One Last Fling?

[elliekylie69]

Not so long ago, a former fubu suddenly messaged me sa fb, asking if we can “meet”. Meaning, alam na kung ano ang gagawin bilang mag-fubu right. Since I already had a bf that time, I declined his invitation. It was just weird na siguro mga more than a year kaming walang communication, and then suddenly out of the blue, he makes yaya ulit sakin thru fb. Then a few weeks later, I noticed na nag-change status na sya sa fb. He got married na pala! This was just after he made that “invite” to me. It was just weird considering he was doing that so close to his wedding. Ano yun, di ba?

Why do engaged men do all these things at the last minute before they finally get married? Bakit kelangan mag-fling during the crucial period of their engagement? Is this a normal thing that every guy experiences before he says “I do”? isn’t this a precursor to cheating na din while married? Kasi nga naman, hindi pa nga kasal, unfaithful na. or is it just something that guys “have” to do one last time before they can finally commit to forever? and by doing so, parang yun na lang talaga ang last hurrah nila and they will really be faithful to their spouses once married?

[mc21]

Gusto siguro nun guy na "mag-buffet" muna bago sya matali sa Value meal..   
Like your title says, 1 last flling.
oh well, baka it excites those men, kaya nila nagawa yun.
I can't really speak for myself 'coz I never done it.

off topic:
im planning pa lang as a married Guy now na dumapo sa ibang pugad...
yet in un-explained reason eh laging hindi matuloy-tuloy.
may mga errand na nangyayari to me or to the girl.
hay buhay! ayaw magkasala or sayang tinadhanang mag-soloflight? 

[budzwhiz]

Gusto siguro nun guy na "mag-buffet" muna bago sya matali sa Value meal..   
Like your title says, 1 last flling.
oh well, baka it excites those men, kaya nila nagawa yun.
I can't really speak for myself 'coz I never done it.

Wow, kakaiba ang analogy mo ah. So since you're a married guy, ganyan ba tingin mo sa wife mo, a "value meal"? Kaya ka pa nagpplanong mag buffet ulit..
I'd rather put it this way: Gusto nilang enjoyin ang fastfood bago sila matali sa habangbuhay na lutong bahay.

off topic:
im planning pa lang as a married Guy now na dumapo sa ibang pugad...
yet in un-explained reason eh laging hindi matuloy-tuloy.
may mga errand na nangyayari to me or to the girl.
hay buhay! ayaw magkasala or sayang tinadhanang mag-soloflight? 

Bro, sa mga pagpaplano mo palang nagkakasala ka na. Post mo yan doon sa thread mo, nang mapag usapan. I feel sorry for you dahil mukang hindi pa rin na sosolve problem mo kaya you resorted to that na.. Pero habang hindi mo pa man nagagawa yung kasalanan na gusto mong gawin, tandaan mo, kahit ano pang maging pagkukulang ni misis hindi yun dahilan para magloko ka. Update ka dun sa old thread mo kung ano nang nangyari sa story mo.

[nixiquita]

i think its the same with what the guys USUALLY do during stag parties, coax the groom to bang the "guest" dancers / entertainers / whatevers during or maybe after the party. I dont get the reason behind it.

You mean, youd like to play around first and enjoy your freedom a few nights from your wedding date? Happy happy lang and just enjoying? WHY? Does it mean na when youre married na, hindi ka na happy or mageenjoy pa? Para mo na rin sinabing mawawalan ka ng sense of freedom pag kinasal ka na. [textspeak!] nga ba ang freedom di ba? Its just the freedom to choose accdg to your moral standards. If you wanna play around and just have fun, kasi yun yung freedom para sa iyo then dont get a gf.. Dont get married.

its insulting for the bride, parang pinapamukha na "hey maghahappy hapy muna ako cos mawawalan nako freedom at di na makakapagenjoy pag puro ikaw na lang".OMGWTH.

i personally asked this question from my current bf. kung if ever na ikakasal kamia t magpapastag party ang barkada niya, pagbibigyan niya ba mga kabarkada niya para patulan yung "regalo" or "surprise" nila sa kanya, and he said no. Siguro makikisama lang siya, iinom and makikipaglokohon at kantyawan, maybe even daw manuod ng "show". But itake home ang girl? Never daw. (and i believe him) Cos gaya nga ng sabi niya lagi, "hindi naman ako natturn on sa iba bukod sayo, lasing man o hindi. theres no woman id ever wanna make love to aside from you." so i believe he meant na kahit gaano pa kagaling sa bed or kaseksi or kapretty yung girl, parang hindi parin niya maaatim makipagdo sa ibang girl. Baka mas bet niya pa pumunta na lang sakin after. hehe.

And one more thing sabi niya "It doesnt change anything just because you two are getting married. the commitment stays the same. the loyalty and fidelity should always be there. dapat pa nga it grows stronger kasi ikakasal na. pero kahit ikakasal palang, you both are still boyfriends and girlfriends, may partner ka and getting married is not a chance or opportunity to cheat. Cos when you engage in those activities, its still a form of cheating cos IN A RELATIONSHIP ka pa rin."

and i really have to agree with what he said.

but you know, its just us. its our moral principles.. and its what we strongly believe in.

for others it may be different. it depends on the couple too. on how they view their relationship. and how "open" they are on certain things.

[Girltalker2]

Its just the freedom to choose accdg to your moral standards. If you wanna play around and just have fun, kasi yun yung freedom para sa iyo then dont get a gf.. Dont get married.

Exactly.  Dapat mismo nasa guy yun na AYAW nya.  Hindi yun tinatago lang ang kulo. Pero para sa kanya, mga stag party or future stag parties ng friends ny (kapag married na sya) is a licensed way to fool around. 

its insulting for the bride, parang pinapamukha na "hey maghahappy hapy muna ako cos mawawalan nako freedom at di na makakapagenjoy pag puro ikaw na lang".OMGWTH.

Yes it is an insult, hindi lang sa wife mo, kundi sa nanay mo, sister mo at sa kababaihan.

Siguro makikisama lang siya, iinom and makikipaglokohon at kantyawan, maybe even daw manuod ng "show". But itake home ang girl? Never daw.

While it is just right for men not to sleep around esp kung may GF/wife na sila, I don't think it is Ok for them to go to these girlie bars or have something to do with watching nude shows. Kasi isipin nalang nila, tingin nila tuwang tuwa din yung babae sumayaw sa harap nila?  Hindi ba nakakabastos?  Imagine nyo nalang if they are in the girl's position.

Cos when you engage in those activities, its still a form of cheating cos IN A RELATIONSHIP ka pa rin."

Kung para sa guy, this activity na stag party, or going to girlie bars is a very exciting thing for them, I don't think they are ready to get married.  Just be honest about yourself kesa marami pa kayong idamay or saktan. 

All you have to do is admit it, you're not yet ready for marriage. Antay antay lang kung wala ka nang excitement or urge kapag nagkayayaan in such things, then I would think, that would be the time you are ready to settle down.

[Queen Chokolah]

Sad. Pero marami ngang ganito. And even sadder, minsan nadadala kahit after marriage ang supposedly 'one last fling'.

Re stag parties with 'surprise', iniisip ko pa lang nanggagalaiti na ko. Kung talagang kaibigan ang mga kaibigan niya, hindi sila ang magtutulak sa lalake para magkasala. At si lalake naman, kung talagang mahal niya ang fiance niya at ready na talaga sya, hindi sya papatol. Nakakagalit talaga isipin. If ever this happened to me, pumatol halimbawa si h2b sa iba at nalaman ko before the wedding, i will not hesitate to call the wedding off. Kahit tomorrow na yung wedding. If it's to save myself from future heartbreaks and eventually annulment. im the type na pag nasira ang tiwala, di na talaga maibabalik pa. If i learned it naman after the wedding, i'll call a lawyer asap. Pa annul agad habang maaga pa wala pang nasasayang na oras.

Unfair sa girls kase what if nalaman nga after the wedding? Nalaman niya, kung kelan stuck na sya sa marriage. Lets admit, hindi lahat willing mag undergo ng annulment. Bukod sa mahirap, napakamahal pa.

Agree ako. Kung di pa ready, wag magpakasal. Dammit.

[mooncake and leaves]

ran across this article sa cosmo. kinda related to the thread.pero more for women. it talks about the "fear of missing out". thats why they engage in multiple partners, casual sex, open relationships, etc. before settling down.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28698/sex-fomo-feature/

"Do You Have Sex FOMO? More women are feeling the pressure to get as much sexual experience as possible before settling down — even if they've already met the one."

i read it and yes, i think in a lot of ways, it's the same for guys. i'm just not sure if pressure is what motivates men. after all, it has been ingrained in them for so long that this is their right. to explore before settling down. the thing is, a lot of them took it too far to mean that everything is allowed before marriage. "hindi pa naman kami kasal eh" or "magpapakabait na lang ako 'pag kasal na kami", "it's just sex. i'm not doing anything wrong."-- these are what they're saying to themselves. cheaters will use anything to rationalize their behavior.

^ nadadala into the marriage talaga madalas because marriage alone is not going to change a person. it takes constant practice and continuous effort to be faithful long before the wedding to really make good on your vows. like Girltalker2 said, it all boils down to the fact that these engaged guys are really not ready for marriage. or even a relationship, if you think about it.

[magno4]

well siguro nature na sa aming guys ang ganiyang impression nyo na babaero, pero mas mainam naman na maging bansag na babaero kesa lalakero e iba na ibig sabihon nun. pero siguro nga kase kahet pa sabihin na straight lover o one man woman o one man woman talaga siguro nadating yung ganiyan..

[alice_alice]

I can relate there's this guy medyo complicated ang love story namen ng guy na ito. Di ko masabing ex ko siya kasi di naman naging kame pero muntik muntikan na maging kame. Bale malapit na ikasal so months before the wedding nagplano siya na magkita kame, yung tipong out of town and you know how it will be may mangyayari. I asked why and he said he wants to be with me for the last time before he gets married na. Ako may bf so I declined.

Umuwi siya dito sa Pinas, di ko siya kinita he is married now and kung magagalit siya na di ko siya sinipot well I know I did the right thing ang iwasan siya.

[eleine26]

hay naku, mga lalake talaga! wala kasi contentment eh. lahat ng makita nila, ginugusto.

re stag party: ako ayoko ng may girls dun at pwede maka iscore si hubby ko. KJ na kung KJ pero sumama talaga ako nung stag party niya. hahaha. kailangan makasiguro na clean fun lang talaga. may tiwala ako sa partner ko. pero alam naman naten na nagiiba anyo tayo pag natamaan ng alak di ba. hinde excuse ang gumawa ng kalokohan at sabihin na lasing ka at hinde alam ginagawa.

re last fling: I think madami gumagawa mga engaged men nito. siguro yung ang way nila para makasiguro na sigurado na talaga sila sa pinapasok nila. natatakot na baka hinde na sila mag enjoy once kasal na. meaning kasi ng enjoy sa kanila eh playtime eh. and ego booster na rin siguro, pag may iba ka babae, macho ka. parang ganun di ba.

may kakilala ako pumatol siya sa ganito affair, alam naman niya mula umpisa na ikakasal na yung guy. pero pumatol pa din. tinutulungan lang daw niya yung guy na marealize kung tama ba yung decision na magpakasal. haller naman di ba. kapal ng mukha. maybe, umaasa din yung girl na magbago ang isip nung guy at hinde matuloy ang kasal at sila ang happy ending. pero natuloy pa rin ang kasal, natapos affair nila at nganga siya.

sobrang unfair nito para sa babae na malaman na ganun ang ginawa ng fiance niya. dapat ba matuwa yung girl kasi kahit na nagkaroon ng affair sa iba before wedding, eh natuloy pa rin kasal nila. does it mean ba 100% sure na si guy sa kanya? and ano assurance na hinde na mauulet yun?

[zeroone]

i felt really guilty after reading posts here. 

[zeroone]

ok, im probably writing a death wish here but my 2 cent is that you girls probably think too much. to some guys, having fun (no matter how we define it to ourselves) has nothing to do with whether we love you or loyal to you. it's really just a guy thing.

call it ego, pride, insecurity or i dunno... boys will be boys. you all think about how we flirt, but you don;t know a thing about how often we reject and disregard some girls who flirt.

im not saying that you should let your husbands fool around okei? for a guy to be able to cheat, needs someone to hook up with and willing, time and opportunity. although having fun around girls is synonymous to cheating to some, it really isn't. remember what they say, what you don't know won;t hurt.

again, my 2 cents. just trying to be realistic because we're in a real world.

[Naughty^GuRu]

call it ego, pride, insecurity or i dunno... boys will be boys. you all think about how we flirt, but you don't know a thing about how often we reject and disregard some girls who flirt.

haha! i have to agree on this 

[eleine26]

to some guys, having fun (no matter how we define it to ourselves) has nothing to do with whether we love you or loyal to you. it's really just a guy thing.

wow! you mean to say, it's just a guy thing that we need to accept?! para lang pagiging topakin ng girls, it's a girl thing.

for me, as long as walang nasasaktan, walang nasisira na relationship. pwede ko ma accept na "it's a guy thing"

just play fair db. kung gusto mo magloko, make sure na hinde serious yung partner mo sayo. para wala ka masasaktan.

remember what they say, what you don't know won;t hurt.

kaya dapat ang motto "okay lang magloko, basta wag lang papahuli" hahaha. joke! whatever the reaons, mali ang magcheat or i-deceive ang partner mo.

[zeroone]

wow! you mean to say, it's just a guy thing that we need to accept?! para lang pagiging topakin ng girls, it's a girl thing.

for me, as long as walang nasasaktan, walang nasisira na relationship. pwede ko ma accept na "it's a guy thing"

just play fair db. kung gusto mo magloko, make sure na hinde serious yung partner mo sayo. para wala ka masasaktan.


kaya dapat ang motto "okay lang magloko, basta wag lang papahuli" hahaha. joke! whatever the reaons, mali ang magcheat or i-deceive ang partner mo.

im not saying it must be accepted as it is. of course it isn't fair. im not saying na you girls should live with it. my point is may mga girls starts thinking that there must something wrong with them kaya nagfo fool around ang partner. that's not always the case.

boys will boys  doesnt mean everyone's a cheater. every straight boys are capable but not all will.
i have a lot of friends na one-woman-man talaga.

okay, ive said too much... 

[zeroone]

^ LOL...

[chai88]

^ Boy's will always be boys... And girls will always be girls...

Paano naman kung kami ang magloko...
Pwede bang sabihin namin na we got tired na and decided to get even?
How will you deal with it kapag nagka ganun?
Will you blame us? Curse us? And take it against us dahil nakipaglandi kami sa ibang guys?
I'm just curious since the way I understand it parang we have no choice but to deal with the saying na boys will always be boys...
So kapag kami ba gumawa hanggang saan ang kaya ninyong unawain?

[telekikay]

simply put, if you can get away with it, why not diba? sasakit lang ulo mo kakahanap ng explanation sa ganyang behavior. yan na character nung tao. expect another message in the future.

[pretty_conservative]

no comment na lang ako.. kakatuwa naman ang mga comment niyo

[p0isonIvy]

no comment na lang ako.. kakatuwa naman ang mga comment niyo

^ why no comment sis? haha