You probably know a lot of married guys who cheat, I can too if I would. But can't risk my wife leaving with my kids, love them too much, Won't let them grow up with parents separated. Not gonna lie though that if there's a slightest chance, I;d probably risk it, I'll cross the bridge when I get there.
Ya, you would cheat if you could. If your wife would allow you. But you know your wife can't take that crap and will leave you with your kids once she finds out. Kaya you opt not to cheat. Good choice.
IMO, most men are loyal and good men. Cheaters are the "exceptions". Good and honest men, they're the ideal men in the ideal world but mostly boring. They live a linear life.
Gaya ng nasabi ni jonduh, I think the loyal and good men are the exceptions. The cheaters and womanizers/players are the norm these days. Especially in our culture. Something wrong with our culture, IMO. Women (their GFs/wives and mga naghahabol na babae) allow it while men feel honored and respected if they have more women in their lives. Skewed laws support children born out of marriage, and laws also do not protect cheated wives and no law against kabits or cheating husbands - kung meron man, kulang.
No basis at all. Great and honest husbands can cheat too. Your husband may be cheating on you (if you;re married or bf, dunno) What you don;t know won't hurt you. Better ask yourself how well you can tolerate pain.
Right on! So there you go. You conflicted yourself about cheaters. Sabi mo most men are loyal. But really, even the great and honest husbands, even yung mga wives na super happy kasi AKALA nila loyal ang asawa nila sa kanya, but in reality hindi. Nasa loob ang kulo. And there are many like this. Sa office palang, I see women flaunting their family pictures na super successful and happy ang marriages and family nila. Pero kapag nakausap mo yung hubby, alam mo something is wrong.
GOt a question for all girltalkers, when a husband or BF cheats, why do some ask "why?" instead of just walking away? Doe any of you think there's a valid reason for doing it?
I think madali magsalita to leave. Pero when you are in there, case to case sa tapang ng tao. Unfortunately, in our culture, women are taught to be submissive. Kahit san lupalop ka na ihagis ng asawa mo, you should abide by his changing rules every so often. The hell with them. Para sakin, mga lalaking ganyan, hindi dapat pinagtya-tyagaan (learning from my own experience). Each woman should learn how to fight for themselves, yung nasa lugar. That's what I am teaching my daughter now which I think my parents and grandparents never taught me - fight for what's rightfully yours.
They say you'll never know unless you're in the situation or to "think of the kids".
I say there's no turning back from losing trust.
I guess others ask why because they want to fight for their marriage or to lessen impact to the kids life.
I'm not going to fight for someone who gave up on me by choosing to cheat. Kids are smart too. They know and it impacts them either way.
Isa pa iyan, ang daming cheated wives would make the kids an excuse to justify their martyrdom. Pero ang masasabi ko lang dyan, some wives choose to stay as they have their own reasons. Na hoping sila for a miracle na magbago ang asawa nila - may novena naman na puede puntahan araw araw, so may hope pa.
Another reason, most of which is thinking also about their own welfare (and not the kids), is ano nalang ang sasabihin ng mga kaibigan nila na pinangalandakan na nila na happily married sila at happy ang family nila? Anong mukha nalang ang ihaharap nila sa lipunan. So by hook or by crook, they have to make their marriage work, even if it means allowing her husband to have mistresses.
Another reason is financial. Especially when only the guy is earning, so "paano na ang kakainin ko, titirhan ko, pang makeup/pang ayos ko for the rest of my life kung iiwan ko ang nagp-provide nito sakin?" Tsaka paano na ang mga bata, alangan naman walang sustento from the dad (I know there are laws for this pero the hassle of filing etc pa, kelangan mo parin gumastos.) It is more of these, rather than - "thinking of the kids" reason.
You see, if you are really thinking about the kids' welfare, hindi mo gugustuhin lumaki ang anak mo nakikita nag aaway kayo, nakikita nambabae ang dad nila while the mom cries and looks haggard all the time. Gugustuhin mo ba lumaki ang anak mong lalaki same as the dad or yung babae mong anak lumaki na OK lang na ang asawa nya may ibang babae or OK lang na sya ang maging kabit? Hindi di ba? So why make the kids as a reason. You can still live a life separate from your philandering husband to stand by your principles of honesty, not allowing to be cheated/fooled by anyone or not taking any crap treatment from your partner.
I know I didn;t marry a whore, so I know that she won;t sleep with someone else with no apparent reason at all. So what I told her is "if" it come to that, then we'll be fine I guess. Like I said, we've been together for 10 yrs before getting married, there's nothing much more we can offer. That's the point when you take someone else' hands, or leave it. I will be hurt, but you can't chain someone and never let her go. I gave her my best. I tweak some "style" but nothing much more to offer. Either she's happy or not.
Sometimes wala nga sa tagal. I think I was BF/GF with my ex hubby for so long as well. Over 10 years. But marriage did not work out. But I like how you said it - take it or leave it. Para sakin din, kung ayaw mo na, tell him/her. Then move one. But don't ever say you are unsure, and maintaining a relationship, while doing other relationships on the side. This is blatant pambabastos to your partner and to the relationship.
cheating isn't giving up. it's not cheating if no one knows.
Really? Cheating is still cheating. Even if no one knows. If nanloloko ang isang tao, that's the hard truth. It's lying.
Cheating in a way is sort of giving up as well. Kasi instead of working on your relationship, one resorts to another partner and it has been proven time and again, that another partner can never be a solution to an ailing relationship.
i;m not justifying cheating, it;s never a good thing. what i don't like is that women associate themselves with the reason that men cheat. It's just not about you. That's why most women ask "bakit mo nagawa" kasi they thought there was something missing with them. Give yourselves some credit. No one's perfect. In this world, IMO everything has flaws, And we just choose one flaw over another when we switch partners. Kaya may mga mag asawa na nabubuo ulit.
So nagcheat si lalaki, sasabihin nya sa partner nya, "it's not you, it's just me" famous line. And end of story? After all the work that both has put into the relationship (and most likely mas marami effort ang babae), ganun ganun nalang. After all the promises, si babae giving the best years of her life, tapos kung kelan may wrinkles na sya, goodbye nalang?
I think men cheat because they look for something else that is not in there partner. Kaya kasalanan ng guy, IMO, iyang cheating na iyan, kasi una una, kagagawan nya. Second, why commit if he is not sure, tapos later magwawala? Iyan ang problem sa kinakasal nang maaga (which by the way isa rin iyan uso sa kultura natin) kahit hindi ka pa sure sa GF mo, kasi "andyan na eh, dun rin naman patungo", little did they know - na ma-a-attract pa pala sila sa ibang babae later in life. All because they are immature not to protect their marriage, immature to shop around pa kahit married na, too proud to flaunt to their friends na may mga babae pang nagkakagusto sa kanila, at para "in" sila and feeling macho.
