Should I be worried? Need as much comments/advice/reaction

[ymgsiri]

I'm recently married to the man I've always loved. As every relationship (married or unmarried) there is always this little thing that makes each women JEALOUS. (Btw I'm a jealous type but since I got in this relationship (LDR->Married) I could proudly say I've been undestanding as possibly as I can.. )

I accidentally found a forum which my man is currently a member, I saw him giving comments to celebrity girls photos. That doesnt really bothers me. What made me cold to him was this comment that made him so excited (celebrity woman that is strips her clothes) now I dont wanna have sex with my husband because that felt disrespectful and it felt like he's bored to me or something, I know men are visual but maybe if he made that comment while watching w/ me I wouldnt feel this bad and now it really really hurts. It's like committing an adultery in myheart..

Ladies how would you feel if this happen and what would you do? I just need your reactions in this.. Thank you

[amethyst028]

Kung sakin yun ginawa magagalit din ako if i found out at nabasa ko mga comments. Siyempre nakaka insulto yun. Respeto naman niya sakin.

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Pag hindi niya na inulit forgive and forget. Pero pag ginawa niya ulit magalit ka na.

Sakin ok lang tumingin siya wag na siya mag comment pa. Ang maniac kasi ng dating.

[aquacharly]

Ano yan --  you SPIED ON  what he was up to?  Hindi nya share with you his activities in that forum, di ba?

Well,  your husband, like you --  has PRIVATE thoughts.  That is human nature -- we each have private/personal thoughts, and some are not meant to be shared --  ganon talaga.  Let's be real.

Like,
I used to find Johnny Depp hot/yummy. (Now, I find him grubby, ugh -- si Leo di Caprio  naman hot, lol)
I  sure had thoughts about him, whenever I would see his photos. Hindi naman XXX, but along the lines: "hmmm, he looks hot, nice to hug .. Pag nadaanan ko yan, pa photo ako hugging him." ... Hahaha
It's not like I got obsessed with him & I acted  on my interest as in stalk him, etc.  Basta  lang  pag nakita ko lang -- aha! Hahaha

I am certain my husband, when he sees photos or actually sees desirable women -- may private thoughts din yan best not shared with me.  Tapos, tapos na -- he doesn't act on these.  Pinag-uusapan? Sure, but he would not tell me to my face  na he got aroused on seeing this or that. He wouldn't, IMO. Delicadeza na lang.

That's Reality --  some thoughts just pop up, and we keep these private para hindi makasakit di ba.
That's Adultery? I don't think so.
How can you control your spouse's thoughts or control him to think (and act) as you do & think?
Adultery yan if he acts on it -- as in, he texts/contacts/pursues sino man yang he finds sexy.
Yang ma turn on sya sa ano man nakita nya -- that's just private human nature.
Pero kung yang na turn on sya sa nakita nya kasi dinala nya sarili nya don saan man yan para ma turn-on sya: yan malamang Adultery.   But not necessarily, depends on the circumstances kasi.

A woman can not be Everything to a man. There will always be someone prettier, younger, sexier, etc etc etc.  What is important is that he knows his Best Life is with you. 
Guys always have their d1cks responding to this or that.  But for most, their head above catches up with the head below to apply the brakes when Reality kicks in. 
Don't take his responses to sexy stuff personally. Sabi nga, I quote:  "God gave men 2 heads, but only enough blood supply to make 1 work at a time." Hahaha

PS:  everyone needs some privacy.  So, moderate your snooping around.  I don't mean to offend -- I try to do that too: moderate my curiosity. Sometimes. Ignorance is bliss.  Do not complicate your life more.

[simang]

Honestly i dont see anything wrong, yes aquacharly's right, it's all private thoughts put out there. Whether you saw it or not, he still thought about it. Naoffend ka lang kase nakita mo. Pero nakita mo man or hindi, it's still real. Naisip nya pa din yun.

[ymgsiri]

Honestly i dont see anything wrong, yes aquacharly's right, it's all private thoughts put out there. Whether you saw it or not, he still thought about it. Naoffend ka lang kase nakita mo. Pero nakita mo man or hindi, it's still real. Naisip nya pa din yun.

Ano yan --  you SPIED ON  what he was up to?  Hindi nya share with you his activities in that forum, di ba?

Well,  your husband, like you --  has PRIVATE thoughts.  That is human nature -- we each have private/personal thoughts, and some are not meant to be shared --  ganon talaga.  Let's be real.

Like,
I used to find Johnny Depp hot/yummy. (Now, I find him grubby, ugh -- si Leo di Caprio  naman hot, lol)
I  sure had thoughts about him, whenever I would see his photos. Hindi naman XXX, but along the lines: "hmmm, he looks hot, nice to hug .. Pag nadaanan ko yan, pa photo ako hugging him." ... Hahaha
It's not like I got obsessed with him & I acted  on my interest as in stalk him, etc.  Basta  lang  pag nakita ko lang -- aha! Hahaha

I am certain my husband, when he sees photos or actually sees desirable women -- may private thoughts din yan best not shared with me.  Tapos, tapos na -- he doesn't act on these.  Pinag-uusapan? Sure, but he would not tell me to my face  na he got aroused on seeing this or that. He wouldn't, IMO. Delicadeza na lang.

That's Reality --  some thoughts just pop up, and we keep these private para hindi makasakit di ba.
That's Adultery? I don't think so.
How can you control your spouse's thoughts or control him to think (and act) as you do & think?
Adultery yan if he acts on it -- as in, he texts/contacts/pursues sino man yang he finds sexy.
Yang ma turn on sya sa ano man nakita nya -- that's just private human nature.
Pero kung yang na turn on sya sa nakita nya kasi dinala nya sarili nya don saan man yan para ma turn-on sya: yan malamang Adultery.   But not necessarily, depends on the circumstances kasi.

A woman can not be Everything to a man. There will always be someone prettier, younger, sexier, etc etc etc.  What is important is that he knows his Best Life is with you. 
Guys always have their d1cks responding to this or that.  But for most, their head above catches up with the head below to apply the brakes when Reality kicks in. 
Don't take his responses to sexy stuff personally. Sabi nga, I quote:  "God gave men 2 heads, but only enough blood supply to make 1 work at a time." Hahaha

PS:  everyone needs some privacy.  So, moderate your snooping around.  I don't mean to offend -- I try to do that too: moderate my curiosity. Sometimes. Ignorance is bliss.  Do not complicate your life more.

Sana di ko nalang nakita. Wala naman kame problem pag dating sa naked women/men. It's just this time at nagulat ako, kung kailan mag kasama na kme... Now I dont wanna have sex with him. Ano gagawin ko? Ayoko naman sabihin sabihin niya nag wander ako sa mga gnagawa niya.. And shempre yung forum na yun di niya talaga na share sakin...

[sugardrop]

Sometimes, better leave the unknown unknown. Snooping around sometimes do more harm than good. Lalake yan eh. Di mo maiaalis that he would have such thoughts. You should be worried if he puts those thoughts into action.

[princessrio]

i will not do anything. i'd be more worried if that was put into action or if yung girl sa picture is someone i/we know or kung yan ay iniimagine nya pag nagmemake love kami. yun ang nakakabastos para sa akin.

pero kung nagcomment sya ng ganyan at sa celebrity pa, it's not a big deal for me. ako minsan nagcocomment din ng yummy si vin diesel e or oh so sexy naman ni adam levine.

parang it's too harsh to say that it's adultery.

[aquacharly]

Sana di ko nalang nakita. Wala naman kame problem pag dating sa naked women/men. It's just this time at nagulat ako, kung kailan mag kasama na kme... Now I dont wanna have sex with him. Ano gagawin ko? Ayoko naman sabihin sabihin niya nag wander ako sa mga gnagawa niya.. And shempre yung forum na yun di niya talaga na share sakin...

"SANA" is not an option,  done, history. 

Ano gagawin mo?  Darling, you're a Big Girl now, tapos ka na sa fairy tales of happy-ever-after perfection.  Get into the Real world.
Sometimes, Reality sucks -- you just gotta suck it up.

"SASABIHIN" mo you were snooping on him?! You gotta be kidding.  Let's get real:  you were snooping as in spying, it's not like you "wandered" or came across it.  Sabi mo nga he didn't share this forum with you.
So, IMO, if you do slap that comment of his at his face -- --  you will be digging yourself into a hole. 

[ymgsiri]

"SANA" is not an option,  done, history. 

Ano gagawin mo?  Darling, you're a Big Girl now, tapos ka na sa fairy tales of happy-ever-after perfection.  Get into the Real world.
Sometimes, Reality sucks -- you just gotta suck it up.

"SASABIHIN" mo you were snooping on him?! You gotta be kidding.  Let's get real:  you were snooping as in spying, it's not like you "wandered" or came across it.  Sabi mo nga he didn't share this forum with you.
So, IMO, if you do slap that comment of his at his face -- --  you will be digging yourself into a hole. 

I just did last saturday. I've been a mess the whole week, kitang kita naman niya na nalulungkot ako lalo na at hohomesick ako, so I told him coz I cant contain it by myself and he insist on knowing, nung okay na kame tinanong ko siya ulit (this time I was kinda smiling) at shempre ayaw umamin pero alam nanamin dalawang siya yun and he really look embarrased, anyway Thanks everyone! Na let go ko na [textspeak!] issue. (For everyone's information I still find what he did disrespectful, people have different opinions. I'm sorry I sounded like living in a happily ever. All your comments are appreciated makes me feel like I should start getting into my social life again, thats if he allows me to, specially when all my friends are guys)

[bluegintonic]

Mrs TS, you're his wife.You're a woman.You're the one gong to bed with him every night.Bakit ka magseselos sa celebrity?

Think of it like shopping-you went to a shop,and may nagustuhan ka pero di kaya ng budget.Ganun lang yun for him, parang nag window shopping.At the end of teh day, ikaw ang ka-date,ikaw ang pinakasalan,ikaw ang asawa.

Kung lahat didibdibin mo, malayong magsama kayo ng matagal.Don't take everything he does seriously nor offensive.Baka naman may issues ka lang emotionally  OTHER than his comments on that celebrity.Mga artista yun so gagawin lahat para sumikat/manatiling sikat kahit pa maghubad.Baka naman sobrang feminist ka lang or ultra conservative?

I agree with aquacharly-leave your husband's personal space IF you're not capable of handling na ang asawa mo , normal na lalaki, he feels lustful about naked celebs, don't go through his browsing history.

Just broaden your mind,men will be men, and for you-your man deserves a better partner na walang hang ups.Nade-depress ka tuloy sa sarili mong reactions.This is what married life is like, Mrs.TS.Hindi man natin maintindihan lahat , dapat i-try kasi kasal at mahal natin yung tao.

Good luck!
Wag mo na rin palakihin ang issue for what it is. Pasalamat ka tunay na lalaki asawa mo at nae-L sa babae.

[ghee.lucky]

kakatingin nya ng pics ng mga girls, inthe end di na yan makukuha sa patingin-tingin at pa-comment comment. Mag try-try na yan  . Nilalapit nya sarili nya sa tukso.

[rhamneroj16]

Hindi kasi ako selosang babae. Siguro kung magseselos ako yung dapat kaselosan. Kasi para sa akin napaka immature kung pati ba naman yun ay dadamdamin mo pa. Hindi naman nya makukuha yan. Plus sis! may favorite line. Ikaw ang nag WAGI. Ikaw ang asawa. Okay sana kung nalaman mo nangbabae sya dun ka magselos at magalit.

[Ms.Cacao70%]

i think you should stop spying on him for your own peace of mind. yan din ang isa sa mga bagay na natutunan ko being married for 12 years.  kase lalake yan e, they have their own 'kalokohan', or sa salitang kanto 'libog'. they will look at other girls sa magazines, nude sites and look at their boobs etc. etc. in a way, pareho lang din sila sa atin kase tayo din naman kinikilig sa mga gwapo at machong celebrities aminin natin yan. we talk about them too in forums and we use words to describe them but for us its nothing, we know that we'll never gonna hook up with these guys. haha.

saka iba ang usapang lalake, iba ang forum nila medyo bastos silang magsalita. kase alam naman nila na puro lalake lang ang sumasali doon. and to be honest, he is not thinking about you when he comments there, hindi nya iniisip na "omg baka mabasa ito ng misis ko kaya aayusin ko ang comment ko" hahaha  you know. dont take it personally. and give him some privacy din. its not healthy for you to check on every site he goes to and stuff. as long as he knows his limits and is faithful and loyal to you ok lang yon. it doesnt mean na magloloko na siya agad.for me, kung magloloko ang isang lalake hindi na nya kailangan pang tumigin sa mga magazines at sexy websites, gagawin na niya yon agad.

[ymgsiri]

Thanks ms. cacao.. I'll take note of that... I guess I overreact when I saw it. Dati naman kase nung hindi kame kasal I let him do what he wants. And na cculture shock lang siguro ako kase medyo liberated mga tao dito. Alam mo naman pag galing pilipinas conservative (ng konti) Anyways TY

[cmax]

I agree with Ms.Cacao70%. Nung bagong kasal kami, lahat kinakalkal ko. Snoopy tawag ko sa sarili ko. Mapaparanoid ako pag di ako makalogin sa emails, phone, etc. So imagine the stress I'm putting myself into. I've learned to let go. So far, matahimik ang buhay. And somehow, I don't feel threatened kung kelan ko tinigilan ang pagiging snoop ko sa personal space ng asawa ko. Trust Sis and acceptance na boys will be boys are the keys to your peace.

[berryblitz]

well at least you didn't found him na naglalaway sa larawan ng mga hubad na lalaki 

i am not saying na wala kang karapatang magselos.  pero yung sa husband mo, it's so normal.

kung ako sa kalagayan mo, i won't really mind it.

my husband, i give him the right to go to clubs if he needs or wants to.  una hindi sya pupunta ng mag isa lang sya kasi kuripot yun.  and pumupunta sya ganung lugar pag kasama nya mga pinsan (supplier customer nya), supplier or customer nya.  so part talaga yun ng marketing. manuod sya ng babaeng nakahubad.  i don't care.  isinama pa nga nya ako one time sa may ganun.

ang sinabi ko lang sa kanya, kung may gagawin syang milagro, natural huwag nya papaalam sa akin.  and huwag nyang bubuntisin. and ang pinakapakiusap ko sa kanya is huwag sya magkakaron ng mistress, at huwag syang makikipaglaro sa kapwa nya lalaki.

there's really nothing wrong with your husband.

 
PS.  i saw a picture on his celfone, him with a girl na may numero, kaakbay nya.  they are in a karaoke.  sa china or hongkong ata si hubby with his relatives.  ok lang. pero sabi ko sa kanya, next time huwag syang magtago ng ganung picture hahaha.

[Girltalker2]

What is it with men such that they do this?  Don't they have self respect or even respect for their sisters and mothers?

TS, baka na hurt ka nga lang kasi una una newly married pa kayo.  He is supposed to find you and only you sexy and not have those kinds of thoughts with other women.

Second, why does he have to pass comments like that?  I understand the predicament naman kasi.  Nakikita ko yung mga lalaking naglalaway tuwing may nakikitang ibang babae or nagsasabi ng mga comments that insinuates other things --- parang hindi kasi sila satisfied sa current sex life nya or sa partner/asawa nila kaya sila nagkakaganun.  Opinion ko lang naman ito. Kapag iconfront mo naman if they are satisfied, baka ideny pa.  Pero for me ang babaw, they act like pigs behind your back.  Nakakahiya sila maging asawa.

Anyway, good that you have talked it out with your hubby.  At good medyo natablan rin sya ng kahihiyan. Ang hirap kasi sa society natin, kapag nagc comment ng ganyan ang mga lalaki sa mga kapwa lalaki, feeling nila they are more manly. Parang as if kung tahimik lang sila, they will be accused of being gay. That's BS.

[1choi_ko9]

Of course I will feel annoyed, pissed and disrespected.

He may have his "wild imagination thoughts", pero para sakin and for the sanctity of marriage it is something unforgivable.

Sabi nga nila, its like committing adultery kahit pa hindi nila nahahawakan but the thought na nag ra-run sa mind nila is inexcusable to the eyes of the Lord. Kase they are lusting on a different woman aside from their own wife. Maybe sa mga asawa natin walang mali don and ijajustify nilang wala silang ginagawang masama... kase for them they are not cheating...ni hindi naman nila nahahawakan at nakakausap ng personal...pero yon nga the point na ineentertain nila ang idea dun sumasama.

Baliktarin na tin ang mundo, if ikaw ba kaya ang gumawa non...ikatuwa kaya ng asawa mo???