Re: Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 5)

[nixiquita]

i hafta agree with everything GIRLTALKER2 said.

[melle17]

anong gagawin mo kung ang first born son mo e hindi sunod sa surname mo? mas pinili ni gf to be under her name. tho ilang taon na din kayo mag bf/gf tapos kilala na both parties. kumbaga, everything all right.

hmmm, are you speaking for yourself here?

di ba napag-usapan ang kasal? o wala talaga sa plans?

dami kasi pedeng reason eh...

[jtansanco]

The problem is men want their wives to have smooth silky skin but expect the house to be spic and span. Duh!? pano mangyari yun.
Hindi ba kung malaki talaga kinikita ng guy, dapat maghire din sya ng household help para ma maintain ni wife ang beauty nya for her guy? At dapat kasama na sa budget ng lalaki (kung earning talaga sya ha) ang maid. It is part of the household expenses.

On the other hand, if the girl indeed earns more than you, are you willing to take responsibility on ALL the household chores kahit na may work ka rin?

You don't marry a woman para may gumawa ng household chores ninyo. 

Household chores - bakit sa babae bumabagsak ito?  Paano mo i-explain yung breadwinners na wives and yet hands on parin sila sa kids and sa house?

Can you enumerate the household chores?

If it's here, people prefer to leave in small house or an apartment. All the cleaning/laundry are done during the weekends. Only cooking/washing the dishes are done in the weekdays.

If it's there, it's probably cheap to get maids there but difficult to find a trustworthy one. Also, I find it quite funny that the top 2 answers when I asked my friends why they prefer to live in the Philippines over the US are: They're more accustomed to the life there (cheaper, easy to bribe, nightlife) and they can just hire maids to do all the household chores. Haha

But in general, men earn more than women so it's automatic that the women do the chores. Most women stay at home to take care of the kids when they're infants so doing household chores help them get pre-occupied.

[Girltalker2]

Can you enumerate the household chores?

You already enumerated them.  Cleaning include toilets and mopping the kitchen syempre.  For me cooking has an exponential effect. Yung mga gamit sa kitchen, talsik talsik ng oil, washing not only the dishes you use to eat but also the pots and pans, board knife, fork and spoon ginamit mo sa pagluto, chop, mix or whatever.

And isama mo narin ang kids. 1 baby is another exponential chore.  Of course it is always a joy to have babies around, I love playing with them.  But the work behind it, grabe.  Or maybe it's not natural for me.

And laundry is not just putting it in the washing machine. If you pile up laundry once a week, most likely you will spend at least half a day or 1 day doing the laundry of 2-3 people, including ironing.

Don't forget the once a week general cleaning pa like change of linens/towels, car cleaning, then once a month change of curtains, cleaning of electric fans, windows, etc. Tapos kung may garden ka pa... Basta marami iyan.

If it's there, it's probably cheap to get maids there but difficult to find a trustworthy one. Also, I find it quite funny that the top 2 answers when I asked my friends why they prefer to live in the Philippines over the US are: They're more accustomed to the life there (cheaper, easy to bribe, nightlife) and they can just hire maids to do all the household chores. Haha

Yes, that's very true.  Once you get married and have kids, you will know. 

This is precisely the reason why I never considered Europe, Canada or US as a living destination, but rather just a tourist destination. However, I have stayed in Asia 3 countries na including the Phils all because I need a reliable maid all the time. It is hard to find good help, I agree. But once you find one, it makes your life a lot lot better.  My helpers have been long with me, and they are heaven sent.

But in general, men earn more than women so it's automatic that the women do the chores. Most women stay at home to take care of the kids when they're infants so doing household chores help them get pre-occupied.

These days?  Hindi narin 100%. Kung mag earn more man, baka 2k lang haha 
That's why I thought it's unfair if one is earning 50k and the other one is 60k, pero lahat ng chores dun sa 50k napupunta. Samantalang yung nag e earn ng 60k eh emprenteng nakikipag inuman lang with friends, playing video games, or pakikipag FB/wechat ang inaatupag.

[jtansanco]

Did I just say "people prefer to leave in small house"? HAHA shoot me now.

And that's another reason why it happens mostly in the Philippines where men are "more" lazy compared to others. I was a king when I lived there. I was so lazy and took things for granted because we had maids. Coming here, I didn't even know how to use the microwave and had to force myself to learn how to cook and all.

I guess it's just how people are brought up. If they got used to being kings/queens when they were kids, there is no way they will start doing any household chores assuming they have no maids.

So there's just one answer to it, hire maids and enjoy life. 

[langley]

I guess it's just how people are brought up. If they got used to being kings/queens when they were kids, there is no way they will start doing any household chores assuming they have no maids.

Agree, kaya dapat bata pa lang especially kung babae ang anak i-train na sa household chores.

Elementary pa lang ako marunong na ko maglinis ng bahay. maglaba, mamalantsa at magprito.

Now I'm training my four year old son. Marunong siyang magtabi ng laruan niya. He also knows where to put his books. Hindi pwede nakakalat. Now sometimes tinutulungan din ako ng four year old ko maglaba. Sabi niya kasi "mama, gusto mo ba tulungan kita?" Minsan din pag nagwawalis ako sasabihin niya "ako na lang mama". So I let him. I do not expect perfection from a four year old pero masaya ako marunong tumulong ang anak ko at hindi siya entitled at brat.
Now hindi lang sa household chores tumutulong ang anak ko. Actually mas fascinated siya sa gawaing panglalake like pagkumpuni ng sasakyan, paggawa ng bubong at appliances.

[Girltalker2]

Did I just say "people prefer to leave in small house"? HAHA shoot me now.

Di ko nanga pinansin, pinalampas ko na, pinansin mo pa. 

And that's another reason why it happens mostly in the Philippines where men are "more" lazy compared to others. I was a king when I lived there. I was so lazy and took things for granted because we had maids. Coming here, I didn't even know how to use the microwave and had to force myself to learn how to cook and all.

But that's the point. Hindi lang babae kelangan magfigure out nito, pati lalaki narin. Lalo na kung walang alam yung lalaki, how can he expect the spouse na gawin lahat kung siya mismo hindi mabuhay ng sarili nya.

As I've said before, when threatened, you should know how to make it work. Wala kang choice eh.
Kaso siguro nga sa setting natin. May choice ang mga lalaki, kasi by "default" babae dapat ang paalipin at gawing katulong samantalang sila busy magpalaki ng tyan kakainom at barkada. Kaya DAPAT marunong ng gawaing bahay ang babae na mapapangasawa nya kasi hindi sya marunong at ipapasa lang ang menial jobs sa partner nya (kawawa naman...).

Agree, kaya dapat bata pa lang especially kung babae ang anak i-train na sa household chores.

Elementary pa lang ako marunong na ko maglinis ng bahay. maglaba, mamalantsa at magprito.

Now I'm training my four year old son. Marunong siyang magtabi ng laruan niya. He also knows where to put his books. Hindi pwede nakakalat. Now sometimes tinutulungan din ako ng four year old ko maglaba. Sabi niya kasi "mama, gusto mo ba tulungan kita?" Minsan din pag nagwawalis ako sasabihin niya "ako na lang mama". So I let him. I do not expect perfection from a four year old pero masaya ako marunong tumulong ang anak ko at hindi siya entitled at brat.
Now hindi lang sa household chores tumutulong ang anak ko. Actually mas fascinated siya sa gawaing panglalake like pagkumpuni ng sasakyan, paggawa ng bubong at appliances.

I think regardless kung babae o lalaki ang anak,  kelangan ma expose sya sa gawaing bahay.  Ok iyan sis langley at nae-expose na ang anak mo na lalaki sa mga household stuff.  Kami din, kapag day off ang maid namin, kelangan tumulong LAHAT sa chores. Hind dahil babae o lalaki.

Mga bata pa these days. Kung ang generation natin, tamad ang mga lalaki. I wouldn't be surprised next generation lahat sila tamad na kasi yung iba bata palang puro computer nalang inatupag.

[Jaguar.Paw]

elliekylie69 & melle17
- para sa friend ko ito. yung girl ang friend ko. iba kasi ang pananaw sa buhay. parang gustong mag baby muna. curious lang ako sa reaction nung bf nya.

[insanelypurpleprincess]

For the unmarried man: Have you already thought of how the finances will be handled once you decide to settle down? Or is this something you wish to only think of when you're almost married or already tied up? It's not a question of which approach is right or wrong, but more so if it is among the things you think of, regardless if you are single or single and dating or single, but in a relationship or engaged. Thanks!!!

[argento]

Household chores - bakit sa babae bumabagsak ito?  Paano mo i-explain yung breadwinners na wives and yet hands on parin sila sa kids and sa house?

Thats your role eversince. Huwag mo na isali yung breadwinner wives because its out of the norm.

[Girltalker2]

^ I see where you are coming from. But you must admit it, more and more women these days are becoming more independent, and can earn their own living, just like men.  In fact, lalo na sa Pinas, a big chunk of the women can earn more than their male counterparts.  So you cannot deny the fact that the stereotype roles are not anymore the norm.

[Miss.Pancake]

Bakit sa umpisa lang kayo magaling? Pag nanliligaw todo effort pero pag tumatagal di na kayo sweet. Madali kayong magsawa?

[sacred cow]

kaya nga siga tinawag na ligaw kasi nililigaw yung babae, bakit kung hindi ba naging 'sweet' sa panliligaw si lalake, sasagutin mo ba? wag na lang magpaligaw next time and just do dating instead para makita mo talaga tunay na ugali sa simula pa lang

[Miss.Pancake]

Eh di ba minsan pag dating ganun din? pa sweet sweet din ang mga boys kunwari gentleman. :p

Syempre when you ask someone for a date you have intentions na or you somehow like the girl or interested ka dun sa girl that you don't want to mess up dba? So di ko magets yun difference between ligaw and dating?

[sacred cow]

ligaw - one puts the other on a pedestal, (usually the girl). guy proves to the girl that he is worthy to become her bf through acts of courtship, jumping through hoops or whatever the girl fancies. favorable to the one being courted since that person decides if magiging sila or hinde. nandun na kaagad yung premise that the manliligaw is romantically interested in the other party

dating - equal playing field, you both assess each other if sa tingin nyo may pwedeng patunguhan or mamuong relasyon between the two of you. you get to know each other with less pressure.

if you're still confused between the two, and believe that parepareho lang ang exp mo with men then maybe you need to be more selective regarding the type of men you go out with

[Girltalker2]

^ I agree with sacred cow. mas ok mag multiple dating kesa magpaligaw.  Problem pa sa pagpapaligaw eh sobrang ma-f-flatter ka talaga sa attention nya, na tipong masasanay ka sa ganung attention. Kasi nga, he is still pursuing you.  Kaso kung nakuha na nya ang loob mo, possible nga na tamarin na sya hehe  At ikaw naman iwanan sa ere at ikaw naman ang hahanap hanap ng usual attention na, na hindi naman 'natural' sa kanya.

^^ sis Pancake, when someone asks you for a date, it does not mean he LOVES you na. Yes, he is interested to get to know you. But that does not guarantee na he will be your BF.  Eh pano kung somewhere in your dating malaman ninyo na hindi kayo compatible or ayaw mo ang family nya, etc.  You or he can still back out and just stay as friends.

Kaya nga mas type ko foreigners when they are interested. Mas direct sila - walang paligoy ligoy na 'I love you' agad.  They won't say that initially and be upfront.  They are interested, and that's all there is to it.  Puedeng hindi na tumawag, walang pressure.  Puedeng tumawag ulit. Pero once naging kayo na, mas loving sila, mas willing sila magbigay ng oras, gifts, flowers etc kesa sa panahon na nagd-date palang kayo.

Sa pinoy naman, kakaiba. Because of this concept of ligaw, sa umpisa matyaga. Ningas cogon nga na kung matagal na kayo, ikaw bilang babae pa ang "kelangan" na sumuyo sa BF/asawa mo. Unlike kapag sya ang nanliligaw pa. Though meron din naman na lalaki na continue parin ang pagsuyo kahit na BF/asawa na kayo, pero iilan nalang - kaya hanapin mo sila habang maaga pa haha At naniniwala ako na mahahanap mo sila not through panliligaw nila but rather through dating.

[Miss.Pancake]

Sa pinoy naman, kakaiba. Because of this concept of ligaw, sa umpisa matyaga. Ningas cogon nga na kung matagal na kayo, ikaw bilang babae pa ang "kelangan" na sumuyo sa BF/asawa mo. Unlike kapag sya ang nanliligaw pa. Though meron din naman na lalaki na continue parin ang pagsuyo kahit na BF/asawa na kayo, pero iilan nalang - kaya hanapin mo sila habang maaga pa haha At naniniwala ako na mahahanap mo sila not through panliligaw nila but rather through dating.

Ayun na nga ee. They stop manuyo pag gf/asawa na. Pero oh well, i'll take yun sinasabi nyo go with the dating.

[sacred cow]

^ ako sa gf ko sobrang baba mg sinet kong expectations nung hindi pa kami exclusive, as in yung tipong dapat susunduin ko siya once sa airport pero nagising ako naka land na plane nya and she decided to take a cab na lang. nung naging kami saka ako naging sweet, ngbibigay ng flowers at on time na sa pagsundo kapag mababa kasi expectation sa'yo nung girl there's nowhere to go but up sa mga ginagawa mo at di mo kelangan gumawa ng grand stuff to impress her, and alam mong minahal ka at nagustuhan for who you really are and not what you can for her.

[nixiquita]

but we have to admit that girls cant help but expect and assume We overthink and overanalyze everything, kahit ideny pa ng girl yan at iwasan ang ganung attitude, deep inside mageexpect talaga yan.

[sacred cow]

^ yup, kaya dapat matuto ang mga guys mag manage ng expectation ng babae instead of learning kung ano ang best way ng panunuyo