Postponed wedding because of different religion.

[lovemeagain30]

This incident didn't happen to me but to my SIL. She and her future hubby were supposed to get married this May in a Catholic ceremony to one of the highest paid Church in the country.

Their engagement happened last year mga November of 2013 after my own engagement with her brother (April 2013). Nung na engage kami ng brother niya and we decided to do the wedding in Philippines by 2014, she immediately disliked the idea and announced that she will be engaged as well this year (2013),, and next year din daw ang kasal nila. Since naniniwala sila sa sukob, sa 2015 nalang daw kami. paunahin daw sila!  Sinabi niya eto sa asawa ko kahit wala pa siyang engagement ring at wala pang proposal from the guy.  ang sabi niya napagplanuhan na daw nilang mag bf (of 5 years), pero secret lang daw nila yun. I admit na hurt talaga ako nun kasi feeling ko sinabotahe niya ang wedding plans namin kahit kami ang naunang na engage. iniyakan ko ng sobra yun.  Though lam ko naman nuon pa she doesn't like me at all for her brother.

Anyway, we decided na itutuloy namin eto because we can’t wait for 2015! even if we have to do it abroad. so in short time, naikasal kami ng maayos with our families blessings. Nagpaalam asawa ko kung pede siya umuwi for the May wedding of her sister. I wont be able to come kasi buntis nako ngayon and I don't think she will miss my presence. Anyway, pumayag parin ako. Forgive and forget with love.. love love! 

So eto na almost katapusan na ng March this year, my MIL called to inform me na hindi na daw matutuloy ang kasal ni SIL sa May. They discovered pala na yung guy is no longer a Catholic and he belongs to a sect called "Dating Daan". Buti nalang daw ang downpayment palang sa Church ang nagagawa. ako naman (in my mind) I asked, really?? I thought everything was already prepared na based as what she said nung pinaurong niya yung kasal namin dapat for this year. Am i hearing that there are no other preparation 2 months before the wedding? 

Namanhikan na ang lalaki twice na daw pero ngayon yata parang nagbabago yung decision niya and wanted to keep his belief instead. Andun daw sa province ngayon para mag isip at ipapakausap daw sa pari. 

My questions to my hubby, why 2 months before the scheduled wedding? Why haven't they thought of it before they even got themselves engaged?

My MIL thanked me when I didn't make any bad comment towards my SIL while she was explaining the situation. Kahit nangangati dila ko magsalita, I just kept quiet.

Ang iniisip ko lang ngayon kung meron ba dito who experienced the same wherein months before the wedding day eh nagback out ang groom and issue ay dahil sa religion?? I know some INC girlfriends who waited for their bf to change their religion before accepting the marriage proposal. Anyone here member of Dating Daan, are they really strict in marrying a non believer?

My MIL said they will postponed the wedding until the guy wants to be converted back to Catholic. I don't know if waiting for the guy to change his mind is a good idea. After all, they are already in their 5 year relationship and should have thought about this already.

If my SIL is okay with me, I would advise her to move on and not wait anymore for this guy to be converted. She was obviously led on to believe na pwede nga niya mabago ang paniniwala ng lalaki. Alam na pala niya dati pa pero sinekreto lang niya sa pamilya about his current beau religious status.

Anyway it’s her life. I don’t think she will appreciate any advice coming from me. So I kept quiet though I was thinking kung siya lang ba naka experience or may iba pa na may naging ganitong kapalaran.

[aquacharly]

May mga ganyan, usually Iglesia ni Cristo, Mormon - sa pag kaalam ko.

But you've done the right thing:  keeping your mouth shut, even when a comment was expected. Yes, best to keep out of family issues/crisis.   That's really the Best Policy, ika nga. 
So maybe, it will be better if you don't fan your curiosity -- baka sa dami ng new info mo eh you will be eager to share -- ma misconstrue pa your info sharing as gloating over her sad situation.
Just saying, but what do I know anyway?

Congratulations! You got married on sched & you will have a baby soon.

[gracita13]

Ganyan din nangyare sa bestfriend ko  May last year nagpropose bf nya then ang wedding this Dec 2014, INC si bf pero nung una sabe sya na daw ang mag give way, magpapa convert na sa catholic tas last month lang yung naipon nilang pangkasal binili ni bf ng coche  so tinanong ko si bestfriend kung bat sila bumili ng coche eh nag iipon nga sila tas sabe nya wala na daw balak pakasal si guy kasi hindi maiwan religion  sinabe ko talaga agad "hay naku iwanan na yan!  pero tama sis yung ginawa mu to keep quiet na lang since sabe mu nga hindi naman kayo ok ni SIL.

Sis, SIL mu same lang din ng bestfriend ko mababago nya pa daw paniniwala ni bf sabe ko "hanggang kailan? tumatanda ka na" (pero 28yrs old pa lang sya  ) ang aken lang kung wala namang mag gigiveway sa inyong 2 walang mangyayare so bat pa patatagalin? sayang lang ang panahon, pero sis wala akong issue sa guy ha gusto ko sya para sa bestfriend ko.

Magkaibang religion din kame ni hubby, ako na ang nag giveway sa catholic ikasal pinayagan kasi ako ng pastor namen.Mixed marriage ang tawag.Idk lang kung pwede yan sa Dating Daan.

Keep safe sis!

[lovemeagain30]

Thanks mga sis sa kwento ninyo. Actually nung pinost ko eto nuon ang nasa isip ko eh.. na KARMA si SIL. Bad ko noh?  I just have to feel it lang at that moment. hindi kasi ako nagsalita sa MIL ko at dun kay hubby ko naman may mga tanong ako pero siyempre hindi rin ako nagsalita ng iba pa kasi nga kapatid pa rin niya yun, at baka ma hurt lang siya pag nagbunganga ako. hehe.

however kung sister or sa close friends ko nangyari yun, I probably have said something.  ngayon ko na nga mas nauunawaan si mother ko kung bakit panay tanong niya samin ng mga sisters nung araw whenever we date someone kung katoliko ba sila? I was like what's wrong kung hindi?  siguro nga to avoid having this kind of scenarios.

[shadow_man]

This is our problem din, well not as hard to reconcile with your story kasi talagang kung baga enemy kung ituring ng ADD at INC and Catholic Church, but in my case yung gf ko Born Again, so at first I thought madali lang, it turns out na, for most Born Again pala they dont consider the Catholics (though we are the first to spread Christianity and defend the divinity of Christ) pala as Christians. at first I proposed cross marriage but then I could see the hesitation, kino consider nya yung family nya na actually di daw sila ganun ka open sa Catholic wedding baka daw di pa mag attend iba, so I get annoyed kaya naging rigid na din ako. Iniinsist ko n ngayon Catholic ceremony must take precedence.

Well and good I have a Jesuit friend who always celebrates marriage between couples wherein the other one is not a Catholic, so now he offered to marry us in Hongkong, he will officiate, he even offered to pay our transportation, and meron daw silang special facility for such. we both agreed, then maybe later civil na lang dito sa Phil for the legality. but for now wala pa kaming specific date, yung priest kasi nasa Vatican pa ngayon and passpot ko is about to expire.

[gj1206]

shadow_man As a Born Again who grew up in the Philippines and now living abroad, I've known other Catholics here na medyo different from the Catholics over there. I find Catholicism in the Philippines is a bit too concerned with religious legalities, but I don't think of them as non-Christians. Anyway, I'm not going to debate this with you, just wanted to suggest na why don't you and your fiancée have a good conversation as to why she thinks that way. It's not just trying to get the wedding to go through, but siyempre in the future when you have kids, that's another point of contention.

If I have to go Bible quoting, it does say not to tie yourselves to an unbeliever. I cannot say much more than that, dahil this one is a struggle that I am having myself, although it's a bit easier because the fiancé, although adamant not to be converted, does not mind doing things my way.