Can you really say that he/she is the one?

[gwendy730]

When I was a kid, I asked my mom that very same question while I was looking at her and my dad's wedding album. "How do you know you've found the one?"

Her answer: "Imagine yourself standing by the altar on your wedding day. Now imagine him as your groom. Now picture yourself with him, and with your children. And growing old with him. If you can see this and feel it, he's the one."

That was my mom's advice to 7 year old me. Through the years, I've had loads of crushes, went on a few dates, entertained a few suitors but I could never picture myself with them the way my mom advised me to.

In 2010, I was courted by a man 7 years my senior, and who was based on Manila to boot (I was based in Cebu then). When we decided to meet, when I first saw him in the distance, BOOM! There it was, the image of him standing by the altar, in his barong, beaming a huge smile my way as I walk down the aisle. That image materialized to reality in 2013. Now, we're working together towards making the vision of laughing babies a reality

[kawen]

Inspiring stories, hay feel sooo good to give love and be loved.

As for me, ako na sa siguro ang pinaka-swerte at malas at the same time.. I am a single mom who got back with my ex and now BF.. 1 year lang kame when we were in college, our paths crossed 5 years after.. I had a baby with a psycho abusive ex, where the relationship was hell and he passed away..

My now BF, to me he is the best love I ever felt and I considered him The One..when I am with him everything feels right, I feel the real kind of love with him.. I am lucky because for all these years he never had any gf or loved anyone after our relationship.. so syempre ako lang, all his FIRSTS.. he loves me so much and is very affectionate and caring..

Now the deal breakers, as much as I wanted him to be The One, there are a lot things to deal with and accept: #1 he has a mental illness, anxiety, schizo, etc.. this just rarely happens, he doesn't go crazy or anything, he shares na mentally disturbed siya.. #2 he is not well established in his career, until now staff level pa rin siya in a CC, he can have 2-3 companies in a year... he doesn't perform well.. Those are my observations.. do you think this is better than a guy who is established but cheats on you? Also, we had the discussion of not having kids in the future because he doesn't want to pass on his sickness.. but I really wanted to have atleast 1 more, my son now is turning 5..

We are both 30 now.. I don't know if the relationship is worth it all, I want him to be The One.. I don't know what to do..

[confusedgirl2014]

I want to get the opinion of guys. My boyfriend proposed 2 weeks ago but im not sure if he really loves me. For the guys out there, how would you know shes the one?

[j.adore]

Why aren't you sure? Did you accept his proposal?

[ohcmon]

^^ How can you say that he's not sure if he loves you when he proposed?

[confusedgirl2014]

I dont see an effort from him. Early this year, i caught him up flirting with other girls.  Girls mind is totally different with girls so im asking advice from boys out there. Im not sure if he really wanted to marry me to secure his future.

[simang]

I want to get the opinion of guys. My boyfriend proposed 2 weeks ago but im not sure if he really loves me. For the guys out there, how would you know shes the one?

Stop asking yourself if he really loves you. Instead, ask yourself if the love he's shown you thus far is the kind of love you want for the rest of your life. If it isn't, then why are you even with him?

Not to be mean or anything, but you are the perfect example of a woman in a relationship just for the sake of. Go find the man you want to marry. Apparently, your doubt means don't.

[sugardrop]

I felt it the first time we met. The feeling was so much different and overwhelming that I silently cursed when I first saw him standing there. Or baka na-aning lang ako because I've never felt "that" with my other exes.

[simple_trish26]

Long before, I thought he was the one, we were both happy then, no big issues, or small issues turned big. Now, we're on a long distance relationship since March 26. On the first 4 months, we managed to see each other once a month. I am in Singapore and he's still in Manila that time. Palitan lang kami, nung May, ako umuwi ng Pinas, June sya pumunta dito sa SG, then July, ako umuwi ulit sa Pinas.

Then July 19, he flew to US. Dun na nagstart lumabo, timezone difference and him being not expressive. Mejo nasusurvive pa nung una, then September came, parang di na ko happy. Last week, nagskype kami, he's playing DoTA at the same time, and masungit pa kausap kasi hindi daw okay yung connection ko. I told him I was offended few days after that incident, then I also asked him politely if we can talk via Viber call kahit once a week, aside from skype sa weekend. He agreed, said sorry, and hindi na daw mauulit.

Pero, ewan ko, these days, I feel unhappy na. Hindi na sya malambing, tipid magmessage, though everyday, nagmemessage naman sya sa FB. Tapos yung girl, na pinagseselosan ko dati, nigreet nya sa FB ng "Happy Birthday", and he never greeted me on FB. Kaya ngayon, I'm thinking it twice.

Hintayin ko nalang muna siguro matapos yung NY FL trip namin on Nov 2014, then, let's see kung okay pa ba talaga kami. Sorry mahaba. Hoping for your advice sissies.

[Ireneeeeee]

For me, it's when the stars seem to align just for you and him to be together. In short, no stress and no complications. When I met my h2b, I felt weird kasi parang matagal na kami magkakilala.. And he even said it too. It was like I came in his life in the right time and place..like God had prepared us for each other. Chauce. Syempre nag- aaway pa rin kami. But the joy still far outweighs the nuisances and sadness.

[j.adore]

Nice to know there's a lot of couples having that feeling na parang matagal na magkakilala
At the same time, do you guys also have the feeling that you're a new couple kahit matagal na kayo?

[simang]

^all the time!! Everyday i learn things about him that surprises me in a good way. Sabi ko nga, never kami nawala sa honeymoon phase.. Araw araw may kilig and we still can't get our hands off each other. Yung physical attraction is consistently on a high, and people always tell us na palpable talaga ang chemistry namin. Well our relationship is relatively young, nonetheless i am so satisfied with our dynamics. Mas naging consistent pa nga kami with our efforts. It's the appropriate combination talaga of emotional connection and physical attraction, love and lust if you may. Sometimes it feels too good to be true, pero thankful na lang ako everyday. Magrereklamo pa ba ako if i have a smooth sailing relationship? Di na no. Appreciate na lang all the time

[richnskinny]

you really can't tell or at least it's very difficult to do so.
as research so succinctly puts it, the science of love is exposure.
you eventually fall for someone "close" to you, someone whom you are in constant contact with.
the real test of love is time and physical distance.
now we don't need any scientific study to figure that one out.

[milkshake18]

^i agree you wont know right away. ive been in a relationship  for 4 years now and were getting married soon.  we started as friends, we got to know each other that way. then eventually went into the MU stage were we go out have dates but we dont have the bf-gf label yet. we just watch movies have dinner, talk and get to know each other more.. i just played along kasi deep down i started liking him so i wanted to be around him most of the time,  pero at the same time i kept my feelings to myself because i wasn't sure if he felt the same. and being friends complicates things. kasi i dont know if he was just being friendly and that i was just over-analyzing the situation..

to cut the long story short it was more or less 2 yrs in that friends-MU-no-lable stage . then finally one day,  he asked me if i want to be his gf then that's it, after 4 yrs of being his gf plus the 2 yrs MU foundation. im more than sure na he's the one! kaya im marrying him.  so i guess my story is, it didnt happen overnight. nag-grow kami in the relationship and now we both cant imagine growing old with someone else. and all the while, he felt the same way towards me pala! 

[missyA]

Sabi nila you will know that you know kapag siya na yung "the one" and kapag nakita mo daw yung taong yun may certain spark..Ewan ko pero sa isang guy ko naramdaman yun as in sure na sure ako na siya yung makakatuluyan ko unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya parang may certain attraction na agad not the physical attraction na tinatawag nila pero yung naramdaman ko sa kanya kakaiba talaga ang weird lang..Anyone na naka-experience na nun?

[purplegravity]

There was no spark when i met my fiance, as in friend lang yung treatment ko sa kanya.  As we spent more time with each other, i saw qualities in him that i really love.   He is so thougthful, very caring and he treat me like a queen. And we have a lot of things we love to do together.

Yes, you will know if he's the one but during your relationship.

[erza0916]

Nung unang una ko nakita si husband noong highschool pa lang kami nasabi ko talaga sa sarili "akin na toh" as in literal na nasabi ko ng malakas narinig pa ng friend ko hehe. Nabighani ako sa kaputian nya para syang kumikinang talaga. Hahaha at nagustuhan ko aura nya. Syempre hindi ganung kadali yun. Mahiyain sya kasi senior year na sya nagtransfer. Never ko naramdaman yunh naramdaman kong yun sa ibang tao. I can honestly say love at first sight yun.

Nakipagkaibigan ako sa kanya. Lagi ako nag hhello sa kanya kahit muka akong t**** kasi hindi nya naman ako kilala. Hahaha kinuha ko pa number nya sa friend nya nabaliw talaga ako..pero pasalamat ako dahil siguro gusto din nya kasi nagrereply sya pag nagttext ako.at kahit adik sya sa online games may time sya makipagusap sakin. sinasabi pa ng friends nya na hindi naman nagloload yun pero nung tntxt ko sya nagloload na sya.edi kinilig naman si bakla.haha hanggang naging kami na...

Pero syempre hindi lahat smooth sailing. Dumaan kami sa mahabang LDR, sa matinding awayan, hanggang nagkasawaan na umabot sa infidelity on my part (sobrang regret ko yun)..nung LDR kami wala talagang time and hirap kasi gabi sakin umaga sakanya. Kya ayun naging insecure ako at naghanap ng iba..iiwan ko na dapat sya hindi dahil hindi ko na sya mahal kungdi dahil sa nagawa ko..hindi ko napatawad sarili ko pero pinaglaban nya.. dun ko naconfirm na sya na talaga ang "the one"

8 years ang nakalipas mula sa una naming pagkikita..ngayon kasal na kami and expecting. I can't say na happily ever after dahil alam ko marami pa kaming pagdadaanan.

I guess masasabi ko na totoo nga na maffeel mo yung feeling na sya na yung "the one" pero paghihirapan mo din at the same time.

[Girltalker2]

I really don't know. Coming from a failed marriage, I also thought my ex hubby was the one. Otherwise, bakit naman ako magpapakasal sa kanya di ba? Everything felt right as well. No doubts on our part. Before the marriage, typical bf-gf relationship na minsan nagkakaron ng misunderstanding.

But things did not work out, so hindi pala sya yung The One.

Now I have a BF, how do I know he is the one - I still don't know. Everything feels right as well.  And I must say he is a better partner than my ex. Much better.  We have a lot in common din.

[purple.strawberry]

I thought my first ex-boyfriend was "the one", and he felt the same as well. We were the cute high school couple that lasted for several years din, everybody was sure we would get married na. But that confidence was the very same thing that undid us. Since sure na kami sa isa't isa we weren't careful with each other na, we forgot to do the little acts of kindness that eventually make up and sustain a great relationship. So naghiwalay din kami in the end.

I did not feel the same thing with my next serious relationship, but that guy was a better partner and we were so much compatible rather than my first ex.

So maybe for people like me, it's difficult to say that a person is "the one." I believe that it's a choice e. You love somebody so much so you decide that he's "the one," and then you do everything to keep him despite the flaws and shortcomings. In this life we have a lot of potential life partners, so it's really our choice which person we'd like to be our "one."

[hedonista]

Can you really say it? or did you work for it? Some said that they just know that their special one is "the one", but.. can you really tell?

please tell me your story guys that led you to that conclusion.. that you guys end up together.. but happily ah..  i'll be happy to read it. 

Hi TS,

When I was in college I used to call myself the cynical sinister spinster because I believed that love is just a chemical reaction. Then I met my husband, at first I never thought he was the one. Sabi ko, tseh pheromones lang yan! mawawala rin.

So, can I really tell? No. Maybe it was right at that moment. That moment he was the one. But I did not confirm. Though some would say we were destined to be. When he asked to have his child and marry me, I did not think twice. It was complete trust. Bulag pipi bingi nga daw ang umiibig sabi ng isang friend ko na mas matanda sa akin.

Did we work for it? YES AND YES and we still do. I say, we need to fall in love again and again with the same person. 80/20 rule also applies. You already have 80%. don't go looking for the missing 20% in other possible partner. Fall in love again and again with your chosen one. CHOSEN ONE, yes that is it. Not THE ONE for me