Should you expect your husband to financially support your parents?

[tagamolave]

Both my bf and I are working abroad as architects and are planning to get married soon.   
My mother is working as a minimum wage worker, and I send her a monthly allowance to help her pay for food, bills and medicine.  My father has no regular job, and even has 2 kids with other women.

When I asked my bf about this, I could sense that he's not in favor of giving financial support to my parents, but we did not discuss the topic in depth.

So, what do you think ladies?
Should we still financially support my parents (my bf's future in-laws) after my bf and I are married?
Kung ang sagot ay oo, magkano kaya ang dapat namin ibigay every month?

[kaiz]

should you expect your husband to financially support your parents? BIG NO.

[doc_quincy]

I think as a loving child is is inevitable that you will support your parents but not your able bodied siblings. But your husband is not liable to do so. Talk with your husband and agree on an amount you can impart to your parents without severely affecting your family's finances.

[lonelymiss28]

since you have a job you can ask your husband if you can send such and such portion of your salary to your family, but do not require him to give part of his. compromise is the key.

[IamDindin]

No.  He's not obliged to financially support his in-laws.  You as daughter, may do so, especially if you're supporting them beforehand.

[aquacharly]

SHOULD YOU EXPECT ...  NO NO NO NO NO

You should  tell your fiancé now, before you marry, YOU WILL give your parents regular financial support,  & you will give xx amount from YOUR discretionary funds.   
Kasi di ba nowadays:  couples both contribute to a fund for living expenses, then have a combined fund for savings/investments -- then, they EACH have  a Discretionary/Personal Fund which they individually spend however they want, no questions asked?  Pwes, it's YOUR parents -- so, get it from your discretionary fund.  That way, your husband should feel no resentment because he will not be deprived. Ikaw ma deprive in a way... less money for your hobby/sport/caprichos.

That way too, YOU DECIDE how much to give your parents -- and you both will not fight over that, you alone decide -- basta it comes from your discretionary fund.  Should HIS parents require support too at some time -- same same, you will not resent/question his decision to give coz he will get it from HIS discretionary fund.

Fair is fair.   

[sumtingnew23]

yes I think it's a big no..but iba ang situation sa amin ni hubby, eversince nagka work ako a big part of my salary goes to my parents na, not that they require me to give pero ako talaga nagkukusa..After getting married to my husband in 4 months time nabuntis na ako, a very complicated pregnancy na I ended up going home first month pa lang tiyan ko. Nagbabarko kasi kami ni hubby kaya siya naiwan sa barko to work ako naman umuwi na sa pinas, sa house ng parents ko.  Eversince hindi na ako nagwork, which was requested by my husband, dahil gusto niya at least isa sa amin e maaalagaan si baby. And eversince he supported me, partly my parents na din.  Now sa abroad na kami nakatira but my husband decided to take them to our wings soon dahil gusto niya kasama ko mom and dad sa house pag nasa work na siya.  So yes..all finances are coming from him, though I never required him to do this. When I asked him maybe it is too much for him na kunin pa namin sila he just answered "they are my parents now too"...."I want you to be happy and they are getting old, soon they will need someone to take care of them, and we will be the one to do that..to take care of them"..awww na touch ako sa kanya talaga.  Pero tama naman mga sisses natin dito hindi dapat I require hubby or spouse natin to do that.  Dapat I compromise ninyo paano percentage na ibibigay sa parents mo..and I am sure naman he is planning to at least provide sa parents din niya di ba?

[swtgrl_bee]

Big NO!

[Girltalker2]

It's not fair to expect your husband to "feed" your clan.  Kung wala kang trabaho, fine, pero IKAW lang kasi mag asawa na kayo.  But don't ever allow na wala kang work, you have to work, that is, if you want to support your parents.

Tapos gaya ng sabi nila, sabihin mo na sa asawa mo before hand na you plan to send money FROM YOUR EARNINGS at never galing sa kanya.

Kung kaya ng parents mo mabuhay on their own, I don't see why you should send money regularly. Siguro kahit paminsan minsan. Pero kung need nila, then calculate what are their needs vs what is their regular income.  So if you estimate 2k/mo for the electric bill and water, 2k/mo for the groceries, then 1k/mo for others, then deduct how much kinikita ng mom mo, then yung balance add around 10-20% if you are generous, then you send that amount. Parang iyan na ang budget mo for them at pagkasyahin nila. Make sure you are just sending money for your parents at wala ng ibang nakikisawsaw. 

[imbisibol_]

your husband is not obligated to support your parents.  but you can choose to do so. 

When I asked my bf about this, I could sense that he's not in favor of giving financial support to my parents, but we did not discuss the topic in depth.

don't shove this issue under the rug.  discuss it in depth NOW, before you're even married.  impress upon him that you will continue supporting your parents from your income.  make it very clear and unequivocal.  this way, there will be no grey areas once you're married; no further cause for arguments, etc.

[Miss.Pancake]

NO. Unang una, my parents are independent that i'm not even obliged to give any share sa bahay kahit sa parents ko pa ako nakatira. Hindi ganun ang parents ko and as a parent, ayoko rin maging ganun sa mga anak ko kaya i strive hard maka ipon for my retirement.

[bagaholic_chewy]

TS, financial matters must be discussed by couples prior to getting married. Importanteng aspect to. So IMO, you better sit down with your fiance now and clear financial matters with him.

As to your question, you should not expect your husband to financially support your parents/family, unless he offers. Since me work ka naman, you may continue to give financial support to them if you wish to do so. But let your fiance know of your plans (frequency, amount, etc). Sa own money mo naman manggagaling so it should be ok. Basta make sure that it's a reasonable amount naman.

[kvandenhaak]

ABSOLUTELY NOT! It's unfair to put that responsibility on his shoulders. Before you get married, you better discuss this...very important. You can assist them from your own income but you still have to make sure it's okay with your husband and that it's not excessive.

[ysa.belle]

Nope. That is a big No-No.

[brendzy]

Should your husband financially support your parents? ---- NO

But if you have a job then you can discuss the matter to your husband along with how much you should give. Just make it sure that it is clear to your husband. Also, give excess for emergency cases only, like for hospital and health concerns. And discuss also to your parents kung magkano na lang ang maibibigay mo, for sure it is not the same as before. In my case, I usually send 5K-6K to my parents na ok naman din kay hubby. Communication is the key. 

[kimmy13]

Minsan nakaka frustrate yung parents ko,specially my mom. She's pressuring us kasi daw they need to pay bills & etc.. I got no problem naman sa pag bibigay,pero minsan sobra na talaga. Nag bibigay kami ng allowance nila,kaya [textspeak!] pati emergency na they need money sa amin talaga humihingi, pati yung sister ko ako din nag bibigay ng sustento every month. Ngayon na walan ako ng work. My mom & sister still calling me to send them money.pini pressure pa talaga ako na mag hanap na ng work, sobrang nakaka sama ng loob.minsan nga hindi ko nlng sinasagot mom ko kasi nga na dedepress talaga ako pagkatapos namin mag usap. I don't know what to do, na guguilty kasi ako pag hindi ko cla ma padalhan ng pera.

[googoo]

This is something you should have discussed long before you had a serious relationship.  You should not expect your husband to support your parents, he is marrying you, and his responsibility is only with you.

Your father should have thought twice before having another family to feed if he doesn't have a regular job pala.  His other family is not your responsibility.

Responsibility niyo as husband and wife is yung future children niyo.  Who will help you later on if you need financial help kung ngayon palang your family is used to expecting support from you?  - Wala but yourselves.