should i demand support for my kids?

[kaiz]

hi. i need your comments and advice po. i am married but hubby and i are living separately already. nasa akin our 2 kids. hubby does not give monetary support. now i just found out that his gf is about to give birth. if kayo sa situation ko, ano gagawin nyo? he does not know na i know na about the girl

[LGV]

Sis yes, dapat talaga. Married kayo eh pwede mo pa nga silang idemanda actually. Ngayon kung totally moved on ka na sa husband mo nasasayo yan, if you think you have all the means naman para buhayin ang kids and ayaw mo ng gulo eh di let them be and just dont ask. Pero if hindi mo pa kaya magisa kailangan maremind sya ng responsibility nya. Yun naman talaga ang dapat. Lalo kung kasal kayo. Hindi naman din pwedeng ganun ganun lang yun habang ikaw hirap kang buhayin magisa, at by law dapat naman talaga. So if you have all the extra time talk to a lawyer na. Huwag ka dumerecho sa kanya imo walang mangyayayri pag kayo nagusap jan dapat idaan sa legal na paraan para naman may panghawakan ka.

[kaiz]

^ayoko ng gulo sis, sya pa nanggulo. isip ko unfair for my kids. may pera naman sya gusto nya ako lang lahat.

[LGV]

May mga ganyang lalaki sis, kung ano paman ang rason nya kung bakit sya ganyan it will never be valid kasi anak nya yun hindi ibang tao at paulit ulit eh obligasyon nya yun.

[marose17]

I agree with LGV.  It's best to talk to a lawyer specializing on Family Law so you will know what your options are.

You have the right to claim support for your children.  Even if you can support them on your own now, this may not always be the case. 

[lovemeagain30]

sa atin lang talaga mahina ang child support law. ang daming violators nito.

pansin ko eto sa kultura natin na ang lalaki kapag naghiwalay na sa nanay ng anak mga nila, nakakalimutan ng sumuporta. nagbuhay binata na sila. tapos pag hindi mo pinakita ang mga bata, sila pa ang magagalit.  kesyo ikaw pa ang madamot at may reason pa sila gagamitin sayo, na kailangan ng bata ang ama. hay naku mga walang kwentang ama.

technically dapat habulin mo ang lalaking yan. susme hindi na niya kayang buhayin yung 2 kids, may pangatlo pa siya! prangkahin mo din na alam mo ng buntis yung gf niya at wag niya kamo isipin na iisa lang ang anak niya. kamo pag di ka nagsuporta dedemanda mo pa siya pati yung babae niya.

[kaiz]

^sis ayoko muna ipaalam na alam ko na until fully decided na ako on what to do

[PrincessC]

^ sis, kelangan mo talaga i-bring up yan. regardless of your financial standing, karapatan ng mga anak ninyo na suportahan bago yung anak sa labas kasi sila ang legitimate children.

[Msfi]

I agree with them, you should consult a lawyer. Kahit pa kaya mo at hindi mo kailangan ang support nya, responsibility nya yun. 


At pag nag agree at employed sya, wag kang papayag na sya yung magbibigay sa yo. Dapat deductible agad from his salary, at credited sa bank account mo para di mo na kailangan pang maghintay kung kailan sya magbibigay.

[JINJIN:*]

joske..pag iisipan pa ba yan. Its his responsibility whether me bago na siyang babae or wala. Sis, pag dating ng panahon na malaki na ang anak mu, at wala kang naipon para sa sarili mu, habang ang asawa mu eh nag buhay binata, chaka mu maiisip na lugi ka naman masyado ata.

I've seen scenarios like that here in Dubai, porket mas maraming pera si babae at OFW, ang lalake eh aalisan ng responsibilidad sa pinansyal? So tumanda na yung babae sa kakakayod to provide for her kids ALONE, eh si babae kase mayabang din at ma pride.... kase nga kumikita ng maganda kaya hindi nagdemand ng financial support. After 15 years....she realized wala pala siyang naipon para sa sarili niya dahil lahat ay nasa kids. Whilst the ex husband eh andun sa bago niyang pamilya. SOOOO UNFAIR.

Sis, he will always be the father of your kids kahit hindi ka niya bigyan ng financial support. At ang anak mu eh tatanggapin parin siya bilang ama kahit wala siyang naitulong sa pagpapalaki sa kanila. So dapat simula palang fair and square na.

[lisse]

You are the legal wife, your kids are his rightful "heirs". So, your kids have the right to be supported by their father. It is also not healthy to have the kids grow up na walang "presence" ng father nila, even if sa form man lang ng financial support, gifts, etc. You divorce/separate with your spouses, not with your kids. Hindi porque may new family na siya eh echepwera na ang mga kids niyo.

Now, at this point since hiwalay na talaga kayo, mahirap na talagang bantayan ang finances niya. And mas lalong mahirap i-invoke ang batas jan satin. Pero I would suggest that you consult a lawyer about this. Kahit pa guluhin niya buhay mo, para lang ma-settle mo future ng mga anak mo. You will regret someday na makita/ma-feel or what ng mga anak mo na hindi mo pinaglaban rights nila.

Your kids deserve as much. Kayong mga adults ang may problema sa isa't-isa, sana maayos niyo eto man lang para sa mga bata.

[sugardrop]

It is your children's right to be supported by their father - that's all you should keep in mind when you make your decision.

[chiqmom]

very same situation natin sis. married with 2 kids.

yes, I demanded for child support and I think you should do the same. Never think that this is for you, this is for your kids.

and please do not think na you are helpless with your case because the government is at your back. We have our RA 9262. Its anti violence against women and children. I filed for child support without spending a single penny.

about your husband's new gf, well its another case. good for me my ex never had a love child sa iba but meron siyang naging mga gf when we separated. you can file for concubinage if you want. for my case, i let it pass. bahala siya if he wants to flirt around, i can take that but i could not take the idea na he will have to forgo my kids' needs because of this.

do not think na gulo ang mangyayari. with my case, we were totally furious about each other when i decided to file a child support case. as in for months we never talked tapos itong case agad. i thought series of away na naman pero what i did was to never give him the chance to talk to me. sabi ko if may kelangan ayusin, dun na lang kaso. this siguro made him realize na im serious about my demands. although at first, never sya nagappear. sa huli naayos din namin. may mga demands din siya and we met in the middle. now, we are like friends. and siguro if hindi ako nagdemand, forever ako magagalit sa kanya and he will never grow up.

[aquacharly]

Get a good lawyer to fight for you in getting your children's rightfully & legally due benefits/parental support.

[kaiz]

thank you sisses. yes, will talk a lawyer talaga.

[tamarind26]

As suggested here, find a good lawyer. Di ganyan kadali kumuha ng child support. Umpisahan mo na agad kasi it's a long process. The children should get what is due them even if you can support them.

[jean0415]

same situation tayo sis...ako naman 1 lang anak ko sa kanya.we have different partners now and incoming 4th year na ang daughter ko..madalang pa sa patak ng ulan kung magbigay yung tatay nya. Dumating ako dun sa point na prang i feel sorry for myself and for my daughter dahil para akong nanlilimos sa karapatan nya. Lagi nlang dahilan ng daddy nya kesho hirap sila ( he has 3 kids na with his current partner ) eh lagi nlang ba ako ang iintindi diba? pano nman yung anak ko?  alam nya [textspeak!] na kaya kong buhayin yung anak nya pero that's not the point dba..responsibilidad nya yun. kung ako lang ayoko na padala yung last name nya eh..so etong prom ng daughter ko nagbigay sha ng 1k..nung 16th birthday, nagbigay ng 1k...sa school walang binigay ni singko yan..swerte ka kung magbigay  ng 1k...sbe ng dad ko wag ko tanggapin [textspeak!] kulang pa pambayad sa school service. pero nung nagbigay sha for the prom and for the bday..ibig sabihin part na sha nun? alam nyo yung feeling na kapal ng mukha mo kung magpunta ka sa graduation..parang ganun 

[lovely_carrot]

Yes, you can get affidavit of support that would obligate your ex husband to support your kids.

It also wouldn't hurt to try and have a civil "relationship" with him kahit na separated na kayo, it helps a lot if the parents are not on fighting mode lagi.

I am also a single mom, though I'm not married but my ex gives monthly allowance to my daughter. Actually sinabi ko talaga sa kanya na gawin nya ko allotee para sure ako na makukuha ko yung allowance ng daughter ko. He's not yet married also so i don't know lang how things will change once it happened.

There were a year o two na nagbabangayan kami, medyo hirap makahingi at magdemand kahit na hindi para sa akin kasi pride gets in the way but once we reached that point na we can be friends, super easy na for us.

[kaiz]

^ayoko rin sis makipagbayangan na.  never ako nagdemand ng support but yung ngayon sobrang nakakainsulto kasi sya pa yung nagpopost sa facebook against me eh sya naman may babae tapos nakabuntis pa now

[Girltalker2]

sis kaiz I know what you mean.

For us, kasal kami. Sya nagkaron ng kabit at anak sa labas kaya ako nagfile ng annulment.  Tapos ngayon, emprente sya na bumubuhay sa tatlong anak sa labas (with 2 mistresses).

Ang problema ko I am not based in Manila.  Philippine laws are screwed.  Feeling ko the only things I can gain out of this if ever maghabol ako ay:

1. sakit sa ulo
2. lawyer's bills
3. being intimated at away awayin nya
4. ire of his family kasi ang mga magulang nya sa kanya din naghahabol ng sustento

Para sakin, ayaw ko ng away. Ayaw ko rin makipag bangayan. Kaso ano magagawa mo kung matapang pa yung hayop na nagkasala sayo?  At hindi automatic sa batas natin to redeem your rights at kelangan mo pa palaging bunuin?