Irresponsible Brother

[simang]

^uy sobra naman yung kinidnap and all. Parang wala na sa sarili mo yung kuya mo and sil ifever they made that up. Sobrang wtf -_-

[sarah29]

^ Oo nga, eh. Natawa ako sa sobrang inis. Tamang tama kakatapos lang din ng Vhong Navarro incident nung sinabi nila yan. At sabi pa "hinaharap nya po ang pinaka-madalim na parte ng buhay nya. Binaboy po sya. Kailangan nya po ng tulong."  Ginaganyan nya lagi mama ko, buti this time hinde naniwala. Pero may parte pa sa nanay ko na naniniwala pa talaga. Pero buti at hinde nya ininda.

[simang]

^sobra namang pagsisinungaling yun.

[sugardrop]

Wala akong kapatid pero sobra naman rudeness nya sa mom mo. After so many years na pinapadalahan sya, nasabihan pang walang kwentang ina at walang paki sa anak. Yung sil mo naman, nakakaloka. Napakamiraculous naman at hindi pumutok yung 2 rounds. At natutulog sa kalsada at foodcourt? Bakit kaya hindi nila subukang magbanat ng buto instead of gawing hobby ang baby making?! Nakakairita na nakakatawa. Pero hindi ako natatawa sa sinabi sa mom nyo. Hindi ako nananampal pero kung kapatid ko yan eh baka nasampal ko na kahit virtual man lang.

[Ma.Jewel_1987]

Haha sobra akong natawa dun sa kwento mo sis, lakas makateleserye, pero baka nga sa sobrang gutom naghahallucinate na sila?

[simang]

Tsaka i dont think sleeping sa food court is allowed, unless mall hours sya natutulog doon hahaha

He doesnt have a job right?

[castledoll]

sarah29, are you done with your wedding? how's your papa after his stroke?

If not yet, there's a part of me na gusto sabihin sayo to invite your kuya. and there's a part of me na gusto sabihin, wag na at baka magwala pa siya, masira lang yung araw mo.

Panganay ako and gustong gusto ko talaga magkaroon ng kuya dati. pero whenever I hear/read stories like yours, to my dismay, not all kuyas are sweet, responsible, and protective pala.

You know what your brother needs? Psychological help. It may come off as a taboo, but let's face it, he's NOT acting NORMAL. Walang magulang ang makakatiis sa anak nila. At wala karapatan ang isa sa amin dito to tell you and your parents what you/they should've done. Siguro kaya na "spoil" ng parents mo ang kuya mo was because they were compensating dahil yung kuya mo was left in the Philippines. Your kuya should learn how to stand on his own. It's not gonna be forever that you'll have your parents around. Paano kung dumating na yung panahon na yun and you already have your own family? paano na lalo ang kuya mo nun? Mas maganda na tiisin nyo na lang na huwag padalhan ang kuya mo. They'll find ways to survive. Nasanay lang kasi siya na may taga salo/ taga linis ng kalat nya e kaya he was never responsible.

Good luck with your kuya and sana may hope pa for him.

[sarah29]

sugardrop - Oo nga, eh. Galit na galit talaga kame nung nakita namen message nya. Bastos talaga. Mild pa yun kumapara sa mga nasabi nya pang iba sa mama ko. At yun nga, may mga ganun pa syang nalalaman. May mauuiwan naman sya Bulacan kung gusto nya talaga mag start over. Ba't hinde sya mag benta ng fishball, pedicab o mag janitor. Kahit ano diba para sa anak nya. Tamad kase ang mayabang.

Ma.Jewel - I know sis. OA lang. Sana sa susunod kung gagawa sila ng story yung kapani-paniwala. 

simang - Wala. Nagkakaron sya ng work pero never syang tumagal ng 5 months sa trabaho. Less pa nga ata.

castledoll - My dad is doing good, thank you. My wedding is in three weeks. Honestly ayaw ko nalang sya imbitihin at ayaw ko sila i-meet ng SIL ko. Feeling ko magiiskandalo lang sya sa kasal ko, and ayaw ko na din na may worries during my wedding. Baka kung ano pa sabihin saken pag nagkita kame, iwas nalang din ako sa gulo.

Oo nga sis, naisip ko din yan. Pero kahit anong pyscho help ibigay sa kanya, if he doesn't want it, wala din magagawa. I think drug addict sya sis. Kaya din gagawin nya lahat para makakuha ng pera. He was spoiled talaga baby palang sya. Wala kase sya dad. So until he was about 5 years old, kasama nya mga grandparents nya with my mom, who spoiled him. Tas when my mom met my dad, syempre yung papa ko gusto nya makuha heart ng kuya ko.. akala nila pag binigay ang gusto, eh mas makakabuti. Turns out, it did him more harm than good. Buti ngayon tiniis na ng mama ko sila. Dati kase nagpapadala dahil naawa sa mga babies nya. Ngayon ignore na sya ng mama ko. Ilan beses na sya nakulong, at kung ano ano pa at laging nibbail. I think he really needs to hit rock bottom.. until then I don't think mababago sya.

[Girltalker2]

^ Sorry sis to hear about your brother. Sa stories mo, baka your brother is better off in prison nalang, next time mangyari iyon, huwag na sya i-bail out. That way, he can do less damage. Ang nakakatakot pa kasi kung drug addict, ang mga nav-victimize nyang mga iyan ay yung mga immediate relatives.  Sometimes they even go to the extent of killing their own relatives or harming them just to get money for drugs.   

Tsaka ok lang din niblock ka nya sa FB. Iblock mo narin ang wife nya ng todo todo.  At least nasa 20s palang ang bro mo. He has time to recover. Ang hirap nyan kung umabot sya ng 50yo at ganyan parin.  Di mo alam kung san mo na sya dapat ilibing.

[sarah29]

^ Oo nga sis, eh. Masama man pakinggan, pero may part saken naiisip na sana makulong nalang sya. Baka pag narasan nya talaga yung makulong talaga, eh baka tumino. Iyak yan ng iyak pag asa kulungan.. ayun bail agad. Pati wife nya nuon, buntis, nilalakad pa yung presinto na pagkalayo-layo at naghahanap ng mauutangan para mabail sya. It's really sad na ganun sya.

Yeah, mas okay na talaga na blocked na sila. Lagi sila nagmemessage sa fb para humingi ng pera at kung ano anong drama. At least ngayon, tahimik na.

[castledoll]

castledoll - My dad is doing good, thank you. My wedding is in three weeks. Honestly ayaw ko nalang sya imbitihin at ayaw ko sila i-meet ng SIL ko. Feeling ko magiiskandalo lang sya sa kasal ko, and ayaw ko na din na may worries during my wedding. Baka kung ano pa sabihin saken pag nagkita kame, iwas nalang din ako sa gulo.

Oo nga sis, naisip ko din yan. Pero kahit anong pyscho help ibigay sa kanya, if he doesn't want it, wala din magagawa. I think drug addict sya sis. Kaya din gagawin nya lahat para makakuha ng pera. He was spoiled talaga baby palang sya. Wala kase sya dad. So until he was about 5 years old, kasama nya mga grandparents nya with my mom, who spoiled him. Tas when my mom met my dad, syempre yung papa ko gusto nya makuha heart ng kuya ko.. akala nila pag binigay ang gusto, eh mas makakabuti. Turns out, it did him more harm than good. Buti ngayon tiniis na ng mama ko sila. Dati kase nagpapadala dahil naawa sa mga babies nya. Ngayon ignore na sya ng mama ko. Ilan beses na sya nakulong, at kung ano ano pa at laging nibbail. I think he really needs to hit rock bottom.. until then I don't think mababago sya.

with your brother's state of mind, baka isa sa mga isusumbat nya yung hinde mo siya invite sa kasal. since based on your kwento, it's safe to assume that he's your half brother?  baka kasi ma feel/ isipin nya na with your decision not to invite him and his family on your wedding, that he's an outsider. he doesn't have a place in your family. I am not saying this to bother your peace of mind but rather think of it as a possible scenario. pero, on the other hand, it's your wedding. ang family members ang hinde dapat makadagdag ng stress sayo. if you think him not going to your wedding would be for the best, you can deal with his immaturity na lang later on. all those years that you put his welfare first but he betrayed and hurt you, it's not selfish for you to decide what you think will be best.

you're right. if he doesn't want help and can't accept the fact that he needs help, he'll just remain miserable. kung wala makain yung pamilya nya, it was his sperm, his responsibility. our culture is very clanish, which is maganda and nakaka admire. but also remember that whenever you're in doubt, may hangganan ang pag tulong. if he's abusing the attention, love, and care, well, sorry siya.

[Girltalker2]

^ Oo nga, eh. Natawa ako sa sobrang inis. Tamang tama kakatapos lang din ng Vhong Navarro incident nung sinabi nila yan. At sabi pa "hinaharap nya po ang pinaka-madalim na parte ng buhay nya. Binaboy po sya. Kailangan nya po ng tulong."  Ginaganyan nya lagi mama ko, buti this time hinde naniwala. Pero may parte pa sa nanay ko na naniniwala pa talaga. Pero buti at hinde nya ininda.

Sobrang classic na ito.  Iyan ang gawain din ng wife ng brother ni BF. Tatawagan mom ni BF (not in Pinas) kesyo nakulong daw, need money.  One time, bibisitahin daw ang nanay but he needs money to process his passport, pero never naman natuloy.  Ang daming drama sa buhay pero laging kelangan ng pera ang linya. 

[Lute]

i know he's not in the right place to do things like that.

he's your brother.

don't burn bridges. but next time konti lang ipadala mo. a small amount to show that you still care, but not big enough for them to be dependent on you.

iba talaga ang dating ng balikbayan box na yan. people always misinterpret it - lagi na lang nagiging symbol na may pera ka at kaya mo magpadala.

actually yan ang pintas ng ibang tao sa mga Pilipino. nothing wrong in showing your love. basta don't make them dependent. if you like dont send in a year or 2 muna before sending something small.

or send to your kamag anak instead of him, para sila ang mag distribute. for sure magegets niya yun.

[castledoll]

^ I forgot which show nasabi yun e pero it was years ago and ang tanong, hanggang kailan mo tutulungan ang pamilya/ kamag-anak mo?

Sadly, some of them become dependent. kala nila umuutot ng dolyares ang mga asa abroad. kapag hinde ka naman nagbigay, meron at meron pa masasabi.

[simang]

^true. I guess nasa culture na din nating mga Pinoy yun, the harsh truth of close family ties.

It's hard to teach these dependent people a lesson kase they would think selfishly -- na tinitiis sila instead of helping them be independent.

Sad, pero ganun talaga sila kaselfish. I agree, wag mo na sya invite sa kasal mo sarah29. With his mentality it's not impossible he'll make a scene.

[Lute]

^ I forgot which show nasabi yun e pero it was years ago and ang tanong, hanggang kailan mo tutulungan ang pamilya/ kamag-anak mo?

Sadly, some of them become dependent. kala nila umuutot ng dolyares ang mga asa abroad. kapag hinde ka naman nagbigay, meron at meron pa masasabi.

nako sis kaka iba talaga. lalo na side namin, may mga clan business kami. even the long term employees expect more from you kasi you're in another country. minsan kahit wala kaming kinalaman sa negosyo. bottom line, sky's the limit sa pag extrapolate.

hindi din naman din kasi nila naiisip. minsan ang pinapadala galing ibang bansa, i've seen this with some people, ay yung mga on sale items sa ibang bansa, yung mga ilang buwan na lang mag eexpire na. lalo na't noong araw, hindi pa uso ang ukay ukay sa pinas, kala nila mga damit at sapatos eh binili sa US pero ukay ukay lang doon.

anyway, my side is to not totally cut off your brother. hayaan mo muna siya

[lynn wolf]

I have this issue din, for me hindi lang issue ng irresponsible guy, issue din paano sya pinalaki. Dapat yun kinakikitaan na ng pagka irresponsable, bitawan na agad, kaso hindi ito nangyayari kasi will always try baka magbago... kayo mga babae, darating ang panahon magkaka anak kayo ng lalake, ang issue napaka konti sa inyo na gagawa ng paraan (in hard way) para matuto ang anak na lalake nyo. to the point give up na kayo at para less problem binibigay na lang ang gusto.

As for the issue ng author.

Question yourself not your brother, ready kana bang baliwalain ang brother mo?
If yes, all connection nyo patayin muna. para hindi kana stress at to the point gumawa na sya ng paraan sa buhay nya. nakatulong kapa...
If no, go like mother like daughter lang ang mangyayari.

my advice naman syo... go with your life, minsan ganun talaga hindi maayos pero darating ang panahon aayos din yan. wag muna stress buhay mo sa buhay ng iba.

[babyboo.0326]

tagal ko na hindi nakabisita dito ah..

i think yung mga issues natin with our siblings, part of it is because of our parents (mom or dad or both) kasi nga hindi nila matiis ang anak nila. and then, since hindi matiis, tutulungan. but what we, yes, including us, don't really see is that we are not really helping them pala. kasi nasasanay na sila to depend on us.

buti nga kayo malayo sa inyo mga kapatid niyo. e ako, kasama ko pa sa bahay. pag ayaw ng trabaho, aalis. tapos tatambay. siyempre since panganay ka, your parents/parent would depend on you lalo na if wala rin work ang magulang mo. 

[molybdenumstudios]

Sis sarah29, I suggest you cut your connections with your brother for now. This type of halting communications with an acquaintance may be a form of "burning bridges," but this is the best way to teach him a lesson. This doesn't exactly apply to relatives only, but it also applies to your other acquaintances in school, work, et cetera.

While backreading, I have noticed that your kuya is actually being "makulit" to the extent that he won't stop until he gets what he wants. There are some people really who reject favors from people who ask them (indirectly through excuses), but when they're the ones who are asking for favors, they really won't stop until you grant it to them. You have to teach him a lesson before he gets wrecked up.

That's it for now. (:

[gwyne21]

tagal ko na hindi nakabisita dito ah..

i think yung mga issues natin with our siblings, part of it is because of our parents (mom or dad or both) kasi nga hindi nila matiis ang anak nila. and then, since hindi matiis, tutulungan. but what we, yes, including us, don't really see is that we are not really helping them pala. kasi nasasanay na sila to depend on us.

I agree with this one. May issue rin ako sa younger brother ko (middle one) but okay naman kami ng youngest. Minsan talaga nagiging ganoon (irresponsible sibling) dahil di matiis ng parent at i-ne-enable na patuloy na maging gannon sila.