how would you feel kapag nalaman mong adopted ka?

[seven82]

will you get angry? will you demand to know all details? and would it make a difference if sinabi nila sa iyo kaysa nadiscover mo on your own, o mas masaklap nalaman mo sa iba? or it won't bother you at all.

post away mga sis 

[Girltalker2]

Currently alam kong hindi at kamukha ko parents ko.  Pero if ever, I wouldn't be bothered at all.  Pasalamat pako sa maayos na buhay na binigay sakin ng parents ko.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

I think it depends on what age you found out/they told you. Actually asa pedia books, i think either seven or two years old dapat sinasabi na daw.

[seven82]

may younger brother husband ko na adopted. unang una sa looks sobrang layo. sabi ng husband ko binenta yung brother sa parents niya nung months old palang. pinalitan nila birthday nung bata para sure na hindi na matrace. fast forward to now, mag 18 na yung brother ng husband ko. problema e nagsisimula ng magrebelde. bisyo dito at doon. hinala namin ng husband ko mukhang alam na niya kaya ganyan siya ngayon. but sa nakikita namin walang balak in laws ko na sabihin. ang alam ko dati nung grade school palang niloloko na siya na ampon ng classmates niya kasi nga sobrang layo yung itsura niya sa mga kapatid niya pati na din age gap. but never siya nagtanong sa parents niya kung totoo ngang adopted siya.

kung ako yun, kapag malaman ko na adopted ako, i might feel hurt (slight lang hehe) specially if hindi sinabi sa akin. but i will forever be thankful and grateful kasi if not for them i might even not be here now.

[agape]

I used to think about this...
Then I saw a TV show and learned something...
I should be happy that I got adopted, at least I did not grew-up in an orphanage with no family to take me in.

I still prefer knowing the truth from the start of childhood, the time when you still don't know the gravity of things. Knowing the truth growing up, I guess you will be more grateful than rebellious. I think the child still has the right to know the reasons why. As to anger, it will depend on the motives of the biological parents and foster parents. For me, I will still trust God that everything was part of His plan for giving me a better and brighter future.

[Mudraquel]

I guess it wll depend on how you were treated by your adopted family. pero kung di ka naman nila tinuring na iba sa kanila being adopted is not a reason to rebel or be angry at the world! the thing is dapat lumaki ang batang alam nya na adopted sya. because keeping it a secret gives an impression that it is something bad or negative. also these telenovelas should stop showing that being adopted is kawawa or madrama ang buhay. it is time people change their views about being adopted.

[vermich]

Nakakalungkot at first na malaman na adopted ka. Kasi it boils down to the fact na totoo pala lahat ng tukso ng mga classmates and kalaro nung bata ka pa. Pero it depends din naman how your adopted family treats you. I learned I was adopted nung naospital ako ang I needed blood transfusion. I was an AB- and lahat ng siblings ko O+ pati parents ko. So they called yung twin sister ko to donate blood and dun nila sinabi I was adopted.

Did it change how they treat me? Yes it did. Before that incident, my mom always makes sure nasa top 3 ako sa buong class as in walang bagsak na grade ang she expects highly of me para naman daw may katuturan yun mahal na tuition fee ko. hindi ako masyado pinapansin sa bahay kahit meron akong achievements unlike sa mga siblings ko, paparty sila todo kahit nasa top 20 ang sila. They treated me equally after that. I never got mad with my own parents nor my adoptivep arents, kasi they have reasons naman why the adoption took place.  Its the past, what matters is now and the future.

[bonita111809]

I am an adopted child. maliit pa lang ako, nararamdaman ko na na hindi nila ako anak. my dad is very loving but my adoptive mother is not. kung gaano iparamdam ni dad na mahal na mahal nya ako, sya namang muhi ng adopted mother ko saken. I was a battered child at hindi nalaman ni dad yun until he passed away. busy kasi sya sa work, alis ng 8am at uuwi ng 6pm. I was like that for 23 years. alam ni dad na napapalo ako paminsan minsan when he's around pero hindi nya alam na tinatadyakan ako from up the stairs at mahuhulog ako. tinututukan din ako ng kutsilyo.


I was grade 5 nung talagang na-confirm dahil sa paternal grandfather ko. dun ko nalaman na uncle ko si dad kasi mag 1st cousin sila nung walang kwentang sperm donor na yun. kahit sinabi na ni lolo sa mukha ko yung totoo, si dad talagang ayaw nyang maniwala ako. sabi nya nababaliw daw si lolo at hindi daw totoo yun.


but I know better. it explained why my adoptive mother is so cold towards me. wala talagang ka-amor amor. pero kahit na ganun ang dinanas ko, my dad made it a bit easier that's why I chose to hang on. kahit sinubukan ko nang magpakamatay dahil hindi ko na kaya ang ginagawa ng adoptive mother ko saken, naisip kong sayang naman ang pagod ni dad na pag-aralin ako.


am I mad with my adoptive mother? yeah, before. pero ngayon natututunan ko syang maintindihan. sa babaeng nagdala saken sa tyan nya, obviously oo galit ako sa kanya. ayaw nya kasi tanggapin na mali ang ginawa nya. ni wala man lang kahit isang letra ng sorry na namutawi sa bibig nya. pinagmamalaki sa ibang tao na may anak syang nakapagtapos ng nursing akala nya sya nagpaaral. kapal talaga ng mukha. at dapat daw eh pinalaglag nya na lang ako. yun ang mali nya, kasi binuhay nya ako.

[BabyAnnisha]

before, someone ask me the same question... and my first reaction hahanapin ko ang tunay kong magulang kasi gusto ko malaman kung saan ako nagmula and bakit nila ako pinaampon... then I ask him kung siya ano gagawin niyo... he told me nothing...because there is no point finding the truth... looking for it can't change anything, sasakatan lang niya yung taong nag alaga, sa kaniya... he would just pray na sana nasa mayaos yung tunay niyang family...

[gc.garcia]

Naturally I guess I should be angry but you know what... I wouldn't care. Of course I'd be curious who my biological parents are but above all else I would be happy. I have been teased actually why I looked different than my siblings and parents because physically I have creamy skin, chinny eyes and I look very much Chinese while my parents and siblings all have kayumanggi skin and big eyes except my 11 year old brother who happen to have chinny eyes as well.

I have been recently terased that maybe I was adopted or I was mistakenly exchanged in the hospital as a baby because I looked nothing like my family. However to make things short I would not and could not care less given that the family I have and I was given is beautiful. I would be happy even if I was adopted because I have very loving parents who gave up so much to raise me well, send me to good schools and gave me a comfortable life and on top of that, I have 3 beautiful siblings who are very gentle, loving and malambing and since I am their ate...they listen to me

I guess for me, I will be happy either adopted or biological daughter to my family now. but of course, that's just me and how I speak a significant part of my life. As to other people, case to case basis naman since we have different experiences in life

[simpleemie]

siguro i would ask lang why, im sure may reason behind that. i would be thankful still kasi may nag alaga sakin 

[swertengiha]

hi mga sis! let me share to you my story...

I am also an adopted child. Mula sapul ng nagkamalay ako, isang malaking question sakin kung bakit much older ang parents ko compared sa mga parents ng mga kalaro ko. My tatay was in his 50's and nanay was in 60's. Malaki kase ang age gap nila. Honestly di ko naramdaman na ampon cause they really loved and took care of me w/ all their hearts. Tatay was the typical soft hearted father while nanay was over-protected towards me. Naalala ko madalas suki ako ng mga doktor at hospitals dati dahil sakitin ako. Hindi rin ako yung typical na only child na pinalaki na sunod sa luho. Ang sabi kase ng tatay ko lahat dapat paghirapan para makuha. Un ang up-bringing na ginawa nila sakin kaya lumaki akong hindi spoiled brat at dahil rin strict si nanay lumaki akong may takot sa kanila at maging prim and proper compared sa mga ka-age ko. As a kid di pa ako nagtatanong or nagtataka kung bakit ganun. Para kaseng normal lang ang ganun. Until nung 6 years old na ako. May kapitbahay kami na naka-alitan ng nanay ko. Tinawag ako ng anak nya na AMPON. Sabi ko pa ano un? Tapos sinabi nya na yung meaning nun. Syempre tinanong ko si Nanay pero ang sabi nya lang ay wag ko daw pansinin kase inaasar lang daw ako dahil magka-away nga mga nanany namin. So sakin di ko na rin inintindi.

Fast forward tayo nung 10 years old na ako. One time pumunta ako sa bahay ng isang playmate ko. Nakita ako doon ng isang kaibigan ng parents ko. Nilapitan ako at binati na ang laki ko na raw. Sabi pa nya na kamukha ko raw nanay ko at sinabi nya yung name! I was shocked talaga dahil kilala ko yung biological mother ko! It turns out na sya yung manicurist ng nanay ko! Syempre nalilito ako kase nag-si-sink na AMPON pala talaga ako! I rushed home at sakto nandun si tatay at nanay. Umiiyak akong nagtanong sa kanila. Sinabi ko na sinabi yun ng kaibigan nila at sinabi kung sino. Dun pa lang nila sinabi sakin ang totoo. Nanay did all the talking while tatay quietly listens and looking at me. Sinabi nila na si manicurist nga ang biological mother ko. I was about to be aborted that time at nag-offer si nanay na wag. Buhayin daw nya ako at ipa-ampon sa kanila ni tatay. Nung nanganak na sya ginamit nya name ni nanay sa hospital as tatay's wife at yun nga ang nasa birth certificate ko. Pero nagtira sya ng pagkakakilanlan nya dun sa down part ng birth certificate. Nilagay nya kung ilan talaga kaming anak nya. Nanay also revealed that I already have 2 sisters before my birth. In-offer din yun na ipa-ampon sa kanila kasama ko kaso tatay refused kase nga isa lang ang kaya nila. Nanay said that I also have a price worth 20,000. They all agreed that hindi nila ito sasabihin sakin until na malaki na ako.

My feelings? Sobrang hurt, sad at confused. Hurt kase nagsinungaling sila sakin. Sad kase hindi ko pala sila ka-dugo. Confused dahil ano ba ang dapat kong gawin that time to think na I was only 10 yrs old. What I did was cried! Iyak lang ako ng iyak. Niyakap ako ni nanay at tatay ng mahigpit telling na walang magbabago. Na mahal nila ako na parang sa kanila ako galing. We were all both crying. Until nakatulog na lang ako sa kakaiyak. Next day tinanong ko si nanay kung nasaan na ang mga kapatid ko. Ang balita nila nung time after my birth umalis sa lugar namin si biological mother ko kasama 2 sisters ko. After 5 years bumalik sya pero wala na sila kase pina-ampon na rin sa iba.
After that di na ako nagtanong tungkol sa past ko sa kanila. As in NEVER.

From the time na nalaman ko yung totoo isa lang ang tumatak sa isip ko. Na hinding-hindi ko tutularan ang biological mother ko.

Di ko rin naisip mag-rebelde kase sobrang mahal ko parents ko. Sila lang ang mayroon ako at ang swerte ko dahil inampon nila ako. Never naman sila nagpakita at nagparamdam na di nila ako mahal. Siguro ang nagbago lang after that day is HIYA. Hiya in a way I have no right to demand anything from them especially sa pera nila or properties or anything na pinaghirapan nila ipundar. Hiya na bigyan sila ng sama ng loob or ma-disappoint ko sila. They were sooo loving and good to me and I have no right to hurt them. Un ang mga tumatak sa isip ko. May mga times din na nagtatampo ako sa kanila or nasasagot ko sila during my teenage years but not to the point na nag-rebelde ako. I study hard. I tried my best to be a better person and have a good future. Di ko iniwan si tatay at nanay until their last breath. May times na feeling ko may kulang sa sarili ko kase siguro di ko kilala yung totoong roots ko pero napupunuan naman ng mga good memories ng parents ko.

Honestly hindi naman ako galit sa biological mother ko pero di ko rin sya love. Wala lang. Siguro kase di nya ginawan ng paraan na magkita-kita kami ng totoong siblings ko pati na rin totoong tatay ko. Nasa kanya naman yun. All I know was that nag-ampon din sya para may makasama sya. Ironic di ba?

Ngayon na married na ako pero wala pa ring baby, madalas pinapayo ng iba na bakit di na lang kami mag-ampon. Ako talaga ayaw ko kase ayoko pagdaanan din ng aampunin ko yung lahat ng pinagdaanan ko. Swerte ko din dahil tanggap ni hubby ang past ko.

Mahirap at masakit na malamang ampon ka. May pagkakataon kase na mararamdaman mo na "di ka belong". Pero minsan hindi naman ma-de-define ang pagkatao mo nang dahil lang sa past or roots mo. Nasa IYO pa rin kung paano mo huhubugin ang pagkatao mo.

Sorry mga sis kung napahaba pero sana may napulot kayong aral sa story ng buhay ko.

[simpleemie]

actually naiyak ako sa kwento mo. alam ko mahirap yung pinagdaanan mo. sabi mo tanggap ng hubby mo past mo, sis wala naman masama sa past mo e.

[snowberry]

Naiyak din ako and at the same time naintindihan ko feeling ng mga anak na ampon kung bakit minsan nagrerebelde sila. Kasi dati lagi kong naiisip na swerte nga sila may nag ampon sa kanila at gumanda buhay nila, tapos ganoon pa igaganti niila sa umampon sa kanila. Now, naipaliwanag mo ng maayos kung ano ba ang pakiramdam kapag nalaman mo ang totoo na hindi mo kadugo nagpalaki sa iyo. Yung sabi mo na parang feeling mo hindi ka belong and siguro feeling na bigla kang mahihiya sa kanila.

Yung hurt and pain na bakit ipinamigay ka rin siguro. Anyway sis, nakakatuwa ang story mo dahil lumaki kang mabuting tao at marunong mag appreciate sa mga magulang mo. Sabi nga hindi ka man sa kanila lumabas,pero todo rin pagmamahal nila sa iyo, God bless!

[swertengiha]

thanks sis simpleemie and snowberry!

tungkol sa tanong mo sis simpleemie na tanggap ni hubby ang past ko kahit wala naman masama, kase di ba may ibang guy na importante sa kanila yung pinanggalingang family nung girl. lucky me mabait si hubby pati family nya at tinanggap nila ako kahit adopted ako. isa rin kase yan sa fear ko before na baka di ako matanggap ng mapapangasawa dahil adopted ako...

to sis snowberry thanks sa compliment mo na lumaki akong mabuting tao. iba-iba rin kase yung paraan ng mga tao kung paano mag-cope-up sa ganitong sitwasyon. siguro kase para sakin mas nanaig ang pagmamahal at respeto ko sa mga nag-ampon sakin.

[Angelite]

I will definitely look for my biological family para lang wala akong 'what ifs' in the future.

[missyA]

IMO depende yan kung anung age mo na nalaman siguro mas okay kung nalaman mo at the time na matured ka na mag isip yung tipong you just can accept and let go of everything yung iba kasi they tend na maging rebelde not seeing the positive side of it.

[purple.strawberry]

Siguro ngayon okay lang. Di naman ako magagalit, inadopt pa nga ako di ba so I was able to live a normal life din. My parents are okay naman, but if they were abusive or unloving siguro magagalit ako.

[honeybunny]

When i was younger (gradeschool) i wished adopted ako. Kasi i have this ideal family in my mind (family first, happy family,etc) pero hindi ganyan ang kinalakihan kong family. Sad to say pero ganyan yung family ko and it upsets me.

When i was 12, they adopted a baby boy, since hindi marunong magpalaki ang parents ko (hindi rin kame lumaki sa kanila, ang mga nag alaga sa amin when we were younger was katulong, pinsan nila or kapatid nila), so pinaalaga din yung kapatid ko na yun sa ibang tao (sister ng mom ko) kaya lumaking hindi maganda.

Anyway for some reason kamukha namin sya. Ako mismo kamukha ko sya. Weird nga e. may time dati nung gradeschool sya nagrerebelde dahil nung nag away sila ng tita ko etong g*** kong tita sinabi na ampon sya.

Sabi naman ng isa kong tita sabi daw ng mom ko anak daw sya ng tatay ko from another mother, feeling ko gawa gawa lang nila yun kasi para hindi sumama loob ng kapatid ko.

[agape]

Nag-simba ako at maganda yung sermon tungkol sa adoption. Sa Bible nga naman may mga taong inampon din. Si Abraham inampon si Lot, nephew niya, kasi wala siyang anak, pero binigyan din naman siya ni God ng tunay na anak na si Isaac.

There's Moses who got adopted by the Egyptian Royalty. So fortunate to grow up as a Prince of Egypt. But it was God's plan, because he will deliver Israel out of Egypt. If he was not released by his parents, he would be killed since there was an order to kill the Hebrew babies.

There's Queen Esther, in the Book of Esther 2:7 and 2:15. She fulfilled her destiny of protecting the Jews/Israel from total annihilation.

Our Lord Jesus was also adopted by Joseph the carpenter. Mary was his biological mother, but not Joseph yet he accepted them as family in obedience to God. If Joseph did not obey God, Mary would be stoned to death if people learned she was pregnant out of wedlock.

For those who want to adopt, malay mo God has a plan for that baby/child, and God wants to use you as the foster parents to fulfill that baby/child's destiny, just like Moses, Esther and Jesus. Dapat lang tama ang pagpapalaki ng foster parents din, raise and love the adopted child like their own and no secrets about the adoption so the child will not feel betrayed later on.