Dilemmas of newly weds: What's yours?

[i_am_zayda]

I got married December 2013 and so far life is good for both of us. Of course we cannot avoid small issues between us but we talk about it before we go to sleep. What irk me are the people around us. Well particularly the people around ME. At the office, they always ask: "ano wala pa bang laman yan?" or "wala pa ba kayong balak magka-baby?" or "any good news?" anything that pertains if I am already pregnant.

Nakaka-pressure! I never imagined that I will be put on that situation. I never imagined the pressure it gives to a woman. Syempre sino ba ang ayaw mag-kababy?  the reason why nagpakasal nga kayo ng partner mo is to start a family... Para kasing for me, mas lalo ako hindi magkaka-baby sa kakatanong nila eh...

That's my issue, what's yours?

[bellamom_22]

we got married september 2013 and we're halfway to our 1st anniversary. my issue is that i'm pregnant when we got married and sometimes when things are rough and my husband shuts down on me or gives me the cold shoulder, it makes me think that he only married me because of our child. though he tells me everyday that he loves me, i still have this doubt. he is sometimes immature and would snap at me in my small faults. he also doesn't seem to forget our past problems and he still brings up issues about my ex-boyfriend.

[LGV]

Sis i_am_zayda magkasama din tayo sa December 2013 bride na thread

Alam mo tama ka ang weird nga eh, ngayon pa ako natakot eh may isa na akong love child before I got married. She's now 8 yrs old pero nagtataka din ako kasi ang bilis ko nabuntis noon, unwanted talaga kasi nagaaral pa ako that time and my ex bf nagaaral din but anyway naicompare ko lang kasi ngayon after 3 months of marriage di parin kame nakakabuo. I know naman na darating yung time na yun baka impatience lang ako. Pero akala ko talaga as in after lang ng wedding mabubuntis ako kaagad kasi nga base on experience just right after ako madivirginize eh nabuntis na ako. Pressured din ako kasi buong side ni hubby waiting talaga as well as parents ko din at tama ka nga pati people around paulit ulit sila kaya parang nauudlot. Nafrustrate ako lalo nung delayed ako for a week then wala. Ang hirap nga pero nagpapakaconfident na lang ako na malapit na malapit na and if in case wala din ako plan ibroadcast muna para magulat na lang sila.

Sis bellamom_22 if I may ask ilan taon na ba kayo ng hubby mo? And yung edad nyo din, baka nasa stage pa na hindi ready kaya ganon? It doesnt mean na napilitan lang sya sayo baka nga lang hindi ready pa.

[gracita13]

I have the same issue as you TS, mag 1 year na kame this coming May, kulang na lang magsabit ako ng board sa noo stating "hindi pa ako buntis, nagmamadali ka ba?"
Nakakainis lang andun na ko siguro para lang may masabe sila saken pag nagkikita kame pero hello hindi nyo ako kailangan tanungin kung meron na dahil the moment na mag 2nd line ang pt ko nakapost agad yan sa fb ko!

[imbisibol_]

"yes, we're trying to conceive.  thanks for asking". 

[whitelady17]

We got married Oct 2012, 29 years old na ako niyan.. But I told my hubby na sana huwag kami magmadali magka baby kasi we should enjoy each other muna. Since active kami pareho sa running ayos lang sa kaniya. Same as other people's issues lalo na sa side nila, kept asking me kung wala pa ba..Dalawa ang sagot ko jan, paitan kumbaga, either, wala pa po marami pa po akong gustong takbuhin, or wala naman po, hindi kami nagmamadali, kayo nagmamadali po ba kayo? Eventually tumigil na rin sila. Kilala naman nila ako na hard headed haha

Lalo na this year, negative ulit, kasi may tinatarget kaming mag-asawa na gusto naming ma achieve. Sinabi ko kasi sa kaniya before na kung magmadali siya mag baby kami, baka awayin ko siya araw-araw sa mga bagay na hindi ko nagawa dahil may baby, yet once na meron na, will stop for a year sa running para makapag concentrate ako sa baby.

And so far, tama ang desisyon namin, once of our friend, mas nauna kinasal, merong anak now eh having a financial issues, plus sumbat pa from MIL re sa expenses nila noong kasal nila..(OT na yata)

[i_am_zayda]

hi sis LGV! nice to see you here. 3 months na nakalipas...
how's married life?

nakakapagod talaga ang sumagot ng sumagot sa mga tanong kung buntis na ba ako...

natawa naman ako sis gracita13 sa gusto mo isagot sa mga nagtatanong sau... matry nga...

[LGV]

His sis tingin ko okay naman haha! Im sure you feel the same way, syempre masaya minsan lang nakakamiss din family ko though we talk and see each other parin naman as frequent as possible. Financially, okay lang hindi gipit, hindi din naman sobra sobra, wrong move lang siguro na magkakasabay yung investment, tuition, konting travel na hindi pa namin maiwasan siguro kasi bago pa and mahilig kasi kame kumain anytime maisipan. Pero so far so good naman. Yun na nga, waiting for baby nalang sana. Baby dust for us!!!

[sistah!]

ive been married for 4 years and we spent the first 2 years childless. by choice din kasi I always said I didn't think I'd be the motherly type. Like you, I always get mga comments like that after we got married. News flash lang dear, pag nagkaanak na kayo, those comments will not go away. now, I have to deal with the "kelan nyo susundan?" type of questions. ganyan talaga yata sa pilipinas. people seem to think that marriage is only for those who want kids.

I still think we're newlyweds even now so I don't really have any big, powerful advice. I can only recommend that you and your husband be on the same page. before we got married, I had to give my husband an "out" so I told him that children may never be on the table for me. he chose to marry me anyway. obviously that has changed for me  because we now have a daughter. we are now on the same page that we are not going to have another one anytime soon. in many ways, that has been the only thing that has kept me sane when people always bring up the topic of children.

[eternalpink]

I guess it's really in our culture. Even before we got married (9 years kame as bf/gf), people were always asking kelan na daw kame magpapakasal. After we got married (Nov 2013), ayan na ang questions on kelan kayo magkaka-baby? Maslalo pa siguro dahil it's the first marriage for both sides of the family. Ang hirap din mag explain kase sasabihin ko na hindi pa muna kase I'm taking medicines pa (I have PCOS).

One other dilemma is trying to balance the right amount of time and attention to hubby and my family (or praning lang ako? hehe). Minsan kase naiisip ko baka nakakalimutan nako ng pamilya ko haha exag, I know, pero nandun din yung gusto ko kame lang ni hubby magkasama palagi lalo pa siguro now na wala pa kameng 5 months kasal. Or nagui-guilty lang din ako kase minsan naman ayoko umuwi sa'min, gusto ko lang mag bonding kame ni hubby.

[bellamom_22]

Sis bellamom_22 if I may ask ilan taon na ba kayo ng hubby mo? And yung edad nyo din, baka nasa stage pa na hindi ready kaya ganon? It doesnt mean na napilitan lang sya sayo baka nga lang hindi ready pa.

hi sis LGV, 24 po kami pareho pero older ako sa kanya ng ilang months. april ako, august siya. hhmmmm siguro nga po, nahihirapan lang ako kasi un nga, minsan immature siya tapos madalas pa kami magkatampuhan.

[outandaboutph]

Naging issue narin sa amin ang pagbubuntis noon, kasi more than 2 years pa before ako nag conceived. Ang pressure galing sa family ni hubby and sa office narin. Marami ako narinig before, kesyo wala akong matris, or mahinang klase si hubby, or hindi na ako bata baka hindi na makabuo if patatagalin pa. They say wala naman problem kasi both working kami ni hubby  doon lang ako natawa sa mga relatives niya kasi 2 years na walang work si hubby parang imposible lang na di nila alam. Di na lang ako umiimik kasi ayoko siya maoffend kasi sa akin naman walang kaso talaga iyon.

Ang problem ko that time, super stressed ako sa mga kasama ko sa house. I came to a point na isipin ko pa lang na uuwi na ako and makikita ko sila, gusto ko na iuntog ulo ko sa pader. Buti na lang last year, umalis na iyong iba and gumaan kaunti ang bigat sa dibdib ko and finally, nabuntis narin. Ang masaklap niyan, bumalik na sila last month.