Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 5)

[kukii]

What if your bf has a girl bestfriend tipong may tawagan pa sila at sweet sa isa't isa minsan nag a I love you pa sa isa't isa? I get it mas nauna niyang nakilala yun bago maging kami. Nakakabother lang kasi sinabi ko na din naman sa bf ko na nagseselos ako and I don't feel right sa setting nila, sabi niya naman kaibigan niya lang yun ganon lang talaga sila and napansin ko naman iniwasan na niya if possible pero etong si girl bestfriend dikit padin ng dikit at calling him pet names pa at sumasakay naman itong si bf. Grr lang. Question ko sa guys totoo bang kaibigan lang turingan nila or may something? Thanks sa sasagot.

[jtansanco]

^ When a guy says "I love you" to someone else besides his girlfriend (or maybe his mom), then something is wrong.

[sugardrop]

^
Not always true. My brother from another mother and I, we say I love you to each other but we know what kind of love that is - platonic friends and like magkapatid. Depende pa rin talaga yan sa tao.

[graezieylicious]

Is it okay to invite a guy for a coffee or desperate move yun for a girl?

[kukii]

^^^Yan din naisip ko parang dapat exclusive lang yung word na yun sa gf/mom or relatives niya.

^^Gaano kayo kaclose sis? Everyday din ba kayo magkausap and like showing care sa isa't isa e.g. saying "kumain ka naba?" "wag kang magpapakapagod ha?"

[simang]

Is it okay to invite a guy for a coffee or desperate move yun for a girl?

It depends. If a guy shows no interest in you whatsoever, everything you do may look like a desperate move para sa kanya. Pero if you're friends (not just civil acquaintance ha), inviting a guy for coffee is okay.

^ When a guy says "I love you" to someone else besides his girlfriend (or maybe his mom), then something is wrong.

I kinda have to agree on this. For a girl it's okay to say i love you to someone you're not romantic with, but for guys... hmm there's probably a question there. Sure we love our friends, but saying i love you is not the most appropriate way to show them that. The only guy friend i have who says i love you to me, is gay.

[jtansanco]

^^^ I've had an experience where a girl invited me out for cofee/dinner and she even said she'll pay for it. Sadly, I'm not at all attracted to her so I declined her. In my opinion, yes, it's a desperate move for a girl to do that.

[young_maiden]

^ bro, eh what if close friend mo naman yung girl at niyaya ka niya magcoffee? Desperate pa din ba siya tignan?

[graezieylicious]

What if the invite is an aquaintance invite lang?

[simang]

^for me lang, if you're conscious about how the guy would think if you invite him, then in your head you know it's not just a friendly invite. kase if it is, you don't have to worry if he sees it desperate or not

[jtansanco]

@graezieylicious and @young_maiden

Simang is right. If it's just a friendly invite, why are you conscious about what the guy thinks? My reply was based on the girl having some feelings for the guy. But if it's just platonic, I'm wondering why would you ask this question...

[graezieylicious]

^what if im interested with the guy pero wala pa naman feelings?

[jtansanco]

^ What a statement. Haha. If you're not too close with each other, then just go for it. At least, you'll know if he's interested on you or not. It'll save you time. If he says yes, then keep us updated on your date. If he says no, kill your interest and erase him from your life because he knows that you're into him and he will realize that he just rejected a girl which will boost his ego.

[simang]

^what if im interested with the guy pero wala pa naman feelings?

the fact that you're asking these things sound desperate already.. so yes most likely he'll sense the desperation kahit 'wala pa naman feelings'

[Pink_Sugar]

Kelangan ko pa bang laging mag tanong at mag alala sa relationship namin ni bf? Mawawala ba ang LOVE nya para sa akin kapag lagi akong tanong tanong kung ano nangyari at feelings nya nung time na close sila nung babae at wala daw nangyari sa kanila, pero ang hirap maniwala, nagpabggap ako na ako si bf at tinext ko si girl nung break na sila at sabi naman ni girl eh wala naman nangyari sa kanila, kaya wag maniwala na may fubu na iba si girl kasi si bf nga daw mismo ay hindi naka score kay girl?. 11 yrs na kami 1st bf-g namin isa't isa. Pero last year naging LDR kami for 1 yr at nagka gf sya dun. Pero ako naman ang pinili nya at sabi nya di naman nya mahal yun, naghanap lang sya ng comfort at kausap kasi di na daw nya nafefeel yun sa akin kasi lagi daw ako busy at pagod sa work.
Hindi kasi ako maka move on at matanggap na nagawa nya yun sa akin. Sa tagal namin eh ngayon lang sya nakagawa ng ganyan sa akin. Mabait at maasikaso bf ko kaya diko naisip na magagawa nya yun nung naging LDR kami.

[jtansanco]

^ Not sure if I got it correctly but here's my thoughts... You guys have been together for 11 years. He "might" have done something wrong during the LDR year. Okay, fine. Let's assume that he "did" something behind you. The way I see it, he regret that decision and realized that he will not throw the 11 years with you for some fling. Now, he already told you that he chose you over whoever else. Whether or not he is sincere, only you can tell. Assuming he "confessed" that he had a fubu, what will you do? Break up with him and also throw the 11 years? Can you do that? The way I see it. The guy probably made a bad decision and is hoping to erase it but couldn't because this is how life works. On your post, it looks like the guy has been really nice to you throughout. Seems like everything is going well between you except for this one scenario. The question is, will you let this one mishap affect all the good things that happened in your 11 years? Looks like only one negative thing is magnified here... No one's perfect and people will make mistakes so it's up to you if you can forgive/forget about this since it's all hearsay for now. Some things are better left untouched. Again, this is assuming he did something wrong but what if he didn't do anything wrong in the first place...?

[Girltalker2]

^ well, sometimes di mo rin masabi. as the gf, you really have to weigh things. way way back nung kami pa mag bf/gf, alagang alaga din ako. ganyan din. then for some reason, dun sya naki "mingle" sa ibang tao before we got married (pero sinabi lang nya sakin after getting married).  he said ganyan din, he found a nice person na kausap kasi wala ako, busy ako etc. until after namin ikasal, he got hooked nanga. dire direcho na, so naghiwalay nanga kami.

pero kasi hindi lahat ng situations naman pareho. yung case ng ex ko, di nya nakayanan umiwas sa girl.  re pink_sugar, hindi naman gauge ang 11 years na bait nya sayo. ang gauge is what is the NOW. Mahal ka ba nya at gaano ka nya kamahal. Serious ba sya na iiwan nya ibang girl at iiwas sya?  Well, es ex ko, ganyan din naman.  we got married pa nga, he wanted it pa nga.  Serious naman sya. Pero malay ko ba he is weak pala later on na pumatol sa ibang babae.

[jtansanco]

^ Yeah, depends on the guy. If he stopped, then good for both of them. But in your case, looks like the guy just can't let go of the itch. Lots of guys are like that and it depends if they will be caught eventually or if the girl can weigh which option is best for her - to leave or to stay.

[Girltalker2]

Is it okay to invite a guy for a coffee or desperate move yun for a girl?

I guess if both of you are single and unattached, tapos you are ok with him knowing you are interested. It is possible for you naman to be interested in a guy pero di naman in love. parang you just want to get to know him.

What if your bf has a girl bestfriend tipong may tawagan pa sila at sweet sa isa't isa minsan nag a I love you pa sa isa't isa? I get it mas nauna niyang nakilala yun bago maging kami. Nakakabother lang kasi sinabi ko na din naman sa bf ko na nagseselos ako and I don't feel right sa setting nila, sabi niya naman kaibigan niya lang yun ganon lang talaga sila and napansin ko naman iniwasan na niya if possible pero etong si girl bestfriend dikit padin ng dikit at calling him pet names pa at sumasakay naman itong si bf. Grr lang. Question ko sa guys totoo bang kaibigan lang turingan nila or may something? Thanks sa sasagot.

sorry sis, ito ang hindi ko matanggap. kung andyan na yung girl at ganun na sila ever since, paano mo naman naging BF iyan with the other girl on the side all the time?

[killbill]

What if your bf has a girl bestfriend tipong may tawagan pa sila at sweet sa isa't isa minsan nag a I love you pa sa isa't isa? I get it mas nauna niyang nakilala yun bago maging kami. Nakakabother lang kasi sinabi ko na din naman sa bf ko na nagseselos ako and I don't feel right sa setting nila, sabi niya naman kaibigan niya lang yun ganon lang talaga sila and napansin ko naman iniwasan na niya if possible pero etong si girl bestfriend dikit padin ng dikit at calling him pet names pa at sumasakay naman itong si bf. Grr lang. Question ko sa guys totoo bang kaibigan lang turingan nila or may something? Thanks sa sasagot.

Ganyan kami ng friend ko, college pa lang friends na kami. Ninong sya ng daughter ko tawagan namin "labs" eversince. Nag sasabihan din kami dati ng i love you, we had a movie date pero wala talagang chemistry, na friendzone namin ang isat isa. Nung nagka gf siya, umiwas na siya, syempre ako automatic back off na din. Nalungkot din ako kasi nakakapanibago, sya yung go-to guy ko pag need ko guy's opinion / relationship advice. Nagkakausap na lang kami pag christmas or birthday ng anak ko pero labs pa din tawagan pero wala nang i love you na kasama.