CONSERVATIVE FAMILY

[Cessiechu]

Hi I'm 22 years old. I am the breadwinner since I was 18. My dad died when I was 9. Age ko na lang yata ang bata haha pero sa dame ng napagdaanan ko para na yatang 28 years old utak ko.
Anyway, my family is a born again christian and against sila sa live in or sex before marriage (the usual). Alam ko naman yun kaso di namin mapigilan hinde magsama ni BF dahil LDR kame.
I am in a relationship for more than 5 years tapos seaman yung BF ko. He is helping me financially lalo na sa mommy ko na dina-dialysis. My salary is not enough for the bills, rent, medication and all the stuff. Walang work ang mommy ko dalawa lang kame. My mom's siblings are really big help naman talaga.

Now, yung BF ko came from a broken family so saken or samin na siya ni mama umuuwe kada baba niya. Nahihirapan kami kasi kapitbahay lang namin mga tita ko and nagagalit sila kapag dun natutulog BF ko. Di pa kalakihan sweldo ni BF and mag eexam pa siya and training which is expensive so hinde option na mag rent siya. Di ko rin maiwan si mama kase nga maysakit. Ok lang sa mama ko kaso yung mga kapatid niya syempre dahil malaki ang natutulong samin, pakekelaman talaga pati ako. Naawa ako sa BF ko kase need niya magtago everytime may pupunta sa bahay.

Pinipilit nila magpakasal na kame kaso ayaw pa ni BF kase gusto niya pag kinasal kame bilang lalake, kaya na niya ako at mga future kids namin buhayin kahit pa hinde ako magwork. Ako naman makakapaghintay naman ako lalo na ang priority namin sa ngayon ay Exam niya.

Any suggestion Give me your insights mga sissies please!!

[simang]

If it's okay with your mom, then i think you're fine.

Your titas can say all they want to say, kahit naman anong gawin natin someone will say something eh, so just be nice and respectful to them, and still do your thing.

[aquacharly]

Your titas will of course have a lot to say & really insist --  they are helping you, so translation: may k to PAKIALAM. But bottom line, they love you. Bottom line, ayaw nila malagay ka sa ewan na situation.   Sa matatanda kasi, money is the easiest problem to solve.  Oo  mahirap to get more or enough of it -- but, as my Lola says -- of the major problems, it is  the most "solvable".  Unlike a philandering husband, a child with a birth defect, a degenerative disease, a pregnancy out of wedlock, a bwis*t MIL, etc etc etc -- you get the drift? 

As you say:  bihira naman your bf is there.  So, the path of least resistance is to continue what you do --  hide him when somebody drops by. 

Why can't you marry now? The usual answer I get is: we are saving for a grand wedding; but you didn't say that.     IF he marries you now, ganon pa rin naman:  he keeps his job, he doesn't get a pay cut, LDR pa rin kayo, you both help your mom.  There is no financial deterrent nor negative result if you marry now.  Makaka save pa rin sya -- kasi he MUST, so he WILL save for his training & exam.  Que single or married, que sharing your expenses or not --  he will do what it takes as his career path requires.  So, that poofs away your side of the argument.  Hindi kita pinapakaba - I just want you to think more, and go through all this with eyes wide open. 

He says he wants to marry when he is more financially stable. Fine, respect that.  You have  no choice really but to wait -- if you want to gamble/hope on marrying this guy.

IMO, but what do I know, really?:   Continue hiding him quesa you take the tiring stance of being on the defensive with your talkative aunts. AND be sure your birth control choice is darn effective.  I have seen some so-in-love men turn cold pag sila eh na bulaga, as in:  I'm pregnant!  That kind of announcement screws up their plans, & some resent it forever.  Just saying. 

[khriseeee]

If he's already helping you and your mom with some of your bills, isn't that already providing for you and his "future family"?

I've always been told there is no "right time" to get married, just reasons why people don't want to get married. Suggest you heed aquacharly's advice, nothing would change in your setup when you're married. Unless you both are still unsure of one another or still want to live your lives before settling down?

[snowberry]

Actually he is treating you better than other husband do to  their wife since supportive siya to you and your mom on your financial needs . Wala ka rin naman na mention na masama ugali nya .

Of course , the titas will comment on your arrangement  knowing that your neighbors chat when your bf sleep over, that's normal usually sa neighborhood, especially napaka bata mo pa.

I don't want to say magpakasal na kayo if hindi pa talaga ready si bf . Sometimes the  guy's attitude changes pag nagpakasal ng hindi pa ready talaga, napilitan lang kung baga  . But, have a serious talk with him too, kung ano plano sa future nyo.  Just take care nga na huwag ma preggy dahil that's another issue naman .