Dota or me? Haaay. Please help me. :(

[syril06]

  I just broke up with my boyfriend because he doesn't have enough time for me. He's always playing that online game which is called DOTA then he's just gonna chat with me when their game ends then after a few minutes he'll say wait again coz he's gonna play. That's our situation the whole day. Every night i always wait for him because he's playing until 1am. I don't know but he gives more attention on playing than talking to me.  We are in a long distance relationship so communication is really important.  I don't know what to do. I don't know if i made the right decision. I want him to realize my importance. I want him to chase me. Please i really need your help. 

[whitelady17]

Hi sis ngayon lang ba siya nag laro ng dota or dati pa? Well kasi kung bago pa lang siya naglalaro niyan understandable talaga na ma hook siya ng bongga.

Tama communication is part of the LDR relationship but then maybe he also needs his "me" time. Instead of waiting for him if kaya mo try to learn the game also puwede naman na sabay kayong maglaro ng kahit magkalayo.

OR better yet may fixed schedule ang skype etc ninyo prior siya maglaro?

[trishnottrash]

Yung ex ko mahilig din jan. Pinapayagan ko sya maglaro pero 4-5 hrs lang twing off nya. Dapat mag set ka ng limit pagdating jan pagusapan nyo yan ng maige.

[simang]

I don't know if i made the right decision. I want him to realize my importance. I want him to chase me. Please i really need your help. 

ito lang gusto kong ipoint out sa post mo, break up with him because you're unhappy and he doesn't deserve you, not because you want him to chase you. you're coming from a wrong place dito pa lang.

if the dota and lack of time and communication significantly bothers you, then break up and find a man who'll spend more time with you. if you can keep up with him, then stay. dapat marunong tayo magfilter ng stressful things and people sa buhay natin. mahirap na nga ang buhay tapos dadagdagan mo pa ng ganyang stress.

magtry ka din ng bagong hobbies, para naman hindi ka lang nag -aantay sa kanya palagi. so habang busy sya, dapat busy ka din. lalo na LDR kayo ang dami mong pwedeng gawin kase wala sya dito. kung may common free time kayo dun kayo mag usap.

[Girltalker2]

Yung ex ko mahilig din jan. Pinapayagan ko sya maglaro pero 4-5 hrs lang twing off nya. Dapat mag set ka ng limit pagdating jan pagusapan nyo yan ng maige.

Is it really something na kelangan nya ipagpaalam kung puede sya maglaro o hindi?  Hindi na sya bata, he knows what he wants and he is also supposed to know his limits. And you're not his mother.

I feel these games are no-brainers.  Nakakabobo.  Tapos pigilan mo man, kapag kaharap ka, blanko na ang utak nya kasi games lagi ang iniisip. So bale wala.   What kind of a relationship can you gain from a man na naghuhumaling sa games?  Di ko alam, never been there. But it sounds like it is not a relationship I would dream to be in.

  I just broke up with my boyfriend because he doesn't have enough time for me.

Good for you sis.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if i made the right decision. I want him to realize my importance. I want him to chase me. Please i really need your help. 

You did the right thing.  You made the right decision. So don't worry.

You cannot make someone realize your importance kung hindi ka talaga importante sa kanya.  You cannot make people chase you.

Sino ba sa inyo ang wala sa Pinas?

Anyway, you have a full life ahead of you.  Once you meet the right guy that can shower you with his attention, iuuntog mo nalang ang ulo mo sa pader kung bakit ka nag aaksaya ng panahon sa isang lalaking naghuhumaling sa DOTA.

[saberjade]

what's the status now?

I hope you moved on. DOTA is just one aspect of his life. If he can't set aside time for you from trivial computer games, what more for other things? Find a guy who can balance his life with you in it.

My ex got kicked out of college for playing DOTA instead of going to class. Glad I moved on from him!

Find a more mature guy.

[SarSi_Em]

hay sis, di ka nag iisa, dito nag start mag kalamat relasyon namin, pag nag start na sya mag dota nawawala sya ng weeks - months, babalik na lang pag tinamad na mag dota or kahit kasama ako nag lalaro pa rin. tapos dumating ang diablo, ganun uli. pag balik nya may bago na ko bf 

masaklap dito na sa early 30s na ang ex ko that time 

[toreros]

I used to play but things should be set in proper perspective. Dota is just a game but is Life for some people. No qualms with gamers but remember, it can't love you back. You lose, you just reset things, but when you breaks your girls heart, she slowly fades away.

[j.adore]

It's trivial pero ang dami na nag break dahil dito. May kanta at video pa nga na ginawa like the thread title.

Did you try to play din pero di mo talaga type? If you can't beat them, join them?

Feeling ko kaya siya ganyan kasi hinayaan mo. Tama yung suggestion na may set time for communication dahil LDR kayo. It will also give him and you own time for interests.

My Fiancé is a gamer and I play another game naman but not regularly. Isa yan DOTA sa games niya at mahaba talaga laruin.
Dating or errands together come first (I'm his priority naman at di pwede lagi laro lang). Then parang reward niya yung play time and I don't bother him much. Hanap lang ng gawin while he's playing

[imyourangel]

While it's true that our partners are already in the right age at hindi na baby, iba pa din yung napaguusapan ang mga bagay bagay. Hindi naman lahat eh alam natin. We need to help each other, to build each other up. Hindi pwede yung "bahala ka na, malaki ka na, alam mo na yan" sabi nga nila.. if you see anything wrong with your partner, guide him. Just my 0.2 c

So kapag issue sa inyo ang DOTA, better have a deal about it or something, na maguusap muna kayo or whatever decision you can come up with. Communication is key!

[lester0927]

simple lang ang solution sisters, pag aralan niyong maglaro ng DOTA, then beat your bf! In that case kahiya hiya ang mangyayari sa bf niyo dahil natalo siya ng gf niya! In fact, pag nanagyari yun, ikaw pa mismo ang hahamunin niya maglaro, then siyempre sabihin mo sa kaniya, ang bopols naman pala niya maglaro kahit practice pa siya ng practice. Then tell him if kung gusto niya makabawi, he must live by your rules on playing DOTA. Limit his time on playing like 3-4hrs lang max. Then siyempre ikaw magpraktis ka pa para pag naglaro kayo 1 on 1, eh panis bf mo! Hindi mo lang nakuha attention ng bf mo, feeling pa ng bf mo bopols sha maglaro dahil natalo siya ng girl! hahaha 

[Girltalker2]

Men who play for days or months continuously obviously are not ready for relationships. Dapat hindi nalang sila nag gf kung hindi din nila kaya bigyan ng oras ang gf nila.

[lester0927]

Maybe nagpapractice siya to join a dota tournament and probably winning the prize para may pang date siya sa gf nya. Kung kayo ngang mga girls ang tagal mag shopping, pipili lang ng sapatos or bag abutin na ng 3 hrs eh mukha namang pare parehas itsura nila. Haha! ganun din yun sa guy na nagdodota, walang contentment sa part ng guy. So take my advice sisters, learn to play dota. 😜

[simang]

So guys should learn how shoe shopping as well

[three8one]

hindi naman kailangan i compare ang sarili mo ts sa DOTA eh.. payag ka ba nun sa isang online/pc game ka lang maihahalintulad? so, hindi mo kailangan papiliin ang ex/bf mo kung alin/sino sa inyo ang piliin nya.. kung naramdaman mo na wala ka ng importansya sa ex/bf mo then you decide kung dapat mo pa ipagpatuloy yung pakikipagrelasyon mo. kung mahal mo pa at pakiramdam mo the feeling is mutual pa din naman eh di stay ka then try to talk to him (real talk) be honest sa kanya na hindi mo gusto yung gawain nya na mas madami pa sya time ginugugol sa laro kesa oras nyong dalawa... palagay ko proper communication lang ang key jan...

[Girltalker2]

So guys should learn how shoe shopping as well

Haha Oo Nga!!

Pero seriously, I think playing too much/excessive computer games is damaging to the brain, cuts off the person's ties with anyone. Kaya nasisira ang relasyon with parents, kids, gf because communicating in an engaged manner with others is simply impossible.

Buying shoes on the other hand, still allows the individual to function normally, think and communicate.

palagay ko proper communication lang ang key jan...

That's the point. Di mo makakausap ng matino ang isang taong addicted to online gaming. That's why the only solution is to let him be and move on. Kung ready na sya makipag relasyon at hinahanap hanap kA nya, tsaka na kayo mag usap. You cannot wait forever naman kasi unfair sayo mag antay nang di mo sure kelan matapos gaming nya at kung kelan malinaw utak nya for a good communication/relationship.

[cecilydee]

I think kailangan nang bigyan ng ultimatum ang bf mo sis. Kung ako yan ireready ko na ang sarili ko sakaling pinili niya ang DOTA sa akin lol. Gaya ni Girltalker, naniniwala akong walang magandang maidudulot ang online gaming - what more kung addiction

[lester0927]

Kung mahilig ka sa lord of the rings, maappreciate mo yung game. It also improves your reasoning and analytical skills on how to beat your opponent. Parang chess lang. Kaya ayaw lang ng mga girls [textspeak!] dota kasi ayaw nila ng mga complicated thinking, kaya ang mga laro lang nila chinese garter, jackstone, etc lol, compared sa guys na gusto nila yung nachachallenge sila. Although i agree na nakakasira talaga ng utak yung sobrang addicted sa dota, hindi na kumakain, hindi na pumapasok sa work or school, well ibang usapan na yun! Dapat moderate lang ang paglalaro. But there's only one way to win your bf back, and yun yung nauna kong suggestion. Lol. otherwise, kung talagang ayaw mo i try [textspeak!] suggestion ko, break kung break! Pakasalan nya yung dota nya! Hahahaha

[17glut]

mahirap talaga bitawan ang mga kinakaadikan kesyo bisyo sa games, yosi, alak, etc..ang pinagkaiba lang kasi ng sa games is its simply fun. Both men and women alike needs a hobby too pero pag napasobra at na-compromise na ang oras para sa mga importanteng bagay dun na sya hindi nagiging healthy and that's a fact. It should be, in all facets of life, in moderation lang - enough na yung mga 2 hrs every night, etc.

Technique lang naman kasi dyan is proper communication, bigyan mo ng ultimatum yung isa para madala then pag hindi nag comply diretso hiwalay na agad. Kaya nga tayo pumapasok sa isang relasyon is for companionship and to have someone to be there for us tapos ibabaling pa yung majority ng oras nya sa ibang bagay. Pag may puwang ka pa sa buhay nya sya dapat mag aadjust para syo. My ex-gf had this ugali before na everytime we're out on a date, halos parati natanghod sa fb sa phone nya so dedma lang pero after the date prinangka ko sya thru text about it and mula nun hindi na nya nilalabas phone nya pag magkasama kami.

[jasmine18]

I remember my ex in college. Sa kanya naman Ragnarok. He asks me to stay sa computer shop near our school where he play these games and just browse the internet (wala pang 3G or mobile internet nun, hehe). When I get bored reading, pinapatulog nya ko sa tabi nya or bibili sya ng food and we eat still inside the computer shop. It went on for about 1-2 months na hinihintay ko sya matapos sa paglalaro para maihatid nya ko pauwi. I broke up with him after summer vacation (and I had a summer fling which turned into another heartbreak)