rin nagsi-sink in lahat sakin. I just want my daughter back. And by the way, reading all your messages made me feel better than before.

Ang sakit naman... Sis anong sabi ni Ex husband mo? and si Baby Ezekiel kamusta na siya? Pray ka lang sis.. kapit lang

Finally, makaka-labas na rin sya ng ospital next week. Kailangan pa din regular ang check-up nya and pag monitor ng doctors nya but right now, he's totally fine and a healthy baby boy.

Again, thank you so much for your concerns and sympathy!

[ysa.belle]

Finally, makaka-labas na rin sya ng ospital next week. Kailangan pa din regular ang check-up nya and pag monitor ng doctors nya but right now, he's totally fine and a healthy baby boy.

Heartbreaking events may have happened in the past few months but you are blessed because your little Ezekiel is recovering. May God continue to put his grace upon him and you. May your wounds heal.

Your daughter, wherever she may be, knows that you love her very much, she knows that you did your very best for your family.

I know that despite all the pain you are going through, you will be one great mom to baby Ezekiel.

[crzysxycl]

Condolence sis.  Will pray for you and your family as well.

[ejxtwo]

Heartbreaking events may have happened in the past few months but you are blessed because your little Ezekiel is recovering. May God continue to put his grace upon him and you. May your wounds heal.

Your daughter, wherever she may be, knows that you love her very much, she knows that you did your very best for your family.

I know that despite all the pain you are going through, you will be one great mom to baby Ezekiel.

Thank you very much, sis. I'm really praying sana tuloy tuloy na recovery nya..

[mishatasha]

God be with you sis and be strong for your baby Ezekiel.

[airwaterfire]

Just take care of yourself lalo na ngayon your little bundle needs you so much.
May angel kana rin watching over you.

[leelou]

this is so heartbreaking  hugs sis. i am praying for you and your family sis, be strong..

[iwannabeasupermodel]

^ Sis iwannabeasupermodel, yes nandun sya sa dad nya, but I always visit her in school, she's with me during weekends. No, according to her dad, she's home alone (aside from their helpers) when she did it. Tumawag lang sakin yung BIL ko na dinala nila sa hospital yung daughter ko. Pumunta ako agad but pagkadating ko sa hospital, she's already gone.

We (my husband and I) talked once just right after what happened, I don't even remember kung anong napag-usapan namin or may napag-usapan ba talaga kaming maayos because wala talaga ako sa sarili. But I know he's blaming me for what happened sa twin namin. Yes, nag-usap kami ng daughter ko about what's happening to our family. I tried my best to let her understand everything and it seems like kulang yung pag-explain ko sa kanya. The main reason that I know why she did it because of depression.

How do I really feel.. Hmm. I'm still coping up with everything, trying to be strong for my little Ezekiel but honestly, hindi pa rin nagsi-sink in lahat sakin. I just want my daughter back. And by the way, reading all your messages made me feel better than before.

Finally, makaka-labas na rin sya ng ospital next week. Kailangan pa din regular ang check-up nya and pag monitor ng doctors nya but right now, he's totally fine and a healthy baby boy.

Again, thank you so much for your concerns and sympathy!

baka nga depressed anak mo sis. i think i read somewhere (though not from a psychiatric book, parang trivia chuchu lang) na some depressed people hide their depression by being overly jolly, etc, basta the exact opposite. sana lang may nakanotice ng something different about her, like less appetite, weight loss or lagi nagkukulong sa kwarto, lumalaki eyebags due to lack of sleep or the other end wherein puro tulog lang. medyo signs of depression yun eh. or anything different from the usual. but yeah, may suicide note and all.

anyway  about your husband blaming you sa twins, almost all twins are born premature, kasi from the "norm" na isang fetus lang ang kumukuha ng nutrients and other necessities, they have to share. why does he blame you? kasi nadepress ka after he left? so sino may kasalanan nun? duh! haay ganyan naman mga tao, defensive and they'll never really admit na it's their fault. mahirap magdeal sa ganyang tao sis. parang mas okay na sa akin na he's so depressed blaming himself instead of pointing the finger to someone else. those type of people will not easily admit they're at fault and sarado ang isip.

i'm glad your kid is fine. magpakatatag ka sis. follow up regularly, at least naging okay siya. in a month or two magclose din yung hole in the heart, that's a case of patent ductus arteriosus ba? if yun, magcloclose din yun. premature kasi siya so nangyayari yun. gano katagal sa ventilator si baby?

[CityHunter]

Hi muli, ejxtwo.

If that lousy guy blames you for the loss of the kids be reminded na parenting is done by two people.  That person is simply forcing you to accept what he is saying to release the guilt that he has.  If I were you I'd count myself lucky na hindi ka married to that guy. 

Correct mga sis natin na may mga clues talaga but those can be easily missed more so when one is stressed.  It is not easy rin ang situation mo as it was not just one problem that assaulted you at that time.  Lousy guy, sick twins and a daughter na troubled na rin.  And those are just what you mentioned.  Paano pa kung sa work, family, friends, etc.

Sa ngayon its good that you are remaining as strong as possible for the baby who needs your presence now more than ever.

[snowberry]

sis, hugs and prayers for you. Be strong and take care of yourself for your baby.

Pray,pray and pray more. Our Lord  will always be there for you.

[LeallianFaye]

Sis, my heart and prayers goes to you and your daughter. Stay strong, sis. Wag ka mag-gigive up nandito lang kaming mga other sissies to support you.