Happy Marriages

[TysLolakins]

30 years married,  37 years been together.
for 2 totally opposite personalities,  we seem to mesh well. 
we always strive to work together,  we both accept each other's weaknesses and  neither one tries or attempts to change the other to some ideal.  and we always try to be nice to one another.  that's the key,   be nice.
one thing i can say in the over 3 decades of being together,  infidelity was never an issue.  i don't think it's as rampant here compared sa Pinas,  from reading other threads,  it seemed that's the main issue with couples there.  actually wala akong kilala dito na may issue ng ganyan, i guess everybody is so busy keeping up with the rat race style of living,  wala ng time mangaliwa.
our relationship is not perfect but it works.
and lastly,  both should be crazily in love with the other person. yun na.
 

[nathanielle]

^It's so heartwarming to read stories such as yours. Where are you from? Is your husband also Filipino?

Kami naman almost 3 years married. No kids, but we're doing all right and we're still trying. I can honestly say that my husband is the perfect partner for me. Tinanggap nya ako when I had lost all hope of ever finding true love. He is responsible and maalaga and we have no trust issues. At the bottom of our marriage is that we genuinely like each other. We laugh at each other's jokes, we can talk about anything and everything, and we have similar interests. We have our differences of course, like any other couple, but over the years we have managed to communicate better with each other. 3 years na kami and our sex life is like as if we were still newlyweds. 

[TysLolakins]

^It's so heartwarming to read stories such as yours. Where are you from? Is your husband also Filipino?

[/size]yes sis, we're both Filipino, been living in the states for 34/28 years.  we're what you call high-school sweethearts, started going out when we're 15.  also our relationship endured separation for a few years when my family migrated here.  lolo/lola na kame ngayon [size=78%]
[/size]yes, i agree with geniunely liking your spouse,  the rest just follows (compromising, accepting, trusting, giving way, ...).  i can sense that you have a good one going too.  i wish you many many more happy, healthy and blissful years together![size=78%]

[j.adore]

Somehow natatakot ako pag sinasabi madami magiging challenges through the years but at the same time, confident because of our love.

[ri-anne]

Having a happy marriage is a teamwork by both husband and wife.
Also, happiness is a choice, ika nga. Minsan kasi ok naman lahat, pero hindi makuntento, laging naghahanap kung anong wala. So instead of that, both must appreciate each other and nurture what they already have.
It is always a two-way thing.
Sabi nga, Happy Wife, Happy Life...or A wife is like a flower, shower it wih love and it will bloom (something like that)... Parang yung lalaki kailangang may gawin no? Hehe pero  paano magagawa ng husband yan sa wife nya if he doesn't feel honored or appreciated or loved. Sabi nga, If you want to be treated like a Queen, Treat him like a King.
Lol...pero i think, malaki role ng husband in having a happy marriage. Kaya nga sila haligi ng tahanan, padre de familia, leader, etc. If he wavers, the wall (marriage) will start to crumble.
Well, that's just my pov.

[momlory]

Nagstart kami ng marriage na maraming misunderstanding. Nagsimula siya during wedding preps pa. Pero soon I learned to improve myself by attending a individual retreat brahma kumaris. Sinamahan ako ng husband ko so narealize niya na marami rin syang dapat iimprove sa sarili niya.

Swerte ko na rin kasi during those times kahit ilang beses nako nagwalk out sa house. Hindi nag giveup sakin ang husband ko. Yun siguro ang secret for a marriage to last wag ggive up.

Secret to make your marriage happy is improve yourself pareho. Work as a team and Ask god for Guidance.

Last It's a matter of perspective. Take the challenges as an opportunity for you both of you to grow. And always be happy. Kahit may kulang kahit may problema maging masaya kayo pareho and think positive. Mahirap yan ipractice pero we push ourselves to be hanggang naging habit na namin.

good luck to all and wish you all the happiness.

[yannuh]

Going 1 year and 7 months on the 12th of April. Struggle din sa simula. Parehas kaming walang alam sa bahay. Ni hindi marunong magsaing. Tapos pataasan ng pride. First month of marriage, sobrang saya, tapos nung medyo tumagal, away away na mga 2nd-4th month namin. Pero ngayon i think nakapag adjust na both parties. Matutong lunukin ang pride, magkusa at magsabi ng sorry. Learn to compliment din yung partner mo, important yan. Saka ensure mo na happy lagi si partner mo. Check mo lagi kumusta araw nya. then pray kayo lagi for the betterment of your marriage. And bago ko malimutan, know your partner's language of love. ako kasi touch so gusto lagi sya nakadikit sken, or holding hands kami palagi kahit nanonood lang tv or yakap nya ko palagi. May mga times na namimiss yun ni hubby so na-sasad ako and sinasabi ko sa kanya. tapos nag aadjust naman sya dun. Sya naman, service daw and touch din so lagi ko sya inaasikaso sa bahay, pinaglulutuan, binabaunan ng lunch sa office, etc.

Nung bf-gf pa lang kami once pa lang ata kami nagsimba together pero now, mahilig na kami magsimba. Important talaga si Papa God as center of your married life

[barbillie]

Husband and I are classmates since elem and highschool. Nawalan kami ng communication for about 10 years before kami nagkita ulit. May girlfriend pa sya nun, pero lagi kami nagkikita or nagkakausap. Best friend naman ang turing ko sakanya kasi close naman kami dati pero hindi ko talaga sya type nun. Only to find out na nafall na sya sakin, and nagkakalabuan na sila ng ex nya ng mga 1 year na din. After that, nakipagbreak sya and after several months, naging kami. We decided to get married a year after.

At first, ang dami naming insecurities sa isa't-isa. Ako palagi nyang inaaway kasi hindi ako clingy type dati, tagal ko kasi naging single so naging independent talaga ako. Sya naman, nainsecure sa mga past relationships ko. Pero sabi nga nila, nadadaan ang lahat sa mabuting usapan. Habang tumatagal, yung trust namin sa isa't-isa eh tumitibay, yung faith kay God at syempre yung love namin naging more forgiving na, more understanding.

Totoo pala na kapag nag-asawa na, mas iisipin mo yung welfare ng partner mo. Before pag namimili ako, puro laging para sa sarili ko. Now, mas iniisip ko na sya, in terms of food, health, personal things and gamit sa bahay. Pati sa decisions, hindi na pwede na magdedecide ka on your own. Palagi dpat mutual agreement, and ang pinaka-importante if hindi magkasundo eh, compromise. Meet halfway. Hindi pataasan ng pride, more of giving rather than receiving. Mahirap magkaselfless yes, pero I think sa ganitong paraan tumatagal ang marriages. Open communication, honesty at respect sa partner.

3 years and counting.

[antithesisofbarbie]

4 years going strong.

Pray for each other.
Appreciation
Communication
Care and Support
Stay attractive

Hirap kami sa communication before, through time naimprove na din namin
Saka important talaga na ipagpray ang isa't isa - strength, wisdom and guidance sa married life.
I believe na wala naman talagang pro when it comes to being a husband or wife.
Always appreciate your spouse. Usually kasi if puro mali lang nakikita natin mas naghaharbor iyon ng bad vibes and feeling ko iyon na din ng start na nag eentertain sila ng mga kung sino sino na nakaka-appreciate sa kanila.

Sabi nga nila para maging successful ang relationship wag tayo matakot na tayo ang mas nagmamahal.

[Shadow Angel]

2 years married sabi ng iba honeymoon stage pa ang ganitong years but maari nga pero sa totoo lang dami ko kakilala na mas una pa kami kinasal or kasabayan lang namin na ang gulo na agad ng samahan nila. Hindi ako masyadong nag kwekwento sa mga friends ko dito except dun sa mga ka long distance na close friend ko. One time kasi may nag ask sa akin if nag aaway kami kasi hindi ako nagsasabi ng problema or reklamo ko about my husband. Sabi ko sa totoo lang hindi talaga kami nag aaway un mga tampuhan namin na less than 5 siguro wala lang. Sa opinion nila parang hindi ka paniniwala lalo na un nag tanong medyo magulo ang relationship nilang mag asawa kahit na bago pa lang. May comment pa pangit daw un hindi nag aaway. So sabi ko anong gagawin ko kung hindi talaga kami nag aaway sabi ko hindi kami perfect pero we both matured pagdating sa issue open communication kami kung anong ayaw o gusto sinasabi namin. Kaya dito ako sa GT nag kwe kwento ng mga kilig moments namin mag asawa. Mahirap kasi kwentuhan mga taong may problema sa partners nila.

[Girltalker2]

^ sa mga couples na nabanggit mo na nagkakagulo even before their 2nd anniversary, parang ang hirap naman ng pinasok nila. Umpisa palang. And malayo pa kaya bubunuin nila, so they have to think through Kung iyan ba ang buhay na gusto nila.

Baka iyan nanga kasi ang norm ngayon. But if you ask me, marriages ought to be happy, kaya nga kayo nagpakasal. Moreso, in the first several years and both spouses should continue to work on sustaining the connection as they spend the rest of their lives together.

[Shadow Angel]

^katulad ko foreigner din asawa nila.  Siguro ako kasi iba talaga ako mag isip kaya foreigner ang gusto ko iba kasi mentality ko. Karamihan kasi pinay dito parang pinoy ang asawa kung pakisamahan like mga pabebe na drama. Sa foreigner kasi hindi pwede ang mind guessing na dadaanin mo sa pakiramdam na may tampo ka. Meron pa nga dito na madaling araw nag walk out at sa park nag stay ang pinay until morning. Tapos ang pinag awayan wala naman kwenta.

[simang]

We're newly married pa lang, 1.5 years. I can confidently say that I'm very happy with our married life. Lowkey lang, I'd say kung paano kami as bf-gf, ganun pa rin kami until now na may baby na kami. Honestly, when people complain about their partners and their issues, di ako makarelate. We've never had major arguments eh. May mga misunderstanding but most of it are petty and we're able to resolve them right away, nothing that involves money, or infidelity, or attitude problems. I guess I got lucky kasi ever since we started, yung wavelength ng utak namin are almost always in sync. We agree on most things and it's not just about agreeing to disagree ah, yung talagang same kami ng pananaw sa buhay kaya madali kaming magkaintindihan. Another thing is that my husband is so transparent, he's never ashamed of showing his real feelings, alam na alam ko kung masaya sya, galit, may iniisip, or kung ano man. Actually he has taught me how to communicate better. I honestly feel that he has made me a better person. Yung tipong before ko sya nakilala, feeling ko ang buti buti ko ng tao, pero nung naging kami, may mas ikakabubuti pa pala ako. Haha. But he's not the saintly type of good person, he has his share of kalokohan din, which actually makes him more endearing. I always see his personality na childlike -- mischievous pero charming, optimistic pero hindi blinded.

Sa opinion nila parang hindi ka paniniwala lalo na un nag tanong medyo magulo ang relationship nilang mag asawa kahit na bago pa lang. May comment pa pangit daw un hindi nag aaway. So sabi ko anong gagawin ko kung hindi talaga kami nag aaway sabi ko hindi kami perfect pero we both matured pagdating sa issue open communication kami kung anong ayaw o gusto sinasabi namin.

Nung bago kami kinasal, I've received a few questions din na ganito. Kung nag-aaway daw ba kami. Hindi din kasi kami nag-aaway talaga, as I mentioned yung utak namin magkasundo talaga, then one close friend told me na wag ko daw pakasalan hanggat hindi kami nag aaway ng matindi. Kasi dun lang daw makikita ng totoong personality ng tao. This friend kasi most of his relationships end up in intense fights yung tipong nagsisigawan sa kalsada at may lupasay pang nagaganap. But that's just not me, kilala naman nya ako hindi ako ganun magalit. And isa pa wala naman kaming reason para mag-away. so I don't think we'll ever have that.

Sa totoo talaga sobrang chill lang naming mag-asawa, we let go of the small stuff, we choose our battles wisely I should say. Gusto namin masaya lang lagi.

[Shadow Angel]

Sis simang tumpak nakuha mo lahat ng gusto ko pa idagdag or sabihin ganyan ganyan kami ni hubby. Kahit wala kaming usapan bigla na lang kami pareho hindi gusto ang away sa walang kwenta bagay pinag uusapan namin ng maayos hindi un big deal agad. Marami kasi na sa sobrang inis sa mga bad habits ng partner mega agad awayin un mister lalo na pag puno na. Kaya we settle our issues right away. Dami ko rin nakukuha comment na dapat daw meron kami away na major para makita ko ugali. Natural na pasensyoso si hubby kahit sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya mahaba pasensya nya lalo na sa kapatid at friends nya. Pero aminado si hubby na hindi ganito Ang treatment nya sa mga naging ex nya katulad ng pagmamahal nya sa akin. Sa akin daw nya binuhos lahat. Kaya habang ganito kami enjoy lang namin. Hindi ko gusto mag isip ng nega katulad ng iba na honeymoon stage daw or bago pa lang daw or kasi hindi pa kayo nag aaway etc. Ang nakakatawa pa un madalas mag cocomment ng ganyan ay mga baguhan pa lang din kasal.

[blushberry]

simang, that's so nice to hear.  That there is a man who can make you feel like that.  I used to be on that same boat.  I thought my husband loved me but the only difference is that we probably don't love each other enough for him to avoid having girls.  I hope one day i can have my happily ever after too.

[kaythrielle]

^you will too sis...although "happily ever after" is not the end of a story just like in fairy tales, but it is a work in progress lagi.
Hopefully you find  a man willing to work also for your "happily ever after"

Anyway, on topic, Happy Marriage is a constant nurturing, effort of both husband and wife.
Not all the time marriage is all roses, parang impossible... because there will be differences of opinions, etc about certain things. Pero okay lang naman yun.
What is More Important is how the couple deals with those differences, those times na imperfect tingin nila sa spouses nila.

Actually, i find those couple who experienced the "honeymoon stage" ika nga...or those couples na sweet at smooth sailing early part of their marriage...well, Lucky. I really admire them.

Kami kasi, our first few years of marriage, talaga sobrang adjustments nangyari and puro away kami. Thankfully, we were able to get past all those challenges and was able to come out stronger. And now, 12 years and counting, thank God, we have matured a lot and have come a long way since then. Perfect, no, but Happy Marriage yes.

[cosmochick]

I believe in happy marriages.

My marriage is never perfect but I would like to believe that we are both happy.
During the first years, we were really happy. Parang barkada lang kasi relationship namin. Until I became cold and we had this turbulent phase. na Fall out of love ako,

It happened just recently actually and I'm proud to say that we overcame it and our bond is stronger now than ever. I'm thankful for what happened kasi he realized that he can't live without me and ako na number 1 priority nya palagi. My husband is a spoiler pero mas super spoiled talaga ako ngayon.

What brought back my love to him is his consistency, as in parang niligawan ako ulit. Kahit super maldita ako, he remained to be soooo patient with me. Then what really woke me up  was when he told me if ever we break up and I fall in love with someone else or if he lose me in any way, never na daw sya maghahanap ng iba. Ako lang daw talaga ang mamahalin nya forever And he looked so kawawa when he said it. Nag melt ang heart ko... and I realized nobody would ever love me the way he does.

Someone has told me before na dapat mas mahal ka talaga ng lalaki kasi guys are more prone to temptation kaya kung super love ka ng guy, lesser ang chance to go astray. Minsan lang daw ang lalaki ma inlove but once they're in love, they are really in love.

[momlory]

3 years married. Nasa honeymoon stage pa rin kami. Though wala naman kami plans na matapos ang honeymoon stage. Lagi kami napagkakamalan na mag bf/gf.  I'm not sure if this is a good sign.
But we choose to be happy kahit sa mga arguments namin we are both working out na wag magaway kasi nga gusto namin masaya palagi.

[jaja27]

6 years married, well sabi nga nila happiness is a choice and I believe na winowork out din yun. During the First 2 years ng marriage namin wala pa masyadong arguments kaya honeymoon stage pa sya. When we reach our 3rd year ayun na gusto ko na siyang ibalik sa nanay niya pag nagaaway kami hehe. Dun na unang beses akong nasigawan nun nagaaway kami. Dun ko naexperience na gusto ko ng maglayas (pero di naman ako umabot dun). So lahat ng pede namin pagawayan lumabas nung ika 3rd and 4th year ng marriage namin. Nung nareach na nmin yun ika 5th year, dumating naman na kmi dun sa kilalang kilala na namin isa't isa. As in tingin ko pa lang alam na niya kung ano gusto ko sabihin. Wala na masyadong insecurities, selosan and arguments. As in by that time, secured na yung feeling mo na you have a partner in everything. Sabi nga nila it takes 2 to tango, so dapat both of you are committed to make the relationship works.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

5 years together as bf/gf and 2 mos. as a married couple, following this thread for inspiration.