my father might be having an affair with my aunt- HELP!

[tHea000]

kanina when i woke up i heard my father's phone ringing, it was a message from my aunt. just a simple message na medyo off din kasi we are not really close with this aunt. ang message is like nasa office na daw siya and sayang daw hindi siya nahatid. medyo kinutuban ako kasi first, hindi nga kami close sa kanya as in we never talk to her and second, bakit naman magpapahatid itong babae na ito sa father ko. i browsed his phone more and saw other messages like "ok ka na ba jan?" "hatid na ba kita sa office mo?".

im not sure if i am overreacting. now, i dont know if i should talk to my mother about this. i am also contemplating about asking my father what those messages were for but i am unsure kasi galit ako ngayon baka ano masabi ko.

i just feel bad for my mother. she's been working for us ever since as in siya ang source of income lang ng family na ito. my father dont contribute even a single penny but grateful pa din kami kasi he's the one who oversees the house. i never suspected anything kasi my father has been very hands-on to us. saka laging magkasama yung mom and dad ko when i was 5 my mother went abroad for 2 years, and that's the only time na nahiwalay siya sa amin. i dont know if i should tell this to my mother. she's been strong ever since but i am unsure if she can handle this blow.

please help.

[cecilydee]

^Im sorry to hear that Thea. But I honestly believe your mother should - deserve to know this. It might not be pleasant to hear for her but its better than to live with a lie...

You can just tell her about what you read but dont give too much feelings about it like, "I think Father is having an affair with Aunt." Let her figure the meaning of that text message although its a give away already. Please stay strong for your mom...

Do you have a sibling? maybe you can seek their help also. I remember eto ang nangyari kay Sunshine Cruz noon. Ang mga anak ang nagsabi about sa nabasa nilang text. And they are what? Elementary students pa ata eh. Such brave children..

[tHea000]

^thank you for replying, that means a lot. i am really troubled now.

tomorrow wedding anniversary nila and last night, i went out with my sibling so we can find a place where we can celebrate. my mother even helped us plan. she was suggesting restaurants to try. thinking about this, it makes me want to cry.

i am thinking of going to this aunt to talk with her. i am close with her kids but not with her. she distant herself from our family kasi.

actually, she is not in good terms with my mom. although civil naman sila sa isa't isa kapag nagkikita but this sister of her, iba talaga ugali. in fact, the whole clan hates her. she's too bossy and inggitera. may record  din sya of going with other married man.

[cristina]

Talk to that Auntie of yours confront mo sya in a nice way and better talk to your mom also she deserves to know it...

[tHea000]

^yeah that's what i have to do siguro. i will also talk to my mom but not today because she seems to be in high spirit about this anniversary

[Girltalker2]

TS, sorry to hear about your situation.  Your aunt - kapatid pa mismo ng mom mo? 

May kapatid ka di ba?  Bakit hindi kayo muna ang mag usap at mag agree muna kayo anong balak ninyong gawin.

Kasi feeling ko kahit iconfront mo ang dad mo or aunt mo, they can always deny. At sasabihin pa nila kayo ang naglalagay ng malisya eh wala naman. Kayo nagc-contribute ng gulo.

Siguro if I am in your shoes, hindi ko agad sasabihin. I will observe. Pero I am pretty sure I will tell my mom within a week. Tsaka sabi mo nga, breadwinner naman ang mom mo, so easily, madali naman nya mapaalis dad mo in case kelangan nya gawin yun.

[tHea000]

yes kapatid siya mismo ng mom ko. i have a sib but she's not good, she's physically and mentally unwell since bata pa kami. i told her what happened pero as expected, naghintay lang ng desisyon ko. 

i told mother about the text. i tried to act normal pero napansin niya din na iba ang tono ko. she already confronted our father and he denied it of course. ang sabi lang nagkataon lang na nakikita niya yung aunt ko. pero wala daw malisya yun. i doubt it, we all doubt it. tinext na din ng mom ko yung kapatid nya, triny pa tawagan pero d nagrereply.

as usual, this aunt will act like she's being oppressed by our family and that wala siyang ginagawang masama. 

[thess]

Hi thread starter! Just want to share lang a similar story, meron asi akong kakilala na may asawa at isang anak na sa katagalan nalaman namin na kabit lang pala sya at yung asawa nya eh inagaw lang nya sa  ate nya. Ang story, yung ate nya nagwowork tapos sya pinapaaral sa haus ng ate nakatira tumutulong na din sya mag alaga sa mga pamangkin nya  sa kwento kasi nya mukhang inggit sya sa ate nagkaroon sila ng affair ng bayaw nya tas yun na nabuntis sya at tumakas sila nung lalake sa haus. Grabe d ba? kaya ingat ingat sa mga ganyan. Mabuti na sis at nadiscover mo ng maaga.

[cutemama]

Naku sis sana hindi mo muna sinabi sa mom mo. Sana naghanap ka pa ng ebidensya para mapatunayan na meron talaga silang relasyon. Kasi kung dun lang sa text magdedeny lang talaga yun. paano kung nagsasabi ng totoo yung dad mo, eh di kawawa naman siya.
And if totoo na may relasyon talaga sila, mahihirapan na kayong iprove yan kasi mag iingat na sila ngayon sa mga kinikilos nila. Mas lalo lang kayong mahihirapan.
It's just my opinion mga sis ha

[bluish_mommy]

based from your post, I think kung ako ang nasa kalagayan mo, nag-investigate pa sana ako ng mas malalim pa, yun tipong to the point na sure na sure na ako sa hinala ko. a text message might be a trigger to investigate, pero hindi ko agad sasabihin sa mother ko muna, gusto ko pag sinabi ko yung sigurado na.

[tHea000]

Thanks for the replies mga sis.

super close kasi ako sa mother ko so hindi ko nagawa macontrol sarili ko. but then, i must commend my mom for acting really calm about sa issue. we investigated together and in the end, my father admitted everything.

during the first few weeks, lagi pa kncontact ng father ko yung babae and kapag nahuhuli namin, sinasabi niya na wala daw sila ginagawang masama. until later siya din umamin na this aunt told him na takot daw siya magisa sa buhay niya. we even found out that nakipaginuman pa itong aunt namin sa father ko along with my father's friends. my gulay! i think nasa "dating stage" pa lang sila.

what really pisses me e si aunt medyo pa demure lagi. she even called my mom sa phone to say na minsan lang daw siya hinatid ng father ko and if yun daw ang kinagagalit ng mom ko e d sige daw babayaran niya na lang. as if! as if yun ang ikinagagalit namin! sino ba naman matinong babae ang magpapahatid sa pamilyadong lalake!

[iamanndee]

Hi TS! At least nakapag usap na ang parents mo. I know the feeling, I've been un your position 10yrs ago. And I did the same. Ako naman kasi yung super close sa father ko and were right. Later on, umamin na din.

Things were rocky then pero we managed to forgive and moved forward.

Palagi ka magpray, be strong

[aquacharly]

Talk  of snakes lurking in the grass.   Susko, wala na bang ibang kalandian yang tita mo?  It's definitely not for the money, he hasn't got his own.

Blackest sheep yang tita mo.  Maka sira lang ng buhay ng iba.  Have your mom talk to your dad in a loving but firm way.  Have her point out an affair will wreck your family & he will lose his kids' respect.  Your dad is the one to blame if they get into an affair.  Tell him that, that he is to blame. 

[brandi]

Feeling teenagers lang? Sorry sis pero yung tita mo GGSS.

[quennna]

buti na rin sis yung ginawa mo
at least, aware ng dad and tita mo na alam nyo nya..
kakakulo ng dugo yang tita mong *&^*( hmmp!

[mamalovesyuan]

I cant help but reply. I was in the same situation many years ago. Nabuking ko rin yung tatay ko. pero in our case malapit na kaibigan naman yung babaeng involved... I kept it for 3 years... sa 3 years na yun nakikiramdam lang ako. takot ako magsabi sa nanay ko kasi takot masira yung pamilya namen.  I was 17 years old then. Wala akong lakas ng loob sabihin sa mama ko kasi hindi ko rin kaya makita na masaktan siya pero 1 day nagkukwentuhan kame ng nanay ko at me kinalaman yung kwentuhan namen about dun sa kabit.. parang nagrerebelde yung damdamin ko na diko ma take na buong buo tiwala ni mama kay papa tapos bigla ko na lang nasabi kung ano yung nalalaman ko...

Umamin ang tatay ko. At gustong umalis ng mama ko sa bahay namen. ayaw pumayag ng tatay ko kasi naawa raw siya sa amin kung maiiwan kami sa bahay tapos walang magaasikaso sa amin. but gusto talaga ni mama na umalis muna.. nagpunta siya at nakituloy lang sa isang malayong kamag anak...

antagal din bago kami naka move on. matagal din na laging nangingibabaw ang hinanakit at panunumbat ni mama kay papa... marami rin akong nagawang sulat para kay mama para lang bigyan siya ng insights kung bakit nagawa ni papa yun. all along magkakasama kami sa bahay pero sinusulatan ko sila... hindi ko magawang magalit ng tuluyan kay papa ko kasi mabuti siyang ama. mabuti rin siyang asawa. nagkamali siya..oo. nagpadala sa tukso.. pero siya ang huwaran ko sa isang mabuting asawa... kahit kailan di ko yan nakita na inaway nanay ko. di naninigaw at lalong di nananakit. sa kanilang dalawa ni mama, nakikita ko rin kahit paaano kung bakit naging mahina ang tatay ko..

napahaba na yung post ko pero ang gusto ko lang sabihin ay bilang anak, obligasyon din naman naten sa pamilya naten na panatilihin itong buo. do everything we can just to keep the family together. I f you feel there is hope, sino tayo para mag give up? sa case ng tatay ko, alam ko sa puso ko na after niya mabuko eh talagang he stopped communcating na dun sa babae. umamin siya sa kasalanan niya at nagbago. yung nanay ko alam niya kung ano ang posibleng naging pagkukulang niya... mas natuto siyang maging malabing at gentle sa tatay ko.

[Lurker_Man]

mahirap yan "tuhog"... nagpapatuhog ang Aunt mo sa father mo...parang "sis in law and brother in law affair" pag nagkataon..dapat agapan