Hindi na Magmamahal Ulit

[green-aholic]

Dumating ba kayo sa point na nasabi nyo na hindi na kayo magmamahal ulit? Yun bang parang pagod na kayo sa mga nangyayari at nawalan na kayo ng pag asa na darating pa yung isang taong magmamahal sayo? I'm at this point in my life now. To make it easier for me to meet someone kase I am using the social media. Siguro din the reason why its happening over again eh dahil dito ako patuloy na nagkakamali at di pa ako natuto. Kahit saan parang manloloko mga natatapat saken. Hindi ko alam kung anung problema saken. Haaay.. 

[MsAphrodite]

Hi sis green-aholic, para sakin, ang dapat mong gawin is mag focus ka muna sa sarili mo. find ways on how to improve yourself, kasi siguro baka there's something wrong that's why you keep on attracting wrong guys. love yourself first hayaan mo muna ang guys. Yes, super masarap sa feeling yung may nagmamahal satin na ibang tao, pero it should start within ourselves, dapat mahal muna natin ang sarili natin, para mag radiate yung love to all the guys out there. Spend more alone-time. Good luck, I know you can do it. And, cheer up! Always smile

[palamig]

wag mo hanapin, kusa dadating sayo ang tunay na magmamahal sayo ng hindi mo namamalayan. wag ka magmadali, try mo muna i enjoy yun sarili mo ngayon sis. 

[sugardrop]

Do all the things you want to do, kung meron ka na nung bucket list na na-mention mo before, sis, while waiting for the right man who is deserving of your love and will love you as well. Pag positive vibes, you will also attract someone na positive din sa buhay mo.

I reached that point in 2012 after getting out of an abusive relationship (emotionally) and exactly a year after, someone came along. That was during the time na I was generally happy with my life and my outlook in life is naging positive overall. Kaya don't give up on love and men. And most importantly, do not give up on yourself, that you deserve a chance at happiness sa lovelife mo.

[insanelypurpleprincess]

No, I can't say that I ever reached a point that I kind of just said 'no more' or 'not again' in reference to love and loving someone. However, it must be because I was blessed to be in one relationship after another... yun lang ang blessed part, kasi di nawawalan. Pero to say that it was all happiness within the relationships, hindi rin. I've been with someone who cheated on me, I've been with one who was suicidal, I've also been with someone who probably just wanted to be with me because of what we have rather than who I really am, so it's really a matter of attracting the right kind of guy. It's not enough that you're with someone, you have to be with the right one for you (at least). Because a guy can be all that you dreamed of, but if he isn't the right one for you, then it won't work. Like they said, do self-reflection... go back and find out why history keeps repeating itself.. perhaps, because you've always done things the same way therefore results are always the same and lead to frustration. Minsan, all you need to do is take one step back and change in tactics. Best of luck on the mission... to ever after. In the meantime, focus on making yourself an awesome catch.

[amethyst028]

never give up sis. siguro pahinga ka muna, spend more time with yourself, get to know yourself all over again. and tama mga nagsabi na kusang darating iyan. have faith.

also if your medium of meeting guys doesn't work try finding other ways to meet new people. join organizations or take a class. basta in line with your interest.

i get you. nakakapagod talaga lalo na kung puro palpak ang nakikila mo. maybe this is the right time to re think and re assess your choices in men. and maybe you attract those kinds of men kasi yung ang energy na ine-exude mo. change your frame of mind and your view of the world will change as well. same with finding a mate.

[simang]

If you only realize how powerful your thoughts are, you wouldn't dare say such thing.

[lesters_gal]

Ako minsan ganito din ako lalo na kapag nag natatapos na yung relationship. Nakakapagod naman talaga ang magmahal lalo na kung ikaw lang ang nagmahal ng todo alam mo binigay at ginawa mo lahat pero in the end nag fail parin. Pero after ko mahimasmasan at nakabangon na uli ako at buo na uli ang puso ko na magmahal uli ng bago, go parin ako. Natatakot na ako masaktan pero iniisip ko nalang you have to try and try until you die..charoot.lol kasi kung hindi natin susubukan uli pano natin matatagpuan yung tamang tao para sa atin di ba? Wag ka matakot sis magmahal uli part talaga yun ng buhay na masaktan tayo, para maging strong tayo sa lahat ng bagay. I know how you feel sis, i've been there many times but still eto parin ako still waiting for my prince charming, we have to be very patient and positive lang talaga that in time darating din sha sa buhay natin. Just hold on, be strong, keep the faith... :-)

[baliwsayo]

I only feel that a day after a failed relationship. Pero sumunod na araw binabawi ko na. Sarap sarap magmahal eh. Hehe. You know what, you are what you think you are.

[purple.strawberry]

Stop with the self-pity sis.. Tsaka don't think na puro manloloko mga nakikilala mo. Gamit ka law of attraction kumbaga. If you believe na ganun talaga mga lalake, aba ganun talaga maaattract mo sa buhay mo. Masarap magmahal if it's with the right person.

[green-aholic]

Thanks mga sis sa tulong at mga advices nyo. Napakalaking bagay at napakalaking tulong kasi na me support group na ganito kalakas magpatatag ng loob mo na mag eencourage sayo na iimprove ang sarili mo. Hindi ko man kayo kilala, thanks talaga!

@ MsAphrodite
Hi sis, tama yung sinabi mo, dapat laging unahin ko munang pagbutihin ang sarili ko. ayoko na munang isipin ang mga lalaki na yan. kaya ko to!

@ palamig
hindi nga dapat hanapin o hintayin. ayoko na din mag expect. go with the flow na lang siguro ako. kung ano ang mangyari, dun na lang siguro ako para less disappointment.

@ sugardrop
hi sis, thanks for reminding me the bucket list, atleast meron nakong pagkakabusyhan nga pala. madami pa akong gustong gawin and maybe now is the right time to do all of it. masyado ko kasi talaga siguro isinisiksik ang love life ko kaya palaging nagkakaganito kaya hindi ko na ipipilit.

@ insanelypurpleprincess
i really need to change tactics siguro. sa ngayon ayoko na muna isipin ang mga bagay na yan. move on na lang muna talaga. dapat talaga matuto nako sa mga paulit ulit na nangyari. kelangan na baguhin ang mga bagay bagay.

@ amethyst028
thanks sis, babaguhin ko na talaga yung mga dapat kong baguhin hindi para sa iba kundi para sa sarili ko. ienrich ko na muna sarili ko sa mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko para kahit dun man lang happy at satisfied ako.

@ simang
nasaktan ako and i need to vent out my feelings. yun lang.

@ lesters_gal
bahala na sis, kung may dumating eh mabuti, kung wala baka me mabuting rason din naman. hindi na talaga ko maghahanap or mag aantay. bahala na si Lord, alam kong me plano sya saken na lahat ay para sa aking kabutihan.

@ baliwsayo
ok na naman ako sis. di na ganun kaapektado gaya nung una. nakakadala lang kasi talaga pag nasasaktan kasi baka yung susunod pero wag naman sana na ganun pa din.

@ purple.strawberry
thanks sis. masarap talaga pag narereciprocate. kaya hindi nako mag eexpect. saka ko na iisipin ang mga lalake. tama ang sinabi ng ibang sis na mag enjoy muna ako at pagtuunan ko ng pansin ang sarili ko, yung overall improvement ko sa lahat ng aspect ng buhay ko..


salamat ulit sa mga advice nyo.

[Girltalker2]

Since I only had 1 serious and failed relationship, di ko naman siguro nasabi na never nako iibig.  Pero ang pangamba ko before is if I can ever love someone.  The fear na baka hindi nako makapag mahal ng ibang tao maliban sa ex ko.

Natatakot na ako masaktan pero iniisip ko nalang you have to try and try until you die..charoot.lol kasi kung hindi natin susubukan uli pano natin matatagpuan yung tamang tao para sa atin di ba? Wag ka matakot sis magmahal uli part talaga yun ng buhay na masaktan tayo, para maging strong tayo sa lahat ng bagay.

Ang approach ko naman sa mga ganyang bagay eh not to try and try.  But rather THINK and be able to DECIPHER the quality guys from the not-so-good guys.

Yes, go on and meet. Pero meet lang, DO NOT LOVE immediately.  Siguro kasi kung bata ka pa, mas madali kang magmahal?  Pero kung mas mature ka na, mas madali mo na ma control ang feelings mo in such a way na KINIKILATIS mo muna dapat ang guy kung pasado sya sa BASIC CRITERIA mo, yung mga non-negotiable, bago ka magmahal ng buong buo.

Hindi purkit you are single at available at sya rin, go na. Hindi kasi ganun kasimple.  Marami pang ibang factors that you should look at for you to consider a long term relationship with someone.

Love is complicated.

[lesters_gal]

^yes sis you are right hindi naman porket may mga manliligaw ka eh go lang ng go. What i mean is yun nga kapag my dumating of course sasalain mo sila isa2x kung sino ang pasok sa mga criteria mo di ba, tapos kapag nakapili ka na dun ka na mag start na kilalanin yung tao. . .  Kapag nag matured ka na iba na ang tingin mo sa love, at hindi ka na rin basta2x mag entertain ng suitor just for the sake of  having one. Malalaman mo agad kung yung lalaki ba is talagang seryoso sayo or iba lang ang gusto sayo... You'll become wiser lalo na kapag nasaktan ka ng sobra from your past relationship. Ako naniniwala ako na every heartbreak is always a blessing from god, kasi ibig sabihin nun nilayo tayo ni god sa maling tao. Nasaktan man tayo pero yung sakit na yun ang naging way para maging matatag tayo sa buhay pag ibig...

[green-aholic]

@ Girltalker2, lesters_gal

ganyan naman ako sis kasi dati pa natuto nako. i'm turning 28, my past relationship was 6 yrs ago pa. from that experience that hurted me, i learned to decipher na the good ones from the bad and yung mga nagkukunwari lang mabait dahil iba ang agenda sayo. the only problem i have is once nagustuhan ko, i always fall too hard and i know thats one thing i should do something about. its not too hard for me to control my feelinga especially if alam kong hindi naman masusuklian pero there are like this one na hindi ko nakontrol, i got caught up with his sweet lies.

tama naman na if me manliligaw ka, hindi ka dapat go palagi, and dapat talaga salain. you should not be in a relationship dahil lanh sa kelangan, and so dapat mameet mo din yung standards mo sa guy. i think ive been careful enough kaso eto nga pinapasok ko yung isang to. alam ko din dapat ko na baguhin yung mga mali ko before in terms of where i find ways to meet men.

right now im doing ok. its just a phase of life talaga na kelangan mo masaktan in order to really learn, gaya nga ng sabi nyo na para maging matatag. i am always positive naman na theres a reason why im here.

thanks mga sis sa mga inputs nyo. it helped a lot!

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, yun naman pala, your ex is a liar.  so talagang hindi uubra.  It is better to get hurt now at maaga ka maka move on kesa later na mali ang napili mo na partner only to find out kung kasal na kayo.

You are still young. And marami ka pang mam-meet. It is just too bad, my experience taught me na maraming Pinoy ang manloloko relative to other nationalities I have dated (though konti lang naman ang sample size ko hehe).  Minsan iniisip ko, is there something wrong with me bakit ako lapitin ng mga sinungaling.  Pero hindi eh.  I believe nasa culture ng mga lalaki natin eh.  I personally don't like din yung paligoy ligoy pa, or nagl-lie kasi natatakot mahurt ka, or di maka communicate sayo ng direcho, etc.  I only found this side of me when I started dating different nationalities.  So go and meet different people muna.  Yung pakilala lang ng kakilala ha, huwag through internet or people you meet on the streets, delikado iyan sa Pinas.    Basta meet ng meet lang na naka sala naman.  Then dun mo makikilala ang sarili mo, makikila ano ba talaga ang hanap mo.

Eventually, I believe mam-meet mo rin ang para sayo.  Malamang hindi pa time. Minsan naisip ko rin dati, malamang hindi sya para sakin, and God has better plans for me.

[Keiyt]

Yes that I have told myself never to love again. Pero bawi bawi rin, kasi mahirap na baka masumpa ko sarili ko.

Kidding aside, explore more of your interests and join classes, travel more and so on. Everyone has ideal guy, and maraming guys who will match your criteria and chances are may matitino talaga. Let's say you'd want to meet someone who is athletic. You don't simply go to any gym and sign up, you go running around the fields, join marathons, do other sporty activities. Most likely you'll meet interesting people along your journey. Yes you have met your ideal person, pero plus points lang yon. What would matter is kung merong spark talaga. Hahaha. Try and try lang, sis. Masarap magmahal, masakit kung masakit ang breakups but it's part of our lives, it will make us stronger and wiser in each relationship. At kapag nasaktan, mas masarap pa ulit magmahal!

Good sampling lang talaga to do self-matchmaking.

[aquacharly]

Hindi mo alam kung anong problema sa yo?

1st:  Do not think you are not worthy of True Love.

2nd:  History repeats itself until The Lesson is learned.

3rd:  Always strive to be your Authentic Self. 


So, it's not you, it's your approach/methodology of searching for True Love

[Miss.Pancake]

Sobrang daming beses ko na 'tong sinabi sa sarili ko pero paulit ulit parin akong nagmamahal e. Sayang kasi, maigsi lang ang buhay tapos hindi ka magmamahal?

Don't stop loving kasi who knows, baka by the time you decided to really stop ee yun susunod na guy na pala dapat yun para sayo. 

[Juvilyn5]

Present! Ako ayoko na talaga  before madali ako nakakahanap ng kapalit pero ngayon iwas nako in my case kasi na trauma nako etong last ko physically and emotionally abuse ang na experienced ko nakakatakot na talaga 

[Miss.Pancake]

Present! Ako ayoko na talaga  before madali ako nakakahanap ng kapalit pero ngayon iwas nako in my case kasi na trauma nako etong last ko physically and emotionally abuse ang na experienced ko nakakatakot na talaga 

Sis, pano kung biglang dumating yun guy na magmamahal sayo ng totoo?