Pamamanhikan

[anneshirley]

Thanks j.adore and maukris!

My parents and his parents already had dinner together na naman but that was before he proposed to me. I don't know though what would be covered during pamamanhikan kasi we've already planned everything out.

I'll let my parents na lang work with the program though I'll point out na din how awkward it is for people to be in pamamanhikan when they're not even invited. For me it's very similar kasi to not inviting people who throw you a bachelorette party 

[graZiousa]

Sis aminin natin ang dami ng nagsasabi na hindi na daw uso ang pamamanhikan. Pero sa family namin hindi man uso sa karamihan pero prefer namin na mamanhikan sila hubby samin. Pero hindi naman nangyari yon kasi ang usapan namin since from taga malayo sila hubby para naman hindi awkward na sa araw ng kasalan na sila magkikita kita eh magdinner nalang kami the night before ng wedding day, sad to say hindi nangyari kasi super late na sila MIL dumating sa place namin. I grow up in a community where everybody knows everybody sis, dati nakakaatend father and mother ko sa pamamanhikan, dun napag uusapan ang mga plano. Kung kelan ang kasal, sino sino ang mga ninong at ninang, mga kasama sa entourage and all.. May konting kainan.. pag uusapan din kung saan ttira ang newlywed.. ganun lang kasimple ang alam ko sis, iba for sure lalo na sa mga talagang well off ang family...

[gelitorres]

Hello everyone! I'm new here! In fact, this is my first post. My fiance and I haven't thought of having this pamamanhikan until I read this thread. We didn't come from traditional families but I think it's also a way of showing respect to our elders. Thanks for the inputs!

[bonzaigirl]

hehe, sa amin naman, we had a contemporary pamamanhikan, wherein he just asked for my dad's blessings. Both of us are based overseas, so nung December, it was the first time that both our families would meet. Ang ginawa namin, the first meeting was done in Boracay as a gift na din to our families and para makapagbond din sila. Then  the actual pamamanhikan was done in Tagaytay. That was the time din kasi that my dad will be able to attend.  Nung Boracay trip, dun sya nagpropose sa akin. hehe.  And nung nasa Tagaytay, he just went to talk with my dad na nakaharap yung mum and brother ko and just formally asked my hand in marriage.  Walang nagdala ng mga plato or what. And it was the 2 of us who paid for both sets of families who stayed in Balay Indang.

[simang]

^it's almost the same with us, the contemporary pamamanhikan, lol. we were planning already when he asked permission from my parents. months of planning na, set na ang date, may mga nabook na kami na suppliers, and ilang beses nadelay ang plans namin to tell my parents, kasi everytime na may time kami magsabi, natatameme kami parehas like we don't know how to open the topic up. until one night naglakas loob na lang sya na sabihin sa parents ko while we were watching tv, haha. he literally used the words "hihingin ko na po yung kamay ng anak nyo para sa kasal" which was surprising kasi he's never formal like that with my parents. after that nag usap sila ng tatay ko and tatay said na they have to meet his family in person for the more traditional pamamanhikan, which will be this weekend. in our province it's called bulungan, supposed to be doon pagdedecidan when the wedding is, sino kasama sa entourage, etc etc. but since we're all done with that, it's just a way for our families to bond since first time sila magmimeet in person. fiance's province kasi is around 7 hrs away from ours. sa province namin it's normal na halos lahat ng kamag-anak will be present in the pamamanhikan, so sinabihan na ko ng mom ko na darating yung mga titos and titas namin on both sides.

[barbeecue]

We did a traditional pamamanhikan. I appreciated the effort from both our families. H2b's whole family went to our house (parents, all his siblings, his siblings' wives/husbands and all their kids). They brought food and my family prepared food also. It was their first time to meet kaya everyone put their best foot forward. Nakakakaba! I couldn't believe both our families were in the same room! But it was a very memorable experience and I'm very happy we had one

[juwie]

^same feeling when we had ours! Nakaka kaba, nakaka excite, medyo awkward pa nga but it was one of my happiest moments since I got engaged ☺

[mdnextdoor]

We were less than 6 months away when fiance's family did pamamanhikan. Almost everything about the wedding was already prepared. It was just like a meeting of both families. Fiance's family brought food and we also prepared some. Nakakatawa kasi lahat ng dala nila na food, yun din ang sinerve namin. It wasn't that traditional though where the guy's family should bring all the food and utensils and the dishwasher. Hahaha! It was an exciting experience though that we still practice that kind of tradition.

[cheezums]

We had the traditional pamamanhikan, my mommy insisted na hindi pwedeng wala nun hehe. Since my fiance's parents were from now living in the States, we grabbed the opportnity nung sabay umuwi sila last year sa Pinas. They brought food which my fiance's Dad cooked, our parents seemed to click naman.   Pero di naman pinag-usapan masyado about the wedding, nagkwentuhan lang yung parents namin. Kulit nga eh, kasi kala ko magiging topic would be our wedding 

[simang]

We just had our formal pamamanhikan last weekend.. Fiance's family drove 7 hrs to get to our place, and they stayed the whole weekend. They brought some kakanins and my favorite embotido, and my mom naman cooked lunch. Super full house since all of fiance's siblings and their families came, tapos sa side ko naman, pati mga aunties and uncles ko dumating din to meet everyone.

I'm so proud of fiance kasi he was the one who 'presided' the pamamanhikan hehe. When we were gathered sa living room to talk about the wedding, I asked my dad to open the 'meeting' lol pero sabi nya kami na lang daw since we have plans naman na. So fiance started discussing all our plans, and I'm very happy that he did that. We decided on what traditions are we willing to do pa for the wedding, medyo marami kasing anik anik ang wedding sa province namin.

Nakakatuwa isipin na finally nagmeet na din both families namin. Nagkwentuhan lang kami after lunch and they stayed over for the night tapos mom cooked breakfast for us. Everyone got excited for the wedding weekend, kahit 3 months to go pa kami

[gelitorres]

ang cute sis! we we're not planning on having a formal pamamanhikan pero ang cute din pala ng idea when I'm reading here. Hehe. Tsaka everyone will be a lot comfortable na with each other on the wedding day itself if they can meet before the wedding

[shygirlme]

^oo sis masaya din mamanhikan. Yum samin hindi traditional kumain lang kami sa labas pero start na yun ng bonding. Until now nagkakasama buong family namin mag malling kumain sa labas. Isa na kaming malaking family hehe

[anneshirley]

Hi girls, question lang somewhat related to pamamanhikan: my parents want it done in our province (where they're based now) but my fiance and his family will be coming from Manila. He's an only child and his parents are quite elderly.

Since he's basically the driver and we can't expect the parents to hold onto food items during the long drive, can anyone help suggest what they can bring for pamamanhikan?  My mom will have food prepared but as a sign of courtesy and respect my fiance naman doesn't want him to come empty-handed and a bottle of wine and flowers I think di uubra..?

[simang]

Sorry this is just my opinion, but I find this practice a  bit backward and outdated. Especially since most couples do this AFTER being engaged already. So its just really a meet and greet for the parents, and not really asking for permission anymore. Sometimes it isn't practical also since sometimes one family isn't based in Manila, and have migrated to other countries already. Oh well.......

I kind of have to agree, for us, fiance asked permission first from my parents. After that, my dad requested that they meet his whole family. So basically yung traditional one that we did last weekend was really a meet and greet for the two families. It's more for the parents really. Pero we still are very thankful that it happened, kasi despite the busy schedules everybody made time talaga to be there, even my extended family came.

[anneshirley]

Chili1113 - tell me about it!! My parents and I have had words about this, and they just don’t want to back down. My fiancé went all the way to the province to ask for their blessing before he proposed (and he hasn’t even been there before) plus our own families have already met just months before that. So personally there’s really no sense to meet up if not to just catch up. Even then, my family’s more suited to travel to Manila than his to our place.

But they’re being very unreasonable and no amount of logic would reach out to them. So I just say yes, treat it like any other house party, and hope to God it goes well. But whenever I think of pamamanhikan naiinis talaga ako

[bonzaigirl]

^sis anneshirley at least you're having a good attitude about it:)  We are also not traditional and we had a very contemporary and simple destination pamamanhikan. hehe. There are some traditions and superstitions that honestly, we can do without. hehe. My mum naman and me are having disagreements on various trivial things because she is oh so superstitious hehe and I am so much of a rebel naman 😄😄😄

[Chili1113]

anneshirley: I get what you mean! Hehe Good thing my parents have been really good sports about the whole pamamanhikan thing. Whether they have to fly all the way to the province for my brother's pamamanhikan, or being very understanding why my fiance's pamamanhikan has been super delayed and somewhat neglected hehe. Buti nalang theyre not tampuhin that way.

Im my fiance's case kasi, he has an elderly mom who really doesnt travel anymore and based also in Visayas. In the past ten years shes only come to Manila 2x, and that already includes her coming to Manila for the burial of her husband!

Heheh eh nahiya my fiance and he is insisting to fly his mom to Manila for pamamanhikan. It is my mom herself who was telling my fiance that it isn't necessary so that my future MIL wont get tired and hassled as she is already over 70 years old! Anyway good thing na din that my fiance and my brother's fiance are from the same province!! So my parents will get to meet my future MIL when we go to there this week.

But anyway, as backward and outdated I think this whole hullabaloo is, I still do appreciate the time and effort the families put into it.

[sparklingjewel]

^Excited for you! Haha super untraditional yata namin. My fiance and I have not spoken one word about pamamanhikan. My mom is not expecting it also. My fiance is always at my house anyway so my mom knows him very well. He cooks for her and teaches her to use her gadgets hehe. On like 4 occasions our moms have been together na also--- graduation, my fiance's birthday, to watch a play, and when they  dropped us off to our exchange program. Mga ganun lang! Haha i dont think we're planning anything serious. Although since destination wedding kami, we're probably holding a lunch or dinner together the day before the wedding, and also the day after, with the immediate families present. Maybe yun na yun. Hehe i also find no sense na magpaalam pa since my mom has known him forever and he also asked her permission already after having the ring made. On my end, im super in all of his family affairs anyway so I know everyone, super ok din ako with the family naman

[gelitorres]

^ sis anneshirley, I admire your being respectful to your parents. Buti na lang hindi ganun mag insist ang parents namin (at least as of the moment. hehe).  Parang kapag mangyari sakin yan feeling ko mag aaway ako at parents ko for insisting what we want. hehe

[Chili1113]

sparklingjewel: Thanks!! =) I think I am going to put on a few more pounds this weekend since it will be one luncheon and dinner after another since we will be hosted by 2 families-my fiance's fam, and fam of bro's fiance! LOL

Me too sparklingjewel. After we got engaged, we just said... Yeah let's just have a dinner for your fam and mine whenever your sister and family is in town. LOL...  tee hee I mean I always knew we would have a dinner get together with his family, but I didnt really think it would have to be tagged as literally a "pamamanhikan." But I guess nowadays that's it na... Just a meet and greet for the two families to just sit and chat about wedding details and what not. Hehe =)