Dealing with Freeloaders

[nettai]

Sisses, since it's pretty much common already that we have freeloader relatives, in-laws, neighbors and friends (AKA "palamuning batugan") -- considering our Filipino culture in which every family member has very close ties with one another, it's about time that we share our stories and how we've dealt with them or how we are currently dealing with them, and maybe answer these few questions among others:

1. How did they become freeloaders? (e.g. unemployment, death or disability of breadwinner, etc)
2. Give details on their attempts on fending for themselves and their family.
3. What sustenance/help is provided to them by you and by other people, or how were they able to get their everyday needs? In what instance did their freeloader status affect you?
4. How were you or they able to get themselves out of their freeloader status, or how do you plan to deal with them in the future? (or maybe ask our sisses for help)

-----------------------------

I'll start with mine -- may mga almost-becoming freeloaders sa amin, but they became totally dependent of their mother. Because of our extended family's poverty in the past everyone worked very hard to alleviate themselves from poverty.

Kaso she was the only one working for everyone; yung uncle ko naging drunkard at mahilig pa mag-yosi kaya nagka-stroke at naparalyze, yung isang pinsan ko (eldest), he married a woman who can't even do household chores, yung isang pinsan ko (middle), minimum wage earner, and yung isa, the youngest, napansin nya yung mga nangyari so she worked abroad, even abandoning her hope that she will get married soon. All of them are college graduates.

Some of my nephews and nieces delayed their schooling kasi masyado daw maaga pumasok, nakakatamad daw, hindi makapaglaro, etc. Pinapagalitan na sila, and it even came to the point that a lot of my cousins and aunts already motivated them to study, we offered ourselves to tutor them. But only the eldest daughter of the middle one is a good performer in school -- so pinag-aral sya sa isang magandang university despite all of these financial challenges.

And nangyari na nga ang di nila iniimagine na mangyayari, tita was rendered unable to work. Yung earnings ng youngest sister can only support their mother and father's daily needs. Aside from my niece that is already in her last year in her college undergrad degree, every child had to stop their schooling.

Sadly, our nephews and nieces from the eldest also had kleptomaniac tendencies and todo reklamo sila about their grandmother; kaso syempre awa rin naman ang nakikita namin sa kanila -- so every extended family member is now mulling on helping them with their bills and their debts.

Now one of my nephews approached me, asking for help na bigyan ko daw sya ng money habang naghahanap pa sya ng work. Bayaran daw nya pag may sweldo na. Tumaas ang "freeloader" red flag but again, kung di ko naman sya tutulungan baka naman mahirapan sya magkaroon ng work kasi walang syang pamasahe. Nung una binigyan ko, but another red flag rose nung humingi sya ulit ng pang-requirements sa isang call center company na kailangan na daw on a Sunday. I said "wala akong pera, sorry."

So ayun. Some of them in this story might be reading this, pero okay lang -- they have to learn their lesson.

[agape]

Brother with child (my niece)
1. He became a freeloader because he is lazy, then he got someone pregnant, and now has children of his own. He was lazy to go to school, mas gusto mambabae, so he did not graduate. Since he did not graduate, it's hard for him to find a job. And because of his bad attitude, it's hard for him to keep a job that long.
2. If he has work, he's fine, but he's selfish, so he is really not supporting his family. We all live in the same house, and I pay for all the bills.
3. I give/loan them money for them to look for a job. Free food, free rent, and emergencies.
4. Actually, we got fed up so pinalayas namin, so nandun sila sa other house, and same status, where they stayed originally with my Dad, before my Aunt decided to keep them in our place para me bantay palagi sa house and do chores but with allowance/salary from me pa.

[aquacharly]

IMO, people who accommodate freeloaders are like enablers or co-dependents of druggies.
Freeloaders appeal to the ego/pride or generosity of  their fund givers.  Fund givers give/yield to freeloaders because it's all tied up with their " public persona".    Also, most fund givers to freeloaders, let's be truthful now -- exert some power or control on the freeloaders, & exact payment in kind -- even if it's  just  fleeting praise for being a sympathetic/rich/generous person, or an emotional thank-you.  Something for something, kahit papano.

In The Family I Come From, they all know I do not allow freeloading, kahit pisong duling.  It is our mom who is the freeloaders' target -- she is easy to shakedown -- basta ang surname eh pareho nang husband nya. Hahaha, meaning, basta son nya, at family ng son nya -- pati kab1tch and their illegitimate children ---   that  my mom tries to present to the world as not bastards. Lol. 
(If you are a SIL or kab1tch of any brother, reading this -- well, so what's new? I surely called you at least once to your face as, multiple choice:  dependent, freeloader, &/or gold digger.  But we manage to co-exist amiably di ba? hahaha).   
There is something about our mom, her lifestyle, & our family resources that attract freeloaders & gold diggers to our brothers.  As long as my mom gives & gives, the freeloading will continue.  I have learned to be immune to all that co-dependency.


In my social circle, ang freeloader yung tawag namin eh magulang or mat-ching.     Pag bayaran na sa restaurants -- no change, or credit card/wallet left in her car --  she will pay back "mamaya", whoever.   Naku lista mo na sa tubig.  Pero wow ha, sya mukhang pinaka mayaman sa grupo.  She did that to me once.  Thereafter, I recommended that every time we have her around -- Waiter:  separate checks for all.  Madalas din yan, request whoever isabay na sya sa pag buy ng concert/show tickets or charity donation -- tapos, hirap collect from her, forget it na lang. 

There is this HS classmate of ours, whose husband left her for another woman.  She gets no support from him whatsoever. Her kids get support from the parents-in-law, but just enough for her kids though they can very well afford to give much more.   When we have  group events -- one of us will pick up her share of the bill.  We are trying to get her employed.   This freeloading is tolerable. But we tell her to financially get back on her feet. When she gets old or gets a medical emergency -- pano na?  - we ask her. 

That's the sum of my experience of freeloaders.

[Girltalker2]

I wonder how freeloaders feel. Do they feel comfortable humihingi nalang lagi?  Is it their way of life/ their being?  Hindi ba sila nanliliit sa ginagawa nila? 

Or are they simply unaware or oblivious to what's happening? Clueless?  Low EQ/IQ such that their immediate concern is how to get over the gastos in front of them?

[castledoll]

1. How did they become freeloaders? (e.g. unemployment, death or disability of breadwinner, etc)

- plain tamad. especially relatives who are very able naman to work but rely on other relatives for their food, bills, their kids' tuition fees, baon. they think of relatives abroad (or someone in Pinas who works in an office) that we all sh*t money. Like aquacharly's mom, si mama din ang personal ATM ng mga tamad na kamag-anak.

2. Give details on their attempts on fending for themselves and their family.

- I remember a time na hinde naman pinangakuan ni mama na papag aralin this cousin of mine but there are circumstances that mama would send money to help them. I don't have a problem with that. kaya lang it came to a point that they don't even bother ask us if we're doing ok, you know, yung simpleng pangangamusta. pero pag may kailangan, kahit mahal ang international text and call, and kahit anong oras, they will bother us. "padala ka naman ng pera kasi may kailangan bayaran." the likes. Kaya lang kasi nakakagalit, my tito and tita are both healthy and able to work. pero, wala. umaasa. Yung mga anak, ayaw lumipat sa public school. kaya never nagpadala si mama ng pera nung bago mag pasukan sa Pinas. Hinde sa pagiging madamot, but I think it's time naman na pag hirapan nila ang kumita. I don't think it's as hard now especially 2 sa anak na ang working and 2 na lang ang nag aaral, scholar pa yung isa. Ang hilig nila manghingi ng kung ano ano pero makikita mo sa fb kung makapag brag ng kung ano ano at kung saan saan nag babakasyon e kala mo anak mayaman.

When I was old enough to work, I worked at McD's. I also moved out when I went to a University that is 13 hour drive from where my family lives. I go to school, I work, I pay my rent, I pay my bills. Not because I earn $$, it doesn't mean, it's not hard. Up until I finished my degree, I almost never asked money from my parents. I actually did not have to work while in school because financially speaking, my parents can provide. But I worked. Why? to have a sense of responsibility. So that my parents can send money to other relatives back home who needed their support. Pero now, thankfully, hinde na ganun kadalas magpadala ng pera. Just like the other day, one of my tito messaged me on FB saying "pakisabi sa mama mo padalhan ako ng pang gastos dito sa bahay." I did not reply back. Turns out, nag message din siya kay mama. pero nag init ulo ni mama kasi wala man lang "kamusta, ate?" diretso agad sa point e.  Meron pa kame isa kamag anak, hinde lang napag bigyan agad na padalhan ng pera, she bombarded my mom with bible verses. My mom ignored her. Alam ni mama na hinde siya madamot. at that time, my lola was in and out of the hospital and kelangan ng mga gamot. Also, my parents pay for mortgage, bills, car payments, groceries. Hinde naman nila responsibilidad pag aralin ang anak ng iba.

3. What sustenance/help is provided to them by you and by other people, or how were they able to get their everyday needs? In what instance did their freeloader status affect you?

- it affected me kasi pag nakikita mo sa fb yung mga status and pictures, napaka social climbers. akala mo mga anak mayaman. kaya laking pasalamat ko lang talaga na hinde na ganun ka financially supportive si mama sa ibang kamag anak. 1. may mga pinag aral siya na naka grad na, they don't have to pay my mama back. it's just about time na sila naman ang bumuhay sa mga sarili nila and family. 2. yung iba cousins namen asa abroad, siguro naman kaya na nila suportahan luho ng family nila.

4. How were you or they able to get themselves out of their freeloader status, or how do you plan to deal with them in the future? (or maybe ask our sisses for help)

- sinabi ko kay mama, hanggang kelan ang pag tulong? siguro naman in all the years ng pag tulong ni mama sa iba, hinde na masama kung unti unti na nya bitawan ang "responsibilidad" nya sa kanila.

[sistah!]

I wonder how freeloaders feel. Do they feel comfortable humihingi nalang lagi?  Is it their way of life/ their being?  Hindi ba sila nanliliit sa ginagawa nila? 

Or are they simply unaware or oblivious to what's happening? Clueless?  Low EQ/IQ such that their immediate concern is how to get over the gastos in front of them?

Pretty sure they do it simply because they feel like they can get away with it. And with it, down the drain na lahat ng plans nila to get themselves out of their financial problem. aquacharly is right. they are like that because there are people who enable them to do it. they ask for one thing and get it, so they try again and get it again. next thing you know, they've made a habit out of sucking the life out of other people around them. it's not even a quality that is solely for the "poor". mas nakakainis yung may pera naman, ayaw lang gumastos kasi they feel like they can always get someone else to pay for them.

[vermich]

Tama freeloaders become one when a person close to them allows it. Kasi nga madaling maawa yung nagbibigay, oo may point kaya nagbibigay para tumulong. Pero if yung humihingi is inaasa na lang sa bigay sa kanya yun na yun freeloader.

Not sure kung nahihiya pa yun ganyan or talagang tamad lang. Minsan sasabihan pa ng bible quotes to make you feel guilty. Pero dapat din may hanganan ang pagbibigay at pagtulong. Mas maganda to ge tto the root cause like walang trabaho tulungan maka hanap ng work. Pero kung yun tutulungan eh mag refuse, i suggest to refuse helping that person further. Hindi na healthy eh, besides kaya nga tutulungan is for their betterment para sa kanila rin yun.

[TysLolakins]

Freeloading is the norm yata sa atin because of the extended family style of living.  Common na ang 3 generations living in the same household,  yung grandparents,  married and unmarried sons and daughters and the grandchildren.  Idagdag pa ang nieces and nephews na nakikitira din.   


Pusong mamon kasi tayo,  we don't want none in our family to be struggling and/or become destitutes so whoever has the means doon lahat naka-asa.  Wala na yung fear of having to work hard for a living kasi merong nagsu-supply.  Parang accepted way of life na ito.  Pride and shame have gone out the window a long time ago.
And this just continues on and on to the next generation, parang vicious cycle na lang siya.


How to deal with them is donot enable them.  Give them some tough love,  don't be overly generous.  Make them work for any kind of pittance you hand over to them.  I know this is harsh but that's the only way for them to learn.




 

[baliwsayo]

Feeling yata nila it's their right na libre lang sila lagi. My brother stays with me. Though pinapadrive ko siya minsan I pay him naman (nahihiya kasi ako to ask favor ng libre). Isipin na lang natin, it's more blessed to give.

Yun HS classmate ko ang epic. Every get together ang usapan potluck, never siya nagdala maski cornik man lang.. ang lakas pa naman kumain. Lol! Super kapal ng face at nagdala pa minsan ng gf niya tapos ni walang silang ni-share na food. Kakaiba. Naka-Note 3 naman so di siya nakakaawa.

[juni]

^ Meron akong naging officemates na ganyan, they have the latest gadgets and matataas yung postpaid lines nila, pero pagdating sa gastusan e walang kinocontribute.  Pag potluck e wala silang dinadala except na lang baunan para aside from the copious amounts of food and drinks na icoconsume nila on the spot e meron din silang maiuuwi.   And ang talas ng pang-amoy sa pagkain, akala mo bloodhound na may magical powers, kahit hindi ka nag-aalok ng food mo e magugulat ka na lang na katabi mo na and kinakain na yung food mo ng wala man lang paalam.

Tapos sila e hindi naman nagdadala ng food para ishare, or kung magdala man e isa or dalawang beses lang, para lang masabi na nagshare naman sila.  And yung nishare nila na food e konti lang and yung pinakamura pa.  Mahilig talaga manggulang.  Okay lang sana magbigay e, pero pag abusado na, ibang usapan na yan.

[honeybunny]

I dont know if this is considered. Here are my experiences

*i have a tita (pinsan ng mother nya yung lolo ko) malayong kamag anak na. She loaned 1k yata mga 2 years ago. No communication since. Hindi ko na rin sinisingil kasi mahirap lang sila. Hanggang sa nagkalimutan na ng utang. Last year, last quarter of the year, since nakalimutan na yata nya or maybe she thinks nakalimutan ko na yung utang nya, nangutang ulit 2k daw pero 1k lang binigay ko. I can hardly remember kung 1k lang ba talaga utang nya sakin 2 years ago pero alam ko may utang sya sakin na more than 999 pesos. So this tita hindi ko sinisingil kasi mahirap lang sila

*i have another tita, pinsan-buo ng mom ko. She loaned 1k. Then wala pa pambayad. More than a year na. Mag 2 years na yata. Hindi ko siningil. Then just last year i decided na instead magpalaundry ako sa mga laundry shop, sa kanya na lang ako papalaba para sure na handwash at hindi madali masira damit. I usually spend 300 lang a month for my laundry. Lahat lahat na yun. Minsan 350 max kahit super dami pa. Since i decided ipa-handwash na lang kay tita yung damit ko, i told her i will give her 400 for the labada. Ok naman sakanya.

Then last 2 months nangutang ulit 500 for a dog na binigay ko sa kanya/hiningi nya kasi ayoko nang alagaan. Told her wala nako problema sa asong yan kasi ayoko na. i dont wanna have anything to do with that dog. But then nagkaissue sa dog. So humiram sakin ng 500 nga.

Then since naawa naman ako sa kanila, i usually give 500 na lang sa laundry as a help din especially pag medyo mas marami pinapalaba ko. Problema is sagot ko pa tubig, sagot ko pa sabon, at fabric conditioner. so mas expensive. then ako pag magtutupi unlike sa laundry shop na nakatupi na. Pero kasi i want handwash nga and hindi naman ako sure sa laundry na hinahandwash talaga nila damit ko  (based on experience) so kay tita assured ako sa handwash

1. Should i deduct 100 every time maglalaba sya sakin para mabayaran nya utang nya? Or ibigay ko na lang yun and wag na singilin yung 1k?

2. Sisingilin ko pa ba yung utang nya na 500 para sa dog ko? E binigay ko na yun sa kanya so ibig sabihin wala na ako responsibility sa dog na yun. Nagiging sakit sa ulo pa nga

3. Mean ba kung sasabihin ko na "wala na akong responsibility sa dog na yan kaya hindi ko na problema kung ano man problema mo sa kanya" i know it sounds mean talaga pero i cannot find a better word how to say it in a short and direct way.   

4. yung first tita ko, sisingilin ko pa ba sila? super hirap lang nila. i know na after a year, pag nakalimutan na nya na may utang sya sa akin or if naisip nya na nakalimutan ko na na may utang sya sakin, for sure mangungutang ulit yun, what should i tell her pag dumating yung time na yun? should i say na "diba may utang ka pa sakin last time, and last last time?" or wag ko na lang pautangin at all...?

[jmeangeL]

Mahirap magsalita sa free loader, kasi kung tutuusin, free loader din ako.
Nakatira kami sa bahay ng mom ko.

Yes, nag-aabot ako sa mom ko every payday. Me and hubby both have work.  We bought all the new appliances and furnitures sa bahay.  We pay for the internet, schooling ng kids at yaya.

But, I still look at myself as a free loader.  I don't pay for the food, electricity, water or housing bills. Free loader ako.

Pinipilit kong tapatan ang mga hindi ko binabayaran sa bahay.  Kaya marami na akong nabiling appliances at furnitures na wala naman akong balak kunin kung makabili na kami ng bahay.

2 lang kaming magkapatid at nasa ibang bansa ang dad ko.  I guess, we're not financially ready to move out of the family home.  Wag sana akong palayasin ng nanay ko kasi wala kaming malilipatan agad.  Or kung meron, mahirap since hubby is an OFW and I also work full time.

May levels din yata ang pagiging free loaders. Or talagang convenient din on our part since may kahati kami sa responsibility on taking care of the kids.

Ang pera ay madali.  Time and effort ang mahirap.

[17glut]

from my experience, best way to handle freeloaders is by not giving in to their demands. Always make an alibi. Works everytime. 

[lalawhoopsy]

Ganyan yung sa isang brother ng hubby ko. hubby na tingin ko sa kanya since 8 years na kami at papakasal na kami this April or May..

Meron siyang kapatid may epilepsy pilit pina-asawa yung isang tindera sa store nila MIL tapos ilang taon tumira kila MIL kasi nga di naman kaya mag isa at walang trabaho si BIL may epilepsy nga,di rin tuwid maglakad. So hanggang nagkaanak sila 2 yrs ago, di rin kasundo ni MIL si babae kasi may kaartehan din minsan,parehong mataas pride nila ni MIL kaya bumukod. Umuwi sa lumang bahay nila hubby at inaangkin ni babae na kanya yung bahay na yon.

Lumaki ulo ni babae lagi kinakampihan ni Father in-law. Pareho naman mga walang trabaho tapos lahat ng panggastos nilang tatlo hinihingi sa mga kapatid. Bubukod bukod hihingi lang pala ng panggastos lahat.

Kahit naman di pa ako legal wife ng partner ko minsan nainis din ako kasi nga ano ba naman kayo, lakas ng loob bumukod ni pambili shampoo wala kayo. Itong babae di din marunong makisama. Ang napansin ko sa kanya pag nasa bahay lagi nakakulong sa kwarto feeling senyora porki alam na may katulong sila MIL kaya naiinis sa kanya. Dami pa isyu pero taas din pride ni babae di marunong makisama. Tapos pag napagalitan akala mo inaapi siya. Sabi ko nga kay hubby pag inumpisahan mong bigyan ng bigyan yan para kang nagkaroon ng panibagong pamilya kasi ayaw din mag trabaho nung babae. Mananahi na lang daw sa bahay.

[chubilita0290]

Ako freeloader ako sa bahay ng partner ko. i used to have my own house but then i have to sell it bec of pesty kapitbahay.partners parents are kind enpugh to let me in,then i had to resigned my job.nahihiya ako kasi im still finding a good job kung saan magtatagal ako.i want to go back to our house in the province para makapag isip or mag work from home na lang. But then partner wont allow me. Saying that we have to split if i do that. medyo nahihirapan ako kasi i want to be independent,di nya yun maintindihan.im not really sure if this is still a healhty relationship.

[Obachan]

One of my friends advice me "deadma" ang response sa mga freeloaders.
I hope makayanan ko.
kaso kasi ang maapektuhan pamangkin ko hindi ang kapatid ko (daddy ng pamangkin ko)
Seaman sya pero ayaw nya paaralin sa private school ang anak nya.
Anong klaseng magulang toh?! He have the capability but he doesnt want to.

Pamangkin ko (nasa poder ko, kapatid ko kasi nasa 2nd wife nya nakatira) super sad na and I really feel un nararamdaman nya pag sinasabi nya skin ayaw nya sa public school. Seeing an 8 year old child begging to transfer him in other school, while saying this pinipigil ng nephew ko tumulo luha nya.
I can send him to private school gaya ng gagawin ko sa anak ko.
Pero pag ginawa ko un parang its a way of giving a ticket to a freeloaders brother na abusive.
Pray ang magagawa ko talaga. Wala na ako maisip na paraan.

Sometimes gusto mo mag-isip...san kaya napunta utak nitong mga to?
Lumipad na ba hiya sa katawan.

[tischarmedlife]

Brother's GF

Her mom had to be checked in sa rehab so she stayed with us. duh!

Actually dapat sa isang tita nya sya titira pero makiri din kase kaya hayun, samin na tumira. Although may monthly allowance sya from her tita abroad pero yung pera nya, she spends it on her baon lang and sa gala nila ng damuho kong kapatid. So ang food nya, toiletries and minsan pati napkin, nanay ko pa bumibili! Kapal!

Nakakainis pa lalo kase sobrang tamad nya and hindi yata naturuan ng good manners! Akala mo senyorita. Kung hindi pa sasabihan ng mama ko na magwalis or hugasan ang mga plato, waley! Tanghali na gigising tapos kakain na lang? Then manonood ng TV at tatambay sa terrace? Pati yung paggamit nya ng bathroom, di man lang itapon sa trash can yung sachet ng conditioner/shampoo nya, iiwan lang basta sa sink! Minsan pati undies nya, iiwan lang din na nakasabit! Duh!

I don't talk to her anymore. Lagi ko iniirapan and dinadaanan ko lang like she and my brother doesn't exist. Pag may dadalhin akong food sa bahay, di sila kasali sa bilang. Sobra kase kapal ng mukha and yun nga, grabe ang tamad nya. I already talked to my mom, sabi ko pag yung girl na yun nabuntis, dagdag pakainin nya kase ang magaling kong kapatid, wala naman trabaho at hindi tinapos ang college. Until now andun pa rin sya sa house ng mama ko (4 months na) pero sabi naman ni mama, paglabas ng nanay nung girl sa rehab, isosoli na nya which is dapat lang.

[ataypool]

Sa family ko, sad to say the freeloader is the Dad. Most men in my Dad's side of the family have the batugan and freeloader trait. Dad's father did not get that trait but sadly napasa sa mga anak niyang lalaki. Lolo even said na lumayo siya sa lugar niya sa isang town in Pampanga kasi lahat ng lalaki batugan. Dad and his brother became professionals but biglang nag-switch on ang batugan gene in their mid 30's kaya freeloaders.

This guy knows what he is doing but unapologetic. Even had the guts to say ganyan siya so we have to accept him and mayayabang kaming mga anak niya just because we all did good without his help. Kaming magkakapatid decided na putulin na ang sungay so pag nauubusan siya ng pera, since wala na pumapansin sa kanya masyado, hindi na siya makahingi ng pera. I haven't talked to him for 2 years pero sa bahay ko nakatira kasi walang naipon. Lagi siyang nasa Manila but pag naubos na ang pera bumabalik dito sa Sydney. Gusto ko na nga paalisin sa bahay ko but ayaw naman tanggapin ng mga kapatid ko.

We have actually forgiven him pero kailangan namin gawin iyon with him kasi nga lalong lumalaki ulo.

[lovemeagain30]

Yung side ng mom ko mga kapatid niyang lalake halos lahat free loaders!  Si Mama ko at yung isa niyang kapatid na babae na nasa Sydney din ang tumutulong sakanila palagi. Eto mga uncle ko ay may pamilya na at may mga anak na rin. NUng una may work sila tapos eventually nawalan tapos nag "self pity" tapos hindi na nag work ulit. Yung pang tuition ng mga anak sa Tita ko kinukuha. Eh yung Tita kong yun walang anak! pero may asawa. Yung asawang lalaki hindi makahindi -- pano freeloader din na asawa!  hay naku naawa talaga ako sa Tita kong yun at tumanda nalang sa pag papa aral sa mga pamangkin.

Yung kapatid kong babae nagbibigay ng monthly allowance nuon pambili sa 2 kong tito na walang work. Eventually naka graduate na ang mga anak pero etong mga anak na eto eh ayaw akuin ang responsabilidad para sa gamot ng mga tatay nila! susmio. palibhasa siguro nasanay na binibigyan sila so feeling nila di na kailangan nila magbigay sa sarili nilang magulang. Pinutol na rin ng ate ko ang sustento eventually. Mabuti naman nahimasmasan siya kasi ako kasi taga kontra nuon.

Yung isang uncle ko nakatapos na din ang anak kaso nabuntis! ayun nagalit yung tita ko sa Sydney kasi wala na daw katapusan pag tulong eto (kasi single mom yung pinsan ko). Yung uncle ko imbis na magpakumbaba, ayun nagalit din sa kapatid niya! siyempre kinampihan ang anak niya. ngayon nabubuhay na sila na walang tulong from my tita abroad. Yun naman pala kaya eh, bakit pinatagal pang suportahan sila??

Minsan kailanganin mong putulin ang sungay ng mga freeloaders na yan at hayaan mong humanap ng diskarte. The more kasi enabler ka nila, the more walang lakas luob humanap ng paraan. gaya ng tito ko, kaya daw nila mamuhay ng walang tulong.. eh bakit hindi pa nila nuon ginawa? Gusto lang lagi kasi makalibre.

siguro nasa culture kasi natin ang kasabihan "mabuti ng ikaw ang nagbibigay kasi ikaw nanghihingi".. parang lalo kang suswertihin kapag ikaw ang nagbibigay. the thing is ginagawa mong tamad lalo ang mga to lalo nat kamag anak mo. mabuti pa kung ibang tao na hindi mo kilala at bibigyan mo ng tulong.

[owstalaga]

1. Unemployment
2. Keeps applying to a lot of companies but never gets hired.
3. I used to lend money and even spend for our food for months pero haller ano ako na lang palagi gagastos, pasarap lang siya sa buhay walang trabaho tapos ako nagpapakain ng ilang buwan? Tengeneng. Siya pa may ganang manumbat nung minsang akala niya akala ko niluto niya yung food ko sa ref when in fact I was thinking ano ba kakainin ko kaya ko binuksan yung ref.
4. I stopped sharing my food and paying for bills that's not mine (like internet/phone). (Except water or electricity bills kasi kelangan ko talaga yun.) KKB na kami. Bahala siya kung san siya kukuha ng pera niya. It's been several months and wala pa rin siyang work. Wherever siya nakakakuha ng money hindi na lang ako nagtatanong pag may pera siya. I help when I can pero bihira na kasi, ano, palaging aasa sa akin? It's high time na para gumawa siya ng paraan para sa sarili niya.