Happy Marriages

[sarah29]

Mga sis, share naman kayo ng stories about your successful and happy marriage. Pansin ko kase laging topic dito e yung mga kabit, o nambabae yung hubby, or wala nang passion yung marriage, etc. I'm getting married soon and yung anxiety ko e pataas din ng pataas! lol. Alam ko kase once in, di ko na pwede alisan. It would be nice to hear happy marriage stories

[aquacharly]

Darling, everybody is happy in their marriages....  But not all the time.  Hahaha. "Most of the time" is better than "good enough". 

Bottom-line,  whatever a couple went through --  there should be more happiness/contentment than grief/regret.   (Though  For some, it is a matter of perspective/attitude;  or ginormous capacity to love, suffer, hope & pray.)

IMO --  YES,  most marriages are happy more often than not.
Even when marriages  may have been dragged to hell & back, YES. -    Marriages  can be/are  happy again.

IMO,  --  sobra super many the stories of "successful & happy" marriages you asked to hear of.
These range from the ordinary moments of kindness between spouses to epic stories worthy of MMK scripts. 
Too many stories of happy marriages, just read between the lines of every complaint/heartache in this forum ...... Since:
We survived, ergo we have a successful marriage.  The Happy Memories/Times outnumber the days of grief; ergo, our marriages are "happy".
We choose to wake up each day to be happy/positive; ergo, we succeed to stay  in happy marriages. 
The daily challenge of financial advance, child rearing, marital communication --  dyan, madami stories pointing to "successful & happy" marriages.

Hwag ka ma turn-off/get fearful with  the abundance of  unhappy marital topics here.
Though none  of us here wish even our enemies the curved balls Life at times throw at us -- we share segments of our lives.  Look at it as an outpouring of empathy/kindness from other married women.
You can gain useful practical wisdom,  and effective approaches to problem solving (or problem avoidance) from what others here share.  Learn.

Best wishes, on your forthcoming wedding. Do not be afraid, Married Life is Beautiful. 

[sarah29]

Thank you sis! I agree with you.. madami nga rin akong natutunan sa mga topics dito. Ready naman ako sa marriage ng puno ng ups and downs.. ang hinde ko lang ata mattake e pag nagkaaffair yung mapapangsawa ko! lol.  Pansin ko lang din kase ang dami talagang husbands na nambabae. I can't help but wonder kung may magasawa bang hinde dumaan sa mga affair issues?

[maiandra]

Hi sis, I understand your worries about getting married and that you're looking for encouragement and sucess stories. You can actually interview some couples in your church or community who have been married a long time and ask them what makes their story successful.

Or you can read marriage books by Gary Chapman (The 4 Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage) or Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage by Fawn Weaver.

Sis. its more of your perspective of what your marriage will be e. But most of the time, you will surely find what you are looking for. So don't look for trouble or you will surely find it.


http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Wives-Club-Worldwide-Marriage/dp/1400205042/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389639219&sr=1-1&keywords=happy+wives+club

[katrinac]

Mag 2 years palang kami kasal ni hubby ko, and parang nasa honeymoon stage pa ata kami. Dati sabi ng mom ko before ako ikasal, ang buhay may asawa eh napakahirap daw. Pero di ko alam, parang pakiramdam ko eh mag BF - GF parin kami. I feel lucky kasi my husband is very mabait. walang bisyo, di rin mabarkada. Parang wala ngang social life. hehe! Well not 100% naman. Nasa bahay lang sya palagi. and pag may work naman, uuwi agad. Time clock pagdating nya sa bahay. Sana lang, pag tumagal eh ganyan parin sya. Lalo na ngayon, magiging daddy na sya, mas lalo sya naging "ideal" husband for me. Even paglaba ng mga damit ko, sya lahat gumagawa, wag lang ako mapagod. I don't want to say na success na ang marriage namin, dahil mag 2 years palang naman kami kasal, pero very happy kami pareho sa married life namin. Couldn't ask for more.

And to you sis sarah29 wag kang matakot. Well magkakaroon ka ng jitters before your wedding day. Kaya very impt na kilala mo ang mapapangasawa mo and tanggap mo kung ano ba talaga sya. And sa marriage, may adjustment phase talaga yan, so wag ikaw magugulat na kapag may times na parang magugulat ka nalang na "ay ganto pala ugali ng asawa ko". Ang dami beses na kasi nanyari sakin yan, and up to now, ang dami kong na didiscover sa kanya. And i'm loving it 

[sarah29]

katrinac - Wow sis.. that's exactly how my fiance is! Walang bisyo and hinde mabarkada. Bahay, work, and gym lang din sya and he introduces me to everyone, at kasama nya ako palagi kung ppwede. He's also very serious about Christianity. I feel blessed to have met a guy like him. I'm so happy to hear about your marriage sis. I hope sana kahit pag tagal at kahit pag married na kame, hinde magbago fiance ko katulad ng sayo Sabi nga din ng tatay ko na sobrang hirap nga daw ng married life. Pero nung naisip ko, may anak na din kase yung mama ko sa previous relationship nya.. tas naganak din sila agad (which is me), kahit wala pa sila masyadong pera. So ang dami nilang pinagdaanan. Tatlo na anak nila bago sila magpakasal. So I guess yun ang mga dahilan kung baket ba sinasabi ng tatay ko na mahirap ang married life. Yung mama ko din kase sobrang hinde din housewife material. Kaya ayun.. siguro tambak tambak problema nila nuon. Pero ngayon naman, sila padin at happily married.

And tama ka sis, importante talaga na kilala ang mapapangasawa. I can say na confident ako sa part na yan. Mabait talaga yung fiance ko.. ideal man ko talaga sya. Nakakatakot lang na baka magbago someday! haha. Salamat sis sa advice mo.. really helpful at nakakatuwa yung married life mo. Very happy for you.


maiandra- Thank you sis! I will check those out. And you're right. I agree with your last three sentences. Thanks sis!

[marose17]

Pray and make God the center of your marriage.  Be your husband's lover, best friend, cheerleader, confidante, etc.  Do not expect but be grateful for the unexpected extras or surprises.  Be your own woman.  Never nag.

[rhamneroj16]

Hello! kami ng hubby ko mag 3mos palang kami na kasal. kahit long distance kami sya nasa US ako dito sa pinas. We are still happy and contented.  siguro sanayan lang kasi kahit di pa kami kasal almost 5 years din kami na nasa ldr before we get married.

[sistah!]

marriage is indeed a blessing. IMO, marriages who go through the rough waters of infidelity, physical and emotional struggles, financial difficulties, etc can be happy marriages as well. I know people who have survived those, lived to tell the tale and are perfectly satisfied.

it is not easy and certainly not a joke when people say that marriage is hard work. when you live with someone, it's often the littlest things that mean the most. when you know the value of your marriage, you will always find something to be grateful for and with gratitude, you find happiness.

[sarah29]

Thanks mga sis!

rhamneroj16 - Hi sis. Pareho pala tayo sitwasyon. Bale uuwi ako ng Pinas sa April.. pakasal din kame agad then Uwi ako agad ng July. Nakakalungkot nga isipin e. Kukunin ko din naman sya agad. Hopefully less than a year magkasama na kame. Thanks sis!

[bagaholic_chewy]

Basta sis, remember na walang perfect marriage. And wag mainggit sa ibang couples. Pwede mo sila gawing inspiration, pero don't compare and complain if feeling mo mas masaya sila kesa sa inyo. Baka feeling mo lang yun. Kanya-kanyang style din kasi yan. Work on it if feeling mo may kulang or mali. And remember din na open communication is important. Madaming mareresolve na issues kung ok ang communication nyo as a couple.

Perhaps sinasabi ng matatanda na marriage is hardwork kasi syempre me adjustments - sa living arrangements, household management stuff, handling finances, pati little nuances like malakas pala maghilik asawa mo, magulo sya sa gamit/closet, etc. Pero IMO, it makes marriage exciting. Kasi lagi kang me nadidiscover na bago sa sarili mo at sa partner mo. It's actually up to us kung pano natin iha-handle ang mga yun.

Btw, six years married pa lang ako. Then bf-gf for seven years. So for sure madami pa din ako matutunan along the way. Let's just enjoy the ride mga sis.

[rhamneroj16]

Thanks mga sis!

rhamneroj16 - Hi sis. Pareho pala tayo sitwasyon. Bale uuwi ako ng Pinas sa April.. pakasal din kame agad then Uwi ako agad ng July. Nakakalungkot nga isipin e. Kukunin ko din naman sya agad. Hopefully less than a year magkasama na kame. Thanks sis!

Sis Congrats! Wishing you a happy marriage. Sis i know kung ano pakiramdam mo. Buti ka nga months stay mo dito sa pinas para magkasama kayo Samantalang si hubby nung wedding namin almos 3 weeks lang sya dito. Then fly na uli. pero okay lang kasi na stage na kami na kukunin nya ako. Nagfiled na sya ng petition last week. Waiting na lang kami for approval. San ka US sis? basta sis wag ka maging sad okay plus ikakasal na kayo. Ayiee. Im so happy for you

[katrinac]

sarah29 - and oh, another tip sis, para mas maging healthy and happy ang samahan nyo, kahit kasal na kayo don't stop doing yung mga bagay na ginagawa nyo nung hindi pa kayo kasal. If feeling mo eh na nakakatamad na or nagsasawa ka sa routinary na buhay, hanap kayo ng bagong pagkaka abalahan. And do not forget to communicate with each other. Do not nag din. For sure pet peeve ng mga asawa natin yan at magiging asawa. Wag na wag kayo matutulog ng di pinaguusapan ang dapat pagusapan. And syempre, Trust

[simang]

They say a married couple should check in to motels from time to time :-)

[princessrio]

13 years kami magbf/gf before we got married. going 3 years of marriage pa lang kami with 1 toddler. i can say that we have a happy marriage. it's not perfect but very happy. i'm very much thankful for my husband.

siguro ang maipapayo ko ay ito..
-maging center si God ng family.
-magkaroon kayo ng open communication lagi. listen to what your husband has to say and don't shut him out.
-go out on dates, travels.
-keep the fire/love burning

marriage is not always a bed of roses..sometimes there are thorns in it also.
best wishes to you and your husband!

[sarah29]

Thanks mga sis! Helpful sobra ng mga advices nyo And I agree about the motel thing lol..

[rhamneroj16]

They say a married couple should check in to motels from time to time :-)

LOL. agree ako dyan..

[mojitayanipot]

Hello, sis sarah29! My hubby and I have been married almost 5 years and I guess I can say we're still happily married. We've had our share of fights and tampuhans over the first couple of years, pero we learned from them. The key is to always talk to each other. I learned that we have to always be open about our thoughts and feelings. Hirap kasi kung maghuhulaan kami lagi. Haha! And although silence or the cold shoulder is what we, ladies, usually fall back on pag galit tayo, I learned na mas maganda pag hindi pinapatagal ang hindi pag-uusap. Why suffer through the silence kung pwede naman pag-usapan ng mahinahon, diba?

Each of you would have to be prepared for any shortcomings din. My hubby and I haven't been blessed with a baby yet. Noong una, ako lagi nagpapacheck-up kasi we thought baka ako ang may problema. Late 2012 lang nung napilit ko si hubby magpacheck-up. Turns out sya pala ang may problema. Pero either way, walang sisihan sa amin. We love each other so kung di man kami magka-baby, ok lang. Masaya parin kami sa isa't isa.

Naiinggit ako dun sa marriages na may sexual spark parin several years down the road. Naiinggit ako dun sa mga nagchecheck-in sa motels from time to time. Hehe! Dahil sa sakit ng hubby ko, we haven't really been getting it on much since maybe year 3? Dagdag pa siguro na super stressed and lagi syang busy sa work. It was a bit tough nung una kasi syempre, sex is somehow an integral part in anyone's married life. Pero we both learned to accept it. Hindi ko sya sinusumbatan, lalo na when he told me na parang napepressure sya lalo for us to have a baby (knowing na sya yung dahilan kung bakit wala parin kaming baby hanggang ngayon).

I guess the key is to always be there for each other. Ang away at tampuhan, hindi maaalis yun. Through the downs, it's important to always remember that there were and will always be ups in your relationship.

When my hubby and I got married, I wouldn't really consider us best friends yet back then. Madly in love, yes. We met in 2007 kasi and got married in 2009. I knew when we met that he was the one that I've been praying for. I guess tama yung sinasabi ng iba na "You just know". Hehe! So anyway, down the road, my husband also became my bestest friend ever.

You're lucky sis, kasi umpisa palang, best friends na kayo agad. Best wishes on your upcoming wedding sis.

[rhamneroj16]

Wow! mojitayanipot - grabe napaka inspiring naman ang married life mo. teary eyes tuloy ako.
Alam mo Sissy, napagusapan narin namin ng hubby ko about sa pag kakaroon ng baby, magpapacheck up muna kami sa oby before mag-baby. mag 3 mos palang kami na married. we are both 22 yrs old nung ikinasal kami nitong oct 2013 lang. Kaya wala pa sa isip namin na mag baby for now. Atleast 3 years after. Kasi kukunin pa nya ako dito sa pinas. Napagusapan namin kahit ano mangyari kami parin till end. Kung dumating man yun na di kami bigyan ng baby. ang sabi ng hubby ko. Hindi daw sya mag sisisi kung di man kami bibigyan ng anak. (Wag naman sana) ako nalang daw ang baby nya at sya na lang din ang baby nya. Isipin mo na lang na una palang nagstart ang relationship nyo naging masaya kayo kahit wala kayong baby.

Yung tita ko until now wala parin silang baby 13 yrs na sila kasal. ginawa na nila lahat pero wala talaga. and nakikita ko sa pagsasama nila nakapasaya parin nila hanggang ngayon Kami na lang daw mga pamangkin nya ang mga anak nya. )

but Sissy! dont lost hope. Just keep on praying! God is Good

[mojitayanipot]

^ Awww... Thanks so much sissy! We're still praying parin naman. And you're right. Whether may baby kami or wala, it doesn't change the fact that we got married because we love each other. Kung bigyan ng baby, salamat ng madami kay God. Kung hindi, ok lang din kasi we have each other. Happy na ako na may partner ako in life, that I have someone to grow old with.