Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 5)

[sacred cow]

^ malamang sa malamang, kung hindi pa rin magaling sa sex...ewan ko na lang

[nixiquita]

Ive read all your insights and replies, and im pondering on each of them.

But ikaw sis ^ mukhang natumbok mo. Hehe. Mukhang sumakto. Tagos.

I have very low self esteem and zero love & respect for myself. Kaya napakaneedy at insecure ko. So nung time na i was so convinced na wala na magmamahal sa akin, he made me feel loved, he made me feel special. Parang niyakap niya ako ng buong buo kasama lahat ng mali at pangit sa akin. Which was new for me. And unexpected. I tried to stay away nung una, kaso the kind of love or attention he showed me was different. Yung hinahanap ko at kailangan kong pagmamahal sa sarili ko, siya nagbigay. Kaya nahulog ako unti unti. Until i became dependent. He became my only source of love and happiness Parang oxygen ko na Kasi yung kulang at hindi ko kayang gawin sa sarili ko, siya pumuno. Maling mali.

[nixiquita]

i guess so too nasasanay na rin ako, na hindi siya parte ng araw araw ko.

[Miss.Pancake]

SAme here. magfofocus nalang ako dun sa guy na nakasalubong ko sa pagjojogging. hehe

[Pink_Sugar]

11 yrs in a relationship at biglang naging ldr at nagka gf sa text si bf tapos nung nahuli ko na may ka fling eh nakipag break ako sa kanya. Nag sorry sya sa akin at nag sorry din sya dun sa isang girl (27y/o, married pero separated si girl at may isang 6 yr old son) at ang pinili nya ay ako pa rin, dapat ko bang bigyan ng chance? Im 31 y/o and bf is 28 y/o. Ang dahilan nya eh matagal daw nyang hinintay na makita ko sya at maging proud ako sa kanya. Prinsesa ang buhay ko dito at super alaga ako, never akong namura or sinaktan, sunod ako sa luho, spoiled brat kumbaga.

[Miss.Pancake]

^Ha? Gusto nyang maging proud ka sakanya? Pano ka magiging proud of him sa ginawa niyang pakikipag fling? If he did a good job and got a promotion baka yun pede pa diba? Tsaka what guarantees you na hindi niya uulitin yun?

[jtansanco]

^^ Can you define "gf sa text"? Does that mean the bf has NEVER met the girl?? Can't believe a virtual gf/bf does exist.. lol

[baliwsayo]

^ Here's something for you.
A man would love/marry a woman hoping she never changes.
A woman would love/marry a man hoping he changes.
But in reality? The woman changes while the man doesn't. 

I agree nagbabago ang babae kasi nga naga-adjust na lang siya sa lalake kesa ma-frustrate siya lagi para tabla tabla na. Lol!

[insanelypurpleprincess]

-ayaw niya na tinutulungan ko siya maghanap ng work

-ansakit niya magbitiw ng salita at nananakit physically, nakuha niya yung trait na yun sa father niya, lumaki siya sa household na common yung ganun. kahit sa mom niya napagsasalitaan niya

-pinapayagan ko naman siya gumala at lumabas, basta sabihin niya lang kung saan at sino kasama, and usually i call him para mangamusta during his lakad, tas pag lasing na siya, saka mangaaway at magmumura

-on those rare times na pumapayag siyang magusap kami ng matino at seryoso tungkol sa problema namin, he would always suggest na maghiwalay kami kasi kawawa lang daw ako

Baka ayaw talaga mag work. Translation: No Future, bottom line.

Verbally and Physically abusive. Translation: You're a future punching bag. Your children will be future punching bags, too.

Gets drunk and uses profanity. Translation: You'll possibly end up being a widow sooner than you think, pag yan may naging kaaway in one of his drunken moments, he could get himself killed.

Laging nag-oofer ng break up. Translation: Hello! He is telling you what he wants, get a hint. Be a good girlfriend and take his advice.

[Pink_Sugar]

Jtsanco: nasa training kasi sya tapoas yug girl eh nasa office so hindi pwede na magkita sila palagi kaya puro sila text pero lumabas sila few times daw. Tapos nung tapos na ang training ni bf at naging permanent na sya at napa assign na, dun na nagsisimula silang maging close at yung babae napa assign din last june dun sa station ng bf ko. Pero nalaman ko din dahil sa pagresearch ko. Hehe

[jtansanco]

^ Okay... For the guy's side, he realized that you're "important" to him because you're already out of his life. "Can't appreciate you until you're gone" quote... But for you, you already lost trust in him and it will always linger. If you guys go back together, you'll always use this scenario whenever you have doubts or problems with him. Anyway, the question is. Is he worth it? Only you can determine if you wanna keep him or not.

[Girltalker2]

^^ Sis, you weigh things nalang. I assume na malapit naman na rin kayo ikasal kasi parang ang tagal na ninyo.

If I am in your shoes, I will probably break it off with him.  Simply because I have gone through the traumatic experience of being cheated while being married.  So if I am to turn back the clock, any indication na puede mangaliwa si BF/fiance, hindi ko talaga i-p-pursue. 

Other reasons why I would also ditch him -
1. ang tagal ng 11 years tapos wala pa syang kusa magpakasal. does he really want me to be his partner in life?
2. mas bata sya sakin. stats show that men mature later. pueeng gusto mo na magsettle down eh sya gusto pa maglaro. not all, pero most. kung magkapareho lang nga ang age, ganyan na ang situation, what more if he is younger.
3. again, mas bata sya sakin, once you reach your 50s or 60s, or even 40s palang nga or after child birth, women tend to look older than their male counterparts.  so kung mas bata pa ang partner mo, mas lalo pa ito magiging evident.

Of course mababaw ang mga rason na naibigay ko, pero ang pinaka importante talaga eh ok lang ba sa kanya na 1 nalang ang babaeng mamahalin nya at aalagaan nya buong buhay nya?

But then, there are sisses here din naman na nagkwento na dati babaero mga BFs nila, pero nung naging sila na, masaya naman ang naging pagsasama nila.  Or puede din sinasabi nila iyan kasi di naman nila alam ang ginagawa ng asawa nila at mas marunong nanga magtago kasi nahuli na before. Either way, basta masaya sila.

So ikaw, i-weigh mo nalang yung risk kung tingin mo honest na sya at di nanga sya uulit or tingin mo malaki parin ang potential na sumakit ang ulo mo.

Don't ever decide for sentimental reasons (kasi sayang ang 11 years na pinagsamahan ninyo). Ang tingnan mo mabuti is kung may future ba kayo na magiging masaya kayong dalawa - since that is the true essence of marriage.

[nixiquita]

@misspancake

wow sis buti ka pa may nrw inspiration haha

@insanelypurpleprincess
yes. i know all of that. i was aware. though i was scared, i felt like i was willing to have that kind of life, just so long as im going to share my life with him. felt like all the tears and pain will be worth it kapag alam kong siya parin kasama ko. ofcourse hindi lang nama puro negative traits at sad moments yung entire 4yr relationship namin. i once believed that i was the luckiest girl in the world to have met him. maybe i was just hoping na hed change for me. that u was worth changing for. but nah. maybe i wasnt meant for him afterall. and him to me. :|

[Miss.Pancake]

^hahahaha. sis natawa naman ako.

[nixiquita]

^ Siguro pag nakarecover na ako, mas matatawa nalang din ako sa sarili ko. hehe. Pero ganyan talaga ako kamartir haha

[Miss.Pancake]

^[textspeak!] na ba update sa pag move on mo?

[nixiquita]

^Medyo okay naman, nadadivert ko na sa work yung attention ko. Haha. Kaso nun nasa family gathering ako kanina, na'emo ako sa rendition nung acoustic band ng "All of Me". Muntik ako maluha, eh sa 1wk na pagmomoveon ko never pa ako lumuha. Haha.

IKAW! Mukhang may someone new ah. Haha Aside ke jogging-guy! Haha uyy

[Miss.Pancake]

^hahahaha. sis mukhang nagsisink in sayo yun hanging break up nyo. Hindi parin ba kumontak sayo?

Naku kinontak nya ko kanina sis. Nakakainis. Niyayaya nya mag do kami bukas. Nakakairita lang kasi isang linggo nya kong hindi pinansin tapos all of a sudden sasabihin nya sakin na need nya ko at magiging issue pag tumanggi ako. Kapal ng mukha! [textspeak!] ako? Sex slave nya? Hindi ko nga nireplyan.

Sad ako hindi ko nakita si jogging guy kanina. Pawis lang yun wetness ko kanina. Wala rin kasing cute guys. hahaha!

[Pink_Sugar]

Girltalker2: actually sis sya na ang gusto magpakasal at excited na magka baby kami. Super inalagaan ako ng bf kong yun. Kaso nung naging LDR kami kasi nasa training sya eh at parang na neglect ko rin sya kasi busy ako sa work eh nakakita ng ibang malalambing...

[Pink_Sugar]

Jtansanco: sa totoo lang sis, nagpaka martyr sa akin ang bf ko. Kasi matagal ko syang inignore like sabi nya na naging busy daw ako sa mga online shopping at mga games ko then pag tapos na daw ako sa kaadikan ko eh hinihintay nya na i-kiss or i-hug ko sya before matulog pero diko ginawa, at pag nag i love u sya, never ako nag i love u back kasi nacornyhan ako. Lol pero hindi ako nanlalaki ever kaya super laki tiwala nya sa akin. Ilang years din yun na ginawa ko sa kanya bago ko narealized nung nakipag hiwalay na ako recently, pero nag uusap na kami kasi parang bumalik ako sa senses ko na kelangan kunin ko ulit sya. Haha